10 Self Help Books That Changed My Life! (here's what I learned...)

Summary

In this insightful video, the speaker shares their personal experiences with self-help books, offering valuable insights and lessons learned. They discuss the importance of setting boundaries, building self-worth and confidence, and adopting a millionaire mindset. The speaker also emphasizes the power of small daily improvements, the impact of subconscious beliefs on wealth, and the significance of understanding one's attachment style for healthier relationships. With a focus on self-development and healing, the video provides a concise guide to personal growth through literature.

Takeaways

• 📚 The book 'The Book of Boundaries' by Melissa Urban is recommended for learning to stand up for oneself and setting boundaries in various relationships.
• 💪 'Why Men Love Bitches' is a life-changing book that teaches self-respect and how to expect others to treat you well, not as a dating guide but as a self-value guide.
• 🌱 'Atomic Habits' emphasizes the '1% rule' for gradual self-improvement, suggesting that small daily improvements are more sustainable and effective than drastic changes.
• 🌟 'You Are a Badass' is a self-development favorite that promotes self-healing and self-discovery, and advises seeking personal growth rather than revenge when wronged.
• 💰 'Secrets of a Millionaire Mind' discusses the importance of a wealthy mindset for building wealth and understanding the energy around money.
• 🚀 'Think and Grow Rich for Women' offers updated advice and stories for women looking to build wealth and success, focusing on the energy of money.
• 💵 'You Are a Badass at Making Money' is not recommended as highly as other books mentioned, as it is more of an introduction to the concept of wealth and mindset.
• ❤️ Understanding attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, secure) is crucial for balancing relationships and personal well-being.
• 🧠 'You Can Heal Your Life' and 'The Body Keeps the Score' explore the connection between emotional trauma, physical pain, and the importance of healing.
• 🌈 The speaker encourages following them on social media for more insights and support on personal development and self-help topics.

Q & A

What is the main focus of 'The Book of Boundaries' by Melissa Urban?

The main focus of 'The Book of Boundaries' is to teach readers how to stand up for themselves, set limits, and establish boundaries in various areas of life such as the workplace, relationships, friendships, and with neighbors.

What is the key takeaway from 'Why Men Love Bitches' that the speaker found life-changing?

The key takeaway from 'Why Men Love Bitches' is the importance of holding oneself with high value, respecting oneself, and showing others how to treat you by being someone who knows what she wants and is not afraid to walk away when not treated well.

What is the '1% rule' mentioned in 'Atomic Habits'?

The '1% rule' in 'Atomic Habits' suggests that individuals should strive to be 1% better every day, showing up as a slightly improved version of themselves, which is more sustainable and effective for long-term change.

How does 'You Are a Badass Every Day' help with self-sabotage and self-discovery?

'You Are a Badass Every Day' helps with self-sabotage and self-discovery by providing insights into the ego, intuition, subconscious mind, and understanding what self-sabotage looks like, encouraging personal growth and self-improvement.

What is the significance of a 'financial thermostat' as discussed in 'Secrets of a Millionaire Mind'?

The 'financial thermostat' in 'Secrets of a Millionaire Mind' refers to the internal setting of what one feels they are worthy of having in terms of money. It influences one's spending, saving, and earning habits.

Why does the speaker recommend 'Think and Grow Rich for Women' for women in business or those looking to build wealth?

The speaker recommends 'Think and Grow Rich for Women' because it provides stories of successful women, updated advice, and perspectives on the energy of money, which can be beneficial for women in business or those looking to build wealth.

What is the main theme of 'You Are a Badass at Making Money'?

The main theme of 'You Are a Badass at Making Money' is understanding the energy around money and wealth, and developing a mindset that is conducive to financial success and independence.

What is the concept of 'attachment styles' as discussed in the script?

The concept of 'attachment styles' refers to the different ways individuals relate to others in terms of love and closeness, including anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment styles, which can impact relationships and personal well-being.

How does 'You Can Heal Your Life' relate to the body's response to trauma and emotions?

'You Can Heal Your Life' discusses how the body holds onto trauma and emotions, which can manifest as physical pain, and provides insights into understanding and addressing these manifestations for healing.

What advice does the speaker give for those who have experienced hardship and have emotional pain?

The speaker suggests reading 'You Can Heal Your Life', 'The Body Keeps the Score', and 'The Body's Wisdom' as a trifecta of books that can help understand and address emotional pain and its physical manifestations due to past hardships.

Outlines

00:00

📚 Self-Help Book Reviews and Life Lessons

The speaker shares their experiences with various self-help books over the past year and a half, focusing on the lessons learned and their value. They discuss 'The Book of Boundaries' by Melissa Urban, highlighting its usefulness for setting personal limits and boundaries in different aspects of life. 'Why Men Love Bitches' is mentioned as a life-changing book that teaches self-respect and how to command respect from others. 'Atomic Habits' is praised for its 1% rule, encouraging daily incremental improvements. 'This New Version of You' is recommended for self-healing and self-discovery, while 'The Secrets of a Millionaire Mind' is suggested for building wealth and a wealthy mindset. 'Think and Grow Rich for Women' is noted for its stories of women who have built wealth, but the speaker suggests other books might be better. The speaker also mentions 'You Are a Badass at Making Money' as a good introduction to the energy around money and wealth.

05:01

💞 Understanding Attachment Styles in Relationships

The speaker delves into the concept of attachment styles, explaining the differences between anxious, avoidant, and secure attachments. Anxious individuals are described as being preoccupied with relationships and seeking reassurance, while avoidant individuals equate closeness with a loss of independence. Secure individuals are portrayed as comfortable with love and security, providing warmth and reassurance. The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding one's own attachment style and how it can affect relationships. 'You Can Heal Your Life' is mentioned as a book that explores how the body holds onto trauma and emotions, which can manifest as physical pain. The speaker suggests that understanding these connections can be beneficial for those who have experienced emotional turmoil.

Keywords

💡Self-help books

Self-help books are a genre of literature focused on personal development, providing guidance and strategies for improving one's life. In the video, the speaker reviews various self-help books, discussing their impact on personal growth and whether they are worth reading. This concept is central to the video's theme of self-improvement and learning life lessons without necessarily experiencing the struggles firsthand.

💡Boundaries

Boundaries refer to the limits we set in relationships to protect our well-being. The book 'The Book of Boundaries' by Melissa Urban is highlighted as a guide for setting personal limits in various contexts. The concept is integral to the video's message of self-respect and learning to stand up for oneself, as exemplified by the speaker's discussion of workplace and personal relationships.

💡Confidence

Confidence is a belief in one's abilities and self-worth. The video emphasizes the importance of confidence, particularly in the context of the book 'Why Men Love Bitches', which the speaker views as a guide to holding oneself with high value and respecting oneself. This keyword is closely tied to the video's theme of personal empowerment.

💡Atomic Habits

Atomic Habits is a book by James Clear that promotes the idea of incremental self-improvement, encapsulated by the '1% rule'. The video mentions this book as a favorite, highlighting the lesson of becoming 1% better every day. This concept is a key component of the video's narrative on sustainable self-development.

💡Healing

Healing, in the context of the video, refers to the process of emotional and psychological recovery, often from past traumas or negative experiences. The book 'You Are a Badass Every Day' is recommended for those in a 'healing era', suggesting that self-help books can aid in the journey of self-discovery and emotional well-being.

💡Wealth mindset

A wealth mindset is a financial attitude that focuses on accumulating wealth and prosperity. The video discusses 'The Secrets of a Millionaire Mind' as a book that helps in building this mindset. The concept is used to illustrate the importance of one's relationship with money and how it affects wealth accumulation.

💡Financial thermostat

The financial thermostat is a metaphor used in 'The Secrets of a Millionaire Mind' to describe an individual's internal sense of their worth in terms of money. The video explains that this 'thermostat' can be set towards spending, saving, or earning, indicating how one's perception of their financial worth can influence their wealth.

💡Attachment styles

Attachment styles refer to the patterns of behavior that individuals develop in relationships, typically categorized as anxious, avoidant, or secure. The video discusses how understanding one's attachment style can impact relationship dynamics, with the goal of achieving a balance that fosters healthy connections.

💡Self-sabotage

Self-sabotage is the act of unconsciously undermining one's own goals or well-being. The video mentions this concept in relation to understanding oneself better, suggesting that self-help books can provide insights into behaviors that may be hindering personal growth.

💡Glow up

A 'glow up' is a personal transformation that results in an improved sense of self, often not visible to others but felt internally. The video uses this term to encourage positive self-development as a response to negative experiences, rather than seeking revenge or external validation.

💡Trauma

Trauma refers to deeply distressing or disturbing experiences that can have lasting emotional effects. The video discusses how trauma can be held in the body, leading to physical manifestations of emotional pain. The book 'You Can Heal Your Life' is mentioned as a resource for understanding and addressing these issues.

Highlights

The Book of Boundaries by Melissa Urban teaches how to stand up for oneself and set boundaries in various relationships.

Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov is a life-changing book that emphasizes self-respect and setting personal standards.

Atomic Habits by James Clear introduces the 1% rule for incremental self-improvement.

The New Jim by Jim Kwik is recommended for those in their 'healing' phase, offering insights into self-discovery and overcoming self-sabotage.

The Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker discusses building a wealthy mindset and understanding the energy around money.

Think and Grow Rich for Women by Sharon Lechter updates the classic with stories of female founders and wealth-building.

You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero is not recommended; better alternatives are suggested for understanding money energy and mindset.

Attachment styles in relationships are discussed, with anxious, avoidant, and secure styles impacting how individuals seek reassurance and closeness.

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay explores how the body retains emotional trauma that can manifest as physical pain.

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk delves into the connection between trauma, emotion, and physical manifestations.

The importance of understanding one's attachment style for personal growth and relationship balance is emphasized.

The concept of a 'glow up' is introduced as a form of self-improvement that may not always be externally visible but is significant for personal well-being.

The transcript suggests that seeking revenge is less beneficial than focusing on personal growth and 'glow up' after being wronged.

The role of the subconscious mind in shaping everyday life, including financial decisions and relationships, is highlighted.

The transcript recommends subscribing for more insights and following the speaker on social media for additional content.

Transcripts

so I read all these self-help books in

the last year and a half and I'm going

to let you know if they're worth it and

the lessons I learned from them so you

don't have to read them and make sure to

subscribe down below gives me a thumbs

up and let's get started the first book

is the book of boundaries by Melissa

Urban this book is great if you want to

learn how to stand up for yourself how

to set a limit how to set a boundary

whether it's in the workplace

relationship a friendship a neighbor

it's basically a good guide on what to

do when you don't know what to do the

majority of this book is basically just

templates of things to say and how to

say boundary now do I think this is an

essential book yes if you're just very

new into learning when to draw a line

and walk away but if you already know

how to do that you don't need to read

this why men love

this is tabbed this book was one

of the books that changed my life in

terms of sense of myself confidence yes

this is a dating book but I don't view

it as that I view this as a book of

holding yourself with high value how to

respect yourself and show other people

how to treat you and there's this

concept in this book between the nice

girl aka the dmat and the the girl

who knows what she wants the is

someone who is not afraid to walk away

when she's not being treated nice she's

not whiny she's not begging for someone

to treat her right she knows who she is

she knows what she's worth and if you

are not treating her right she's going

to walk away but the nice girl that

dorat will people please will make

excuses for someone's poor actions will

constantly try to beg someone to be

there in her life because she doesn't

know how to be on her own so this is

great Atomic habits this is I think a

self-development book favorite I think

you have all seen this book heard of

this book every time I go into the

bookstore I just see this everywhere the

number one lesson I've learned from this

book which I talk about in my Tik toks

all the time and I've talked about on my

podcast is called the 1% rule meaning

you be better by 1% every day you show

up as your higher self by 1% % every day

this new version of You by 1% every day

because I feel like if you go to bed

tonight and tomorrow you show up as this

higher version of yourself by 100% it's

not sustainable first of all and you're

going to get imposture syndone you're

going to be like this is not me this is

not how I show up so if you just show up

by 1% which is so easy so doable over

time the trajectory of your life will

change the mountain as you I cannot

recommend this book enough if you are in

your healing girl era if you want to

have a better understanding within

yourself this book is phenomenal the

author has a bunch of other books

however this is the only one that I

recommend from her it's a short easy

read such a good introduction into

self-development self-healing

self-discovery when are you

self-sabotaging and what does that look

like your ego your intuition your

subconscious mind even and one thing I

took away from this book is that when

someone does us wrong don't seek out

revenge seek out a glow up within you

best types of glow up is when you feel

good in yourself and sometimes a glowup

is not something someone else can see

and that's okay because that is for you

the secrets of a Millionaire Mind this

is for all of girls that want to build

wealth and build a wealthy mindset as

you follow me on my channel and my

podcast glowing from within which you

should be listening to it you know I

talk about how our subconscious mind

plays a huge role in our everyday life

in the money we earn in our friendships

and our relationships and our

self-concept and our confidence our

brain is so powerful and when we want to

accumulate wealth we have to have a

wealthy money mindset and one of the

lessons I love in this book is it's

talking about how we kind of have a

financial thermostat right we have a

thermostat of what we feel worthy of

having is your financial thermostat set

towards spending saving earning this

whole book is understanding the energy

around money because money is an energy

and I highly recommend this it's a short

book so yes read this because it is so

small I flew through this so quickly

Think and Grow Rich for women um I read

this on my Kindle this is the same book

as thinking Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

however it's updated and more for women

and it's by Sharon lecher there's so

many stories in here from women Founders

and women who you know took a chance on

themselves and and creating their dream

life so if you're a woman in business or

you're starting a side hustle or you're

wanting to just build wealth within

yourself this is great because again

this talks about the energies of money

and the way that you view Money the way

you receive money you are a badass and

you are badass making money this was the

very first self-help book I've read

along with why men love and this

one is all about money I don't recommend

this one um I think these two books I

recommended in this video are much

better this is kind of like an

introduction into the energy around

money and wealth and your mindset and

this one is a good book again it's a

good introduction into self-development

into knowing yourself however I think

this book that I recommend is better

than this one so do I recommend these

yes if you're just getting started into

reading self-development but I feel like

over time there are a lot better books

attached we have an attachment style

whether you're an anxious attachment an

avoidant or secure so anxious people

right often are preoccupied with the

relationship and tend to worry about

their partner's ability to love them

back right they're anxious about the

relationship they need more reassurance

avoidance equate love and closeness with

loss of Independence right and

constantly trying to minimize closeness

and the thing is is a lot of anxious

people and a lot of avoidant people are

in relationships and it's this constant

pull and back of a cycle that you don't

want to be in and secure people are

people who feel comfortable with love

and security and they're warm and loving

and these are the types of people that

are really good for anxious people

because an anxious person wants

reassurance wants that love and the

secure person is able to give it because

they know that showing love does not

mean you're losing your freedom I think

there's nothing wrong with all three

attachments I think it's just knowing

what you are and what kind of

relationships you need in your life to

balance that out is what is key this

book is called you can heal your life

this kind of goes along with this book

um the body keeps a score our body holds

on to trauma it holds on to emotion and

ultimately that can manifest in physical

pain this book talks about in great

detail this one talks about in like you

know what area do you feel pain and then

what that means and it is really

fascinating to read if you have gone

through some hard stuff and you have AEM

Motion in your body these are great

along with the mountains youth that's

like a trifecta that I love so those are

all the books I read make sure to follow

me on Instagram and Tik Tok at w INSP Co

Victoria and follow this YouTube channel

because it helps me out so much and I

will see you guys in next video bye guys

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