Women should rethink their Inheritance | Leila Seth | TEDxGatewayWomen

Summary

In this powerful speech, the first female chief justice of a state high court in India recounts her journey from a financially struggling childhood to her legal career, overcoming gender biases. She highlights the persistence in her pursuit of law and the societal challenges, particularly the dowry system's impact on women's lives and the importance of inheritance rights. She emphasizes the need for awareness, assertion, attitude change, and action to eradicate the dowry curse and promote gender equality, urging for daughters' rightful inheritance instead.

Takeaways

• 📅 The speaker recalls the hardships of September 1942, including the death of her father and the struggles her mother faced to educate her children without professional training.
• 🎓 The speaker pursued higher education in law during her time in England and faced initial resistance from a male-dominated legal profession.
• 🚫 The speaker highlights the persistence required to overcome societal and professional barriers, including the dismissive attitudes of a senior lawyer towards women in law.
• 👩‍⚖️ Despite the challenges, the speaker became a successful lawyer and was appointed as the first woman chief justice of a state high court in India in 1991.
• 💍 The speaker emphasizes the importance of a simple and dowry-free marriage, which she experienced and has maintained for 64 years.
• 🤔 The script raises the question of whether laws can change attitudes, especially in a patriarchal society like India, where mindsets are deeply ingrained.
• 🚫 The Dowry Prohibition Act of 1961 was ineffective in stopping the practice of dowry, as it continued covertly with demands escalating before and even after weddings.
• 📜 The Hindu Succession Act of 1956 granted daughters equal inheritance rights, but societal norms and reluctance to assert these rights persisted.
• 🔗 The speaker recounts an incident where even aware women chose not to claim their inheritance to avoid conflict with their brothers, illustrating the deep-seated cultural practices.
• 🌟 The speaker advocates for awareness, assertion, attitude change, and action as the four key steps to combat the dowry system and promote gender equality.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The script concludes with a plea from a daughter to her parents to treat her equally, nurture her, and allow her the freedom to control her own destiny.

Q & A

What significant event occurred in September 1942 for the speaker?

The speaker's father passed away just a few weeks before her twelfth birthday.

How did the speaker's mother manage to educate her and her siblings after their father's death?

The speaker's mother, without professional training, relied on friends and scholarships to afford their school fees, treating all her children equally.

What opportunity did the speaker take advantage of when she moved to England with her husband in 1954?

The speaker studied law for three years while living in England.

Why was it challenging for the speaker to join Sachin Chaudhary's chambers when she returned to India?

Sachin Chaudhary was initially against women joining the legal profession and tried to dissuade her by suggesting she focus on her family instead.

What milestone did the speaker achieve in 1991?

In 1991, the speaker became the first woman to be the chief justice of a state high court in India.

How did the speaker's marriage differ from societal expectations regarding dowry?

The speaker's marriage was a semi-arranged one where her fiancé and his family did not demand a dowry, and they had a simple celebration.

What historical practice has contributed to the negative perception of having daughters in India?

The historical practice of dowry, where parents had to provide gifts to the groom and his family, led to the perception of daughters as a burden.

What was the purpose of the Dowry Prohibition Act of 1961?

The Dowry Prohibition Act of 1961 was enacted to prevent the practice of dowry, which was causing financial hardship and even violence against brides.

How did the speaker's experience as a judge at the Delhi High Court highlight the ongoing issue of unequal inheritance?

The speaker recounts an incident where three brothers wanted to divide their deceased father's property among themselves, excluding their sisters, despite the law stating equal inheritance rights.

What four-word mantra does the speaker propose to combat the dowry system and promote gender equality?

The speaker proposes the mantra 'Inheritance, not dowry' to emphasize the importance of equal inheritance rights for daughters.

What is the speaker's final appeal to parents regarding the treatment of their daughters?

The speaker appeals to parents to treat their daughters equally, nurture them, and allow them the freedom to choose and care for themselves without being confined by gender stereotypes.

Outlines

00:00

📚 Overcoming Adversity and Breaking Barriers in Law

The speaker, Radha Patel, recounts her childhood struggles after her father's death and her mother's determination to provide education for all her children without bias. Radha's journey takes her to England, where she seizes the opportunity to study law, overcoming initial resistance from a male-dominated profession. Despite societal norms and direct discouragement from a senior lawyer, she persists and eventually becomes the first woman chief justice of a state high court in India. Her narrative also touches on her stance against dowry, highlighting her own marriage without dowry demands and her advocacy for women's rights and equality.

05:03

💍 The Dowry System: A Persistent Social Curse

This paragraph delves into the historical context and evolution of the dowry system in India, illustrating the economic and emotional burdens it places on families, particularly those with multiple daughters. The Dowry Prohibition Act of 1961 is mentioned, noting its failure to eradicate the practice due to deeply ingrained social attitudes. The speaker provides a personal anecdote involving a senior judge who admits to giving dowry for his daughter's marriage, despite its illegality, underscoring the complexity of changing societal norms. The paragraph emphasizes the need for a faster shift in mindset towards gender equality and the importance of inheritance rights for women.

10:06

🏡 Inheritance Rights and the Fight Against Dowry

The speaker discusses the expansion of inheritance rights for daughters in India, which now include both self-acquired and ancestral properties, unless willed away by the father. She recounts a court case where she insisted on equal distribution of inheritance among siblings, despite the sisters' initial reluctance due to societal pressures and familial relationships. The narrative stresses the importance of awareness, assertion of rights, and attitude change to combat the dowry system and promote gender equality. The speaker encourages women to demand their rightful inheritance and calls on men to support this cause.

15:07

🌟 A Call for Equality and the Power of Opportunity

In the concluding paragraph, the speaker uses a poignant appeal from a daughter to her parents, urging them to treat her equally and provide her with the same opportunities as her brother. The daughter's plea for a chance to prove her worth and to care for her parents in their old age is a powerful testament to the potential of women when given equal opportunities. The paragraph ends with a rallying cry for the audience to embrace the mantra of 'Inheritance, not dowry,' and to act upon it, fostering a society that values and supports the empowerment of women.

Keywords

💡Dowry

A dowry is a form of property or money that a bride's family gives to the groom or his family upon marriage. In the context of the video, dowry is depicted as a curse and a significant societal issue in India, causing economic strain and even violence against women. The script mentions the Dowry Prohibition Act of 1961, which was intended to stop the practice, but it continues due to deeply ingrained attitudes.

💡Inheritance

Inheritance refers to the legal process by which assets or property are passed down to heirs upon the death of an individual. The video emphasizes the importance of equal inheritance rights for daughters, as established by the Hindu Succession Act of 1956, which allows daughters to inherit an equal share of their father's self-acquired property. The script discusses how societal norms have often prevented women from asserting these rights.

💡Patriarchy

Patriarchy is a social system in which men hold primary power and predominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, and social privilege. The video discusses the challenges of changing attitudes in a patriarchal society like India, where women's rights to education, work, and inheritance have historically been suppressed.

💡Stridhan

Stridhan is a traditional form of bride's wealth in India, which includes personal property such as jewelry given to a woman by her natal family at the time of her marriage. The script explains how stridhan was originally the bride's personal property but was often taken away and given to the groom's sister, highlighting the evolution of dowry practices.

💡Legal Profession

The legal profession encompasses the roles and responsibilities of individuals who practice law, including lawyers, judges, and other legal experts. The video's speaker faced resistance when she wanted to join the legal profession as a woman, reflecting the gender biases of the time. However, she persisted and eventually became the first woman chief justice of a state high court in India.

💡Gender Discrimination

Gender discrimination refers to unequal treatment or perception based on an individual's gender. The video script illustrates this through the practice of dowry and the historical lack of inheritance rights for women, which are both forms of gender discrimination that have severe social consequences.

💡Assertion

Assertion is the act of standing up for one's rights or beliefs. In the video, the speaker encourages women to assert their legal rights to inheritance, rather than accepting the traditional practice of dowry. The script provides an example where women, despite knowing their rights, chose not to assert them to avoid conflict with their brothers.

💡Daughter

The term 'daughter' in the video is used to represent the female child in a family and the societal expectations and treatment she may receive. The script discusses the historical preference for sons over daughters due to economic burdens like dowry and inheritance practices that have disadvantaged daughters.

💡Chief Justice

A Chief Justice is the head of a court or the highest judicial officer in a jurisdiction. The video's speaker became the first woman to hold this position in a state high court in India in 1991, which was a significant milestone in breaking gender barriers in the legal profession.

💡Education

Education is the process of acquiring knowledge, skills, values, and habits. The video highlights the importance of education for all children, regardless of gender, as the speaker's mother ensured all her children, including the speaker, received an education despite financial hardships.

💡Sisters

In the context of the video, 'sisters' refers to female siblings who, according to the law, are entitled to an equal share of inheritance. The script narrates an incident where sisters relinquished their legal rights to inheritance to avoid conflict, illustrating the social pressures and attitudes that can override legal rights.

Highlights

The speaker's memory of September 1942, marked by her father's death and the financial struggles her mother faced to educate her four children.

The speaker's mother treated her children equally, valuing their education and desire for excellence over gender.

The speaker pursued higher education in law while living in England with her husband, utilizing the opportunity to study abroad.

The initial resistance faced by the speaker from a senior lawyer, Sachin Chaudhary, who was not in favor of women in law, and her persistence in joining his chambers.

The humorous exchange between the speaker and Mr. Chaudhary, highlighting societal expectations of women at the time.

The speaker's appointment as a judge at the Delhi High Court after 20 years of practice, emphasizing her professional achievements.

Becoming the first woman to be chief justice of a state high court in 1991, a milestone in her career and for women in law.

The speaker's personal experience of a dowry-free marriage and the societal shift needed to eliminate dowry demands.

The historical context of dowry in India, its evolution, and the negative impact on families and society.

The Dowry Prohibition Act of 1961 and its ineffectiveness in stopping dowry practices despite being illegal.

The speaker's personal account of a senior judge's decision to give dowry despite the law, reflecting societal pressures.

The Hindu Succession Act of 1956 and its intent to provide equal inheritance rights to daughters, which was not effectively implemented.

The reluctance of women to assert their legal rights to inheritance, illustrated by the story of three sisters and their brothers.

The expansion of daughters' inheritance rights in 2005 to include ancestral property, indicating progress in legal rights.

The tragic story of Sudha Goel to highlight the extreme consequences of dowry-related violence.

The speaker's four-word mantra for change: awareness, assertion, attitude change, and action.

A call to action for parents to treat their daughters equally and provide them with the same opportunities and rights as their sons.

Transcripts

Transcriber: Radha Patel Reviewer: Tanya Cushman

The month of September 1942 is etched in my memory.

It was a few weeks before my twelfth birthday,

and my father had just died.

My mother, who had no professional training,

found it very hard to spend the fees for our school fees.

And my three brothers and me,

she took the help of friends and scholarships

in order to educate us.

She didn't make a difference between my brothers and me.

All she wanted was that all of us should excel.

When I was 20, I had a semi-arranged marriage,

and my husband was posted, in 1954, to England,

and I went with him.

And I took advantage of being there for three years and studied law.

When I returned to India,

I was required to train with a senior before I could practice law.

So I decided I should get the best lawyer,

join the best lawyer,

and I zeroed down on someone called Sachin Chaudhary.

But it was extremely difficult to get an appointment with him.

After great difficulty, I did,

and I was full of trepidation when I went to meet him.

But I put on a brave front, just as I am doing now.

(Laughter)

(Applause)

He had some idea why I had come,

but he wanted to be completely clear.

So I told him that I wanted to practice law

and I wanted to join his chambers.

He was not in favor of women joining the law,

so he tried to dissuade me.

He said,

"Young woman, instead of joining the legal profession,

go and get married."

(Laughter)

So I said to him,

"Sir, I am already married."

(Laughter)

"Then go and have a child," he advised.

"I already have a child."

(Laughter)

"It's not fair to the child to be alone,

so you should have a second child."

(Laughter)

I said, "Mr. Chaudhary, I have two children."

(Laughter)

So, taken aback for the third time, he said,

"Come and join my chambers.

You're a persistent young woman, and you will do well at the bar."

After about 20 years of practice,

I was appointed a judge at the Delhi High Court,

and in 1991,

I was the first woman to be chief justice of a state high court.

(Applause)

As I mentioned earlier,

I was 20 when I got married,

and my fiancee and his family never demanded a dowry or anything else.

We had a simple celebration.

We served vanilla ice cream and salted cashew nuts.

But we still had fun, and we enjoyed ourselves.

So, you can see, that you don't need anything extra.

But I, now, I'm happily married for the last 64 years.

(Applause)

Every woman, every mother, wants her daughter to be married.

And when she meets a young man,

she tries to size him up to find out if he's a suitable boy.

But at the back of her mind is worry.

Does he want a dowry?

If so, how much?

In fact, it's the curse of dowry

that makes parents not want to have girls.

In the old days, when girls and boys didn't have equal inheritance,

a young girl was given stridhan, which is bride's wealth,

at the time of her marriage.

It was something that was passed from a mother to her daughter

and consisted of jewelry.

It was her personal property.

But even that was often taken away by the bride-groom's parents

and given to the groom's sister when she was getting married.

So the bride had nothing.

Slowly, the prevalence of dowries started.

This meant gifts were given

not only to the bride

but to the bride-groom and to his family.

And demands, dowry demands,

were negotiated at the time of an arranged marriage.

Parents were worried as to how they would meet these demands,

which sometimes increased from day to day and from hour to hour

as the wedding date approached.

Sometimes, just as the wedding ceremony was about to take place,

a fresh demand would be made.

It was a great trauma for parents,

especially those who had more than one daughter.

They were bankrupt, spent more than they had,

and the extortion sometimes continued even after the wedding.

So instead of loving their daughters and wanting to have them,

they considered them a curse.

And they resorted to something like female feticide

or female infanticide.

In order to prevent this evil of dowry,

an act was passed.

It was called the Dowry Prohibition Act,

1961.

Before the act, dowries were displayed openly.

After the act, the displays stopped.

But the giving and taking of dowry continued,

and the demand for ostentatious functions and feasts

by the bride-groom's family,

to be paid for by the bride's family,

continued.

This was really terrible.

And very few parents

would reject a young man

if he or his family demanded a dowry.

Most would not,

even though they knew it was illegal to give or take a dowry.

Let me give you an example.

The year was 1991.

A very senior Supreme Court of India judge

had arranged his daughter's wedding.

I asked him,

"Are you going to give a dowry?"

Remember,

this was 30 years after the passing of the Dowry Prohibition Act.

He was quiet.

And then he said,

"I'll tell you the honest truth.

I will indeed give a dowry for my daughter

because I cannot sacrifice her happiness and her life.

In my community, she cannot get married without a dowry.

But I promise you, I will not take a dowry for my son."

This is not what I wanted to hear,

but at least it was half a step forward.

So what do you think?

Can the passing of laws change attitudes?

In India, with a very patriarchal society,

changing attitudes and changing mindsets is extremely difficult,

and it's a slow process, but we need to fast-forward it.

I had hoped

that with the succession laws being changed

and daughters getting some inheritance rights,

the law would have had some effect on the evil of dowry.

In 1956,

the Hindu Succession Act was passed,

and in that year,

it was provided in the act that daughters and sons

would get equally

from their father's property which was self-acquired.

This, of course, should have made a difference.

But it didn't seem to have done that.

In fact, women were not willing to assert.

Let me tell you of an incident.

I was a judge at the Delhi High Court.

Three young men came for me and wanted -

their father had died,

he hadn't left a will,

and they wanted their property to be divided into three parts.

I found they had three sisters.

So I said to them,

"I will divide it into six parts because that's what the law says,

and each sibling should get one share."

They protested.

They said,

"Our sisters are married,

our sisters have got dowries,

and they have given us relinquishment deeds."

I was not happy, so I insisted they bring the sisters to court

because I was not sure

whether the sisters had been coerced into giving their relinquishment deeds

or they didn't know the law.

When the women came, I asked them,

"Do you know the law?"

And they said, "Yes."

"So then why are you giving up your share?"

And this is what they said:

"We do not want to have any problems with our brothers

or spoil our relationships with our brothers

because if in the future we need anything of any sort,

to whom shall we turn except our brothers, our natal family?"

So they knew what was happening.

And I said to the young men,

"If you were six brothers,

you would have happily shared and got one-sixth each,

so why are you depriving your sisters?"

But they were adamant,

and their sisters also were not willing to withdraw their relinquishment deeds.

So, though they were aware, they were not willing to assert.

Many people are not aware that since 2005 -

that's almost 10 years ago -

the daughters' rights of inheritance have been widened

and now include not only the self-acquired property of the father

but also the ancestral property -

unless, of course, the father wills away the property to someone else.

So fathers, we tell you,

do not will the property away to your sons or daughters.

Make sure your daughters get their legitimate share.

(Applause)

You know, it reminds me of the story of Sudha Goel

because daughters need to have control of their property,

they need to feel secure,

and Sudha Goel had been given a dowry.

One December night, the neighbors heard her screaming:

"Bachao! Bachao! Save me! Save me!"

So they rushed and forced their way into the flat

and found her in flames.

Her mother-in-law and her husband were simply sitting there.

She said, "These people have killed me.

They have taken my gold and everything."

There are hundreds of such cases in India every year.

How do we do it?

How do we take steps to stop this?

I think that I can summarize it in four words.

First, awareness.

Second, assertion.

Third, attitude change.

And fourth, action.

So, sisters,

don't be blackmailed by - emotionally blackmailed by your brothers.

Don't take dowries; don't take after dowries.

Demand your inheritance.

Brothers, husbands, and fathers,

make sure that your daughter gets her legitimate share.

And make sure that she has that confidence that is important for her.

Do the legal thing, not the illegal.

So when you look forward,

make sure your daughters get what they deserve.

You should not let your daughters down,

and they will not let you down.

(Applause)

So this is the mantra:

Inheritance, not dowry.

Inheritance, not dowry.

Repeat it, act upon it, and get others to act upon it as well.

I'd like to end with an appeal by a daughter to her parents.

"Father, why do you discriminate against me

when I can be as good as my brother?

Mother, nurture, nourish, and educate me,

and you will see that I will not be a burden

but will control my own destiny.

And you will have nothing to fear when Brother is not there.

I will look after both of you in your old age.

I ask only to be treated equally.

Will you not dare?

So that I have the freedom to choose and the right to care

and am no longer the prisoner of my own gender,

unable to resist or retaliate against injustice.

Oh Father, give me a chance.

Just give me a chance.

Oh Mother, break the bonds of tradition

and let me into the sunlight to dance, to dance, to dance."

(Applause)