This Is Why So Many Women Are Single

Summary

In this video, Courtney Ryan discusses a refreshing perspective on dating dynamics, challenging the common excuse that men are 'intimidated' by successful women. She argues that it's more about attitude and compatibility than financial success or status. Courtney emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, personal growth, and taking accountability for one's role in failed relationships, rather than blaming external factors. She also touches on societal expectations and the reality that men and women often seek different qualities in a partner.

Takeaways

• 🌟 Courtney Ryan introduces a video she found on Tick Tock that challenges the common narrative that men are intimidated by successful women.
• 🙅‍♀️ The video emphasizes that men typically end relationships or ghost not because they're intimidated, but because of other reasons, such as compatibility issues.
• 💼 Courtney reflects on her own past, where she was once told that men were intimidated by her success and independence, which she now recognizes as a misconception.
• 🤔 The speaker in the video suggests that men might not prefer argumentative or highly opinionated women, or those who prioritize work and independence over partnership.
• 💡 It's posited that the only times men might be intimidated are if there's a significant disparity in success or attractiveness, which is not the norm in most dating scenarios.
• 👏 Courtney praises the Tick Tock video creator for her self-awareness and accountability, which contrasts with the usual narrative found on social media.
• 🚫 The video criticizes the tendency for women to label men's disinterest as intimidation, which Courtney views as an excuse to avoid personal responsibility for relationship failures.
• 🤝 Courtney discusses 'hypergamy', the tendency for women to seek men of equal or greater financial success, and how this affects relationship dynamics and satisfaction.
• 💰 She argues that men generally do not prioritize a woman's financial success in the same way women might prioritize a man's, and that attitude and compatibility are more important.
• 👫 Courtney highlights the importance of friends being honest with each other about relationship issues, rather than perpetuating myths or making excuses.
• 🔍 The video encourages self-reflection and personal growth, suggesting that taking accountability for one's part in relationship failures is crucial for improvement.
• 📉 Courtney mentions a statistic about an increasing number of women projected to be single and childless by 2030, which she links to a lack of personal accountability and unrealistic expectations in dating.

Q & A

What is the main topic discussed in Courtney Ryan's video?

The main topic discussed in the video is the misconception that men end or ghost relationships because they are intimidated by the woman's success or personality traits.

What does Courtney Ryan believe is a common excuse given by women when relationships don't work out?

Courtney Ryan believes that a common excuse given by women when relationships don't work out is that the man is intimidated by the woman's success or strong personality.

What does Courtney Ryan suggest is the real reason men might end a relationship with a successful woman?

Courtney suggests that the real reason men might end a relationship is not intimidation, but rather the woman's attitude, behavior, or personality traits that are not appealing to the man.

What is Courtney Ryan's view on the importance of self-awareness and accountability in personal growth and relationships?

Courtney Ryan emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and accountability for personal growth and relationships, stating that acknowledging one's own flaws and taking responsibility for them is key to becoming a better person and partner.

Why does Courtney Ryan think women often blame men for being intimidated when relationships fail?

Courtney Ryan thinks women often blame men for being intimidated as a way to protect their own ego and avoid taking responsibility for the failure of the relationship.

What does Courtney Ryan argue is a myth about men's preferences in relationships?

Courtney Ryan argues that the idea that men are intimidated by successful women is a myth, and that men are more likely to be put off by a woman's bad attitude or lack of likability.

What is the term 'hypergamy' as mentioned in the video, and how does it relate to women's dating preferences?

Hypergamy refers to the tendency of women to seek partners who are at their level or above them in terms of financial or social status. Courtney Ryan discusses this as a common dating preference among women.

According to Courtney Ryan, what is the typical reaction of women when they are told they might be the problem in a relationship?

Courtney Ryan states that women often react defensively or with denial when told they might be the problem in a relationship, which can hinder their personal growth and understanding of the relationship dynamics.

What does Courtney Ryan suggest is a healthier approach to understanding relationship failures?

Courtney Ryan suggests a healthier approach is to take accountability for one's actions and attitudes in a relationship, and to look for ways to improve oneself rather than blaming the other person.

How does Courtney Ryan describe the role of friends in reinforcing the 'intimidation' excuse?

Courtney Ryan describes friends as often enabling the 'intimidation' excuse by agreeing with it and not challenging the woman to consider her own role in the relationship's failure.

What is Courtney Ryan's advice for women who are struggling with dating and finding the right partner?

Courtney Ryan advises women to reflect on their own attitudes and behaviors, to have realistic expectations, and to understand that men and women often value different things in a relationship.

Outlines

00:00

😀 Challenging the 'Intimidation' Excuse

Courtney Ryan introduces a video that challenges the common belief that men end or ghost relationships because they are intimidated by successful women. She reflects on her own past experiences and the realization that men are not intimidated by strong women, but rather, they may not be compatible due to personality traits or life priorities. Courtney emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and personal growth, rather than blaming men for relationship failures.

05:00

🤔 The Myth of Hypergamy and Accountability

This paragraph delves into the concept of hypergamy, where women tend to seek men of equal or greater financial and success levels. Courtney discusses the negative impact on relationship satisfaction when women out-earn their partners and argues that men are not deterred by a woman's success. She stresses that women often lack accountability for their actions and attitudes in relationships, which can hinder personal growth and the development of healthier relationships. Courtney calls for honesty and self-reflection among women to break the cycle of self-deception and victim mentality.

10:02

👍 Embracing Personal Growth and Realistic Expectations

Courtney concludes by advocating for personal accountability and the acknowledgment of one's role in relationship dynamics. She emphasizes the importance of understanding that both men and women have different priorities and desires in relationships. Courtney also touches on the potential societal implications of singlehood and the importance of setting realistic expectations in dating. She encourages viewers to be self-aware and to grow from their experiences, rather than perpetuating the myth that men are intimidated by successful women.

Keywords

💡Intimidation

Intimidation refers to the feeling of being overwhelmed or fearful in the presence of someone or something that is perceived as more powerful or dominant. In the video, the concept is discussed in the context of dating dynamics, where women often misinterpret a man's lack of interest as intimidation due to their success or strong personality. The video challenges this notion, suggesting that men may not be intimidated but rather not attracted to certain behaviors or attitudes.

💡Accountability

Accountability is the willingness to accept responsibility for one's actions or decisions. The video emphasizes the importance of personal accountability in relationships, suggesting that women who blame their dating failures on intimidation are avoiding self-reflection and growth. The speaker encourages viewers to take responsibility for their part in relationship dynamics, rather than attributing all issues to external factors.

💡Success

Success in the video is discussed in terms of personal achievements, particularly in the context of career and financial stability. It is used to illustrate the common misconception that men are intimidated by successful women. The video argues that success alone does not guarantee attraction or compatibility in relationships and that other factors, such as personality and attitude, play a significant role.

💡Hypergamy

Hypergamy is a term used to describe the tendency to seek a partner of higher social or economic status. In the script, it is mentioned to explain why women often date men who are at their level or above in terms of success, which statistically leads to decreased relationship satisfaction when women outearn their partners. The concept is used to argue against the idea that men are intimidated by successful women, as women themselves tend to seek higher-status partners.

💡Personality

Personality refers to the unique set of characteristics that define an individual's behavior, attitudes, and emotions. The video suggests that a woman's personality, particularly if it includes negative traits such as being argumentative or having a bad attitude, may be a more significant factor in dating failures than her level of success or intimidation.

💡Independence

Independence in the video is portrayed as a trait of self-sufficiency and autonomy, often associated with the 'boss babe' archetype. The speaker argues that while being independent is positive, it can be detrimental to relationships if it leads to an attitude of not needing or wanting a partner. This concept is used to challenge the idea that men are intimidated by independent women, suggesting instead that certain attitudes associated with independence may be unattractive.

💡Femininity

Femininity in the video is discussed as a set of attributes, behaviors, and roles traditionally associated with being a woman. The speaker contrasts this with the 'boss babe' archetype, suggesting that men may be more attracted to women who embrace their femininity and are supportive and nurturing, rather than those who project an image of independence to the point of exclusion of a partner's role.

💡Relationship Dynamics

Relationship dynamics refer to the patterns of interaction and behavior within a romantic partnership. The video discusses how misunderstanding these dynamics can lead to failed relationships. It emphasizes that men and women often have different expectations and desires in relationships, and that understanding and respecting these differences is crucial for compatibility.

💡Unlikability

Unlikability in the context of the video refers to traits or behaviors that make a person less attractive or appealing to others. The speaker argues that women who are unsuccessful in dating may be perceived as unlikable due to their attitude or behavior, rather than because they are intimidating or too successful.

💡Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand one's own emotions, motivations, and behaviors. The video praises the woman in the Tick Tock video for her self-awareness in acknowledging her past behaviors and recognizing the need for personal growth. The concept is used to advocate for introspection and personal development as a means to improve relationship outcomes.

💡Friendship and Support

Friendship and support are discussed in terms of how friends can either help or hinder personal growth. The video criticizes the tendency of friends to validate each other's negative self-perceptions by blaming external factors, rather than encouraging self-reflection and accountability. It suggests that honest and supportive friendships are more beneficial for personal development and relationship success.

Highlights

Courtney Ryan introduces a refreshing perspective on the common excuse that men are 'intimidated' by successful women.

The video challenges the misconception that men end relationships or ghost women due to intimidation by their success.

Courtney shares her own past experiences and the realization that men leave not because of intimidation, but due to other factors such as attitude.

The video emphasizes that successful men are not intimidated by successful women, but rather may be put off by negative personality traits.

Courtney argues that the idea of men being intimidated is a common but misguided belief that prevents women from taking personal accountability.

The video discusses the concept of hypergamy and how women often seek men who are at their level or above in terms of success.

It is statistically noted that only 22% of women out-earn their husbands, and this dynamic can affect relationship satisfaction.

Courtney points out that men value qualities like peace and a good attitude over financial success in a partner.

The video addresses the issue of women not holding each other accountable and the role of friends in reinforcing the intimidation excuse.

Courtney encourages women to take responsibility for their part in relationship failures instead of blaming external factors.

The importance of self-awareness and personal growth is highlighted as key to improving one's dating life and relationships.

The video touches on the unrealistic expectations some women have for their partners, which may contribute to relationship struggles.

Courtney discusses the rarity of finding a partner who meets certain financial or success criteria and the need for realistic standards.

The video concludes by emphasizing the value of taking accountability for one's actions and attitudes in dating and relationships.

Courtney invites viewers to subscribe and follow her on social media for more content on personal growth and relationship advice.

Transcripts

hi everyone welcome back to my channel

if you're new here I'm Courtney Ryan and

I stumbled upon this Gem of a video over

on Tick Tock and when I saw it I was one

of the first people to see it it didn't

have a ton of likes or views or comments

or anything like that but I just thought

it was so refreshing as a woman to hear

another woman saying this and I'm sure

that as mostly men watching you will

find this refreshing too so I'm going to

show you guys just so that we're all on

the same page and then we're going to

talk about it we need to have a chat and

don't get mad at me think of me like

your older sister in there it says he's

not intimidated by you on the top of the

video

that I've already experienced this

learned the lesson myself so now I just

want to teach you the lesson so that you

can be honest with yourself

um

a man did not end things with you or

ghost you because he's too intimidated

by you stop convincing yourself of that

stop letting your friends convince you

of that people used to say that to me so

I used to say it all the time when

things didn't work out with a guy I've

been pretty successful from from a

pretty young age and one of the things

about me at that time was that like I

made it my whole personality trait like

didn't need anybody for anything work

like came first

um I just I was a little more on the

like argumentative like highly

opinionated which I am a highly

opinionated person but like it was just

a different way and people used to say

that to me oh well they're just so

intimidated by you and I ate that [ __ ]

up until finally it came to my senses

and matured and I was like well I'm not

dating insecure men

so I don't think that the man I date who

are like successful have their [ __ ]

together you know pretty confident are

ending it with me because they're like

they're they're intimidated I think I'm

too good for that I just don't think

that that's necessarily true what I've

learned and realized is that

they just don't like it like if you are

argumentative why would they spend their

time with you when there's someone else

who's not or if your whole life is about

not meeting anybody and just like oh I

can do this I can do that because I'm

like so successful and work is

everything to me and I'm like why would

they want that in a partner when they're

someone who's more like open to being

like a team rather than so like

independent

um the only time it'd probably be true

if a man was

intimidated by you would be if he had

significantly less going for him than

you do like successful you make a ton of

money you travel you live in a nice

place whatever and he's like between

jobs and lives with his parents like

doesn't have a steady income or if

you're like 10 out of 10 like stunning

model most beautiful girl he's ever seen

and he's like

unhealthy

unattractive like

never been with someone that looks like

you so he like gets intimidated and

unfortunately like psyches himself out

maybe in that case but chances are

that's not what your dating Dynamic is

and it's just that your personality

isn't for him

like it but he's not intimidated by you

love this girl wish that I could give

her a hug because I have never heard

another woman say this especially on

Tick Tock normally it's the strong

independent boss babes that don't need

no man and if you say something like

this you are ridiculed and attacked and

called to pick me or misogynist in the

comment section which very well could be

happening I don't know because I haven't

gone to check the current status of the

video because as I mentioned I saw this

when it was first posted

um but it's just insane she's 100

correct the accountability that she's

taking here talking about her past and

the way that she's you know matured and

realized this is just so self-aware and

again just so refreshing to hear and

she's someone who has a female following

which is even better to see I cannot

tell you how many times I have heard

women say well guys just don't like me

because they're too intimidated by me or

I'm intimidating or things didn't work

out because he was you know intimidated

by my success and I made too much money

for him and blah blah blah men don't

care how much money you're making that's

a woman thing that women care about in

men so then when we're dating we think

that men care about the same things that

we do when in reality not even close and

they just don't like you probably

because if you're approaching dating

with this I'm too intimidating mindset

or you are an independent boss baby that

don't need no man he doesn't like that

about you and you have a bad attitude

and you're just not very likable I did a

video reacting over on Tick Tock to a

woman saying

um why have you wondered why men are

choosing Wonder Bread women basically

saying do you wonder why men choose

average women over you when you are a

Divine French croissant basically high

maintenance and all of this stuff and it

has nothing to do with the fact that

these women are not as good as you it's

just that they don't like you and by

saying that a man doesn't like you

because they're too intimidated by you

or you're too good for them or you're

too high maintenance it's just honestly

a cop-out for bad behavior

it's a way to take no accountability for

yourself and the fact that you might

just not be very likable and in the

Wonder Bread croissant case I think if

you have to put another woman down to

feel better about yourself and why

things aren't working out for you that

tells you all you need to know about

yourself and the growth that you need to

be taking but in this case I think it's

great that you know she was able to say

men are not intimidated by me

they just maybe didn't like me because I

had a bad attitude if you are a boss

babe with a bad attitude you've got

princess mentality and want people to

treat you like you're up on a pedestal

all the time or you're independent and

don't need no man those are probably the

reasons why the men don't like you not

because they're intimidated by you the

first thing I want to talk about here is

that women tend to go for men who are

either at their level financially or

success wise or above them this is

hypergamy it's real it's true it's not

some myth made up by you know people on

the internet this is a real thing that

we do biologically

statistically it's safe for me to say

this only 22 percent of women out earn

their husbands and as women out earn

their husbands their relationship

satisfaction tends to decrease for

themselves and also the man that they're

with why because women typically want to

be with someone who is at their level or

above as I mentioned now this is not the

case for every single woman on the

planet there are women out there dating

men who make less or are less successful

it's just the way that it is right so

again statistically here it's safe for

me to say that them being intimidated by

you is not the reason because you're not

dating men who are less successful than

you or who make less money than you and

as I touched on earlier in the video the

reality is that men don't care how much

money a woman is making that's not

something that's on their list of things

that they're looking for men want

someone who is going to bring peace into

their life instead of constant chaos or

a bad attitude or a princess mentality

you can be a very successful woman and

men will like you if you have a good

attitude and you're not a brat if you're

a woman who is well off you know

financially maybe you're very successful

and you're dating men who are at your

level or above well then those men that

you're dating also have more options in

women why would a man choose to be with

a woman who has a bad attitude and acts

like she doesn't need him in the first

place or even want him a lot of the time

I'm not saying that women should not be

successful or financially stable

themselves I think it's a wonderful

thing but I think it's important to also

know why things are not working out for

you instead of just you know making it a

cop-out and saying oh well they're too

intimidated by me because that's

absolutely

99.9 of the time not the reason why it's

because you're going after men who are

at your level or above which if you're

you know doing well off financially and

you're successful that's probably pretty

high up so right off the bat you're

limiting your pool of men to choose from

so if you can't find someone that could

be a reason why and then secondly here

when you're dating men of that caliber

they have more women to choose from so

they're not going to choose the one with

the bad attitude who sucks because

there's plenty of financially

independent women who do well and are

successful that have a great attitude

whom I embrace their femininity who take

care of themselves physically mentally

emotionally who you know are supportive

and encouraging and bring peace instead

of chaos and a good attitude and another

thing I want to talk about here is that

women don't really hold each other

accountable and she mentioned in the

video that when she would tell her

friends that she you know got broken up

with or things didn't work out they

would say oh well he's just intimidated

by you or oh you're too good for him and

then you tell yourself that to feel

better about why things didn't work out

for you and then you don't end up

growing or evolving or becoming a better

person because you're just never taking

accountability or responsibility for the

fact that you might be the problem and I

think that women really do their friends

such a disservice by lying about this

and obviously some of them truly believe

it like they don't think that they're

the issue this is a common thing that we

see but a lot of them just are lying we

coddle feelings and we hype our friends

up when things aren't working out

instead of just being really honest and

blunt with them and that's because women

don't really respond well when you tell

them maybe you're the problem and I know

this from personal experience having

women friends I was always the friend

and sometimes this didn't land well to

be honest with you a lot of times people

would be scared to tell me things

because I was very honest and blunt and

to the point I was never mean about it

but I was just always very honest I

would not sugarcoat it because I don't

think that helps but then after the fact

they would be like wow I'm so glad that

I listened to you I'm so glad that I

came to you with this and asked for your

opinion because I didn't see things that

way before and I do this because I would

hope that my friends would do that for

me you know if I was in a situation

where I was dating around and I was

having no success and things maybe

weren't working out for me and I told my

friends about it and they said to me oh

well all those men suck or men are trash

and you're too good for them they're

just intimidated by you they would be

lying because if everything's not

working out with everyone

I'm the common denominator in that and

clearly I am playing a role in doing

something wrong so as a friend it's

helpful to just be honest so that your

friends can grow you know what happens

when you're honest with your friends

they grow they evolve they become better

because they aren't constantly stuck in

a cycle of playing the victim and being

woe is me and pointing their finger at

everyone instead of taking

accountability for themselves and their

actions and understanding that they are

the common denominator in every

relationship they have and they might in

fact be a part of the problem it's okay

to acknowledge that we are not perfect

and we have room to improve and there

are things that are maybe a little bit

unlikable about ourselves there's no

shame in admitting that we're human at

taking accountability and responsibility

is how we become a better version of

ourselves for ourselves obviously but

also for the people around us it's how

you become a better daughter a better

son a better sister a better brother a

better partner romantically so by never

owning up to being part of the problem

or by pointing your finger at every man

in the world and saying all of you say

duck and I'm not the issue you're doing

yourself a huge disservice and as a

woman who makes content for mostly men I

can say this from my own personal

experience making this kind of content

and interacting with people you know

just because you disagree with a woman

doesn't mean that you're misogynistic or

like a patriarchy problem Sometimes

women are wrong

sorry I love women I really do but if

you're wrong I'm gonna tell you that

you're wrong I'm not going to sugarcoat

it because that doesn't help you or any

of the other women who are all lying to

themselves and long term it's really so

much more beneficial to see the areas

where you can improve as a person as a

partner whether that be with a

friendship romantically

so that you can end up in a better

situation and relationship and I think

it's super helpful when you're dating to

understand that men and women are often

looking for different things of course

there might be some overlap here and

there but

men don't care how much money you're

making women care how much money men

make and they're probably not

intimidated by you because you aren't

even dating men who would feel the need

to be intimidated by you I think the

statistic is like 45 percent of women

are projected to be single and childless

by the year 2030 and to be honest I'm

not totally surprised by that I think so

many people are single and will remain

single because they never take

accountability or acknowledge that

they're part of the problem and it's

always everyone else's fault but theirs

and that's not going to land you into a

healthy relationship I've also noticed

from bringing a lot of other women on my

channel and doing interviews and talking

to all different kinds of people that

women a lot of the times don't know how

rare it is what they're asking for and

I'll ask them like how much money do you

want your partner to make and they say

three hundred thousand dollars at 29

years old and not even realizing or

understanding how rare it is what

they're asking for and it's literally

like a one percent man I think a lot of

people have incredibly unrealistic

expectations and standards for what they

want their part partner to be like and

then hold themselves to very low

standards or in this case think that

just because they make a lot of money

that they are automatically very

desirable to men and the truth is that

men could not care any less about that

most of the time a lot of men and women

just value different things and that's

okay there's nothing wrong with that and

again I think it's really helpful to

know that if you're someone who is

single or struggling with dating or

wondering why things aren't working out

for you there's a ton of reasons why

people are single and I'm not going to

go super into it in this video because

I've covered it extensively in the past

I can make more videos about this in the

future but really I wanted this video to

be about the fact that it was so

refreshing to see someone share their

own experience and growth and

acknowledge the fact that sometimes

people just don't like you maybe it's

because you have a bad attitude or

you've got things that you need to work

on but by saying that you know it's the

other person's problem or you're never

the problem really just does yourself

such a disservice so I hope you guys

like this video and found it helpful if

you did be sure to give it a thumbs up

and subscribe to my channel to be in the

loop for when I release new content if

you haven't already be sure to follow me

over on Instagram at Courtney Christine

Ryan I love connecting with all of you

guys over on there as well as always

thank you all so much for watching and I

will see you all next time