How to START APPROACHING WOMEN (RESULTS GUARANTEED!!)

Summary

The video script discusses the mindset required for successful social interactions, particularly with women. It contrasts the ineffective approach of a character named Jeffrey, who views women as adversaries, with the more positive experiences of the narrator and his friend Levi. The script emphasizes the importance of overcoming approach anxiety and the need to practice and build habits, rather than overthinking or setting unrealistic expectations. It encourages viewers to focus on the act of approaching and initiating conversations, viewing each interaction as a step towards improvement, regardless of the outcome.

Takeaways

• 😀 Jeffrey has a negative view of women, which hinders his ability to approach them effectively.
• 😔 Jeffrey spends time learning about approaching women but fails to take action, remaining stuck in his comfort zone.
• 😎 The speaker and his friend Levi have had success with cold approaching women in clubs, but the speaker acknowledges the importance of having the right mindset.
• 🌞 The speaker finds day game (approaching women during the day) to be relatively successful, but notes that his past mindset was a barrier to better success.
• 🤔 Overthinking and watching too many videos can lead to inaction and missed opportunities in approaching women.
• 💪 Adonis, a character in the script, is portrayed as confident and unafraid to approach women due to his physical stature and mindset.
• 🚀 The best mindset for approaching women is to focus on the act of approaching itself, rather than overthinking the outcome.
• 🏋️‍♂️ The analogy of going to the gym is used to illustrate that initial attempts may not be perfect, but consistency and practice lead to improvement.
• 🤝 Approaching women should be seen as a habit to be built, with the initial goal being to simply initiate conversation, not necessarily to achieve a specific outcome.
• 💬 The speaker emphasizes that even if the conversation is not perfect, the act of approaching and speaking is progress and should be celebrated.

Q & A

What is the main issue Jeffrey faces when trying to approach women?

Jeffrey views women as the enemy and does not see them as human beings, which leads to him never actually taking action to approach them.

What does the speaker suggest is the wrong approach to learning how to approach women?

The speaker suggests that watching videos without taking action, as Jeffrey does, is the wrong approach to learning how to approach women.

What did the speaker and his friend Levi do when they first learned about cold approaching women?

The speaker and Levi would go to clubs, speak to girls, and often end up kissing girls or sometimes bringing a girl back to sleep with.

What is the speaker's experience with day game compared to night game?

The speaker finds day game to be relatively successful, but he admits that he had the wrong mindset and overthought the process, which affected his performance.

Why does the speaker believe that many people fail to approach women effectively?

The speaker believes that people overthink the process, set the bar for success too high, and focus on the wrong aspects like the perfect script or conversation, rather than just starting the interaction.

What mindset does the speaker recommend for approaching women?

The speaker recommends a mindset where success is defined as simply approaching and speaking to women, regardless of the outcome of the conversation.

What is the analogy the speaker uses to explain the importance of starting the habit of approaching women?

The speaker uses the analogy of going to the gym and focusing on just showing up and starting a workout, even if it's not perfect, to emphasize the importance of beginning the habit of approaching women.

What is the main reason the speaker believes people should not overthink when approaching women?

The speaker believes that overthinking leads to inaction and missed opportunities, as it creates unnecessary anxiety and prevents people from starting conversations.

According to the speaker, what is the best way to overcome approach anxiety?

The best way to overcome approach anxiety, according to the speaker, is to focus on approaching as fast as possible and to accept that the first few interactions will likely be awkward or 'trash'.

What is the speaker's view on the importance of the initial conversations when approaching women?

The speaker views the initial conversations as a necessary step to build the habit of approaching and speaking to women, emphasizing that it's more important to start the conversation than to have a perfect one.

Why does the speaker compare the process of approaching women to a 'lean startup' mindset?

The speaker compares it to a 'lean startup' mindset to illustrate the importance of taking action and making progress, even if imperfect, rather than overpreparing and potentially missing out on opportunities.

Outlines

00:00

🚫 Overcoming Approach Anxiety

The first paragraph of the video script discusses the character Jeffrey's negative perceptions and approach to women, highlighting his misguided attempts to learn how to approach them. It contrasts Jeffrey's ineffective strategies with the speaker's own experiences with cold approaching in both night and day settings. The speaker emphasizes the importance of mindset over specific techniques, stressing that success in approaching women comes from taking action and not overthinking. The paragraph also touches on the idea that initial attempts may not be perfect, but they are necessary steps in building the habit and skill of approaching women.

05:00

💡 Embracing the Lean Startup Mindset in Social Interactions

The second paragraph continues the theme of approaching women by addressing the common issue of overthinking and the importance of taking action. It suggests that focusing on having the 'perfect' conversation or approach is counterproductive. The speaker advises viewers to adopt a 'lean startup' mindset, emphasizing the value of making progress through action and learning from initial, potentially awkward interactions. The paragraph also uses the analogy of a gym workout to illustrate the idea that consistency and practice, rather than perfection, are what lead to success. It concludes by encouraging the viewer to approach women without the pressure of having to perform perfectly on the first try.

Keywords

💡Approach Anxiety

Approach anxiety refers to the fear or nervousness one experiences when initiating contact with another person, especially in social settings. In the video, the concept is central to the theme as it discusses overcoming this fear to successfully interact with women. The script mentions how individuals like Jeffrey and Adonis deal with or overcome approach anxiety, with Adonis feeling comfortable around new women after overcoming his teenage fears.

💡Cold Approach

A cold approach is the act of starting a conversation with a stranger without any prior introduction or interaction. The video emphasizes the importance of cold approaching as a means to improve social skills and increase success in dating. The speaker shares his personal experiences with cold approaching in both club and daytime settings, highlighting its effectiveness.

💡Mindset

Mindset in this context refers to a person's mental attitude or perspective towards a situation. The video stresses the importance of having the right mindset when approaching women, suggesting that success is achieved by focusing on the act of approaching rather than the outcome. The script contrasts the mindsets of Jeffrey, who views women as enemies, and the speaker, who encourages an open and humble mindset.

💡Overthinking

Overthinking is the act of excessively analyzing a situation, which can lead to inaction or anxiety. The video identifies overthinking as a barrier to approaching women, as individuals may play out conversations in their minds and set unrealistic expectations for success. The speaker advises against overthinking and instead encourages immediate action.

💡Success

In the video, success is redefined in the context of approaching women, suggesting that success is not about the outcome of the interaction but the action of approaching itself. The speaker argues that setting the bar too high for success can lead to inaction, and instead, one should focus on the habit of approaching as the initial measure of success.

💡Habit

Habit, as discussed in the video, is a routine behavior that is regularly performed and eventually becomes almost automatic. The speaker emphasizes building the habit of approaching women as the key to overcoming approach anxiety and improving social skills. The script illustrates this by comparing it to going to the gym and building the habit of showing up before focusing on the quality of the workout.

💡Day Game

Day game refers to the practice of approaching and interacting with potential romantic interests during daylight hours, as opposed to nightlife settings. The video mentions day game as an area where the speaker has had relative success, indicating that the skills and mindset required for successful social interactions can be applied in various contexts, not just at night.

💡Scripting

Scripting in this context means preparing a set of things to say in advance before initiating a conversation. The video criticizes the practice of scripting as it can lead to overthinking and missed opportunities for genuine interaction. The speaker suggests that one should focus on the act of approaching rather than planning out every detail of the conversation.

💡Eye Contact

Eye contact is the act of looking into someone's eyes, which is an important aspect of non-verbal communication. While not the main focus of the video, it is implied as a part of effective communication when approaching women. The speaker suggests that focusing too much on such details can lead to overthinking and prevent one from taking action.

💡Body Language

Body language refers to the non-verbal cues and signals we convey through our posture, gestures, and movements. The video briefly mentions body language as an element of communication when approaching women. Although it is not elaborated upon, it is implied that body language can play a role in the success of an interaction, but the speaker advises against focusing too much on it to avoid overthinking.

💡New Year's Resolutions

New Year's resolutions are goals or commitments individuals make at the beginning of a year, often related to self-improvement. The video uses the example of a hypothetical person, Susan, who has a negative experience with a workout class and then abandons her resolution to exercise regularly. This serves as a cautionary tale about setting unrealistic expectations for success and the importance of consistency over perfection.

Highlights

Jeffrey's negative perception of women and his unsuccessful attempts to approach them.

Jeffrey's approach to learning about women by watching videos without taking action.

The importance of approaching women with the right mindset and not overthinking.

The speaker's personal experiences with cold approaching women both at night and during the day.

The contrast between Jeffrey's and the speaker's approach to day game.

The mindset of not being afraid to approach women, exemplified by Adonis.

The analogy of approaching women to going to the gym for a workout.

The concept that success in approaching women is simply about initiating the interaction.

The idea that overthinking can prevent individuals from taking the first step in approaching.

The comparison of setting unrealistic expectations to a beginner's gym workout.

The emphasis on the importance of building the habit of approaching women.

The advice against worrying about what to say when approaching women.

The suggestion that even if the initial conversations are not successful, they are still progress.

The speaker's preference for his own mindset over other methods found on YouTube.

The encouragement to approach women without overthinking, even when feeling unprepared.

The final message about the importance of taking action and not waiting for the perfect moment.

Transcripts

jeffrey thinks all women are [ __ ] i

hate them all they're all [ __ ] they're

all stupid why won't they be my [ __ ]

jeffrey spends 40 days and 40 nights

trying to learn how to approach women

but he does it all in the wrong way he

sees them as the enemy he doesn't even

see them as a human being and so what

you think happens when jeffrey goes out

and tries to approach women nothing he

never even takes action he never even

leaves his crusty computer chair but he

just continuously watches videos on how

to approach women the right way that's

not you is it i first learned about cold

approaching women a few years ago and i

was hooked straight away me and my

friend levi would go to clubs and we'd

be speaking to girls and we'd just be

like

and we actually did pretty well very

often in the middle of the club

everyone's drinking we'd end up kissing

loads of girls and every now and then

every couple of nights would bring a

girl back to sleep with but that was at

night time what about in the daytime

what about day game and you know i'm

pretty blessed to say that for me

personally day game has always pretty

much been relatively successful it's

just that i've always had the wrong

mindset so i was never able to do it

properly i would watch too many videos

and start overthinking i'd see the girl

that i wanted to talk to and i would

just not really do it when i would build

up the courage to go speak to that girl

oftentimes it would go really well i

remember that i got some of the best

experiences of my life in terms of

getting girls with cold approaching and

just going up to a girl and just asking

her a random question like hey excuse me

do you know what time this gym closes

and she'll say something like uh i think

it's like 10 p.m i'm still there looking

at her i go to this gym every single day

i know that the gym is 24 hours and i'm

like oh like yeah

thank you so what's your name my name's

samson you dumbass it's not 10 pm stupid

[ __ ]

adonis isn't afraid to go speak to a

woman why would he he's 7 foot 3 376

pounds what is this puny human going to

do to him adonis hasn't felt approach

anxiety since he was a teenager and

although things were pretty difficult

when he would go up and try and speak to

girls when he was younger he overcame

the trials and tribulations and learnt

the skills and the right mindset and now

adonis feels comfortable around new

women the best mindset that you can have

when you're going out to approach women

is simply success equals approaching

instantly focus entirely on that the

reason why approaching seems so hard the

reason why sometimes when you get the

thought okay i should speak to her and

you start overthinking and you don't

want to do it is because we play out the

conversation in our mind and we're

trying to think okay what should i say

how do i get her into bed with the

highest percentage conversion rate of

the thing that i can say but there's

people looking and we overthink things

too much we simply need to build up the

habit of literally just going up to a

girl as fast as possible and saying

anything with the mindset and the

humility to understand that the first

tens if not hundreds of times that we go

up to speak to girls it's gonna be

pretty trash you can't expect to walk

into the gym and have the perfect gym

workout on your first ever session can

you but that's what a lot of people do

that's what a lot of people who have

waited for the new year's resolutions

and everything they think of the

ultimate hardcore workout and that's

exactly why they don't go to the gym

consistently because they've set the bar

of success too damn high when you go out

to approach girls or when you've had the

thought to do it you've set the bar of

success too high for you the bar of

successes oh like the the number closed

and she's gonna fall in love with me

maybe we can have a sex straight away

and maybe we'll go on a date straight

away and i've got to be able to be

really good at no you can't expect any

of those other things like the more

advanced things just yet that's like

hitting a pr that's like hitting three

plate bench press it takes time to

practice to get to those results right

now we need you to just show up and just

go speak and say anything to a girl just

like for the beginner we need this

beginner to literally just show up to

the gym forget the best workout forget

like you know overthinking about so many

uh strength training or hypertrophic

traits before rapper two second he said

forget about everything else bro just

come to the gym come to the gym for 20

minutes you'll make progress go outside

speak to a girl stutter mess up your

words slow your words save some random

[ __ ] doesn't matter specifically

training that habit of walking up and

just saying something is the most

important part that's like the

bottleneck that you need to be focused

on right now and imagine that imagine

training the habit that would allow you

to literally just go up smoothly

instantly and go speak to a girl

hey yo you're disturbing her she doesn't

want to speak to straight shut up bro

she doesn't want to speak the strange

shut up it's always guys who say this

like i don't want to disturb a girl's

work bro trust me when i say and anyone

who's like done a fair amount of

approaching can back me up in the

comments the overwhelming pretty much

all the time when you go up and you

speak in like a nice friendly way she is

pleasant she actually speaks to you with

a massive smile on your face there's

barely ever any times of the

stereotypical time of like you'll go up

to speak to a girl she'll be scared and

she'll be like getting ready to fight

you some it doesn't happen in real life

bro almost every time i go to speak to a

girl afterwards i just think like why

was i overthinking so much you might

overthink so what are these people gonna

say okay what's the best sentence to use

i'd go up say something silly like say

anything and it ends we end up having a

pleasant conversation and even if i

don't get her number even if i don't end

up dating her or sleeping with her it's

always quite a pleasant interaction and

i always think to myself why did my

brain overthink beforehand it's because

i have set the intention that the

success in this interaction is like me

getting the number close success simply

equals you going up and speaking to us

saying anything you need to do that like

a hundred times first before you can

actually get into the groove and get

used to this then you can start having

the better intellectual attractive

conversations but first we need you to

at least enter those conversations i

could make this video longer and i could

tell you that the best uh sentence is to

say the eye contact body language and

all of that stuff bro but get everything

because that's what's making you

overthink and that's what's stopping you

from actually going out there and at

least starting the initial process i

love my mindset more than everyone

else's i've seen on youtube get into a

hundred conversations even if the

conversation is trashed you've made

progress you've shown up to the gym even

if the workout is trash if you've shown

up as a beginner you're making progress

do not be like that fat 43 year old

susan who's waiting for the new years

because she had one workout of like the

body power class where they do like a

bunch of [ __ ] cardio and like 50 reps

and she never comes to the gym again

because it's too hard because success

equals going to that class in her mind

for you success equals having the best

conversation and too often when i speak

about approaching and going up to speak

to girls a lot of guys will come to

comment about hamsa tell us what to say

tell me what to say hamza if that's what

your mindset is like right now i see you

scrolling down looking for those

comments and also ready to like type one

if no one else don't want if that is

your mindset i have full confidence that

you're not gonna do this because you're

overthinking you're like the guy who

writes a [ __ ] script before he calls

like his local takeaway before you call

someone you've already prepared the

script you don't need to know what to

say because even if you prepare the

script even if you know what to say or

you don't know what to say the first few

conversations are gonna be awkward

they're gonna be trash but the guy who's

prepared the script will overthink so

much more that he'll miss the

opportunity of the first few

interactions whereas the guy who has

like the lean startup like you know hit

the ground running type of mindset he'll

go up and breeze through that progress

forget about everything else literally

just focus on approaching as fast as

possible do the hard work especially

when you don't feel like it