FAIL - Fight Again In Life | Dr Tanu Jain | TEDxIIMAmritsar
Summary
TLDRThe speaker shares seven lessons learned from failures, emphasizing that failure is a social construct and success is self-defined. They discuss the importance of balancing various life aspects, the value of learning from failures, and the need to pursue passions with determination. The speaker also highlights the pain of regret over failure and encourages continuous learning and self-improvement, concluding with the acronym F-A-I-L as a reminder to fight again in life.
Takeaways
- π Failure is a social concept, and society often labels people as failures or successes, but it's important to remember that only you can decide your own success or failure.
- π There are various aspects of life where people can experience failure, such as academics, career, relationships, and social interactions. It's crucial to balance these aspects to avoid regret.
- π The script discusses a horizontal and vertical aspect of failures. Horizontally, failures can be in different areas of life, while vertically, the depth of effort and learning differentiates failures.
- ποΈ Not reaching the peak (success) does not equate to failure. Those who quit close to the peak have learned and evolved, and they have different opportunities open to them compared to those who quit early.
- π Learning and evolving from failures are essential. People who continue to learn and pursue their goals despite failures will find new doors opening for them.
- π It's important to analyze failures to understand if the direction or goals are right for you. Playing to your strengths is crucial to avoid inevitable failure.
- π Be the best at what you are naturally good at, rather than trying to be something you're not, which can lead to failure.
- π The pain of regret is worse than the pain of failure. It's better to try and fail than to regret not trying at all.
- π Continuous learning is vital, even in the face of failure. Steve Jobs is an example of someone who continued learning and eventually connected the dots in his success.
- π Don't judge yourself based on a single failure. Life is a long journey with many opportunities, and each failure is a stepping stone towards success.
Q & A
What is the speaker's main point about failure?
-The speaker emphasizes that failure is a social concept and that it's important to learn from failures rather than focusing on the failures themselves.
How does society influence our perception of failure and success?
-Society often labels individuals as failures or successes based on their achievements in exams, business, relationships, etc. This labeling can affect how individuals perceive themselves.
What is the speaker's first lesson about failure?
-The first lesson is that failure is a social construct and it's up to the individual to decide whether they have failed or succeeded, not society.
What are the different aspects of life where failure can occur?
-The speaker mentions academic, career, professional, emotional, social, and identity failures as different aspects where individuals can experience failure.
Why is it important to have a balance in life according to the speaker?
-Having a balance is crucial because being successful in one area, like career, but failing in others, like relationships, can lead to regret and dissatisfaction.
What is the vertical aspect of failures the speaker talks about?
-The vertical aspect refers to the depth of effort and learning in the journey towards a goal. Quitting at different stages of the journey results in different levels of failure and learning.
Why does the speaker say that not all failures are the same?
-Because the effort, learning, and wisdom gained at different stages of failure are different. A person who quits early versus one who quits close to the goal has had different experiences and learned different lessons.
What is the significance of the speaker's point about doors opening for prepared people?
-The speaker implies that opportunities arise for those who have learned and evolved from their failures, making them better prepared for new ventures and challenges.
Why is it important to analyze our failures, according to the speaker?
-Analyzing failures helps individuals understand if they are pursuing the right goals or if their direction needs adjustment. It's crucial to play to one's strengths rather than blindly following others' advice.
What is the speaker's advice on dealing with the pain of failure?
-The speaker advises that the pain of failure is less than the pain of regret. It's better to try and fail than to live with the regret of not trying at all.
What are the speaker's three takeaways at the end of the talk?
-The three takeaways are: 1) Do what you want to do with passion, 2) Don't quit learning, and 3) Remember that failure is just a small break, keep pursuing your goals.
How does the speaker use the acronym F-A-I-L to convey a message?
-The speaker uses F-A-I-L to mean 'Fight Again In Life,' encouraging listeners to view failure as a call to action to keep fighting and not give up.
Outlines
π Embracing Failure as a Social Construct
The speaker begins by discussing the societal perception of failure and success. They emphasize that failure is a social concept, often dictated by external expectations such as exams, business ventures, or relationships. The speaker encourages the audience to recognize that only they can truly define their own failures and successes. They highlight the importance of not letting others label you and to see failure as a learning opportunity. The speaker also introduces the idea that there are various aspects of life where failure can occur, such as academics, career, emotions, and social interactions, suggesting a need for balance in all areas.
π Understanding the Vertical and Horizontal Aspects of Failure
In this paragraph, the speaker delves into the concept of failure from both a horizontal and vertical perspective. They use the metaphor of a mountain to illustrate that quitting at different stages of a journey results in different types of failures, each with its own lessons learned. The speaker argues that not all failures are equal and that the effort and learnings involved in reaching different points on the mountain are what truly matter. They also mention the importance of not comparing your failures to others and the value of learning from each experience. The speaker uses the example of Amitabh Bachchan to illustrate how perceived failures can lead to later success.
π Learning from Failure and Avoiding Regret
The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of learning from failure and continuing to pursue your goals. They stress that the pain of regret is worse than the pain of failure, using examples of famous figures like Steve Jobs and Einstein who were initially considered failures but ultimately achieved great success. The speaker advises the audience to pursue their passions with determination and to not judge themselves based on a single failure. They encourage continuous learning and self-improvement, regardless of setbacks. The speaker ends with a reminder that failure is a part of life and a stepping stone to success, encouraging the audience to fight again and see themselves as fighters.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Failure
π‘Success
π‘Society
π‘Identity Failure
π‘Balance
π‘Vertical Aspect
π‘Horizontal Aspect
π‘Pursuit
π‘Regret
π‘Learning
π‘Passion
Highlights
Failure is a social concept, defined by societal norms and expectations.
It is crucial to determine your own success or failure, rather than letting society label you.
There are various aspects of life where failure can occur, such as academics, career, emotions, and social interactions.
Identity failure occurs when you don't know what you want to do and act based on societal parameters.
Balance in all aspects of life is important to avoid regretting success in one area at the expense of others.
The vertical aspect of failure suggests that the effort and learnings from failing at different stages are not the same.
Failures at different stages of a pursuit are not comparable; each has its own value and learnings.
Pursuit and learning are more important than the success or failure itself.
Amitabh Bachchan's story illustrates how rejection can lead to success when you embrace your uniqueness.
It's essential to analyze your failures to understand if you are pursuing the right path or if your direction needs adjustment.
Playing to your strengths is crucial; don't try to be something you're not just because it's popular or suggested by others.
Regret is more painful than failure; it's better to try and fail than to never try at all.
Steve Jobs' story shows the importance of continuous learning, even in the face of academic failure.
Don't judge yourself based on a single failure or success; life is a journey with many facets.
Einstein and Edison's stories demonstrate that early failures do not define one's ultimate success.
Life is too big to be defined by a single event; embrace the journey and learn from each experience.
The essence of success often lies in the lessons learned from failure.
Do what you want to do with passion and determination, regardless of societal expectations.
Keep learning and pursuing your goals; success and failure are just events, but your pursuit and learning define you.
Remember that F-A-I-L stands for 'Fight Again In Life'; embrace your role as a fighter.
Transcripts
foreign
[Music]
yes of course and many times many many
times sometimes on daily basis but my
journey of failure is not that important
important are my lessons that I have
taken from my failures
so I will try to put before you my seven
lessons that I have learned my first
lesson is that failure is a social
concept generally Society tells you if
you are a failure and a success we all
have faced this the moment you give an
entrance exam the moment you start a
business the moment you enter into a
relationship people tell you oh
not this time again she couldn't clear
the exam
oh he started a business he failed oh
goodness so this is the kind of tags of
failure that Society puts on you the
problem is we ourselves don't seem we
don't consider ourselves failures but
society makes you a failure or a success
this is the problem the moment somebody
is trying to put a tag on you
see through it's not them who should
decide whether you are a failure or a
success who should decide only and only
you should decide when you have been a
failure and when you have been a success
nobody can tell you whether you are a
failure or a success
second
there is a horizontal
aspect of our life and failures and
success govern all of them so there are
people who are academic failures others
are career failures professional
failures and some others are emotional
failures and more are social failures
and above all is identity failures
identity failure is when you don't know
what you want to do and you act by the
society set parameters Marriage Act
25
career set at 27
child before 30 and first house before
35 all this is what Society sets for you
the moment you be to go beyond any
timeline you go beyond they will term
you failure but this horizontal aspect
even when not important for society it
is important for you if you are failing
as an emotional person and you are very
successful as
well as still a failure so it is very
important to have a balance because if
you regret at the end that you are a
very rich successful person with nobody
else to enjoy with then it is again
something you regret and if you have
very loving good friends good family but
no money
again it is a problem therefore a
balance in all aspects of life is
important so here we are not talking
only about career failures it is very
important that you look your life
holistically and organically
third thing I have analyzed through my
failures is that there is a vertical
aspect to failures so imagine there is a
mountain which is 500 meters
and the person who quit at 50 meters is
a failure
person who quit at 100 meters is a
failure and 490 meters is still a
failure for society
only the person who reaches the FX the
peak the Summit is called as success but
is this person who quit at 50 and the
person who quit at 490 are they same
they are not saying
absolutely not same because the kind of
hard work that person has put in the
kind of learnings that person has taken
is very different you cannot compare the
failure of a person who has just entered
and quit and the person who has tried or
had done determination had the
determination to go through you cannot
compare these failures no not all
failures are seen so important what is
your Pursuit the person who has failed
at 490 is a different person he is an
evolved being he has learned a lot in
the journey he has the lessons the
wisdom the knowledge the skills which he
which he or she can utilize in another
venture this takes me to another of my
point that is
we should not we should not consider
ourselves as failure if we just do not
reach the peak Peak is just one point
and as people say those when one door
closes many doors open
but what truth be told
these doors are open only for
prepared people
so the person who quits at 490 for him
or her these doors are open not for the
person who quit at 50.
because
the learnings are different this person
who has learned along the way
has other doors open for him or her take
the example of Amitabh Bachchan he was
rejected as a radio jockey because of
his husky voice and now that voice has
become the major you know major
attraction the huskiness the sincerity
of that that voice has become the major
attraction and of course we all know he
has failed many times and yet again
succeeded so the doors open only for
those who keep learning and who keep
their Pursuit on
this leads to my fifth point
it is very important that we analyze our
failures many a times I have seen that
because somebody tells you being monkey
is the next best thing in Market we all
try to become monkeys but if you are
better at swimming then be a fish
because
you have to play on your strengths the
moment you move beyond your strengths
the moment you try to become something
which other person is telling you to
then you lose your strengths and this
becomes inevitable failure inevitable
because you are not prepared for that
you are not loving that you are not
passionate about that so if you are
having failures in life analyze is there
something wrong with what you are trying
to achieve is there something wrong in
your direction analyze
I I never say just be obsessive about
one thing but yes one has to have
determination and passion at the same
time with analysis whether the direction
is right if you are a fish be a fish be
a good fish don't be a bad monkey
because when in society it will judge
you it will always say this is a bad
monkey and that is a good fish so always
do what you are best at
after this I'll tell you my sixth lesson
regrets
failures are not that painful yes they
are painful so we all know failures are
emotional
moment we fail we are emotional
world comes crashing onto us they are uh
hurtful they are people criticize us
when we fail people judge us when we
fail and it is it is it is like no it is
more than physical pain so somebody hit
you it's not that painful but if you
fail then it's painful but trust me
the pain of failure is still less than
the failure the pain of regret
how many of you must have many of you
rather must have heard your mother's
saying that if I would have been given a
chance I would have become this this in
my life it was only because I wasn't
given a chance or your fathers saying
that I would have bought that property
and it would have made a huge lot of
difference in our future we see regrets
in old people and what are these regrets
these regrets are regrets of not failing
enough
so yes failure is painful but regret is
more painful so choose your pain it is
better you do something and then
fail because in that failing also there
is a lot and lot of learnings that go
along the way
and just try to put a example here Steve
Jobs so Steve Jobs was a academic period
we all know he quit he dropped out of
his college in his first year and out of
that he still didn't stop learning we
all know that he went to calligraphy
classes designing classes just out of
Interest no specific purpose but he kept
on learning and 10 years later he
connected the dots when he designed
Macintosh he said that if I had not been
an academic failure I would not have
been a designing exist so this is
important that even when you fail you
don't stop learning or trying to improve
yourself
my seventh point is life is too big
don't judge yourself on even parameters
so if you have failed an exam don't
judge yourself it's okay
don't just judge yourself with one
relationship one event one success one
business idea one uh entrepreneurial
startup no don't judge yourself
and I'll tell you how why so we all know
Einstein
so Einstein was termed as a failure
because he could not read when he was
four he could not rather speak when he
was four and again he was termed a
failure at seven because he could not
read
and we all know what scientific Marvel
he was similarly Edison
we all are enjoying the benefits of
inventions of Edison and Edison was
termed as a failure because he had
learning disabilities
and we all know that now he has he
helped more than one thousand patents in
his name so what people tell you or what
you feel at that particular moment is
not important because sometimes it is
inevitable to feel as a failure but you
have to move beyond that feeling and
realize that life is a beautiful Journey
that goes a long long way you never know
when this failure will turn to success
definitely we all are working towards
success and we have read in every
self-help book on Earth that's a path to
success is laid by the
bricks of failure yes these are words
but somehow there is an Essence in that
also so my three takeaways at the last
are
do what you want to do whatever you want
to do analyze your own wishes and do
them with full passion and vigor
second don't quit learning failure is
just a small break keep learning you
have to focus more on deserving and
pursuit rather than success and failure
because success and failures are just
events but what brings them is your
Pursuit and your learnings and my last
so if you ever think that you have
failed remember
f-a-i-l means fight again in life fight
again you are a fighter thank you
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