How to *actually* MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS (and stop reacting)

Summary

In this video, Jills discusses the importance of emotional mastery for women to step into their power. She emphasizes the need for self-awareness, allowing oneself to feel emotions, and understanding triggers to avoid being a slave to emotions. Jills also highlights the difference between emotions and reactions, encouraging viewers to separate the two for better control over their lives.

Takeaways

• 👑 Emotional Mastery is about being in control of your emotions, not suppressing them. It means you are the driver of how emotions influence your behavior and life.
• 🧠 Self-awareness is crucial for emotional intelligence and is the foundation for mastering your emotions. It helps you recognize and understand your own emotions, behavior, and thoughts.
• 🔍 Developing self-awareness involves being a curious observer of your life without judgment, allowing you to identify patterns and triggers that affect your emotions.
• 💔 Allowing yourself to feel emotions is essential for emotional mastery. Suppressing emotions can lead to an overflow and loss of control, whereas acknowledging them helps in processing and healing.
• 🏠 Self-regulation is key to managing emotions. It involves giving yourself space and time to feel emotions appropriately, not necessarily expressing them in every situation.
• 🔥 Triggers are situations or comments that spark immediate emotional reactions, often linked to deeper, unhealed wounds. Recognizing and understanding these triggers is vital for emotional growth.
• 🌱 Healing core wounds is necessary to reduce the power of triggers. Unaddressed emotional wounds can control your reactions and emotions, preventing true emotional mastery.
• 🤔 Separating feelings from reactions is important for emotional mastery. While you can't control your emotions, you can control how you react to them, which is a choice.
• 🕊️ The 'Let Them' theory encourages healthy detachment by allowing others to be themselves and accepting situations beyond your control, leading to less emotional reactivity.
• 🌟 Practicing emotional mastery involves recognizing triggers, healing emotional wounds, and consciously controlling reactions to maintain peace and power in your life.

Q & A

What is the main focus of the video by Jills?

The video focuses on the concept of emotional mastery, teaching viewers how to manage their emotions to transition from a chaotic reactive state to an unbothered Queen energy.

What does Jills suggest is the first step towards mastering emotions?

Jills suggests that the first step towards emotional mastery is developing self-awareness, which is the foundation of emotional intelligence and crucial for understanding one's own emotions, behavior, and thoughts.

Why is it important to allow oneself to feel emotions according to the video?

Allowing oneself to feel emotions is important because it helps prevent emotions from building up to an unmanageable level, which can lead to explosive reactions. It also helps in processing emotions and not being controlled by them.

What is the role of self-regulation in emotional mastery?

Self-regulation plays a key role in emotional mastery by enabling individuals to honor their emotions and not let them build up to uncontrollable levels. It involves giving oneself the space to feel emotions appropriately and taking ownership of them.

How does Jills define a 'trigger' in the context of emotions?

In the context of emotions, a 'trigger' is defined as something that sparks an immediate emotional reaction, usually a negative one. It is something that causes an intense response due to a connection with a deeper, unhealed wound or core belief.

What is the significance of understanding one's triggers according to the video?

Understanding one's triggers is significant because it reveals what is still unhealed and what one is still controlled by. It helps in identifying the core wounds that need healing to achieve emotional mastery.

How does the video suggest dealing with emotions that are overwhelming?

The video suggests dealing with overwhelming emotions by allowing oneself to feel them in an appropriate setting, such as crying, hitting a pillow, or talking to a trusted person. This helps in processing the emotions and taking control over them.

What is the role of BetterHelp as mentioned in the video?

BetterHelp is an online therapy platform mentioned in the video that connects individuals to licensed therapists. It offers services over the phone, video chat, or messaging, providing a convenient way to seek support for emotional healing.

What does Jills mean by 'let them theory' in the context of emotional reactions?

The 'let them theory' refers to a practice of healthy detachment where one allows people to be who they are without trying to control them. It helps in reducing emotional reactivity and achieving peace by accepting the reality of situations beyond one's control.

How can one practice emotional self-mastery according to the video?

One can practice emotional self-mastery by developing self-awareness, allowing oneself to feel and express emotions appropriately, understanding and healing core wounds, identifying triggers, and practicing healthy detachment by not forcing outcomes or controlling others.

What is the final message of the video regarding the relationship between peace and power?

The final message of the video is that peace is power. It suggests that by letting go of the need to control everything and everyone, and by accepting situations as they are, one can achieve a sense of peace which in turn is a form of true power.

Outlines

00:00

👑 Mastering Emotions for Personal Power

The video script begins with an introduction to the concept of transitioning from a chaotic, reactive state to an 'Unbothered Queen' energy. The speaker, Jill, emphasizes the importance of emotional mastery for personal empowerment and offers resources for further development. Emotional mastery is clarified as not being emotionless but rather being in control of one's emotions to prevent them from dictating behavior. The foundation of this mastery is self-awareness, which is key to emotional intelligence. The speaker warns against living life on autopilot, highlighting the dangers of a lack of self-awareness and its potential to limit one's life experiences. The audience is encouraged to observe their emotions without judgment, as a step towards breaking free from emotional enslavement.

05:02

💭 The Importance of Feeling and Expressing Emotions

In this paragraph, Jill discusses the necessity of not only recognizing but also feeling and expressing one's emotions as part of emotional mastery. She points out that suppressing emotions can lead to a buildup that may result in explosive reactions. The speaker suggests finding appropriate ways to express emotions, such as physical activity or talking to a trusted person, as a means of taking ownership and preventing emotions from controlling one's life. Jill also shares her personal experience with emotional avoidance and how allowing oneself to feel emotions can lead to greater stability and security. The paragraph concludes with a promotion for BetterHelp, an online therapy platform, as a resource for those seeking support in their emotional journey.

10:03

🔍 Understanding Emotional Triggers and Healing

The speaker delves into the concept of emotional triggers, explaining that they are situations or comments that elicit immediate and often negative emotional reactions. These triggers are linked to deeper, unhealed wounds or past traumas, which, when activated, can cause intense and sometimes disproportionate reactions. Jill provides an example involving a woman's reaction to her partner's comment about eating ice cream, which triggers memories of past body shaming and feelings of inadequacy. The speaker stresses that recognizing and healing these core wounds is essential for emotional mastery, as it allows individuals to respond to triggers in a healthier manner rather than being controlled by them.

15:05

🤯 Separating Emotions from Reactions for Stoic Presence

In the final paragraph, Jill discusses the distinction between emotions and reactions, highlighting that while emotions are involuntary, reactions are a matter of choice. She advises that emotions are temporary, but the reactions to them can have lasting consequences. The speaker encourages taking a pause before reacting impulsively, especially when in doubt about the appropriate response. She also introduces the 'let them' theory, which is about practicing healthy detachment and allowing people to be who they are without trying to control them. This approach is presented as a way to achieve peace and true control, as well as to reveal people's true nature, ultimately empowering the individual to make informed choices about their relationships and life direction.

Keywords

💡Emotional Mastery

Emotional Mastery refers to the ability to manage and control one's emotions effectively. It is not about being devoid of emotions but rather about being in control of how emotions are experienced and how they influence behavior. In the video, the concept is central to the idea of stepping into one's power and becoming an 'unbothered Queen.' The speaker emphasizes that emotional mastery is crucial for not being a slave to emotions and maintaining control over one's life.

💡Self-awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand one's own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. It is described in the video as the foundation of emotional intelligence and a powerful tool for personal growth. The speaker uses the example of living life on autopilot to illustrate the lack of self-awareness, which can lead to being controlled by emotions rather than controlling them.

💡Reactive

Reactive behavior is characterized by an immediate response to stimuli without thoughtful consideration. In the context of the video, being reactive is seen as a sign of being controlled by emotions. The speaker contrasts this with the goal of being proactive and in control, which is part of mastering one's emotions.

💡Emotions

Emotions are the feelings and affective states that individuals experience. The video discusses the importance of acknowledging and experiencing emotions as part of emotional mastery. It is emphasized that emotions are not irrational or a sign of weakness, but rather a form of communication from the subconscious mind.

💡Stoic

Stoicism is a philosophy that emphasizes the control of emotions and the pursuit of tranquility. In the video, the concept is related to the idea of being less reactive and more in control of one's emotions. The speaker suggests that mastering emotions involves being stoic and not allowing emotions to dictate behavior.

💡Triggers

Triggers are stimuli that provoke an emotional response, often linked to deeper, unresolved issues. The video explains that triggers can reveal core wounds that need healing. An example given is a comment about eating ice cream that triggers feelings of insecurity and past experiences of being criticized for one's weight.

💡Core Wound

A core wound is a deep-seated emotional injury that has not been healed. In the video, core wounds are linked to triggers and are seen as the underlying cause of intense emotional reactions. The speaker suggests that healing these wounds is essential for emotional mastery.

💡Self-regulation

Self-regulation is the ability to control one's emotions and behavior. The video discusses self-regulation in the context of managing emotions before they become overwhelming. It is presented as a key component of emotional mastery, allowing individuals to stay in control and not be overwhelmed by their emotions.

💡Reactions

Reactions are the responses to stimuli, often emotional in nature. The video differentiates between emotions and reactions, emphasizing that while emotions are internal states, reactions are behaviors that can be controlled. The speaker advises controlling reactions to maintain power over one's life.

💡Let Them Theory

The Let Them Theory, as mentioned in the video, is a concept that encourages letting go of the need to control others and accepting their actions. It is presented as a way to reduce emotional reactivity and achieve peace. The speaker uses examples like letting friends go out without you or accepting a partner's decision not to commit, illustrating how this approach can lead to emotional freedom.

Highlights

Emotional Mastery doesn't mean being emotionless; it's about controlling how emotions influence behavior.

Lack of self-awareness can lead to being a slave to emotions and reactions, damaging relationships and power.

Self-awareness is fundamental to emotional intelligence and taking control of one's life.

Many people live life on autopilot, controlled by emotions rather than self-regulating them.

Self-awareness helps understand emotions and reactions, preventing being stuck in old patterns.

Becoming the master of emotions involves allowing oneself to genuinely feel and express them.

Suppressing emotions ignores messages from the subconscious mind and can hinder healing.

Appropriate expression of emotions in suitable situations is part of emotional self-mastery.

Crying, physical release, or talking to a trusted person are ways to process emotions.

BetterHelp is an online therapy platform that can support emotional processing from home.

Emotional self-mastery involves understanding and learning from emotions, not just suppressing them.

Wallowing in emotions versus healthy expression is a crucial distinction for emotional health.

Triggers indicate core wounds that need healing and can lead to intense emotional reactions.

Healing core wounds reduces the power of triggers and leads to emotional stability.

Anger is often a secondary emotion covering more vulnerable feelings like sadness or fear.

Close relationships can trigger strong emotions due to deep-seated desires for love and acceptance.

The 'Let Them' theory by Mel Robbins encourages healthy detachment and reduces emotional reactivity.

Allowing people to be themselves without trying to control them can lead to peace and true control.

Reacting impulsively often doesn't lead to desirable outcomes; taking time to respond can be powerful.

Transcripts

if you want to go from chaotic reactive

energy to unbothered Queen energy you

must learn to master your emotions and

you will never fully be in the power

seat of your life until you can master

your

emotions hey friends welcome back if

you're new here my name is jills and I

help women step into their power tap

into their divine feminine and become

their best self so if that's something

you want to do you should subscribe and

stick around and in case you want more

from me you can also check out my awaken

your feminine energy course or of my

other digital downloads like my notion

template my workbooks Etc and they're

all linked down below so in this video

I'm going to break down exactly how to

master your emotions what it even means

to master your emotions how to stop

reacting and why it all matters so let's

get one thing straight emotional Mastery

does not mean that you are emotionless

it doesn't mean that you need to shut

down everything that you feel and in

fact that's the opposite of what you

want emotional Mastery simply means that

you are in the driver's seat of how

those emotions are experienced and the

role they play in your life and the

impact they have in your behavior and if

you don't have this you will always be a

slave to your emotions and your triggers

you will always be reacting you can lose

respect from people it can damage your

relationships and it will strip you of

your power so if you want to be the

master of your emotions then there is

one very important thing that you need

and that is self-awareness

self-awareness is hands down what are

the most powerful things that you can

have to level up your life and become

your best self and self-awareness is the

foundation of emotional intelligence

think about it if you cannot recognize

and understand your own emotions your

own behavior your own thoughts how can

you ever get in the driver seat of your

life so many people unfortunately live

their life completely in autopilot they

are not in control of their emotions and

their life and instead their emotions

control them their emotions dictate

their behavior and they're just so busy

and so caught up and you know the

everyday hustle and bustle of life and

their to-dos that they completely lose

that connection with themselves and it

may sound harmless but in my personal

opinion a lack of self-awareness is

actually one of the most damaging and

limiting traits that you can have and it

will hold you back in every area of your

life not being able to take a step back

and be like why do I feel this way why

am I reacting this way why did I just

freak out like that and why did I just

blow up like that why do I seem to get

stuck in this same old pattern why am I

the way that I am why is this emotion

coming up how does that past stressful

traumatic relationship still impacting

me today now if you chose to watch this

video and this is a topic that you're

interested in then you probably have at

least a decent amount of self-awareness

and self-connection there but one way to

improve this and think about it is like

just allowing yourself to be the Curious

Observer of your life not judging

yourself not criticizing yourself just

curiously observing yourself your life

your emotions your Behavior you will

never master your emotions until you can

first get comfy observing yourself

because if you're never aware of the

emotions the feelings the reactions that

are holding you back then you will never

break free from them okay so let's talk

about emotions though because being the

master of your emotions does not mean

that you never feel them here's the

thing it might seem a little bit ironic

but in order to master your emotions you

have to let yourself feel your emotions

and it's often times the people who are

most disconnected from their emotions

and their feelings who end up being

controlled by their emotions and who end

up being the most reactive like you know

the person that just kind of like snaps

or yells out of nowhere they have become

so disconnected from their emotions

their feelings their inner world that

they keep pushing those feelings under

the rug pushing them under the rug

pushing them under the rug until

eventually one day that level of emotion

reaches a certain point where it becomes

so hard to manage and so they explode

and they become controlled by it because

we become controlled by our emotions

when it reaches a certain level or

threshold whereas if they allowed

themselves to feel those emotions as

they come up it wouldn't have reached

that overflow point and they wouldn't

have been as controlled by them when it

comes to self-regulation and being more

stoic and being less reactive you need

to honor those emotions you feel before

they build up to a level where you

cannot control them emotions are not

irrational emotions are not weakness

emotions are the subconscious mind

communicating with us when you push down

and ignore your emotions you're ignoring

messages from the deeper parts of

yourself you're ignoring Sensations that

the body needs to experience and feel in

order to move on and heal so the next

step toward emotional self-mastery after

developing self-awareness is letting

yourself feel those emotions when you're

in an appropriate place to do so a job

interview is probably not the best time

to have a breakdown about your recent

breakup your big grad school

presentation is probably not the best

time to snap at your professor your

kids's fifth birthday party is probably

not the best time to cry about how

stressed you are but this is why

self-awareness is so important when you

notice you have those emotions you can't

always fully Express them and let them

out in the moment you know depending on

the situation it's not always

appropriate and that is a part of

emotional self-mastery but you do need

to let yourself feel them you do need to

give yourself the space to feel them

feeling them is how your body processes

them not just intellectualizing them and

thinking about your feelings but

actually feeling your feelings and there

is the difference crying hitting a

pillow you know shaking your whole body

or taking yourself to the gym so you can

release them there or talking to a

person you trust this is how you take

ownership of your emotions and stay in

control so they don't end up controlling

you when I was younger I was a lot more

reactive of a person because I didn't

really allow myself to feel my emotions

and connect with what was going on I was

more of an avoidant attachment type of

person and whether this is actually true

or not I didn't really feel like I had

anyone that I could talk to and I know

that if I did have someone to talk to

and I just actually felt those emotions

instead of suppressing them I would have

been a lot more stable and secure as a

person and that is where better help

comes in who is kindly sponsoring this

video betterhelp is an online therapy

platform that connects you virtually to

a licensed therapist what I love about

better help is that you can do it

completely over the phone or the

computer so you can do it either over

video chat or a phone call or even just

messaging it's totally up to you it's so

easy to sign up just go to my link

betterhelp.com jills you'll answer a

quick questionnaire and they'll match

you with a professional usually within

48 Hours let betterhelp connect you to a

therapist who can support you all from

the comfort of your own home visit

betterhelp.com jills or just choose

Jill's Garen during sign up and receive

a discount on your first month so thank

you better help and now let's get back

into it everyone has emotions everyone

deals with emotions it's what makes us

human for emotional self-mastery you

need to let yourself feel them Express

them and observe them get curious about

them what are those emotions saying to

you what can you learn from them what

are they trying to communicate or maybe

what needs to be released now I want to

make a quick point about this though as

crucial as it is to feel your feelings

there is a point you can cross and only

you will know where that point is where

you are no longer healthily expressing

your feelings and instead you are just

sitting in them you are wallowing in

them you are being victim to them and

you're continuing to recreate that

difficult emotional experience for

yourself over and over again right like

there's an important difference between

feeling your feelings and just wallowing

in them and perpetuating them my best

advice for this is when you need to

express an emotion you will usually feel

it in your body maybe you'll feel a

heaviness in your chest or a lump in

your throat or like an anger that's like

rising up inside you in your body but

when you're choosing to stay stuck in it

and wallow in it you tend to feel it

more in your mind you're not necessarily

feeling it anymore you're thinking about

it you're ruminating on it and what

you're accidentally doing is you are

continuing to perpetuate that negative

feeling so self-awareness and allowing

yourself to actually feel your emotions

those are the first two steps in my

opinion for emotional self-mastery but

it's not everything so let's dive in a

little bit deeper and let's dive into

your triggers almost everyone has what

we call triggers and how you react to

them will tell yourself and everyone

else around you how how in control you

are of yourself your life your emotions

and this is what will differentiate the

chaotic reactive crazy person from the

calm cool confident unbothered person so

a trigger is when something happens or

when someone says something that Sparks

an immediate emotional reaction in you

usually a negative one and that thing

that triggered you it might not feel

like a very big deal to anyone else but

to you it feels like an immediate big

deal to you you get an immediate

emotional reaction from it so here is

just like a madeup example that we're

going to use to help understand this and

break it down so let's say that you and

your partner just had dinner at home and

you're craving dessert so you open up

the freezer and you grab like that big

carton of chocolate ice cream and your

boyfriend goes are you sure you want to

eat that and you immediately get angry

you immediately react you start yelling

that you can eat whatever you want now

the reason he said that is because you

ate that same chocolate ice cream last

night and you complained for 2 hours

about how much it made your stomach hurt

and you know that but regardless what he

said triggered you you impulsively

reacted it was almost like your body

took over in that moment the reason

these triggers can have so much power

over us and cause us to react so

intensely is because they trigger a core

wound within us and the reason you got

so angry about the ice cream is not

necessarily because of what he said but

because it triggered one of your core

wounds that has not yet been healed it

triggered those memories in your

subconscious mind about how in high

school your mom would always be talking

to you about your weight and how you

should probably lose a few pounds and

how you probably shouldn't eat that it's

too many calories and how when she was

your age she weighed much less than you

you felt like you were never good enough

for her you felt like she tried to

control the things that you ate and the

way that you looked growing up she made

you feel insecure about your body and

yourself so when your boyfriend lovingly

said are you sure you want to eat that

because he knows that it's going to give

you quite the tummy ache those past

emotions and feelings from your

childhood instantly came up but not

necessarily in your conscious mind

though but in your subconscious mind and

in your body I'm going to tell you

something that is so simple but so

important and if it's the only thing

that you take away from this video

that's fine your triggers tell you what

it is you still need to heal I'm going

to say that one more time your triggers

tell you what is still unhealed and what

you are still controlled by and often

times they do go back to Childhood

beliefs and old childhood wounds they

don't have to but this is why that

self-awareness piece is so important

most of us have at least one core wound

usually stemming from childhood that if

left unhealed you will keep continuing

to feel that pain over and over again

and you will continue to be controlled

by that pain over and over again and it

will control your emotions your life

your behavior and your reactions like

for example your core wound might be I

never feel good enough I don't feel

lovable enough I don't want to feel

rejected again I don't want to be

abandoned again or maybe your core wound

is that you never truly felt hurt

another example if your boyfriend's said

that he was going to call you on his

lunch break and when he was at work when

it was his lunchtime he didn't call you

and you flip out you freak out you start

spam texting him and spam calling him

and just getting so angry and it just

elicited this like immediate intense

emotional reaction in you now your

boyfriend got invited to go on this

really really important work meeting

that was like a lunch work meeting and

so he just didn't have the ability to

call you but you got so reactive and

angry because deep down you still have a

wound there around feeling rejected or

around feeling abandoned this is why

people who lack self-awareness and lack

emotional intelligence get completely

knocked out by their triggers when you

heal the core wound those triggers no

longer have control over you but until

then that person that thing that

situation will always be the one in the

driver's seat not you and you will never

fully be able to master your emotions

until you are able to notice the

reaction identify the connection to a

deeper wound there and heal and release

it so you will know if it's a true

trigger if you react really impulsively

to something and feel like that feeling

kind of takes you over and often times

that feeling is anger it doesn't have to

be but a lot of times that trigger

elicits anger but here's the thing with

anger anger is usually a secondary

emotion think of it as like the tip of

the iceberg it's kind of like the tough

Shield that we put on and that we Show

the World to hide those more vulnerable

emotions underneath like if you really

think about it underneath that anger is

usually a heavier or more vulnerable

emotion like sadness or fear like in the

ice cream example that comment really

triggers her and she immediately gets

angry but underneath that anger is

something deeper it's probably a sort of

sadness or fear or rejection around not

feeling good enough as she is or maybe a

deeper feeling of insecurity and you

might notice that it's often times the

people that we are closest to that can

actually trigger us the most you know

like think about your family and your

parents or your partner or maybe your

very best friend who you've known since

third grade and that's because these are

the people who We crave love acceptance

approval validation from the most right

like some random person on the internet

can say something mean about me or write

something mean in the comments and it's

kind of like eh you know whatever but if

my husband were to say that exact same

thing it would be like knife to the

chest so the point I'm trying to make is

that when you get triggered it's not

necessarily the situation per se that's

triggering you but instead those

emotions are sred up because your

subconscious mind is remembering and

reacting to the original trauma that you

once experienced so again I know I'm

repeating myself here but you become

controlled by your emotions when you

refuse to look at them when you refuse

to connect to them it's that

disconnection from your emotions and

that disconnection from your Deeper Self

that causes you to be out of control and

that causes you to react the people who

react the most they have a hard time

looking deep within themselves and

there's this quote from the book

unlocking the quantum Woman by shamina

Taylor and I just think it's so funny

and accurate and I highlighted it she

says truth is we all get triggered

sometimes and the only people who think

that they truly have everything under

control are the ones who absolutely

don't so you'll know when you're

starting to truly master your emotions

because you you'll be able to start

identifying those triggers and stop

impulsively reacting to them and

eventually once you heal that deeper

wound those triggers will start to

completely dissipate remember it's not

about suppressing the emotion it's about

being conscious of the emotion so you

can then suppress and control and

maintain power over the reaction and

that brings me to my next point to

really master your emotions and to have

more of that stoic presence you need to

be able to separate your feelings from

your reactions and to not just master

your emotions but to also master your

reactions your emotions are your

emotions you don't really have that much

control over how you feel but your

reactions that is just your behavior for

the most part that is a choice just

because you're experiencing a certain

emotion it doesn't necessarily mean that

you need to have a certain reaction

emotions are neither good or bad but it

is the reaction to our emotions that can

either be good or bad remember that your

emotions are temporary but the decisions

you make and the things that you say are

permanent if you don't know in the

moment how you want to react to

something and you don't want to

accidentally do or say something that

you might regret you can take a pause

you can pause before reacting because

first of all that silence itself can be

quite powerful but also sometimes you

just need 5 Seconds 5 minutes or even a

whole day to sleep on it first and then

respond in the way that you want

reacting out of impulsivity usually

won't get you far and with that said

though every action does not always

deserve a reaction it's not always

necessary you don't always need closure

you don't always need to prove a point

your desire to win will cost you your

peace and your peace is your power

epitus one of the most famous ancient

stoic philosophers said it's not what

happens to you but how you react to it

that matters it's not just about

mastering your emotions it's also about

mastering your reactions and your

emotions and your reactions are not the

same thing and lastly let's talk about

the let them Theory I believe this was

coined by Mel Robbins I'm not totally

sure on that though but it's simple and

I think this is an important thing to

mention in regards to this topic so I'm

just going to play what she has to say

so I've been using this thing called the

let them Theory I love this I want you

to try it here's how it works the next

time you feel left out your friends all

go out to brunch together and they don't

invite you let them or maybe the person

you're dating doesn't want a commitment

let them or perhaps uh your spouse does

not want to do the 5K with you let them

your company is laying people off let

them you spend so much time and energy

trying to control other people and

getting emotionally worked up about

things that are beyond your control you

can tap into peace and true control if

you let them be themselves and here's

the other thing if you let them people

will then reveal who they truly are and

when they reveal who they truly are to

you you you now know what you can choose

next that's right for you so let them

here's the thing when you try to control

everything it can cause you to

emotionally spiral because you can't

control everything it's impossible and

the let them theory is really just

another way to practice healthy

Detachment when you do not force when

you allow people to be who they are when

you embrace the uncertainty of life you

will naturally be less emotionally

reactive to things oh your boyfriend

doesn't want to date you anymore okay

let them leave it's ironic but you will

feel so much more powerful and so much

more in control of your life your mom

thinks that you made the wrong decision

quitting your job okay let her think

that it's the resistance to that that

causes us to suffer and that causes us

to emotionally react and like Mel Robin

said when you let them people will show

who they are and that really is a gift

the more you try to control everyone and

everything the less in control you will

feel and again your desire to win your

desire to always be right your desire to

try to prove a point your desire to

always have things go right your desire

to always be in control will cost you

your peace and your peace is your power

that is it I truly hope that you got

value from this video thank you so much

for sticking around till the very end

and leave a comment down below let me

know your thoughts on this topic I'd

love to know but besides that I will see

you next time in my next video bye