Things I'm too embarrassed to say out loud
Summary
TLDRIn this candid video, the speaker discusses their struggles with social anxiety, feelings of loneliness, and the desire for genuine love. They also touch on their envy of religious people and their own insecurities, culminating in a lighthearted moment where they share an impromptu song they composed.
Takeaways
- ๐ค The speaker often questions whether they have been truly loved by a man, which leads to feelings of loneliness.
- ๐ The speaker acknowledges having social anxiety and how it has affected their ability to maintain friendships and social relationships.
- ๐ The speaker reflects on their university experience, where they struggled to maintain relationships due to social anxiety.
- ๐ They express a lack of resentment towards themselves for their social anxiety, recognizing it as a part of their identity and something they are always recovering from.
- ๐ Despite having a supportive network of family and friends, the speaker feels lonely when it comes to romantic love and the depth of connection they desire.
- ๐ The speaker admits to struggling with feeling unaccomplished, even in the face of success, and not celebrating their achievements.
- ๐ฅ Content creation has led to a habit of self-criticism and nitpicking one's appearance and performance, which can be mentally taxing.
- ๐ฅ The speaker expresses envy towards religious people for their sense of community and shared values, which they find meaningful.
- ๐ค The speaker ends the video with an impromptu song, showing their love for singing and willingness to step out of their comfort zone.
- ๐ก The video script serves as a candid confession of the speaker's insecurities, struggles, and self-reflection, encouraging viewers to share their own vulnerabilities.
Q & A
What is the main theme of the video transcript?
-The main theme of the video transcript is the speaker's introspection on personal struggles, including social anxiety, feelings of loneliness, unaccomplishment, content creation challenges, and curiosity about religion.
How does the speaker describe their experience with social anxiety?
-The speaker describes their experience with social anxiety as a problem that has affected significant portions of their life, impacting their ability to maintain friendships and participate in social situations.
What does the speaker feel about their social anxiety?
-The speaker does not resent their social anxiety but acknowledges that it has been a part of their life and will continue to be, even during times when they are not actively feeling it.
Why does the speaker feel lonely despite having a supportive network of family and friends?
-The speaker feels lonely because they question whether they have ever been truly loved by a man in the same way they are capable of loving others.
What does the speaker struggle with regarding their sense of accomplishment?
-The speaker struggles with feeling unaccomplished because they do not celebrate their achievements or feel deserving of praise, often attributing success to external factors or luck.
How does the speaker's experience with content creation affect their self-perception?
-Content creation has led the speaker to nitpick their appearance and performance in videos, which can result in a negative self-image and a tendency to be overly critical of themselves.
What is the speaker's view on the impact of social media and AI on self-image?
-The speaker believes that social media and AI, with their unrealistic portrayals of perfection, contribute to a distorted self-image and unhealthy comparison with non-existent standards of beauty.
Why does the speaker express envy towards religious people?
-The speaker envies religious people for their strong connection to something bigger than themselves and the sense of community and shared values that comes with it.
What is the speaker's attitude towards their singing ability?
-The speaker believes they have a good singing voice and enjoys singing, even though they are initially hesitant to share this talent in the video.
What does the speaker do to conclude the video?
-The speaker concludes the video by singing a song they made up, demonstrating their willingness to step out of their comfort zone and embrace vulnerability.
What is the speaker's call to action for the viewers at the end of the video?
-The speaker encourages viewers to leave a comment about something they are not happy to admit, in line with the video's theme of openness and self-reflection.
Outlines
๐ Struggling with Social Anxiety and the Quest for True Love
The speaker reflects on their personal experiences with social anxiety, acknowledging that it has hindered their ability to form and maintain friendships, particularly during their university years. They express a sense of loneliness and question whether they have ever been truly loved by a man, contrasting their feelings of being desired and wanted with the deeper emotional connection they crave. The speaker also touches on the universal human condition of dealing with imperfections and challenges, and their decision to share these vulnerabilities in a raw and honest manner through freestyling the video content.
๐ The Burden of Accomplishment and the Impact of Self-Criticism
In this paragraph, the speaker discusses their struggle with feeling unaccomplished despite their achievements. They attribute this to a lifelong pattern of not celebrating their wins or accepting praise, often attributing success to external factors or luck. The speaker admires those who can celebrate life's small victories and believes this contributes to happiness. They also delve into the downsides of content creation, particularly the negative effects of constantly reviewing one's own image and voice, which can lead to severe self-criticism and a distorted self-image, exacerbated by societal and media pressures to conform to unrealistic beauty standards.
๐ค Embracing Creativity and the Joy of Singing
The speaker shares their love for singing, revealing that they are constantly humming or singing, especially when feeling comfortable. They recount creating an impromptu song during a flight's landing and decide to perform it for the audience, despite being out of their comfort zone. The song is a playful take on airline safety instructions, and the speaker uses this opportunity to encourage viewers to share something they are not proud of, embracing the spirit of the video's theme of openness and vulnerability.
Mindmap
Keywords
๐กSocial Anxiety
๐กLoneliness
๐กUnaccomplished
๐กContent Creation
๐กNitpicking
๐กReligion
๐กValues
๐กSelf-love
๐กPerfection
๐กCommunity
๐กSinging
Highlights
The speaker's introspection on whether they have ever been truly loved by a man, reflecting on the loneliness that comes with such a realization.
Acknowledgment of social anxiety as a common human experience, and its impact on personal relationships and social interactions.
Admission of the speaker's struggle with social anxiety and its effects on their ability to maintain friendships, particularly during university years.
The speaker's acceptance of being a 'recovering social anxiety' individual, understanding that they will always have to manage their condition.
A candid discussion on the feeling of unaccomplishment despite achievements, and the speaker's difficulty in celebrating their own successes.
The speaker's envy of people who can celebrate life and enjoy small victories, contrasting their own inability to do so.
The negative impact of content creation on self-perception, with the speaker detailing how constantly viewing oneself can lead to self-criticism.
A critique of social media and its role in promoting unrealistic beauty standards and the pressure to conform to these standards.
The speaker's curiosity and envy towards religious people, highlighting the sense of community and shared values that religion can provide.
The speaker's personal journey of exploring religion and their search for a deeper understanding of spirituality and community.
A humorous anecdote about the speaker's tendency to sing constantly, revealing their passion for music and its role in their life.
The speaker's decision to sing an original song made up during a flight, showcasing their creativity and willingness to step out of their comfort zone.
The actual performance of the original song, which serves as a light-hearted conclusion to the video and a testament to the speaker's self-expression.
An invitation for viewers to share something they are not proud to admit, encouraging a community of openness and vulnerability.
The speaker's reflection on the purpose of the video, aiming to embrace vulnerability and share personal struggles with the audience.
Transcripts
but I have been wondering if I have ever
been truly loved by a man and that can
be a pretty lonely place no one's life
is perfect no person is perfect we all
deal with things that we're not happy to
deal with things that we wish we did not
have to deal with and things we're not
proud of and so today I want to share
some things that I am not particularly
excited to admit to myself mainly or to
you guys but we're doing it we're going
to see how this goes so I have some
notes and I have written some topics
down I'm going to Freestyle this
entire video and what I'm going to say
about the topics because I think that's
when it's the most raw and
honest okay first
one I sometimes resent my social anxiety
[Music]
I want to say first that I know everyone
deals with social anxiety to an extent I
mean that's just a part of Being Human
we get nervous we get sweaty we get
scared most people don't like public
speaking for example most people are not
super comfortable walking into a group
of random people that we don't know but
it can also become a problem for some
people and it has become a problem for
big portions of my life and the reason I
present it sometimes is because I know
that had I not had to deal with it I
would probably had made more friendships
or at least I would have been able to
make the effort to maintain some of the
friendships that I have had in my life I
think of uni in
particular I met some very good
reasonable
people at Uni but I just was not in a
place where I
could maintain those relationships I
pulled away I declined invites I did not
take any initiatives or really show much
interest at all because even though I
wanted
to I couldn't but I'm not resenting
myself for it there have been so many
factors that I have had little to no
power over that have
made me an anxious person so I think I'm
always going to be a recovering social
anxiet which means that even when I'm
not feeling it even when things are
great I know that I'm going to go
through times where it's not and that is
okay it's part of me it's
fine I feel really lonely at times
[Music]
I don't
feel lonely when it comes
to my family my
friends I'm very lucky to have people in
my life
who care so deeply about me and I care
so deep about
them but I have been wondering if I have
ever been truly loved by a man I know
that I have been desired I know that I
have been wanted I know that I have gone
to experience so much romance and so
many beautiful things but
love have I been
loved the way that I love I can can't
speak for anyone else's feelings how
someone else has felt
but I can speak for how I have felt
and I don't think I have ever been loved
the way that I love and that can be a
pretty lonely place next
question I struggle with feeling
unaccomplished yeah this is
how do you guys deal with this I know
I'm not Al
loneliness I have always been this way
since I was a toddler is my guest that's
what Mom tells me where no matter how
good I was at something no matter what I
accomplished what I did I did not
celebrate it I did not feel like I
deserved to be praised or to be
congratulated or to be
admired for whatever it was that I did I
feel like I could definitely go to the
Moon come back and I would be like yeah
but the only reason I could do that is
because this person did that and they
helped me with that and these two things
just aligned so it was luck and also I'm
not the first person to go to the moon
so it's really not a big deal I feel
like that would definitely be how I
would reason with that but I'm not proud
of it I don't want to be that person I
so much admire people who Celebrate Life
who celebrate little wins who do the
smallest silliest thing but they do it
and then they go and have dinner with
friends to celebrate that they did that
thing I truly believe that is such a
important portion of a person's
happiness to be
honest
right the current downside of content
creation for
me when you film yourself like this for
years and you edit videos you know you
watch the same video a thousand times
you go over it again and again again you
see your face you see your face you see
your face you hear your voice you can
very easily fall into the deep deep hole
of nitpicking your appearance nitpicking
your face nitpicking the way that you
talk the way that you move the way that
you sit stand it can become quite dark
and I think it's quite unnatural to look
at yourself so much and I think
especially recently I have just been
nitpicking the
absolute out of myself just very
heavily very mean to myself at times
like the way that I would never speak to
someone else or even think of someone
else
I have had to acknowledge that I've done
to myself part of that I think is due
to just our social media climate at the
moment I think we have very much
normalized you know heavy editing heavy
plastic surgery altering our appearance
and now ai has come to the picture where
you see pictures of AI people who look
realistic but they're not but they look
absolutely perfect and stunning and so
so you're comparing yourself
to a very much madeup person who does
not exist who will never
exist I am envious of religious
[Music]
people I Have Become
increasingly curious and interested in
religion I don't know where I stand
which is why I don't really ever speak
on it it's something that I am
still sometimes learning about and
looking up and you know hearing people
talk about it I think the Envy part is
that it seems like such a meaningful way
to be so connected to something bigger
and to be so connected to the people in
your community and to have those people
that you
share strong values with I think today
it's quite difficult to find people who
share your values I think culturally
culturally culturally our values are
changing and some of us are keeping up
some of us are not and for that reason I
admire people who so strongly
believe and who find so much comfort and
love in their
Community oh wow we're ending on this
one no
okay we have no more
notes uh am I going to do this one okay
let's
see by far everything I've spoken about
so far this one is the one that is the
most out of my comfort
zone I actually think I have a good
singing voice
so I was thinking I was going to sing
for
you because my mom mom says I have a
good singing voice and in Mommy we
trust so before I sing some backstory I
am one of those annoying people who sing
all the time if I'm not singing I'm
humming if I'm not singing around you
I'm not comfortable around you because
if you are one of the people who are
close to me you will know that there is
always a Melody a song coming out of my
mouth I cannot help it I think it's I
don't even know
why but I do and it's
fun and I'm going to sing for you a
song that
I that I made up on a flight as we were
Landing so I think I was singing this
song for probably like 20 minutes until
we landed luckily planes are quite loud
so I don't think anyone was really
annoyed
okay let's go all right we're about to
reach our
destination so please keep your seat bu
on and keep it
fasten and keep it tight don't be
walking down the
aisle cuz we're on to fly
that was my song thank you for watching
please leave a comment about something
that you are not happy to admit I have
to go I'm so
embarrassed that was the point of the
video and I think I did it successfully
so talk to you soon
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