Dating NAS Daily & Getting Divorced | Alyne Tamir

Summary

In this episode, Elene shares her journey through a divorce and the aftermath. She discusses the challenges of being raised religiously, the impact on her sex life, and her struggle with societal expectations of marriage and motherhood. She also touches on her evolving relationship with her faith and the pressures of conforming to traditional roles.

Takeaways

• 💔 The speaker, Elene, discusses her divorce after three years of marriage, highlighting the emotional and psychological challenges faced during the relationship.
• 🔒 Elene mentions a significant 'breaking point' that occurred after one year of marriage, which led to the eventual divorce.
• 🚫 A major issue in the marriage was the lack of sexual intimacy, which Elene attributes to her upbringing and the negative messages she received about sex from her religious background.
• 👗 Elene describes the societal and religious pressures that led her to feel shame about her body and sex, impacting her ability to be intimate with her husband.
• 🤔 Despite being a sexual person, Elene's body 'shut down' during her marriage, preventing her from having sex, which she plans to discuss further in a book.
• 💔 The divorce was not directly due to the lack of sex, as Elene believes her husband could have ended the marriage earlier if that was the primary issue.
• 🙏 After the divorce, Elene initially became more religious, possibly as a coping mechanism or in search of answers and solace.
• 🏛 Elene's experience with the Mormon Church and her divorce led her to question and eventually leave the church, marking a significant change in her life.
• 👶 Elene discusses societal expectations around having children, noting that she does not have a maternal urge and prefers to be a mother in a different way.
• 🌐 The speaker emphasizes the importance of respecting individual choices regarding parenthood, acknowledging that not everyone wants or needs to have children.

Q & A

Why did Elene get divorced?

Elene got divorced after three years of trying to make her marriage work. The relationship ended up in divorce after a significant breaking point occurred, and they stayed married for two more years before finally separating.

What was the main issue in Elene's marriage?

A major issue in Elene's marriage was that they never had sex during their three years together. Elene's body was unable to engage in sexual activity, which she attributes to being raised with religious beliefs that instilled shame around sex.

How did Elene's upbringing affect her views on sex?

Elene was raised in a religious environment where she was taught to cover her body and feel shame about her sexuality. This upbringing led to a psychological block that prevented her from having sex in her marriage.

What was Elene's experience like after her divorce?

After her divorce, Elene initially became more religious, seeking solace in her faith. However, this did not resolve her feelings of loss and confusion about her life and her role in society.

Why did Elene's husband divorce her?

It is not explicitly stated in the script that her husband divorced her because of their lack of sexual activity. Elene believes it was not the primary reason, as he could have divorced her earlier if that were the case.

What is Elene's view on having children?

Elene does not have a maternal urge to have children and prefers to be a mother in a different way. She believes that not wanting to have children is a valid choice and that societal expectations should not dictate personal decisions.

How does Elene feel about societal pressure to have children?

Elene feels that societal pressure to have children can be overwhelming and unfair. She emphasizes the importance of respecting individual choices and not assuming that everyone wants to have children.

What is the significance of a temple marriage in Mormonism?

In Mormonism, a temple marriage is considered the peak of life. It is a significant religious and social milestone, symbolizing a high level of commitment and spiritual connection.

How does Elene's experience compare to that of women in the Philippines?

Elene's experience is similar to that of women in the Philippines, where marriage and having a family are seen as the ultimate goals in life. This societal expectation can be limiting and pressuring for individuals who have different life goals or desires.

What is Elene's current stance on her religious beliefs?

The script does not provide specific details on Elene's current religious beliefs, but it does mention that she went through a phase of increased religiosity after her divorce, suggesting a complex relationship with her faith.