Conquest is a Film About the Weirdest D&D Game Ever

Summary

In this episode of Sick Flicks, Mike Bracken, aka the Horror Geek, reviews Lucio Fulci's 1983 sword and sorcery film, 'Conquest.' Bracken humorously critiques the movie's chaotic plot, shoddy effects, and bizarre elements, likening it to a mix of 'Conan,' 'Clash of the Titans,' and 'Star Wars.' Despite its flaws, 'Conquest' is praised for its outrageousness and gory scenes, earning a three barf bag rating. Bracken's entertaining commentary highlights the film's cult appeal and Fulci's unique style, making it a must-watch for fans of outrageous cinema.

Takeaways

• 🎮 The video script is a humorous review of 'Conquest', a 1983 film directed by Lucio Fulci, known for his horror movies.
• 🔥 'Conquest' is described as an unusual departure for Fulci, blending elements of 'Conan', 'Clash of the Titans', and 'Star Wars', but not as good as any of those.
• 🤣 The reviewer, Mike Bracken, uses humor and sarcasm to highlight the film's absurdity and poor production quality.
• 🎭 The film features a mix of topless women, cheap special effects, and frequent use of the 'Full Gi zoom', a signature shot by Lucio Fulci.
• 🏆 Despite its flaws, the movie is said to have a 'gleeful insanity' that makes it entertaining for devoted Fulci fans.
• 🎬 The script mentions several scenes with odd and nonsensical elements, such as a topless C-3PO lookalike and a 'running of the sasquatches'.
• 🎲 The review points out the film's lack of continuity and coherence, with characters and plot points appearing and disappearing without explanation.
• 💔 The emotional impact of the film is questioned, with the reviewer suggesting that the characters' relationships and actions are not convincing.
• 👻 The script includes several references to Fulci's horror roots and the contrast with the fantasy setting of 'Conquest'.
• 🏆 The review concludes with 'Conquest' receiving a 'three barf bag rating' for its gore, which is considered decent but not up to Fulci's horror standards.
• 📽️ The video is sponsored by patrons and encourages viewers to support the reviewer on Patreon for more content.

Q & A

What is the title of the movie discussed in the video script?

The movie discussed in the video script is 'Conquest'.

Who is the director of 'Conquest'?

The director of 'Conquest' is Lucio Fulci, often misspelled as 'Lucio Fulgie' or 'Fulgi' in the script.

What year was 'Conquest' released?

'Conquest' was released in 1983.

What genre does 'Conquest' belong to, according to the script?

According to the script, 'Conquest' is a sword and sorcery flick, which is a departure from Lucio Fulci's usual horror genre.

What are some of the elements that the script suggests 'Conquest' borrows from other films?

The script suggests that 'Conquest' borrows elements from 'Conan', 'Clash of the Titans', and 'Star Wars'.

What is the general tone of the video script towards 'Conquest'?

The general tone of the video script towards 'Conquest' is humorous and critical, highlighting the movie's absurdity and low-quality effects.

What are some of the humorous observations made by the script's narrator about 'Conquest'?

Some humorous observations include the poor quality of the film's special effects, the nonsensical plot, and the frequent use of backlighting and 'Full Gi zooms'.

What is the role of George Rivera in 'Conquest'?

George Rivera plays a character in 'Conquest' who uses bone nunchucks and is involved in several combat scenes.

What is the significance of the 'barf bag rating' mentioned in the script?

The 'barf bag rating' is a humorous metric used by the narrator to rate the gore level in Lucio Fulci's movies, with 'Conquest' receiving a three barf bag rating.

What is the final rating given to 'Conquest' in terms of gore and why?

The final rating given to 'Conquest' in terms of gore is three barf bags, indicating that while it has some gore, it does not meet the high standards of Fulci's classic horror output.

Who is the narrator of the video script and what is his online persona?

The narrator of the video script is Mike Bracken, who adopts the persona of 'the Horror Geek'.

Outlines

00:00

🎬 Introduction to Lucio Fulci's 'Conquest'

The script opens with a tongue-in-cheek introduction to a hypothetical film directed by Lucio Fulci, known for horror, but here venturing into sword and sorcery with 'Conquest'. The film is humorously compared to a blend of 'Conan', 'Clash of the Titans', and 'Star Wars', but with a unique twist of Fulci's signature gore. The host, Mike Bracken, sets the stage for a review that promises to explore the film's eccentricities, including its lack of a coherent plot, overuse of full-gi zooms, and topless women. The video is sponsored by patrons, and viewers are encouraged to support the channel through Patreon for ad-free content.

05:02

🤔 A Bizarre Journey Through 'Conquest'

The summary delves into the chaotic narrative of 'Conquest', highlighting the film's nonsensical plot and peculiar special effects. It describes scenes featuring characters like 'Topless sexy C3PO' and 'Dollar General Chewbacca', which contribute to the film's absurdity. The review pokes fun at the film's low production values, such as grainy print and out-of-focus shots, while also appreciating its unintentional entertainment value. The host humorously recounts the film's action sequences, including George Rivera's fight with 'wookies' and the protagonist's various realizations about mundane tasks, adding a layer of levity to the summary.

10:03

🏹 The Unraveling of 'Conquest's' Plot

This section of the script continues the exploration of 'Conquest', focusing on the film's attempt to establish a plot amidst its chaotic presentation. It details the protagonist's journey, including encounters with strange creatures, battles, and the discovery of a magic plant. The summary also mentions the film's use of backlighting and the introduction of new characters, such as 'Sexy C-3PO' and 'Brian May', adding to the film's surreal atmosphere. The host humorously comments on the film's continuity issues, special effects, and the protagonist's repeated realizations about forgotten tasks, providing a satirical take on the film's absurdity.

15:05

🏆 The Climax and Conclusion of 'Conquest'

The final part of the script wraps up the review of 'Conquest' with a summary of its climax and conclusion. It describes the protagonist's final battle, which is humorously noted to be a two-minute afterthought, and the film's quick wrap-up. The host reflects on the film's gore content, giving it a 'three barf bag rating' for its creative, albeit not up to Fulci's horror standards, special effects. The review ends with the host's signature sign-off, inviting viewers to check out other reviews and promising more content that embraces the 'splatter' genre.

Keywords

💡Lucio Fulci

Lucio Fulci is an Italian director known for his work in the horror genre. In the context of this video, he is mentioned as the director of the film 'Conquest,' which is a departure from his usual horror films. The script humorously refers to him as 'Folgi' and 'Fulgie,' indicating the video's lighthearted critique of his work.

💡Conquest (1983)

Conquest is a film directed by Lucio Fulci, released in 1983. The video discusses this film as a unique entry in Fulci's filmography, being a sword and sorcery flick rather than a horror movie. It is characterized by its 'gleeful insanity' and is compared to other films like 'Conan' and 'Clash of the Titans.'

💡Sword and Sorcery

Sword and sorcery is a subgenre of fantasy that emphasizes adventure and combat, often featuring magic and mythical creatures. The video describes 'Conquest' as a sword and sorcery film, indicating its focus on these elements, despite being directed by a horror filmmaker.

💡Gore

Gore refers to graphic violence or bloodshed, typically seen in horror films. The script uses the term 'gore' to describe the level of violence and special effects in 'Conquest,' even though it's not a horror film. The video's host, Mike Bracken, is referred to as the 'horror geek,' and he evaluates 'Conquest' based on its gore content.

💡Star Wars

Star Wars is a popular science fiction franchise. The script humorously notes that 'Conquest' has elements that feel like a blend of 'Star Wars,' particularly in the scene where characters are depicted in a manner reminiscent of Wookiees from the Star Wars series.

💡Clash of the Titans

Clash of the Titans is a 1981 fantasy film known for its mythological themes and creatures. The video compares 'Conquest' to 'Clash of the Titans,' suggesting that Fulci's film shares similar fantastical elements and epic battles.

💡Gore Geek

A 'gore geek' is a colloquial term for someone who enjoys graphic, violent, or gory content, typically in films. The host, Mike Bracken, identifies himself as a 'gore geek,' indicating his interest in and expertise on films with gory or horror elements.

💡Barf Bag Rating

The 'barf bag rating' is a humorous metric used by the host to rate the intensity of gore in a film. It's a playful way to quantify how much a film might make someone feel nauseous or uncomfortable due to its graphic content. The video uses this rating to discuss the level of gore in 'Conquest.'

💡Zombie

Zombie is a term referring to the undead, a common trope in horror films. The script mentions 'Zombie' as one of Lucio Fulci's classic horror films, indicating the video's focus on Fulci's horror work and the contrast with 'Conquest.'

💡Frazetta

Frank Frazetta was an American illustrator known for his depictions of muscular heroes and exotic landscapes, often used in fantasy and science fiction. The script references Frazetta in describing the film's visuals, suggesting that 'Conquest' has a similar style of dramatic and highly detailed imagery.

💡Viking Funeral

A Viking funeral is a burial custom in which a deceased person is burned on a ship. The script uses the term to describe a scene in 'Conquest,' adding a layer of humor and indicating the film's fantastical elements and the host's appreciation for such scenes.

Highlights

Introduction to 'Conquest', a film by Lucio Fulci, known for its departure from his usual horror genre.

Comparison of 'Conquest' to 'Conan', 'Clash of the Titans', and 'Star Wars', with a unique blend of elements.

The film's chaotic plot structure, with a main plot that is quickly abandoned after being found.

Mention of the film's climax being a two-minute afterthought, contrasting with the rest of the movie.

Description of the film's excessive use of topless women, cheap effects, and full-gi zooms.

Sponsor acknowledgment for the video, with a call to support the creator on Patreon.

Humoristic critique of the film's opening scene, comparing it to landing a plane with light brights.

Commentary on the film's poor cinematography, including soft focus and double exposure.

Analysis of the film's absurd character introductions, such as 'Topless Sexy C3PO' and 'Dollar General Chewbacca'.

Discussion of the film's nonsensical scenes, such as characters pole-vaulting into the scene.

Musing on the film's bizarre narrative choices, like characters forgetting mundane tasks amidst chaos.

Critique of the film's special effects, comparing them to a Frazetta painting done by someone with no hands.

Comment on the film's continuity errors, such as characters' injuries appearing in different legs.

The film's meta-commentary on Fulci's own work, with a scene that mirrors 'Zombie 3'.

Humor about the film's sound design, likening it to Saturday afternoon Kung Fu movies.

Final thoughts on 'Conquest', acknowledging its failure to meet conventional standards but embracing its charm.

Rating 'Conquest' with three barf bags for its gore, despite it not being Fulci's best.

Recommendation to watch 'Conquest' for its unique insanity, despite its flaws.

Transcripts

ever wondered what a d d game run by

luchio fulgi would look like well wonder

no more spoiler alert the answer is

awesome welcome to sick flicks where i

take a deep dive into the cinematic

sewer to help you embrace your inner

gore geek i'm mike bracken aka the

horror geek and today we're tackling

lucio fulchi's sword and sorcery flick

conquest released in 1983 conquest was

an odd departure from fulto's usual

horror fair it feels sort of like conan

merged with clash of the titans with a

healthy dose of star wars mixed in and

it's not even close to being as good as

any of those movies what conquest has

going for it is its gleeful insanity it

spends half the movie looking for the

main plot finds it and then immediately

dumps it it features a climax that's

basically a two-minute afterthought but

it's got plenty of topless women cheap

looking effects and more than enough

full gi zooms to make even the most

devoted folgi files happy but can

conquest serve up enough splatter to

earn the godfather and gore another five

part bag rating let's get to the gore

and find out oh and before we get

started today's video is sponsored by

patrons ed aborn ethan dusseau and matt

norsia sorry if i butchered anyone's

name if you'd like to sponsor some

videos and free me from the shackles of

youtube's tyranny you'll find a link to

my patreon in the pinned comment

description below and now let's get

bloody we fade in on whatever the hell

this is i thought i was watching a movie

not landing a plane oh it's a light

bright do you kids even remember light

brights christ i'm old also i'd totally

buy a new light bright if they let me

recreate fulchi gore scenes with it and

our first scene has soft focus we're off

to a great start plus ghosts apparently

or someone really [ __ ] up the film

processing i mean i don't want to alarm

anyone but i don't think this wedding

videographer is getting paid for this

work even with the double exposure and

super soft adult film focus this wig and

beard is hilarious i'd say if you squint

real hard this is like modern day brian

may hanging out with young brian may but

you don't even have to squint thanks to

all the vaseline smeared on this lens

o'brien is just here to deliver some

prophecy to young brian you must go

forth on an epic quest to find the red

special and defeat the evil forces of

disco and bring rock to the world

as a party gift future brian gives him

this bow i don't know not even three

minutes in and i'm seeing a lot of

drawbacks to this movie and double full

gi zoom god damn this movie has it all

and we haven't even got to the credits

anyway with the exposition done o'brien

is like take a bow wait i mean bow

english is weird then they vanish and

credits they spared no expense on this

title card hey george rivera is in this

i hope it's better than werewolf and

andreaki pinty we last saw him in a

blade in the dark

all this sweet music comes courtesy of

claudio simon eddy who clearly didn't

want to split his paycheck with the rest

of goblin these are literally the

laziest credits ever white text on a

blurry out of focus freeze frame

background an italian spanish mexican

co-production oh boy and directed by

lucio fulgie god i've missed you luchio

with the credit's over we still haven't

figured out how to get a clear in focus

shot wait a minute i thought this was

vulchi's conan riff not his dances with

wolves riff i don't even know what's

going on here but basically topless sexy

c3po is conducting some kind of sermon

on the mouth or maybe she's trying to

teach them how to do the ymca

[Music]

um did she just say i'm a live wire from

there we hop over to the first annual

running of the sasquatches look i have

no idea what's even happening in this

movie like what the [ __ ] is this it's

dollar general chewbacca i will say this

is a super bold aesthetic choice to put

the light behind him so we can't see how

truly amazingly awful this mask is for

sure but hey this guy's corpse paint is

pretty on point teddy ruxpin here isn't

pleased with the old guy's offer so he

clubs him like a baby seal man now it

really is corpse paint they're not done

though they split this chick like she's

a wishbone my guess is they're not

wishing for a healthy happy prosperous

year and if that weren't weird enough

sexy c-3po then proceeds to pick her

brain

literally but wait it gets even weirder

now the wookies are shotgunning the

peace pipe what the [ __ ] is going on

fulgy this feels like the version of

star wars george lucas never wanted you

to see at this point man i'm so high

right now i could bark at the moon

look i know i keep saying it's getting

weirder but god damn it really does keep

getting weirder because now brian may

has shown up and he's sporting his best

man without a face cosplay over in

another movie brian may who has his face

back saves this chick from a snake but

then he seems disappointed when his

chivalrous action doesn't cause her to

drop her loincloth on the spot nice way

to show your gratitude our heroes ladies

and gentlemen well he's lamenting his

in-cell status these guys attack

this guy is basically a skyrim meme come

to life dude literally was an adventure

and then took an arrow in the knee out

of ammo he flees but running is clearly

not his strong suit i say it again our

hero ladies and gentlemen and just as

things look bleak for the future queen

george rivero shows up and starts

beating guys with his bone hell yeah no

not like that you pervs his bone

nunchucks not gonna lie i've seen cereal

that's less grainy than the print of

this film unfortunately his heroism is

short-lived because he gets jumped by

these wookies who leapt in from

absolutely nowhere this movie does not

make one lick of sense but i am

thoroughly entertained folgie you

magnificent bastard but wait george

isn't so easily defeated he's throwing

out pimp hands left and right and you

really have to wonder why these wookies

keep pole vaulting into the scene seems

like a real waste energy but i guess it

helps george pull off moves like this in

the middle of all this ass kicking

george has a startling realization

[ __ ] i think i left the stove on back at

the cave oh sweet he's got a book of

ibon symbol tatted on his forehead

conquest is part of the beyond cinematic

universe confirmed ah here's why you're

having such a hard time rocking this

thing is totally out of tune who are you

my enemies call me makes oh come on you

don't even use a mace your name should

be chuck god damn it nunchucks it's so

obvious then he has another startling

realization [ __ ] i forgot to lock the

front door too oh holy hell just look at

this [ __ ] what they couldn't afford

stock footage birds skyrim guy who is

still in this movie makes it back to

sexy c-3po and miraculously it appears

his arrow wound is in the totally

opposite leg now say it with me

continuity is hard i really gotta get

more props for that gag chuck aka george

aka mace is learning how to use the bow

and he's hunting the most dangerous game

of all man probably just thought it was

a yachty claunchy

i learned fast don't i i close up drink

and another chug

why is like every other goddamn scene in

this movie backlit and it turns out

chuck aka mace was right he did leave

the stove on back at the cave hope he's

paid up on his cave owner's policy

budget brian may is like maybe this is

what older me meant at the start of the

movie when he told me beware the disco

inferno they escape and i love that

george rivera will never pass up an

opportunity to stealth flex back

upstairs the wookies gather around the

fire

they brought some s'mores these deleted

scenes from the star wars christmas

special still aren't as weird as the

actual star wars christmas special

anyway they appear to be trapped until

this snake slithers through which gives

chuck slash mace an idea he just showed

us the way out um yeah sure maybe if you

can shrink down a snake size i don't

think you guys will fit through that

whole otherwise naturally chuck starts

ramming his pole in the hole hell yeah

no not like that you purrs i mean he's

using the staff to make the passageway

bigger back topside this dude's trying

to figure out how to get car insurance

so easy a caveman can do it my ass and i

guess since chuck's cave burnt down

they're gonna crash at his friend's cave

while the insurance claim is settled and

if you guessed the chick ilia saved from

the snake earlier is gonna be here give

yourself a screenwriter's credit she

looks a little pale and some more

backlighting jesus did this movie even

have a cinematographer i close up top

off that j b and get to drinking and

chug again thoughts and prayers for your

liver we're over a third of the way into

this movie and i have no idea what's

going on but sure let's stop for a sex

scene except before brian can close the

deal with this groupie these guys decide

to drop in and hand deliver the c block

and here's our hero once again getting

completely overwhelmed by enemies maybe

chuck can save him again guess not he's

too busy getting pimp-handed he comes to

later with his usual look of suave

bewilderment did i leave the garage door

open and just when things look bleakest

these terrible fake birds return huzzah

if you're wondering where elias is he's

been captured by conquest version of

ewoks looks like he's going to be the

main course at the company picnic if you

have no idea who these wolf people are

or why they want brian may well don't

sweat it i have no clue either we can be

confused together three people write

this script and it still makes zero

sense at any rate things don't look

great for ilius but he's unbowed hey

we're back to backlighting scenes again

chuck i mean mace is totally gonna

rescue him but first he needs to make a

few lettuce wraps jesus look at this

acting action pose they're about to

escape but chewie wakes up he gets boned

hell yeah no i mean with chuck's chucks

you pervs and during the middle of the

ensuing fight chuck has another poorly

timed realization [ __ ] i think i forgot

to schedule my credit card payment after

a bunch of jibber-jabber boobs and

half-hearted exposition we get back to

the action

and i zoom if your liver hasn't revolted

yet you know what to do anyway now that

we're halfway through the movie this

seems like the perfect time to actually

start the plot chuck's gonna take ilyas

to sexy 3po's place so they can do

things i knew if they just kept

wandering around long enough they'd

eventually find the plot they set off

and i don't even want to think about how

much rule 34 fanfic has been written

about these two this special moment is

interrupted by whatever the [ __ ] this is

these special effects are many things

special is not one of them they flee but

ilious takes a dart in the thigh

he's not dead maybe hold off on the

viking funeral chuck it is pretty

convenient that there was a perfectly

good law graph just sitting there that's

for sure and remember i said we were

going to see sexy c-3po well there's a

change in plans now there's a small

valley there

where a magic plant grows it's totally a

savage cabbage dispensary and on

tonight's very special episode of dr

pimple popper ilius gets a boil man if

mace offers to suck out the poison this

review is over while off hunting for

magic mushrooms chuck has yet another

startling realization [ __ ] i think i

left the mail out on the counter before

i left the cave for this trip and it

wouldn't be a foolchi movie without some

zombies why are there zombies here what

purpose do they serve look i don't care

this is finally something i can get

excited about this looks suspiciously

like a similar sequence in zombie three

i always felt that sequence was a fulgy

scene and this pretty much proves it in

the ensuing battle chuck makes a few

points then things get meta yeah chuck

is fighting himself i feel like this is

fulgi's statement on the duality of man

and how we all struggle with our own

inner demons or something jesus listen

to this foley work

seen saturday afternoon kung fu movies

with more subtle sound design oh look

it's c-3po's minion avocado face

afterwards it turns out the cure for the

poison needle is to basically just turn

ilius into a chia pet who knew and it's

time for another startling realization

[ __ ] did i remember to file my taxes

after his recovery ilius has a change of

heart i'm not leaving

i'm running away let's be honest it's

about time he realized he's not the hero

of this movie and don't look now but i

think these two are breaking up theirs

was a love doomed to fail they were just

from different worlds literally after

the sweet sorrow of parting chuck's like

shove off pal and he has yet another

startling realization [ __ ] did i leave

my headlights on and this looks like a

living breathing version of a frazetta

painting if rosetta were blind and had

no hands and had to paint by holding the

brush with his feet so i guess that

whole we're headed to sexy 3po's plot

thing was a big fake out shocker while

chuck's lost in his thoughts trying to

remember where he put his car keys these

guys drop in

yeah nothing but net what the hell are

these things your guess is as good as

mine out on the water brian may reverses

course after some disembodied dialogue

reminds him of his sacred duty to save

rock and roll i'm coming to save you

freddie mercury we are the champions

then he finds these footprints in the

sand why are there only one set of

prince that's because chuck was carrying

you meanwhile chuck's recreating the

trio scene from conan man i wish i was

watching conan and then ilya shows up

and now he has a magic bow because he's

totally earned that kind of power with

all of his heroic deeds right how nice

he leveled up enough to get maldi shot

on his world of warcraft hunter merlock

down

chuck meanwhile is doing his best little

mermaid impression and has gone under

the sea i bet they got that sweet rack

from adam and eve

not gonna lie i'm amazed dilius can even

work that bow with those chicken wings

he calls arms might be time to hit the

curls just not in the squat rack bro

chuck is drowning but don't worry

flipper is on the case and just before

he dies he has time for one last

starting realization

[ __ ] i forgot to schedule swimming

lessons the dolphins don't really seem

to be in any rush to save him okay come

on dude he's been underwater for like

five minutes now i'd say he probably has

long-term brain damage but really how do

we tell back on land i zoom drink again

chuck meanwhile just washes up on shore

i think we've all been there he's like

[ __ ] i think i forgot to put the garbage

out and just like that the odd couple is

back on the road to sexy c-3po's place

they better really hoof it because we

had like 15 minutes of movie left we

still have to cross too much open ground

we'll rest now or yeah sure just stop

and rest no rush or anything unlike the

yadaglanci these two do not sleep nose

to anus wookie show up and cardilius off

into the night again what a hero this

must have been filmed during a brief

phase where fulche was just fascinated

with people jumping i mean there's a

house of pain slash crisscross level of

jumping in this film see i wasn't

kidding after some combat which i'm not

showing because it's so poorly lit you

literally can't see anything chuck

decides to get in a workout with his

shake weight with his workout finished

he makes a startling discovery

helios

yeah dude really lost his head over all

of this what a hero ilius may have lost

his head but that doesn't mean fool she

won't give him one more eye zoom

decapitation i zoom is a double drink

meanwhile chuck finally gets to give

ilius that viking funeral and have one

more startling realization [ __ ] did i

remember to check his pulse and make

sure he was actually dead before i lit

him on fire really the best way to cook

your alias is grilled over an open flame

anyway i don't want to rush you luchio

but there's six minutes left in this

movie we might want to get a climax

rolling at some point or just have chuck

robilius ash all over himself i mean

you're the director and this gives chuck

one more chance to flex

revenge

revenge

with that over we finally decide to get

to an ending nice work full g chuck

summons the magic bow and does his best

robin hood impression maybe fulchi was

right his ending doesn't really need

more than two minutes chuck lines up one

last magic missile and blast sexy c3po

right in the face

don't even start danny man no wonder she

wore that mask she looks worse than

vader at the end of return of the jedi

chuck has one last realization [ __ ] i

think i forgot me and elias's

anniversary he sends one more arrow into

3po and she

turns into a dog

okay maybe fool she did hate women i'm

kidding maybe with his work done chuck

walks off into the sunset [ __ ] did i

leave my wallet back at 3po's place

followed by a freeze frame and this end

card thanks for clarifying that movie i

was thoroughly convinced that chuck was

based on a guy i see in the gym all the

time glad that wasn't the case so what

have we learned from conquest well for

starters foolchi can make a bad movie in

genres other than horror i'm kidding i

mean conquest is not a good movie by any

conventional metric but it's so terrible

that you wind up loving it it's clear

the godfather gore was outside his

comfort zone in this one but that's part

of its charm it just meanders all over

the place for 88 minutes and then wraps

up in like 90 seconds but enough about

that can conquest slaughter enough

random high fantasy monsters to earn

another 5 barf bag rating for fulchi

let's go to the gore card in terms of

gross anatomy conquest definitely

delivers we're treated to multiple split

heads a decapitation oozing pustules

3po's face reveal and a woman split like

a wishbone in an odd twist the gore

effects here aren't up to the standards

of folgi's classic horror output but

there's enough here to give conquest a

respectable three barf bag rating this

is not a super sick flick by foolchi

standards but it's so batshit insane you

should definitely see it anyway looking

for more fuchi gore then be sure to

check out my review of zombie you'll

find a link here on the screen i'll meet

you over there until next time i'm mike

bracken aka the [ __ ] geek bringing you

all the splatter that matters