Why do we love? A philosophical inquiry - Skye C. Cleary

Summary

This script explores the multifaceted nature of romantic love through the lens of various philosophers. Plato suggests love seeks to make us whole, while Schopenhauer views it as a biological trick for procreation. Bertrand Russell sees love as an escape from loneliness, and Buddha as a source of suffering due to desire. Simone de Beauvoir offers a positive perspective, advocating for love as a meaningful integration with another. The script ponders whether love is essential or merely an illusion, ultimately leaving viewers to decide if they dare to embark on its emotional journey.

Takeaways

• 💞 Romantic love is seen as both beautiful and heart-wrenching, often experienced simultaneously.
• 🤔 The purpose of romantic love remains a mystery with no definitive scientific or psychological explanation.
• 📚 Historical philosophers have offered various theories on the nature and purpose of love, suggesting it serves different functions.
• 🧩 Plato believed that love is a quest to find a soulmate who completes us, as a result of Zeus splitting humans in two.
• 🌬️ Schopenhauer viewed love as an illusion, a trick by nature to encourage procreation, leading to a cycle of human existence.
• 🏠 Bertrand Russell suggested that love is an escape from loneliness, fulfilling our physical and psychological needs.
• 🧘 Buddha considered romantic love to be a source of suffering due to our attachments and desires, proposing a path to overcome them.
• 📖 The novel 'Dream of the Red Chamber' illustrates the tragic consequences of romantic love and attachments, as seen through a subplot.
• 🤝 Simone de Beauvoir proposed that love should be like a great friendship, where lovers support each other in personal growth and enriching life together.
• 🎢 Love is described as an emotional rollercoaster, capable of causing both suffering and elation.
• 🚀 The script encourages embracing the uncertainty of love's purpose and the courage to experience its full range of emotions.

Q & A

What does Plato believe about the purpose of love in his 'Symposium'?

Plato, through the character of Aristophanes, suggests that love is the longing to find a soulmate who will make us feel whole again, as humans were once complete beings but were split in two by Zeus.

According to Arthur Schopenhauer, what is the true nature of love based on sexual desire?

Schopenhauer viewed love based on sexual desire as a voluptuous illusion, a trick by nature to deceive us into procreating, with the loving fusion ultimately realized in our children.

How does Bertrand Russell describe the role of love in overcoming our fear of the world?

Russell posits that love's delight, intimacy, and warmth help us overcome our fear of the world, escape our lonely shells, and engage more abundantly in life.

What is the Buddha's perspective on romantic love and its relation to suffering?

The Buddha proposed that romantic love is an attempt to satisfy base desires, which are defects, and attachments, including love, are a source of suffering. He discovered the eight-fold path to extinguish the fires of desire and reach Nirvana.

How does Cao Xueqin illustrate the Buddhist sentiment about romantic love in 'Dream of the Red Chamber'?

Cao Xueqin illustrates the Buddhist sentiment through the subplot of Jia Rui, who falls in love with Xi-feng, leading to tragic consequences, symbolizing that romantic attachments can lead to suffering and should be avoided.

What does Simone de Beauvoir propose as the essence of love and how can we love better?

De Beauvoir suggests that love is the desire to integrate with another and infuse our lives with meaning. To love better, she advises loving authentically, akin to a great friendship, where lovers support each other in self-discovery and enriching their lives together.

Why might romantic love be considered both an escape and a source of suffering according to the philosophers mentioned?

Romantic love can be seen as an escape from loneliness and a means to overcome fear of the world, as suggested by Russell. However, it can also be a source of suffering, as the Buddha and Schopenhauer imply, due to its potential to lead to attachments and illusions that perpetuate cycles of desire and torment.

What is the significance of the story of humans being split in two by Zeus, as told by Aristophanes in Plato's 'Symposium'?

The story signifies the idea that humans are inherently incomplete and seek love to find their other half, thus achieving a sense of wholeness and completion.

How does the concept of love as an illusion proposed by Schopenhauer differ from Plato's view?

Schopenhauer's view presents love as an illusion created by sexual desire, which is a trick by nature to ensure procreation. In contrast, Plato's view, through Aristophanes, sees love as a quest for reunification with our other half, which is a fundamental part of our being.

What is the eight-fold path mentioned by the Buddha and how does it relate to love?

The eight-fold path is a set of guidelines for ethical conduct, mental discipline, and wisdom that leads to the cessation of suffering and the attainment of Nirvana. It relates to love as it provides a way to overcome the attachments and desires associated with romantic love, which the Buddha considered a source of suffering.

How does Simone de Beauvoir's view on love differ from traditional romantic love?

De Beauvoir's view on love emphasizes authenticity and mutual support in self-discovery, akin to a great friendship, rather than the dependency and captivation often associated with traditional romantic love, which can lead to boredom and power struggles.

Outlines

00:00

💞 Philosophical Perspectives on Romantic Love

The first paragraph delves into various philosophical theories about the nature and purpose of romantic love. It starts with questioning the reasons why humans seek love despite its potential for heartbreak. The paragraph explores Plato's idea that love is a quest to find a soulmate to become complete, as told through a myth in 'Symposium'. It then discusses Schopenhauer's view that love is a biological trick to encourage procreation, where sexual desire is an illusion that leads to the perpetuation of human existence. Bertrand Russell's perspective is also highlighted, suggesting that love serves as an escape from loneliness and enriches our lives. The paragraph concludes with Buddha's teachings, which see romantic love as a source of suffering due to the attachments it creates, using the story from 'Dream of the Red Chamber' to illustrate the tragic consequences of such attachments.

05:03

🎢 The Emotional Journey of Love

The second paragraph focuses on the emotional experience of love, acknowledging the uncertainty of why people fall in love but emphasizing the intense and varied emotions it brings. It describes love as a thrilling yet frightening journey that can cause both suffering and elation. The paragraph suggests that love might lead to a loss of self or a profound self-discovery. It ends on a note that invites the reader to consider whether they are willing to embark on the emotional rollercoaster that love represents, highlighting the potential for both heartbreak and the best experiences life has to offer.

Keywords

💡Romantic Love

Romantic love is a deep emotional attachment between individuals that often involves intimacy, passion, and a desire for a long-term commitment. In the video, it is presented as a complex and multifaceted experience that can be both beautiful and heartbreaking, and is central to the exploration of why humans seek and experience love.

💡Emotional Wringer

The term 'emotional wringer' metaphorically describes the intense and often tumultuous emotional experiences associated with romantic love. It suggests that love can put individuals through a range of strong feelings, from joy to despair, as highlighted in the video's opening remarks.

💡Soulmate

A soulmate is a person deeply connected with another on an emotional, spiritual, or intellectual level. The concept is mentioned in the context of Plato's theory, where love is the search for one's other half, implying that finding a soulmate can make an individual feel complete.

💡Procreate

Procreation refers to the biological process of producing offspring. The video discusses the idea that romantic love may be a biological trick to encourage humans to reproduce, as suggested by Arthur Schopenhauer, where love is an illusion created by our sexual desires.

💡Loneliness

Loneliness is the feeling of sadness or discomfort due to a lack of companionship or social interaction. Bertrand Russell's perspective in the video posits that love serves as an escape from loneliness, providing a sense of connection and intimacy that counters feelings of isolation.

💡Attachment

Attachment in the context of the video refers to the strong emotional bonds or connections that individuals form with others, particularly in romantic relationships. It is discussed in relation to Buddha's teachings, where attachments, including romantic love, are seen as sources of suffering.

💡Nirvana

Nirvana, in Buddhist philosophy, is a state of perfect happiness, peace, and wisdom, free from suffering and desire. The video mentions Nirvana as the enlightened state that one can reach by following Buddha's eight-fold path, which includes extinguishing the fires of desire, including those for romantic love.

💡Authentic Love

Authentic love, as discussed by Simone de Beauvoir in the video, is a form of love that is genuine, deep, and supportive, akin to a great friendship. It involves lovers helping each other to discover and enrich their lives, rather than relying on each other for a sense of self-worth or existence.

💡Existential

Existential refers to the nature of human existence, particularly the individual's search for meaning, purpose, and identity. The video touches on existential themes, such as the role of love in giving life meaning or serving as an escape from the fear of a cold, cruel world.

💡Enlightenment

Enlightenment, in the philosophical context of the video, denotes a state of understanding and awareness that transcends ordinary consciousness. It is exemplified by the Buddha's teachings and the pursuit of Nirvana, which involves overcoming desires and attachments to achieve clarity and wisdom.

💡Emotional Rollercoaster

An emotional rollercoaster is a phrase used to describe a situation with rapidly changing and intense emotions. The video uses this term to encapsulate the unpredictable and powerful feelings that come with experiencing romantic love, which can lead to both joy and heartbreak.

Highlights

Romantic love is beautiful, intoxicating, heartbreaking, and soul-crushing, raising questions about its purpose and impact on our lives.

Ancient Greek philosopher Plato explored the idea that we love to become complete, as told through the myth of humans originally having four arms, four legs, and two faces.

Plato's 'Symposium' suggests that love is the longing to find a soulmate who will make us feel whole again.

German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer viewed love as a voluptuous illusion, a trick of nature to deceive us into procreating.

Schopenhauer believed that once our sexual desires are satisfied, we return to our tormented existence, perpetuating the cycle of human suffering.

Nobel Prize-winning British philosopher Bertrand Russell proposed that love serves as an escape from loneliness and suffering by quenching our physical and psychological desires.

Russell argued that love's delight, intimacy, and warmth help us overcome fear and engage more abundantly in life.

Buddha, or Siddhārtha Gautama, saw romantic love as a source of suffering due to our attempts to satisfy base desires and attachments.

The eight-fold path discovered by Buddha offers a way to extinguish the fires of desire, leading to an enlightened state of peace, clarity, wisdom, and compassion.

The Chinese novel 'Dream of the Red Chamber' illustrates the Buddhist sentiment that romantic love can lead to tragedy and should be avoided.

French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir proposed that love is the desire to integrate with another, infusing our lives with meaning.

De Beauvoir was more interested in how we can love better, advocating for authentic love that supports each other in self-discovery and enriching life together.

Traditional romantic love can be captivating but also lead to boredom and power games if it becomes our only reason for being.

Loving authentically, akin to a great friendship, allows lovers to support each other in reaching beyond themselves and enriching the world.

The emotional rollercoaster of love can be both scary and exhilarating, causing us to suffer and soar, and potentially leading to self-discovery or loss.

The purpose of romantic love remains uncertain, but it is an experience that can be heartbreaking or the best thing in life, inviting us to dare to find out.

Transcripts

Ah, romantic love -

beautiful and intoxicating,

heartbreaking and soul-crushing,

often all at the same time.

Why do we choose to put ourselves through its emotional wringer?

Does love make our lives meaningful,

or is it an escape from our loneliness and suffering?

Is love a disguise for our sexual desire,

or a trick of biology to make us procreate?

Is it all we need?

Do we need it at all?

If romantic love has a purpose,

neither science nor psychology has discovered it yet.

But over the course of history,

some of our most respected philosophers have put forward some intriguing theories.

Love makes us whole, again.

The ancient Greek philosopher Plato

explored the idea that we love in order to become complete.

In his "Symposium", he wrote about a dinner party,

at which Aristophanes, a comic playwright,

regales the guests with the following story:

humans were once creatures with four arms, four legs, and two faces.

One day, they angered the gods,

and Zeus sliced them all in two.

Since then, every person has been missing half of him or herself.

Love is the longing to find a soulmate who'll make us feel whole again,

or, at least, that's what Plato believed a drunken comedian would say at a party.

Love tricks us into having babies.

Much, much later, German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer

maintained that love based in sexual desire

was a voluptuous illusion.

He suggested that we love because our desires lead us to believe

that another person will make us happy, but we are sorely mistaken.

Nature is tricking us into procreating,

and the loving fusion we seek is consummated in our children.

When our sexual desires are satisfied,

we are thrown back into our tormented existences,

and we succeed only in maintaining the species

and perpetuating the cycle of human drudgery.

Sounds like somebody needs a hug.

Love is escape from our loneliness.

According to the Nobel Prize-winning British philosopher Bertrand Russell,

we love in order to quench our physical and psychological desires.

Humans are designed to procreate,

but without the ecstasy of passionate love,

sex is unsatisfying.

Our fear of the cold, cruel world tempts us to build hard shells

to protect and isolate ourselves.

Love's delight, intimacy, and warmth helps us overcome our fear of the world,

escape our lonely shells,

and engage more abundantly in life.

Love enriches our whole being, making it the best thing in life.

Love is a misleading affliction.

Siddhārtha Gautama,

who became known as the Buddha, or the Enlightened One,

probably would have had some interesting arguments with Russell.

Buddha proposed that we love because we are trying to satisfy our base desires.

Yet, our passionate cravings are defects,

and attachments, even romantic love, are a great source of suffering.

Luckily, Buddha discovered the eight-fold path,

a sort of program for extinguishing the fires of desire

so that we can reach Nirvana,

an enlightened state of peace, clarity, wisdom, and compassion.

The novelist Cao Xueqin illustrated this Buddhist sentiment

that romantic love is folly in one of China's greatest classical novels,

"Dream of the Red Chamber."

In a subplot, Jia Rui falls in love with Xi-feng

who tricks and humiliates him.

Conflicting emotions of love and hate tear him apart,

so a Taoist gives him a magic mirror that can cure him

as long as he doesn't look at the front of it.

But of course, he looks at the front of it.

He sees Xi-feng.

His soul enters the mirror

and he is dragged away in iron chains to die.

Not all Buddhists think this way about romantic and erotic love,

but the moral of this story

is that such attachments spell tragedy,

and should, along with magic mirrors, be avoided.

Love lets us reach beyond ourselves.

Let's end on a slightly more positive note.

The French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir

proposed that love is the desire to integrate with another

and that it infuses our lives with meaning.

However, she was less concerned with why we love

and more interested in how we can love better.

She saw that the problem with traditional romantic love

is it can be so captivating,

that we are tempted to make it our only reason for being.

Yet, dependence on another to justify our existence

easily leads to boredom and power games.

To avoid this trap, Beauvoir advised loving authentically,

which is more like a great friendship.

Lovers support each other in discovering themselves,

reaching beyond themselves,

and enriching their lives and the world together.

Though we might never know why we fall in love,

we can be certain that it will be an emotional rollercoaster ride.

It's scary and exhilarating.

It makes us suffer

and makes us soar.

Maybe we lose ourselves.

Maybe we find ourselves.

It might be heartbreaking,

or it might just be the best thing in life.

Will you dare to find out?