Own Your Behaviours, Master Your Communication, Determine Your Success | Louise Evans | TEDxGenova

Summary

In this insightful talk, the speaker uses the metaphor of five chairs to explore different behaviors and attitudes we adopt in life. From the judgmental 'jackal' to the empathetic 'giraffe,' each chair represents a choice that impacts our relationships and quality of life. The speaker encourages self-awareness and conscious behavior to foster better communication and a more harmonious world, one interaction at a time.

Takeaways

• 😀 The speaker introduces five chairs as symbols of different behaviors and attitudes we can adopt in life.
• 🎭 The 'Red Chair' represents judgmental and negative behaviors, such as blaming and gossiping.
• 🦔 The 'Yellow Chair' symbolizes self-doubt and self-judgment, where we may feel vulnerable and protective.
• 🦊 The 'Meerkat Chair' encourages mindfulness and awareness, promoting curiosity and conscious thought.
• 🔍 The 'Detective Chair' is about self-awareness and understanding our behaviors and intentions.
• 🐬 The 'Dolphin Chair' represents assertiveness and intelligence without aggression, embodying our best selves.
• 🦒 The 'Giraffe Chair' stands for empathy, compassion, and understanding, with the ability to see from others' perspectives.
• 📱 A personal story illustrates the importance of not jumping to conclusions and the impact of our choices on relationships.
• 🌐 The concept of the 'five chairs' originated from a course in nonviolent communication and aims to improve workplace behaviors.
• 🤝 The speaker emphasizes the power of empathy and the importance of listening and caring for others in building strong relationships.
• 🌟 The final message is an invitation to integrate these behaviors into daily life, to improve personal and professional interactions, and to contribute to a better world.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the speaker's talk?

The main theme of the speaker's talk is about the choices we make in our behaviors and attitudes and how they impact our relationships and the quality of our lives.

Why did the speaker choose the Blue Note Jazz Club in Milan for an evening out with her partner's daughter?

The speaker chose the Blue Note Jazz Club in Milan because it was a special venue where her favorite jazz group, the Manhattan Transfer, was playing, and she thought it would be a great setting for a bonding experience.

What was the speaker's initial reaction when she saw the daughter on her iPhone during the jazz performance?

The speaker initially felt disappointed and questioned the daughter's engagement in the evening, as well as the attention span of the younger generation.

What were the different choices the speaker considered in response to seeing the daughter on her phone?

The speaker considered expressing her frustration, questioning her choice of venue, counting to ten and relaxing, focusing on making the evening special for the daughter, and trying to understand what was important for the daughter.

What did the daughter reveal to the speaker about the Blue Note Jazz Club and the Manhattan Transfer?

The daughter revealed that the Blue Note Jazz Club in Milan was the only one in Europe, mentioned the long history of the Manhattan Transfer, and showed that she had posted about the event on Facebook.

What is the concept of the 'five chairs' introduced by the speaker?

The 'five chairs' concept is a tool to help individuals slow down, analyze, and be more conscious of their behaviors and attitudes in different situations, with each chair representing a different mode of behavior.

What does the 'red chair' or 'jackal chair' represent in the speaker's concept?

The 'red chair' or 'jackal chair' represents a behavior where individuals tend to blame, complain, punish, gossip, and judge others.

What is the significance of the 'hedgehog chair' or 'yellow chair' in the speaker's model?

The 'hedgehog chair' signifies a behavior where individuals feel vulnerable and protect themselves by judging themselves harshly and playing the victim.

What does the 'meerkat chair' represent and how does it relate to mindfulness?

The 'meerkat chair' represents a behavior of being vigilant, observant, and mindful, where individuals pause, take a deep breath, and become conscious of their thoughts and actions.

How does the speaker relate the 'detect chair' to self-awareness and personal growth?

The 'detect chair' encourages individuals to become detectives of their own behaviors, to be self-aware, set boundaries, and speak their truth without giving away their power, leading to personal growth and freedom.

What is the 'dolphin chair' and how does it represent our best human qualities?

The 'dolphin chair' represents playful, intelligent communication, and embodies our best human qualities when we are at our most empathetic, compassionate, and understanding.

What does the 'giraffe chair' symbolize in terms of empathy and perspective?

The 'giraffe chair' symbolizes empathy, compassion, and understanding, inviting individuals to put their egos aside, listen to others, and embrace different perspectives and realities.

What advice does the speaker give for translating the 'five chairs' concept into daily life?

The speaker advises taking the 'five chairs' concept home, using it to navigate daily interactions, teaching it to children, and even placing them in the boardroom to improve workplace dynamics.

What quote from Viktor Frankl does the speaker use to emphasize the power of choice in our attitudes?

The speaker quotes Viktor Frankl's 'Man's Search for Meaning,' stating that the last of human freedoms is the ability to choose our attitude in any given set of circumstances.