How to 'overcome' fear | Trevor Ragan | TEDxCedarRapids

Summary

The speaker delves into the science of fear and its impact on learning, highlighting how the amygdala, or 'lizard brain,' generates fear to avoid perceived threats. He explains that fear is a natural response to uncertainty, attention, struggle, and change, which are also the ingredients for growth. The talk encourages embracing fear as a compass for bravery and stepping out of comfort zones to foster personal development, rather than striving to be fearless, which is unattainable.

Takeaways

• 🧠 The amygdala, often referred to as the 'lizard brain', is responsible for generating fear to keep us safe, but it can't distinguish between life-threatening dangers and personal growth challenges.
• 🚀 Fear can be a barrier to learning and development, often stemming from the fear of looking bad, the unknown, or making mistakes.
• 💡 Overcoming fear is a skill that anyone can develop, and it involves understanding and working with the natural response of the 'lizard brain', rather than trying to eliminate it.
• 🔄 Fear is triggered by uncertainty, attention, change, and struggle—elements that are also present in the best learning opportunities.
• 🙈 The 'lizard brain' can lead to avoidance behaviors, such as procrastination or choosing less challenging tasks, which can hinder personal growth.
• 🤔 The speaker suggests that instead of trying to 'kill' the lizard brain, we should 'dance with it', using it as a compass to guide us toward brave and bold actions.
• 🚶‍♂️ Fear can rob us of opportunities for growth, such as in the examples of the third-grader avoiding playing in the infield or the high school student not singing at the audition.
• 🌟 Seth Godin's influence on the speaker emphasizes the idea that feeling fear is a natural and human response, and it should be acknowledged rather than shamed.
• 💪 The concept of 'dancing with fear' suggests that we should not avoid fear but instead use it as a signal that we are stepping out of our comfort zone and into a learning experience.
• 📚 Liz Gilbert's approach to keeping fear in the 'back seat' of our lives is highlighted as a way to acknowledge its presence without letting it control our decisions.
• 🌱 The speaker concludes that stepping out of our comfort zone is a skill that can be developed over time, and that it's a continuous process of growth and learning.

Q & A

What is the main idea of the speaker in the video script?

The speaker discusses the concept of stepping out of one's comfort zone for learning and development, focusing on the role of fear and how it is generated by the amygdala, often referred to as the 'lizard brain'. The speaker suggests that understanding and managing fear can enhance learning and personal growth.

Why does the speaker refer to the amygdala as the 'lizard brain'?

The speaker uses the term 'lizard brain' to describe the amygdala because it is a primal part of the brain responsible for survival instincts, including the generation of fear to avoid danger. The term 'lizard brain' is used to illustrate its ancient and instinctual nature.

What are the four triggers that the speaker identifies as enhancing fear?

The four triggers that enhance fear, as identified by the speaker, are uncertainty, attention, change, and struggle. These elements can provoke a fear response, which can hinder learning opportunities.

How does the speaker describe the relationship between fear and learning opportunities?

The speaker describes fear as a barrier to learning opportunities. He explains that the same elements that create fear—uncertainty, attention, change, and struggle—are also present in the best learning opportunities, which can lead to avoidance if not properly managed.

What is the speaker's view on the common advice to 'be fearless'?

The speaker argues that advising someone to 'be fearless' is flawed because it is impossible to completely eliminate fear, especially in situations involving uncertainty, attention, change, and struggle. Instead, he suggests embracing and managing fear as a natural human response.

What does the speaker mean by 'dancing with the lizard brain'?

The speaker suggests 'dancing with the lizard brain' as a metaphor for understanding and working with the fear response rather than trying to eliminate it. It means recognizing the fear signal as an indicator of a learning opportunity and choosing to engage with it rather than avoid it.

How does the speaker's perspective on fear change after his conversation with Seth Godin?

After his conversation with Seth Godin, the speaker's perspective on fear shifts from trying to eliminate it to using it as a compass for identifying and engaging with learning opportunities. He adopts the idea of embracing fear as a natural part of the learning process.

What is the speaker's personal experience with fear in relation to his dream of attending Duke University?

The speaker shares that he felt immense fear during his first year at Duke University, which led him to avoid participation in class discussions and presentations. He attributes this fear to his 'lizard brain' signaling that he was out of his comfort zone.

What advice does the speaker give for dealing with fear in the context of job interviews or performances?

The speaker advises that feeling fear in such situations is natural and human. He suggests that recognizing fear as a signal of a learning opportunity can help individuals to engage with these experiences, learn, and grow, rather than avoiding them due to fear.

How does the speaker relate the concept of 'dancing with fear' to Liz Gilbert's approach in 'Big Magic'?

The speaker relates 'dancing with fear' to Liz Gilbert's idea of keeping fear in the back seat of a car, acknowledging that it cannot be completely removed but should not be in control. This analogy emphasizes the importance of managing fear rather than letting it dictate one's actions.

What is the final message the speaker hopes to convey to the audience about dealing with fear?

The speaker's final message is that dealing with fear is a skill that can be developed and improved over time. He encourages the audience to be aware of their fear responses, make conscious choices to engage with learning opportunities despite fear, and to view fear as a signal for growth rather than an obstacle.

Outlines

00:00

💡 Understanding Fear and Learning

This paragraph discusses how we learn best at the edge of our abilities and slightly outside our comfort zones. It emphasizes that fear, particularly the fear of failure, is a major obstacle to learning. The speaker aims to bridge the gap between scientific understanding of fear and common perceptions, explaining that fear is generated by the amygdala, or 'lizard brain,' which is hardwired to keep us safe by avoiding danger.

05:02

🧠 The Amygdala's Role in Fear

The amygdala, or 'lizard brain,' is introduced as a critical player in our fear response. Located near the brainstem, it triggers quick, reactive fear responses to perceived threats, like ducking when a baseball bat flies into the crowd. However, the amygdala cannot distinguish between real dangers and beneficial challenges, causing us to avoid both. The four elements that trigger fear are identified as uncertainty, attention, change, and struggle.

10:03

🔄 The Paradox of Fear and Learning

Fear's role in both danger avoidance and learning is explored. The four elements that trigger fear are also present in the best learning opportunities, leading to avoidance of beneficial activities like asking questions in class or writing papers on time. Procrastination and choosing easier tasks over challenging ones are examples of how the amygdala steers us away from growth. The speaker uses relatable anecdotes to illustrate these points.

15:04

🏆 Overcoming Fear for Growth

Personal stories from various individuals highlight how fear can prevent us from pursuing opportunities. Examples include a third-grader avoiding playing in the infield and a high school student backing out of a final audition for The Voice. These stories illustrate that fear affects everyone and can lead to missed opportunities for growth. The speaker stresses that understanding and confronting fear is crucial for personal development.

🎤 Facing and Embracing Fear

The speaker shares his own experience with fear, particularly during his first year at Duke University, where fear of not belonging prevented him from participating in class. A pivotal conversation with his hero, Seth Godin, revealed that the goal is not to eliminate fear but to 'dance' with it, using it as a signal of significant, brave endeavors. This shift in perspective helps the speaker and others use fear constructively.

🌍 Changing Perspectives on Fear

The speaker explains how fear should be viewed as a natural response rather than something to be eradicated. Encouraging people to be fearless is unrealistic and creates shame around feeling fear. Instead, recognizing fear as part of the human experience can help us better handle challenging situations. This approach helps individuals understand that fear doesn't indicate unpreparedness but rather an opportunity for growth.

🔄 Practicing Fear Management

Acknowledging that fear is a constant companion, the speaker advocates for practicing fear management as a skill. Referencing Elizabeth Gilbert's concept of keeping fear in the backseat, he emphasizes taking control and seeing learning opportunities instead of threats. This approach requires gradual practice and awareness of choices to spend more time outside our comfort zones, ultimately leading to growth and better learning.

Keywords

💡Comfort Zone

The comfort zone is a psychological state where a person feels safe and at ease, avoiding risks or challenges that may cause discomfort. In the video, it's discussed as a barrier to learning and growth, where fear keeps individuals from stepping out to face challenges that could enhance their abilities. The speaker uses the example of preferring to stay in a low-stakes position in baseball to avoid the fear of making a mistake.

💡Fear

Fear is an emotional response to perceived threats or danger, which can inhibit personal growth by causing avoidance of new experiences. The video emphasizes fear as a primary obstacle to stepping out of one's comfort zone, with examples such as not asking questions in class due to fear of negative judgment.

💡Amygdala

The amygdala is an almond-shaped region of the brain involved in the processing of emotions, particularly those related to fear and survival. In the context of the video, it is referred to as the 'lizard brain' and is responsible for generating fear to protect us from perceived threats, even when those threats are not life-threatening but rather learning opportunities.

💡Lizard Brain

The term 'lizard brain' is a colloquialism for the amygdala's role in our primal, instinctual reactions, particularly fear. The video describes how this part of the brain is designed to keep us safe but can also hinder learning by promoting avoidance of challenges that are essential for growth.

💡Uncertainty

Uncertainty refers to the state of being unsure or lacking information about a situation. The video identifies uncertainty as one of the four triggers that enhance fear, preventing individuals from taking risks necessary for learning, such as the fear of giving a wrong answer in class.

💡Attention

Attention in this context is the focus or notice given to an individual or their actions. The video describes how the fear of drawing attention can cause fear, as people may avoid situations where they might be judged or scrutinized, such as speaking up in a group setting.

💡Struggle

Struggle represents the effort and difficulty encountered in the process of learning or overcoming challenges. The video discusses how the fear of struggle can lead to procrastination and avoidance of tasks, such as writing a paper, as the 'lizard brain' seeks to avoid discomfort.

💡Change

Change refers to the process of becoming different or undergoing a transformation. The video mentions change as a factor that can induce fear, as it disrupts the status quo and requires adaptation, which can be uncomfortable, like choosing to cook a healthy meal instead of the easy option of fast food.

💡Procrastination

Procrastination is the act of delaying or postponing tasks or actions. In the video, it is presented as a tactic of the 'lizard brain' to avoid struggle and discomfort, often resulting in tasks being left until the last minute, such as writing a paper the night before it's due.

💡Growth

Growth in the video refers to personal development and learning that occurs when individuals push beyond their comfort zone. The speaker argues that fear often robs individuals of opportunities for growth, such as a student missing a chance to perform on a singing show due to fear.

💡Dancing with Fear

Dancing with Fear is a metaphor used in the video to describe the process of acknowledging and working with fear rather than trying to eliminate it. The speaker suggests using fear as a compass to identify opportunities for bravery and growth, instead of letting it dictate avoidance of challenges.

Highlights

Learning is most effective when operating at the edge of our abilities and slightly outside our comfort zone.

Fear is a major hurdle to becoming a great learner, stemming from the fear of looking bad, the unknown, and making mistakes.

The amygdala, sometimes referred to as the lizard brain, generates fear for survival but can't distinguish between good and bad challenges.

Four triggers of fear are uncertainty, attention, change, and struggle, which are also present in the best learning opportunities.

Fear can be an indicator of a learning opportunity rather than something to be avoided.

Procrastination often stems from the lizard brain's preference for avoiding struggle and uncertainty.

The lizard brain's tactics of avoiding uncertainty and struggle can limit personal growth and development.

Fear can rob us of opportunities for growth, as illustrated by stories of individuals avoiding challenges due to fear.

Seth Godin's teachings on the lizard brain emphasize that fear is a compass for identifying brave and powerful actions.

Attempting to destroy or defeat the lizard brain is futile; instead, we should learn to dance with it.

Fear should be seen as a natural human response to challenges, not as a sign of weakness or unpreparedness.

The concept of 'dancing with fear' suggests using fear as a signal for engaging in learning experiences.

Liz Gilbert's 'Big Magic' advises keeping fear in the back seat, acknowledging its presence without letting it control our actions.

Dancing with fear is a skill that can be developed and improved over time through practice.

The speaker's personal experience with fear during presentations was transformed by understanding and embracing it.

The speaker encourages incremental steps outside the comfort zone to build resilience and reduce fear over time.

The transcript concludes with the message that everyone can learn to spend more time outside their comfort zone to foster growth.

Transcripts

[Music]

we learn the best when we operate at the

edge of our abilities and a little bit

outside of our comfort zone the truth is

I could go in for a few hours about what

that looks like and how we can do that

but today I want to zoom in on sort of

an underrated angle which is why do we

hate getting out of our comfort zone I

think if you dig into the research of

learning and development it's pretty

clear that one of our biggest hurdles to

become a great learner is fear the fear

of looking bad the fear of the unknown

the fear of messing up that's a huge

reason we definitely prefer it in our

comfort zone the good news is anybody

can learn to beat fear that's a skill

that any of us can develop but the way

that we do that is much different than

you might think my intent today is very

straightforward it's just to bridge the

gap between what the science says about

fear and how we normally think about it

and talk about it first we need to talk

about where fear comes from it's

actually wired in and it comes from a

region of our brain called our amygdala

and some people call this our lizard

brain it doesn't really matter what you

call it we know a few things about this

first everybody has an amygdala it lives

right by our brainstem it's about the

size of two almonds it's there for

survival it's there to keep us alive and

one of its most common tactics to

keeping us alive is it generates fear to

steer us away from danger which is why

if we're at a baseball game and the

batter accidentally throws their bat and

it's flying into the crowd most people

duck that's our lizard brain at play

it's quick and reactive it detects a

threat generates fear we duck it's also

why I can walk around the edge of this

dot and I feel perfectly fine because

it's about two centimeters high if this

was a hundred and fifty feet high I

would be freaking out right now

that's my lizard brain generating fear

saying dude get away from the edge of

the cliff our lizard brain is great at

its job however there's a bit of a

glitch to the system the glitches our

amygdala doesn't really know the

different

between the good challenges and the

dangerous ones in life

and it doesn't know the difference

between the good and bad risks

so it's tactic is really to just avoid

them altogether there are four sort of

triggers that really enhance and create

fear uncertainty attention change in

struggle the idea here is if these four

elements are present fear will be

present now I think we can all agree

that those four elements could

absolutely describe a dangerous

situation but they're also present in

the best learning opportunities as well

they're present when we perform and

compete in art in music learning

involves lots of these things and again

if these four elements are present fear

will be present and more times than not

would we feel fear we find a way to

avoid doing the thing which is excellent

when it comes to danger but not ideal

for learning so yes this keeps us safe

from bats flying at our head but this is

also why we don't like to ask and answer

questions in a group think about it if I

called on you and you raised your hand

to speak up and give an answer what

happens most of the people in the room

go boom and they look at you you have

attention there's also some uncertainty

at play it might be the wrong answer or

a dumb question with uncertainty and

attention comes fear more times than not

we don't ask the question we call that

the lizard won the battle this small

little moment would challenge us and

stretch us out of our comfort zone we

feel fear we don't ask we've all been

there this is why back in the day you

had a paper due in two weeks what day

would you write the paper night before

same every time

procrastination in a big way is coming

from the lizard brain because every day

leading up to the due date we have a

choice to sit down and do the research

and write or watch Netflix which one do

you think my lizard wants Netflix but

let's talk about why through the eyes of

the lizard the world is black and white

it doesn't really know what we're doing

in its eyes it's either I could struggle

right now or not struggle it's always

going to choose to not struggle another

tactic I do

I call it downgrading the struggle like

rather than writing a new article on my

website I'll vacuum my house three times

I'm staying busy but I'm choosing the

option that involves less struggle

uncertainty attention or change this is

why I wake up in the morning and say I

am definitely gonna cook a healthy meal

tonight and then I work all day and I'm

driving home feeling tired and my car

does this really weird thing it sees the

Chipotle and go scoop and pulls him

that's my lizard brain at play in that

moment I'm presented a choice I could

have something salty fatty and delicious

right now or go to the store buy the

ingredients go home and prepare them

which one do you think my lizard wants

Chipotle with extra guac

now I want to be clear that the tactic

of taking what we can get and getting it

now choosing easy over hard instant

gratification that is excellent back in

the day for survival and we didn't know

when our next meal was gonna be it's

great to keep us out of danger but we're

playing a different game now but the

software is the same this is also why

giving this talk is way harder than the

one I did last night in my hotel room

this is also why we've all been in our

basement watching TV for a couple hours

and we know for a fact there are no

monsters in the basement but then you

turn the TV off and you turn the lights

off and then you walk upstairs like this

that's our lizard brain think about that

we know nothing's in the basement but as

soon as it's dark the lizard goes look

I'm gone it's kind of funny the joke

about the problem is that's the force

that's driving lots of our behavior

that's the force that's making lots of

our decisions I guess what I'm getting

at is the tactic of avoiding uncertainty

attention struggle and change is great

if we're in danger but most of our life

is spent not really in danger and in

this case that tactic really robs us of

amazing opportunities to grow I've had

the absolute honour of teaching research

like this and principles like this to

hundreds of groups all around the world

I've worked with major league baseball

teams I've worked with hundreds of

schools students of all ages fortune 500

companies and even inside of a prison

before and when we teach this we ask a

powerful question when has fear robbed

you of an opportunity to grow the

responses I think say a lot one

everybody has a response which means no

matter who we are what we do this

happens fear robbing us of experiences a

third-grader we taught this concept to

them he got up and he shared he said I

play baseball and in every game I tell

my coach I want to play in right field

because no one ever hits the ball to

right field he said I want to play in

the infield but I'm afraid if someone

hits a ball at me I might mess up so I

always play right field everybody can

relate to that story but there is

something we wanted to do could do maybe

even should do but when the time comes

to do it we end up in right field that's

our comfort zone and we've all been

there a high school student shared she

was in the final qualifying round to get

on the voice the singing show and that

she had to sing one more song and if it

went well she could have made it on it

came time to sing the song she freaked

out and left she shared this in front of

her classmates and many of the students

in the room gave her the scrunched up

what are you thinking look and they're

kind of right like singing that song

could have changed her life

here's the truth about fear it's really

easy to sit in a comfortable room and

talk about what we could do and should

do and it's even easier to talk about

what other people could do and should do

like it's easy to say on paper of course

the third graders should play in the

infield he'll be fine and on paper of

course she should have got on the stage

saying the song that's easy to say but

the truth is if we're in their shoes

with their experiences we probably do

the same thing because fear is such a

powerful force the other angle I want to

talk about with her example we don't

know how it would shake down but I think

we can agree on two things you can't

make it on the show if you don't sing

the song just like you can't get the job

if you don't apply and you can't get

into the college unless you send in your

app so fear is robbing us of many

potential outcomes but it also robs us

of something else that's maybe even more

important and that's the experience that

getting on the stage and singing the

song that applying for the job and going

through the interview process that's

those are good experiences whether we

make it or not and fears getting in the

way of that every day no matter who we

are what we do fears robbing us of

opportunities to grow I actually learned

about this topic from my hero that guy

right there his name is Seth Godin he is

my absolute hero and I had the honor of

skyping with him a few years ago and we

had an incredible conversation about

fear he taught me about the lizard brain

and what it does as he was going through

this it rocked my world big time because

as he was teaching me this I was

flashing back to all the times in my

life that fear is messed me up

here's my biggest I actually grew up in

Lander Wyoming which is also called the

middle of nowhere and it was my dream

since about fifth grade to go to school

at Duke University and I was obsessed

with that from fifth to twelfth grade I

chased that with everything I had long

story short I was accepted into the into

the school probably because they needed

someone from way

but I cut in and I got out to Durham

North Carolina for my first year of

college thousands of miles from home I

was way out of my comfort zone which

meant there was a lot of fear I felt

like everybody there was smarter than me

and better than me and richer than me

and that I didn't really belong during

my first year of classes at my dream

school I never said a word in a class I

never asked a question never answered a

question didn't participate in

discussion on the days I was supposed to

get up and present like this

I skipped why because my lizard was at

the wheel generating lots of fear I felt

if I gave the wrong answer they were

gonna know I'm the guy from Wyoming that

doesn't belong here

the way I see it fear robbed me of a

year of development at an incredible

school so let's go back to this

conversation with Seth as he's teaching

me this and I flashback to that I think

you can start to guess what I asked him

next my question was how do you get rid

of this because my thinking was fear

made me bad at learning if I removed the

fear then I could be good at learning so

the question I asked is how do you kill

the lizard brain his response changed my

life

he said I'm thrilled you asked the

question that way because that is

exactly the wrong question that if

you're seeking to destroy defeat conquer

the lizard brain you will fail your

brain is nothing but a chemistry

experiment it's electricity and

chemicals and when you push back on the

lizard brain when you try to bargain and

reason with the lizard brain it freaks

out it inflames

you cannot win but what you can do is

dance with the lizard brain what you can

do is realize that our lizard brain is a

compass and then when it freaks out it's

telling you that you're on to something

that you're about to do something that's

brave and bold and powerful and that we

should listen to it by doing the

opposite of what it wants us to do I

think if we zoom out this concept of

dancing with fear and using it as a

compass is brilliant if we know our

lizard

absolutely wants us to stay in our

comfort zone if we ever do get out of

our comfort zone of course it's going to

freak out the freak out is a signal that

we're in a learning experience if we

know how it works so now I'm standing up

here in front of you saying we should

use fear and feel fear and to be honest

that's a 180 from how I used to talk

about this I used to travel around

telling people to be fearless and to not

be afraid now that we understand how

fear works and where it comes from think

about the problems of that approach I

think there are two big ones in telling

someone to be fearless we're really

telling them to do something that can't

be done that if we're doing something

that involves uncertainty attention

struggle and change we're going to feel

fear and the only way to feel no fear is

to not do it

not care or hold back and that's not

what we want so logically if I care and

it involves uncertainty attention change

and struggle I'm gonna feel fear I can

name it what I want but that feeling is

there

I think the second problem is this

creates shame around fear and can make

it worse let's say you're sitting in the

lobby before your dream job interview

you're sitting there before you go in do

you care about that interview probably

is there some uncertainty yeah you might

get it you might not there's some

attention there struggle are you gonna

feel a little something sewn without a

doubt the problem is if everyone around

you is telling you you have to be

fearless don't be afraid do you see how

that can start to snowball and create

shame you might be sitting there and go

oh I'm not supposed to feel like this

something must be wrong I must not be

ready no one else feels like this and

all of that can snowball and make the

fear worse but it's all coming from this

flawed idea of I'm not supposed to feel

fear the big upgrade we're trying to

make is for people to understand feeling

fear before a big job interview or a

performance or a talk anything that

stretches us and challenges us it

doesn't mean something's wrong it

doesn't mean we're not ready

it means we're a human that's the human

response with our old-school approach to

fear we look at it is a very negative

thing so we assume the presence of fear

means I can't or shouldn't do this with

our upgraded approach we realized it's

natural it's human and with that

knowledge you see we're more likely to

put ourselves in those situations we're

more likely to do the thing which helps

us learn grow and get better to be

honest with you no topic that I've

learned about learning has helped me

more than this one that before that

conversation with Seth I was an absolute

mess before during and after

presentations like this and I assumed

that all the fear that I felt was

because I was too young or not smart

enough to do this literally since the

day he gave me permission to feel fear

it's totally changed the way that I do

this but it doesn't mean the fear goes

away I've done almost 900 talks like

this in the last three years

dancing with fear is a skill so the more

that we do it the better we get but

speaking from experience the fear

doesn't go anywhere

my lizard is freaking out right now this

is a skill this is something we can all

get better at I think we need to steal a

page from Liz Gilbert's brilliant book

big magic where she talks a lot about

fear in fact she has a letter to fear

and she talks about how we need to keep

fear in the back seat of our car knowing

that we can't kick it out of the car we

have to keep it in the back seat I think

it's brilliant because the problem is

when the lizard is at the wheel it

detects many learning opportunities as

threats every problem challenge obstacle

or change through the eyes of the lizard

is a threat when we detect threats we

find a way to avoid them if we can put

the lizard in the back seat and we take

the wheel we realize most of those

things are actually opportunities when

we frame them as opportunities we're

more likely to do them experience them

and it helps us learn grow and get

better over time once again this is a

skill which means it's something that we

can build up to I'm not saying go home

tonight and pick the

that freaks you out the most and do it

tomorrow but I am saying in treating

this as a skill we can start to get reps

and practice of feeling fear and asking

the question anyways feeling fear and

volunteering for the project a little

bit outside of our comfort zone the more

that we do that we're building that

muscle for the bigger leaps we'll make

later nobody is perfect with this my

lizard brain still wins lots and lots of

battles the idea is to be aware of the

process and aware of our choices and

work to spend a little more time outside

of our comfort zone and that is

something that we can all do I hope this

will help you do that

thank you

[Applause]