Threesomes: Everything You Need To Know!

Summary

In this episode of the Open Love 101 podcast, hosts John and Jackie delve into the topic of threesomes, sharing their personal experiences and offering guidance on how to navigate the conversation with a partner. They discuss the importance of open communication, setting the stage for such an experience, and ensuring mutual comfort and consent. The hosts emphasize the value of patience, support, and the ability to communicate openly about desires and boundaries to create a positive and empowering experience for all involved.

Takeaways

• 😀 Communication is key: The couple emphasizes the importance of discussing the idea of a threesome openly and honestly from the beginning of their relationship.
• 🏡 Starting from an open platform: The couple's relationship was built on an open platform, which facilitated early and easy discussions about threesomes.
• 🤔 Exploring individually: They initially explored the concept of threesomes separately, which helped them understand their comfort levels without the pressure of their partner's presence.
• 💬 Sharing experiences: After each experience, they communicated about what happened, discussing feelings, likes, and dislikes, which helped in building trust and understanding.
• 🚀 Overcoming hesitation: The script highlights the struggle of setting up the first threesome and the importance of patience and support from the partner.
• 🌟 Embracing authenticity: The experience allowed the individuals to be authentic and celebrate their true selves, which was a transformative moment in their relationship.
• 👫 Respecting each other's comfort: It's crucial to respect each other's comfort levels and be supportive if one partner feels uncomfortable during the experience.
• 🤝 Planning together: The couple stresses the importance of planning the threesome together and agreeing on the details to ensure everyone is on the same page.
• 🔄 Learning from experiences: Whether the experience is positive or negative, it's essential to learn from it and discuss how to improve future encounters.
• 👀 Signaling for support: Establishing a signal with your partner can be helpful in indicating if you need support or want to stop something during the threesome.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the podcast by John and Jackie?

The main topic of the podcast is discussing threesomes and how to ensure all partners have an amazing experience.

How did John and Jackie approach the subject of threesomes in their relationship?

John and Jackie approached the subject of threesomes by having open discussions from the beginning of their relationship, which was formed on an open platform.

What was Jackie's initial experience with threesomes?

Jackie's initial experience with threesomes was playing separately in different states, which allowed her to explore the concept without the pressure of John being in the room.

How did John support Jackie in her journey to explore threesomes?

John supported Jackie by being an advocate, encouraging her to try it out and being patient with her hesitations and fears.

What was the importance of communication in John and Jackie's experience with threesomes?

Communication was crucial as it allowed them to share experiences, discuss feelings, and ensure that both partners were comfortable and supportive of each other's desires and boundaries.

How did Jackie overcome her initial hesitations about having a threesome with John present?

Jackie overcame her hesitations by deciding to take ownership of her desires, pushing past her fears, and realizing the comfort and support John provided during the experience.

What was the impact of the threesome experience on John and Jackie's relationship?

The threesome experience brought them closer, deepening their trust, love, and support for each other, and allowing them to see new aspects of their relationship.

What advice do John and Jackie give for couples considering a threesome?

They advise couples to have open conversations, be patient with each other, set up the experience together, and discuss it constructively afterwards to learn and improve.

How did John and Jackie handle less successful threesome experiences?

They handled less successful experiences by discussing what went wrong, learning from it, and using that knowledge to improve future experiences.

What is the importance of having a safe signal or word in a threesome situation?

A safe signal or word is important for communicating discomfort or the desire to stop an activity, ensuring that all parties feel secure and respected.

How can couples ensure a positive experience for all involved in a threesome?

Couples can ensure a positive experience by being open and honest about their desires and boundaries, communicating effectively, and supporting each other's feelings throughout the experience.

Outlines

00:00

💬 Open Communication in Relationships: Discussing Threesomes

The first paragraph introduces the podcast hosts, John and Jackie from openlove101.com, and their topic of discussion: ensuring a positive experience for all parties involved in a threesome. They share their personal experiences of starting their relationship with an open platform, which facilitated early and open conversations about threesomes. The hosts emphasize the importance of communication, discussing past experiences, and setting the stage for such an encounter. They also touch on the challenges of approaching a partner about the idea of a threesome and the need for patience and understanding in these conversations.

05:02

🌟 Embracing Authenticity and Overcoming Fears in Threesomes

In the second paragraph, the hosts delve deeper into the psychological aspects of exploring threesomes. They discuss societal norms and personal fears that may prevent individuals from expressing their desires openly. The conversation highlights the importance of authenticity and the freedom to explore one's sexuality without judgment. The hosts share their journey of setting up their first threesome, emphasizing the need for patience and support from their partner. They also discuss the transformative experience of overcoming hesitation and embracing the opportunity to explore new aspects of their relationship.

10:03

🚀 Taking the Leap: The Decision to Experience a Threesome

The third paragraph focuses on the decision-making process and the actual experience of having a threesome. The hosts share their personal story of finding the right person, setting up the encounter, and the emotions that came with it. They discuss the importance of owning one's desires and taking responsibility for the experience. The paragraph also highlights the supportive role of their partner in making the experience a positive one, leading to a sense of empowerment and self-affirmation.

15:06

🤝 Post-Experience Reflection and the Strength of Partnership

In the fourth paragraph, the hosts reflect on the aftermath of their threesome experience. They emphasize the importance of open communication after the event, discussing feelings, likes, and dislikes to learn and improve for future experiences. The paragraph also touches on the emotional growth and deepening of their relationship as a result of the experience, highlighting the support and love they felt from each other. The hosts stress the importance of respecting each other's comfort levels and having a safe space to express any discomfort or change of mind during the experience.

20:06

🔄 Learning from Experience: Enhancing Future Threesomes

The fifth and final paragraph wraps up the discussion by emphasizing the learning aspect of each threesome experience. The hosts encourage listeners to share their tips and experiences, and they invite them to subscribe to their email list for updates on future programs and events. They conclude by expressing hope that the insights shared will help listeners have a better understanding and potentially improve their own experiences, whether it's their first threesome or an enhancement of a past one.

Keywords

💡Threesome

A threesome refers to a sexual encounter involving three people. It is central to the video's theme as the hosts discuss their personal experiences and provide advice on how to navigate such an experience. The script mentions the hosts' first threesome and their journey in exploring this aspect of their open relationship.

💡Open Relationship

An open relationship is a type of non-monogamous relationship where both partners agree to have sexual or romantic experiences with others. The concept is foundational to the video, as the hosts, John and Jackie, share their experiences from an open relationship platform and discuss how they communicate and explore their desires.

💡Communication

Communication is the exchange of information, ideas, or feelings. In the context of the video, it is vital for navigating the complexities of an open relationship and ensuring all parties are comfortable and consenting. The hosts emphasize the importance of discussing desires, boundaries, and experiences openly with one's partner.

💡Authenticity

Authenticity refers to the state of being true to one's own personality, spirit, or character. The video highlights the importance of being authentic in a relationship, especially when exploring new experiences like threesomes. Jackie discusses how the support from her partner allowed her to be authentic and explore her desires without fear of judgment.

💡Vulnerability

Vulnerability is the quality of being open to attack or damage, but in a relationship context, it often refers to the willingness to expose one's feelings or true self to another. The script mentions the need for a vulnerable and transparent space when discussing the possibility of a threesome, indicating the importance of trust and openness.

💡Sexual Experience

Sexual experience refers to an individual's history or encounters related to sex. The video emphasizes discussing past sexual experiences as a way to build trust and understanding in a relationship. It is used as a tool for partners to learn more about each other's desires and boundaries.

💡Monogamous Relationship

A monogamous relationship is one in which an individual has a romantic and sexual relationship with only one person at a time. The video contrasts this with an open relationship, discussing the challenges of introducing new experiences like threesomes into a traditionally monogamous dynamic.

💡Patience

Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. In the context of the video, patience is highlighted as a key attribute when navigating the process of setting up and experiencing a threesome, especially when one partner may have doubts or hesitations.

💡Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. The hosts discuss the importance of being empathetic towards a partner's feelings and reactions during and after a threesome, ensuring that both partners feel supported and comfortable throughout the experience.

💡Boundaries

Boundaries refer to the limits or extent of acceptable behavior in a relationship. The video script mentions the need to discuss and respect boundaries when considering a threesome, ensuring that all parties are clear on what is acceptable and what is not.

💡Support

Support in this context means providing encouragement and assistance to someone. The video emphasizes the importance of a partner's support during the process of exploring a threesome, from the initial conversation to the actual experience and debriefing afterwards.

Highlights

Introduction to the podcast by John and Jackie from openlove101.com focusing on threesomes.

Discussion on how to initiate the conversation about having a threesome in a relationship.

The importance of starting the relationship with an open platform for discussing threesomes.

The benefits of playing separately initially in an open relationship.

The role of communication in developing a shared understanding of sexual experiences.

The impact of past relationship experiences on discussing sexual fantasies.

The concept of feeling free to explore sexual desires within a supportive relationship.

The challenge of setting up the first threesome and the patience required.

The emotional journey and transformation experienced during the first threesome.

The value of post-threesome discussions to refine future experiences.

The importance of respecting each other's comfort levels during a threesome.

The role of patience and support in overcoming initial hesitations about threesomes.

The potential for empowerment and self-discovery through engaging in threesomes.

The necessity of being authentic and owning one's desires in a relationship.

The importance of setting boundaries and having a safe word during a threesome.

The learning curve associated with having threesomes and the importance of communication.

The potential for threesomes to deepen the bond and understanding between partners.

Encouragement for listeners to share their own experiences and tips on having threesomes.

Invitation to subscribe to openlove101.com for updates on future programs and events.

Transcripts

if you listen to this podcast towards

the end you'll hear all about Jackie's

first threesome and it's amazing

hey everybody it's John and Jackie of

openlove101.com Welcome to our show we

have a great one today we love talking

about threesomes and we know that you

like hearing about it so we're going to

talk today about how to make sure your

partner has an amazing threesome yeah

and uh I think we should start off with

though how do you even get to that point

uh where's the conversation how do you

bring up a threesome have you guys

talked about doing anything in the past

um are you just are you in a monogamous

relationship and all of a sudden you

decide out of the blue in your mind

let's have a threesome how are you going

to approach that someone with your

partner right

any thoughts on that well I can only

speak from experience so our experiences

we started our relationship from an open

platform from the beginning so having

discussions about threesomes

was so early on in our relationship that

um

it it was actually a part of the

formation of our relationship because it

it was just all at the same time you

know

um and it really was easier for us to

play separately in the beginning yeah

because we were separate in the

different states we were in different

states and me conceptually I had an

easier time

trying that out without the without the

added pressure of you being in the room

I mean I needed to see if it was even a

concept I was okay with on my own yeah

being with somebody else

um and I think again because that was at

the beginning of our relationship

there wasn't

um

there wasn't the investment in the

relationship like it would have been

maybe if we decided to open up the

relationship five or ten years into it

um you know that would have been a

completely different conversation

and it was also what you did for a

living I mean you had swinger clubs so

there was

there was like a sense of safety in it

because it's what you did you had a lot

of experience in it you were really

supportive of me in that journey and so

because it was new to me it was really

great to have this advocate for me

pushing me to do it and try it yeah and

that Advocate was you which was also my

partner so at the very beginning it was

super surreal but it was it was fun and

you know when we when I say we played

separately

we did play in different rooms in

different cities different states

different houses whatever it was but we

always shared about that experience with

our partner afterwards right and that

really helped us develop a communication

and talking about

fool around with other people well and I

guess that would be step one our ability

to discuss it yes like what are we going

to do what does that look like how is

that

first get together going to be

um how do we reassure each other yeah

yeah and it was a conversation about

have you ever thought about doing this

you know tell me about your past sexual

experiences and you know there was a

time in some relationships I had where I

did not want to discuss

my past sexual experiences with with a

new partner because of my experience

with that above doing that and it not

working out very well oh backfiring yes

like they would want to know I would

tell them and then they would say you

know they would

yeah yes yeah so at some point I decided

no more of that yeah but in our

relationship it was different we were

really open and discussed those things

from the very very start our past

relationships with other people right

the relationship in itself but also the

sex you know that that transpired in

that relationship and and it's

interesting that you would say that

because in my past relationships well

specifically the one prior to you and I

connecting

the the person was very jealous and so

to be with you and you were almost not

the opposite but you were like pushing

me to be out there and authentic and try

some things and kind of live and

experience life like you came at me from

such a different angle

I almost didn't know what to do with it

it was almost like I had this sense of

Freedom that I had never had before and

um you know so being able to to try

something

like that I didn't have that the

Hang-Ups about it because you were so

positive about it so it allowed me to be

positive about it and you know it's I

hadn't really thought about this before

I don't ever really talked about this

but

I believe

that anybody you ask out there most

people

have thought about at one time or

another like oh I'd like to make out

with that guy or that girl but they

can't say it because the relationship

that they're in

they would be in fear of how their

partner would react if they said that

you know they would know their partner

would react in a negative way right but

if we all feel that way if that's just a

natural if that's the Natural Way human

beings are

and that that's why I did that's why I

would encourage that it was because I

was trying to

you know push you into doing something

right I just wanted you to know that

if these are natural feelings you're

having or thoughts or desires

with me you can feel free to do that

and I'm gonna love you anyway it's not

gonna make me pull away right because I

want you to be able to be yourself and

you see what brought that up in my mind

I was used to to be your authentic self

and I think authentically I don't I

think if people deny it they're not

being completely honest like if I think

they hang out with their friends they

may admit the truth in that right but

they're not able to act on it because

it's against our societal Norms right

now right now it's changing

but that's where that came from it

really is about just do what you want to

do just be yourself you know and I don't

know that I have been in a relationship

where I felt that open to saying that

either where I felt there was so much

trust already early on in our

relationship

I did not I didn't feel threatened like

you want to go out with your girlfriends

and hang out and go dancing I mean you

didn't do that but if you wanted to I'd

have been oh cool yeah

that's true

yeah so so step one was bringing it up

in conversation yes you know kind of

setting the stage for that now you and I

set the stage from that from the very

beginning because I think there was a

sense of freedom because of what you do

and we could just kind of talk about

that and we could talk about fantasies

and it could come across like have you

ever had a threesome with uh two girls

and a guy or have you had a threesome

with two guys and a girl whatever it is

you know ask your partner that question

right like what's your craziest sexual

experience that you've ever had is there

something you've ever wanted to try yes

you know any of those kinds of things to

kind of open up the topic and and these

should just these should just be topics

that you can discuss

from a vulnerable transparent space you

know it's not like you said with your

with your past relationships where they

would want to hear about your past but

as soon as you would tell them they

would use it against you or they would

immediately compare themselves to

whatever over your past experiences were

so we're not talking about that we're

talking about you know bringing this

topic up

um and then

once you've discussed it and maybe

you've decided yeah maybe we want to

take this from like a fantasy topic to

something maybe more real then what do

we do and I know for us

it was so weird because I didn't have a

problem going on a date with somebody

else when you were out of town

but when we went to actually set up the

threesome date

that took me so long yeah and I think

it's because you were going to be in the

room and somehow

that that pressured me

I don't know why but it made me a little

more nervous so it was

it took us a little longer to actually

set that date up and the reason I bring

this point up and why I believe it's

important to bring up is you were

completely patient with me every time

you would be like okay so there's this

person and you know I've said oh yeah I

think that would be a great person and

we go to set up the thing and I would

back out and you would we just wouldn't

pursue it and then we'd wait a little

bit and we'd try it again and we tried

again and finally one night I was just

like gosh darn it let's just do this I'm

gonna just try this I'm gonna quit

letting my hesitancy or my fear or

whatever it was get in the way we're

just gonna do this and you're ready now

if you had gotten upset with me the

first time I did that

and been like you know you said you were

gonna do this or whatever you know we

probably wouldn't be here talking

wouldn't have open love and all this

kind of stuff so I mean it's really

vital that we respect each other from

that standpoint it is

and you know I think your exact words

were

well I can't see your exact words but

it's like screw it I'm just gonna do it

and whatever the consequences are

whatever happens happens yeah you know

if you get mad at me you get mad at me

and I'm like oh baby I'm not gonna get

mad at you well if you do I'm just gonna

accept it I just want to do it so yeah

I'm gonna do it for me and that was you

know that's another hurdle sometimes we

have to get past you know and we talk

about

the importance of doing things because

you want to do them if you're trying to

do things to please your partner it's

never going to work I don't care how

much you think it's going to whatever it

is that you're doing you have to own it

well you can try and please your partner

you can try to please you yes you can

try to please your partner but if that's

the whole goal of what you're doing it's

like I'm doing this because my part this

will make my partner happy you miss that

critical part of what happiness

um for yourself is missing yeah you know

and so for me in that moment it became

this is something I want to do

I've always been curious about it I've

got to quit thinking so much about

John or you know whatever's going on

with me if this is something I want to

do I need to just own it and do it and

take responsibility for the aftermath of

it you know it got to the point where I

I wanted to be able to say I did it and

I loved it or hated it or gosh I wish I

had tried that in my life you know that

was kind of those two choices I got to

and so you were really helpful in that

you

found someone and we talked about it and

we decided that that would be a good

choice and we contacted him and he was

good to go you know so it was it was

definitely a group effort you know

there's all three people working

together to make this happen

and we were all confident and kind and

generous

um in that setting and so it ended up

being just a really great evening

um for all of us I think yeah it's a

great memory yeah yeah and then you know

after I mean there was throughout it

there was it's a new thing and so your

partner

may not know what to do exactly so you

have to kind of work together and yeah

uh if you if you've done one before your

partner hasn't you can kind of Coach

through it if either one of you've ever

had an experience like that maybe the

person you're with has and it's just

about conversation and and not

not being worried about doing something

wrong so to speak you just just you know

it's just uh just like your first time

with someone you may not know exactly

what to do but you just kind of go with

the flow and just it turns out to be

what it is

and it turned to be a great experience

and then after the fact in the car we

Jack and I spoke about it for quite a

while we talked about the feelings we

had and the things we liked about it

maybe the things we didn't like about

that particular experience and then you

can

mold the next one to make it you know

more along the lines of what you both

enjoy together right

we'll also realize

it gave me an opportunity to see what it

was like for the three of us you know

because I had kind of built up in my

mind that this was this was going to be

a lot of pressure on me having you there

because you were my you were my

boyfriend at the time you know and you

were going to be watching me as my

boyfriend

playing with someone else in my brain

almost didn't know like how to even

filter that yeah and so to give myself

permission to experience that and then I

realized how much comfort it was to have

you there how supportive you were

how much I relied on you being there and

how I could reach out and you would

touch my hand or you were you know like

it is

it's almost hard for me even 11 years on

to articulate

like the transformation that took place

in our relationship from that point

forward I mean we got in the car and I

was just giddy almost with a lot of

different emotions like you were so

supportive and that was something that I

feel like had always been missing in my

other relationships you know I got to be

who I was and you loved me for it it was

just like I got to be celebrated in my

authenticity and that was

that was just

like wow

and I think a lot of women could feel

could potentially feel some shame

about doing something like that because

of how they were raised right and

you know that might have been part of

the fear that kept you from doing it as

well absolutely but in the end I

remember in that car in your feeling was

one of empowerment yeah like you like I

you know yeah I did this and I owned it

and I'm I feel good about myself for

doing it and that was a that was a

really cool

emotion that you were feeling for me to

see you kind of blossom into this

independent woman where you knew that

you could just be whoever you wanted to

be right well in in the car ride home we

both had the freedom to talk about the

evening and what we thought and you you

know you weren't threatened by The

Interchange I wasn't

you know I wasn't going through any

negative feelings about it you know we

just got to just kind of embrace it and

and learn from it and I got to see

another side of our relationship that I

didn't really know existed you know

there's just even more support I felt

even more love from you and I felt more

love towards you as well you know when

we're accepted

holy you get to kind of exhale right

you're just like ah there's a comfort in

it so I don't know I think for

threesomes there's there's those few

steps you know there's the conversation

there's the patience with your partner

then there's the setting it up together

and and agreeing together and then

following through on that you know

whatever that plan is and then the end

is being able to discuss it and be

constructive with it and what have we

learned what could we do better what do

we want to do different what do we not

want to do you know maybe we didn't like

the experience at all and so we want to

do something different and that's okay

too

and that's something we haven't didn't

really touch upon because we had such a

great experience that that initials

person was really well essentially

perfect yeah but we've had some

experiences that haven't been right and

you know you could as a couple get into

a situation with your with a threesome

or with a couple as well where

you're not

feeling it or somebody is feeling

uncomfortable about something or what if

what if you change your mind in the

middle of it right you know in in a case

like that it's really

you have to remember you're going into

these things as a couple as partners

yeah

and if one person is feeling a the shame

that we talked about earlier or

uncomfortability

the other partner needs to be supportive

in that no matter what that is I don't

care

you know if if you had been in the

middle of it

with him and I started feeling

jealous or anger or some kind of fear or

I just want to run away I just want to

leave the room and good people might

anything like that right

I know you would have been supportive of

me in the way I was feeling right and

that's important no matter how much fun

you're having

if your partner is feeling uncomfortable

feelings we have to really be supportive

in that in rather than

you know why don't you just go out in

the hallway and feel that way and I'll

we'll talk about it later

gosh I can't imagine

yeah no and that's well and here's the

here's the other

in all of those experiences like you

said sometimes they're going to be

stellar and sometimes they're going to

be less than Stellar but it doesn't have

to those less than Stellar threesomes

don't have to

keep us from

trying continuing well we're learning

from it yeah we can learn from it and

and and help ourselves and the other

thing that may happen too is there may

be something going on with the person

that you don't know right

and it's important to talk about the

scenarios before you go into it so what

if

yeah

what if the guy wants to do something I

don't want to do it

well and you you did do that you're like

you know I'm here I'm here to help you

if you need anything from me and like I

knew that you were my safe space if if

something had happened that I wanted to

to stop I knew that I had that safety

insecurity to do that that's important

and it's also important because some

women men too

may be afraid to say no to the person

it's a new person I don't want to hurt

their feelings I don't want to say no I

don't like that

so you may need some kind of a signal

for your partner right like you know

Jackie could give me an eye or like

shake her head a little bit or reach

over and squeeze your arms yes and then

I'm like uh yeah she doesn't really like

that maybe try doing this instead you

know you can even coach the person that

you're just that you're getting with for

the first time and that can help the The

Experience maybe flow a little better as

opposed to being traumatic right right

yeah and the more you do it the more

comfortable you'll get and the more

self-assured you'll become you know it's

just like with anything new that you're

trying there's a learning curve to it

yes

um

but they're great yes and uh you know we

hope you guys enjoy your first threesome

and have you already had some maybe you

learned something from this to help your

next experience be even that much better

yeah and share your share your own tips

yes here on the you know in the feed

leave it in the comments please do

absolutely and also you know subscribe

to our email list at openlove101.com and

we'll send you updates on when this

other programs like this might air like

how to have an orgy that one could be

coming up soon yes

and uh other things like maybe Jackie

will decide to write an article here

soon and you'll be notified about that

and events that we have going on so

thank you guys for joining us today see

ya

great job Jackie and if you like that

video please click the button below

subscribe to our YouTube channel will

give you plenty of more plenty of more