Modern Masculinity Has Lied to Us

Summary

The video script discusses the concept of modern masculinity, criticizing the overcompensation and immaturity often displayed by men. It advocates for developing mature masculinity, which is secure, caring, and strong, as opposed to the insecure and egotistical behaviors commonly exhibited. The speaker suggests self-initiation into manhood through challenges and embracing the four masculine archetypes: the King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover. The script also emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and balancing one's feminine side for a more authentic and mature expression of masculinity.

Takeaways

• 😀 The speaker claims to achieve physical success as a hobby, allowing time for other pursuits, leading to wealth and possession of multiple assets.
• 😀 Modern masculinity is criticized as immature and overcompensating, often driven by influencers who frequently assert their masculinity.
• 😀 Men often repress their feminine side, which can resurface unexpectedly, causing emotional turmoil in relationships.
• 😀 True masculinity involves integrating and balancing one's feminine side, leading to mature masculinity.
• 😀 Mature masculinity is characterized by security, caring, generativity, calmness, and strength, unlike immature masculinity, which is egotistical and insecure.
• 😀 Traditional societies had rituals to transition boys into manhood, but modern pseudo-initiations can lead to insecure masculinity.
• 😀 Self-initiating into manhood involves embracing independence, facing challenges, and developing maturity through significant life events or purposeful actions.
• 😀 The speaker emphasizes developing mature masculine archetypes: the King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover, with a focus on the King archetype.
• 😀 The King archetype represents order, reason, law creation, and defending, bringing blessings and recognizing others' strengths and flaws.
• 😀 The speaker recommends various books and online role models to help men understand and develop mature masculinity, including works by Robert Moore and David Deida, and influencers like Hamza and Jordan Peterson.

Q & A

What does the speaker claim makes him a fantastic individual?

The speaker claims that being able to be successful in one field as a hobby, without giving up his entire life, makes him a fantastic individual.

Why does the speaker believe he will become a billionaire?

The speaker believes he will become a billionaire because he has time to do many things due to his success being a side hobby, which includes having multiple cars and a compound.

What misconception does the speaker address about modern masculinity?

The speaker addresses the misconception that modern masculinity is about overcompensating and shunning love and women, often influenced by online figures who scream into microphones to assert their masculinity.

What does the speaker suggest is the result of repressing one's feminine side?

The speaker suggests that repressing one's feminine side can lead to emotional instability and confusion in relationships, as well as a cycle of resentment and confusion when trying to navigate emotions around women.

What are some examples of immature masculinity given by the speaker?

Examples of immature masculinity include the emotional social media influencer, the absent father, the abusive boyfriend, the withdrawn lover, and the money-hungry CEO.

What does the speaker define as mature masculinity?

Mature masculinity is defined as being secure, caring, generative, calming, and strong.

How does the speaker describe the process of transitioning from boyhood to manhood in ancient cultures?

In ancient cultures, the transition from boyhood to manhood involved ritualistic processes guided by tribal elders or shamans, which could result in the boy either emerging stronger in their manhood or crumbling.

What advice does the speaker give for a young man to initiate himself into manhood?

The speaker advises a young man to feel an inner urge for independence, venture into an unknown land, and possibly take on a physical challenge with a 50% chance of success, ensuring survival is up to them.

What are the four mature masculine archetypes mentioned by the speaker?

The four mature masculine archetypes mentioned are The King, The Warrior, The Magician, and The Lover.

What is the role of the King archetype according to the speaker?

The King archetype brings order, reason, and the creation and defense of laws. He is an avid defender of his intellect and provides blessings by recognizing others' strengths and flaws.

Which books and authors does the speaker recommend for understanding masculinity?

The speaker recommends 'The King, Warrior, Magician, Lover' by Robert Moore, 'Blue Truth' and 'The Way of the Superior Man' by David Deida, 'The Comfort Crisis' by Mark Manson, and suggests following online role models like Chris, Hamza, Jason Wilson, Jocko Willink, and Jordan Peterson.

Outlines

00:00

💡 The Illusion of Masculinity and the Path to Maturity

The speaker begins by asserting his success and wealth as a result of not sacrificing his entire life to a single pursuit. He criticizes the modern concept of masculinity, which he views as a facade that represses genuine emotions and feminine aspects of one's personality. He suggests that this leads to a cycle of failed relationships and emotional instability. The speaker advocates for the development of mature masculinity, which he describes as secure, caring, and strong, as opposed to the immature version characterized by ego, weakness, and insecurity. He also touches on the lack of rites of passage for young men today and suggests that self-initiation into manhood is necessary, involving a personal journey or challenge that leads to self-discovery and growth.

05:02

🛤️ The Journey to Self-Initiation and Archetypal Masculinity

The speaker discusses the process of self-initiation into manhood, recommending a physical or mental challenge with a 50% chance of success and the importance of not dying in the process. He suggests traveling alone or moving to an unknown place to forge a new identity, free from the expectations of others. The speaker then introduces the concept of masculine archetypes, focusing on the King archetype as a representation of mature masculinity. He describes the King as a figure who brings order, reason, and protection, and contrasts this with the immature masculine behaviors often displayed online. The speaker emphasizes the importance of embodying the King's energy to provide a sense of security and direction to oneself and others.

10:03

📚 Recommended Readings and Role Models for Masculine Development

The speaker provides a list of books and online role models to aid in understanding and developing mature masculinity. He starts with 'The King, Warrior, Magician, Lover' by Robert Moore, which delves into archetypal aspects of masculinity. He also recommends 'Blue Truth' by David Deida for understanding the feminine aspect and 'The Way of the Superior Man' for comprehensive answers on masculinity and femininity. The speaker mentions 'The Comfort Crisis' as a guide to embracing discomfort and challenges. He then lists several online influencers, including First Man Chris, Hamza, Jason Wilson, Jocko Willink, and Jordan Peterson, as sources of inspiration and guidance for masculine development, while cautioning against those who overly emphasize their masculinity as a potential sign of insecurity.

15:06

👑 Embracing Kingship and the Importance of Self-Assertion

In the final paragraph, the speaker summarizes the journey of shedding the boy ego and embracing kingship, emphasizing the importance of self-assertion and not needing to convince others of one's masculinity. He suggests that true masculinity is self-evident and that those who feel the need to proclaim it may be compensating for a lack of internal confidence. The speaker invites viewers to book a free call for further discussion on these topics and to join a newsletter for weekly wisdom. He concludes by reiterating the importance of adopting mature masculine behaviors and the role of self-initiation in personal growth.

Keywords

💡Masculinity

Masculinity in the video is discussed as a multifaceted concept that can be mature or immature. Mature masculinity is characterized by security, care, and strength, while immature masculinity is marked by ego, weakness, and insecurity. The video emphasizes the importance of developing mature masculinity to navigate life effectively. For example, the speaker criticizes modern masculinity figures who feel the need to constantly assert their masculinity, suggesting that true masculinity does not require such validation.

💡Feminine Side

The 'feminine side' refers to the softer, more emotional aspects of an individual's personality that are often repressed in favor of traditional masculine traits. The video argues that acknowledging and understanding one's feminine side is crucial for personal growth and forming healthy relationships. The speaker mentions that many men overcompensate their masculinity due to the repression of their feminine side, which can lead to unexpected emotional outbursts and confusion in relationships.

💡Initiation

In the context of the video, 'initiation' symbolizes the personal journey or rite of passage that an individual must undertake to transition from boyhood to manhood. The speaker suggests that in modern times, without traditional rituals, it is up to the individual to initiate themselves into manhood. An example given is to undertake a physical challenge with a 50% chance of success or to travel alone for three months to build independence and self-reliance.

💡Archetypes

Archetypes are described as inner realities or universal patterns of behavior that exist within individuals. The video specifically discusses four masculine archetypes: The King, The Warrior, The Magician, and The Lover. These archetypes represent different aspects of mature masculinity and are seen as guides for personal development. The King archetype, for instance, is associated with order, reason, and leadership, which the speaker connects to bringing calm and direction to one's life.

💡Boy Ego

The 'boy ego' represents the immature aspects of male identity that are characterized by a need for external validation and a tendency to act out rather than taking responsibility. The video suggests that shedding the boy ego is a necessary step in the journey towards mature masculinity. The speaker contrasts the boy ego with the King archetype, indicating that a true King does not seek external approval but leads with clarity and direction.

💡Modern Masculinity

The term 'modern masculinity' is used in the video to critique contemporary notions of male identity that the speaker believes are flawed. It is portrayed as a facade that men feel they must uphold, often through overcompensation and ego-driven behavior. The video argues that this approach to masculinity is insecure and does not reflect the true strength and maturity that should define manhood.

💡Repression

Repression in the video refers to the act of suppressing one's feminine side or emotions, which can lead to negative consequences. The speaker warns that repressed emotions will eventually resurface with resentment and vengefulness, causing turmoil in one's personal life. The video encourages viewers to embrace all aspects of their identity, including the feminine side, to avoid such issues.

💡Mature Masculinity

Mature masculinity is presented as the ideal state of male identity in the video. It is associated with qualities such as security, caring, generativity, calmness, and strength. The speaker contrasts this with immature masculinity and emphasizes the importance of striving for maturity in one's masculine identity. Examples from the script include the behaviors of a King who provides love and protection without seeking external approval.

💡Self-Worth

Self-worth in the context of the video is tied to the internal sense of value and confidence that an individual possesses. The speaker criticizes behaviors such as buying fast cars for attention or degrading others to feel a sense of self-worth, suggesting that these are signs of immature masculinity. True self-worth, according to the video, comes from within and is not dependent on external validation or material possessions.

💡Role Models

Role models are individuals who embody the qualities of mature masculinity and can serve as examples for others to follow. The video mentions several online figures and authors who the speaker considers to be positive role models for masculinity. These role models are praised for their ability to navigate emotions, provide guidance, and demonstrate the qualities of a mature masculine identity.

Highlights

The speaker emphasizes the importance of not sacrificing one's entire life to be successful in one field, advocating a balanced approach to success and personal interests.

Dispels the misconception that the speaker pays models to accompany him, clarifying they are there voluntarily.

Critique of modern masculinity, suggesting it is a facade that leads to repressed emotions and unhealthy behaviors.

The speaker argues that true masculinity should not need constant validation or proof, but should be inherently present.

Introduction of the concept of mature versus immature masculinity, with mature masculinity being secure and caring.

The lack of traditional rites of passage for young men and the impact on their development of mature masculinity.

The importance of self-initiation into manhood and the process of shedding the 'boy ego'.

Suggestion to physically challenge oneself as a part of the self-initiation process, with the example of a 50% success chance rule.

The concept of animating the four mature masculine archetypes: The King, The Warrior, The Magician, and The Lover.

The role of the King archetype in bringing order and reason, and its absence in modern society.

Advice on how to become a mature King within one's own life, emphasizing self-leadership and service to others.

Recommendation of books and online role models for further understanding of mature masculinity.

Critique of online figures who overcompensate their masculinity, suggesting it indicates a lack of internal maturity.

The speaker's personal journey and the influences that have shaped his understanding of masculinity.

The final call to action for the audience to shed their boy ego and embrace the archetype of the King.

Offering a free call for further discussion and the provision of a newsletter for ongoing wisdom sharing.

Transcripts

I'm top G and while we're on the subject

I want to State here and now that's what

makes me such a fantastic individual

because I don't have to give up my

entire life to be successful in one

particular field most dudes to look like

me have to give up their entire life to

look like me I can do it as a hobby on

the side which mean gives me plenty of

time to do all these other things that's

why I'm gonna be a billionaire why I got

all these cars that's why I got this

compound no [ __ ] respects you cuz you're

a [ __ ] you're a [ __ ] you're sitting

in this chest like will yeah just nwork

with miners I know going to make it oh

never was going to become you're on top

of this it was shown that bueren paid

for the travel expenses of the rotating

cast of models that permanently

accompany buaran wherever he goes

despite Dan consistently stating that

the girls were there voluntarily do you

pay these girls to come no no okay so

that's the big misconception modern

masculinity is just boy psychology in

Disguise you're told to shun love and

women by overcompensating with your

masculinity from men who are screaming

into a microphone online who have to

convince you in every single video that

they are masculine spoiler alert if you

have to say you are you aren't and you

absorb this message until one day you

meet a girl you genuinely like and then

what happens your long repressed

feminine side comes out repelling the

woman who was initially attracted to

your masculinity you then become

resentful and confused why is she acting

so differently now why can't I seem to

control my emotions when I'm around

women you ask Until you realize you're

back at square one enacting out the same

pattern you've Ena acted with every girl

you've ever dated the emotional social

media influencer screaming into a

microphone while he talks about how

manly he is the father who never finds

time to attend his daughter's school

plays the sex addict abusive boyfriend

withdrawn lover the Yes Man the socially

intense 30-year-old the Krabby boss the

Playboy who thinks his [ __ ] doesn't

stink the 18-year-old obsessed with

looks maxing the money hungry CEO the

coach who ridicules his star athletes

the friend who keeps his other friends

in a gray Gloom of normality are all

boys pretend in to be men the solution

is you need to learn how to develop the

right type of

masculinity mature masculinity and you

need to learn how to navigate your own

feminine side without waiting for it to

suddenly burst open when you meet a girl

that you like and for those of you who

don't believe you have a feminine side

you do and the sooner you can realize

this the more masculine you can become

this 10-minute video will show you how

you see most men fear the feminine hence

they call it chaotic annoying and

confusing most men refuse to accept the

fact they have a feminine side so what

do they do they overcompensate with

their masculinity and therefore never

learn how to actually navigate the

feminine their feminine side gets

repressed and it bursts open when they

least expect it because if there's one

thing that psychoanalysis has taught us

is that whatever you repress will grow

against you with a festering resentment

and vengefulness until it gets the

attention it wants I say modern

masculinity has failed us because even

though it is incredibly important for us

as men to animate our masculinity

without a shadow of a doubt the way in

which we do so is crucial to keep it

simple your masculinity can either be

mature or immature mature masculinity is

secure caring generative calming and

strong immature masculinity is

egotistical weak needy insecure and

cowardly when I was 18 I had a lot of

immature masculinity because we don't

have explicit rituals which take boys

from Boyhood into manhood nowadays most

men grow up and still act like children

shouting on the internet buying fast

cars to get attention from women whilst

degrading them in every video they

create in order to feel a sense of

self-worth and to convince everyone else

that they're masculine in ancient

cultures the boy ego had to die before

the man was born The Village elder or

Sharman would guide the young boys

within the tribe through a ritualistic

process which they would either emerge

from stronger and a new and in their

manhood or they would crumble the satari

mawe tribe in Brazil of ritual where 20

times throughout their life boys are

subjected to the stings of 120 bullet

ants with one sting more powerful than

30 wasps the boy has to wear two gloves

full with the ants for 10 minutes while

they dance with the other tribe members

nowadays we have pseudo initiations into

manhood gang initiations random men on

the internet shouting and trying to sell

you stuff and even though these things

can initiate you into a form of

masculinity it's always dangerous

because the form of masculinity they

animate for for you is likely going to

be insecure so For Better or For Worse

if you're a young man listening to this

and you feel like you haven't been

initiated into manhood and you don't

feel like a man the reality is you're

going to have to initiate yourself into

manhood and if you're already a man what

I'm going to tell you next will help you

maintain and further animate your

masculinity into its mature version if

you want to initiate yourself into

manhood then without getting too

spiritual about it you should feel an

inner urge for Independence your boy ego

should gravitate towards manhood and

there will come an event in your life

which will make or break you for me it

was a breakup end in a relationship if

it's possible for you to do so it's not

crucial here but if it's possible it

would be beneficial for you to get away

from your family and the people who know

you so well you need to venture into an

unknown land where no one knows you a

different country or a different city

where you can start to create a new

identity just like King artha entered

the bad lands or Bilbo Baggins exited

the shine in order to pursue his

vocation because if you stay where you

are surrounded by the people who have

known you your whole life they will

start to instruct who they think you are

so when you start to animate your

masculinity it's going to be something

very different for them and they won't

be able to handle it depending on the

type of person so it will be much easier

for you if you move somewhere where no

one knows you so you can start aresh and

you can start to build the foundations

by which your manhood will be built upon

this event or vocation I'm talking about

you can enforce it upon yourself by

giving yourself a grueling workout to do

a physical challenge with two rules one

you can only have a 50% chance of

succeeding at it and number two you

cannot die or you can stop everything

you're doing if you have the capability

to do that and travel for 3 months

completely alone because then your

survival is completely up to you get

wacky get creative and shed your boy ego

purposely inflict a seemingly unbearable

amount of responsibility of yourself and

find a higher cause to serve then after

your initiation traveling doing the

physical challenge or whatever you've

wacky decided to do you must then work

to animate the four mature masculine

archetypes The King The Warrior the

magician and the lover an archetype is

an inner reality that exists with inside

you you know when you watch a film and

you really connect with one of the

characters and you just feel completely

different and as if you've lived a life

through watching this film and through

absorbing and resonate in the story and

the life connecting force that you feel

to this character that's because an

archetype within you has connected to

what you've seen on the screen an

archetype is an inner energy waiting to

be tapped into imagine them as M I don't

have a sheet of paper but imagine them

as magnets below a sheet of paper where

you have iron fillings above and you

have shards of metal you can't see the

magnet but it's guiding the direction of

the metal above it for the sake of

Simplicity and because I want to respect

your time we're just going to focus on

animating the king of archetype because

it just so happens a good King is also

always a good warrior magician and lover

King energy is almost nowhere to be seen

nowadays which is why young men and men

in general are in such a crisis they are

craving the blessing from the King but

when they look around to find the king

there's no Kings to be found the king

brings order reason the creation of laws

and the defending of those laws he is an

avid defender of his own intellect he

shines blessings upon others by

recognizing their strengths and their

flaws and he restores order to the

kingdom now the kingdom I'm referring to

here is your psyche and the immediate

environment in which you occupy you need

to become a king so this is a bit more

of an archetypal exploration because

archetypes always have Shadow poles so a

king in his fullness is not a tyrant or

a weakling but drif him from his

fullness he has the ability to slip into

the negative poles for one reason or

another also the king is comprised of

the initial archetype which is the

Divine Child which comes from boy

psychology we see these as two levels

this is boy psychology and this is man

psychology notice how they Interlink you

cannot have one without the other which

is why you initiate from Boyhood into

manhood the king in his fullness does

not block the light of others instead he

lifts them up he sees people in their

wholeness with their flaws and all of

their strengths a man channel in his

King energy for example will bring calm

to a heated situation situation he'll

support his girlfriend's decision to

change her career he'll provide his

family with love and protection he won't

seek external approval he'll give women

the feeling of security and being safe

in his presence and he'll act with

Clarity and Direction even though

sometimes he might lose his way and be

shrouded in uncertainty he will lead

others on a clear and direct path the

men you follow online are likely not

channeling their King energy despite

what they tell you they're likely

overcompensating externally for a lack

of internal masculinity that they feel

hence they have to convince you in every

video that they're masculine like I said

at the beginning of this video spoiler

alert if someone has to say they are

they aren't that thing if you a truly

masculine man doesn't have to convince

other people he's

masculine he's just masculine if you're

a good person you don't go around saying

oh I'm a good person I'm so chivalrous

and I'm so charitable you're just a good

person that's the one thing that annoys

me about modern masculinity figures is

the fact that they have to convince you

at every point that they're masculine

man and it creates the idea for young

men that they then have to go out into

the world and verbally confess their

masculinity pay attention to your inner

feelings the next time you're having a

conversation with someone and they try

to convince you about a quality they

have what do you think do you believe

them or do you have an inner distrust

that they're compensating for a lack of

internal feeling that they have a king

makes his own decisions and trusts his

own intuition he's disciplined but he

ultimately serves the kingdom and the

people in the Kingdom from a place of

love and protection so that could be

your family your friends the community

you're engaged in and the world in

general what lies outside of the king's

vision is chaotic it's dangerous it's

dark what about that shadowy place

that's beyond our borders you must never

go there Simba but I thought a king can

do whatever he wants oh there's more to

being King than getting your way all the

time there's more Simba whenever the

king is not present things don't

flourish Things Fall Apart laws become

murky boundaries get withdrawn and

questioned again but when the king steps

up to the plate and he ascends the

throne everything flourishes the economy

is good and the people know where they

stand and what to follow bring order to

a childish world and shed your boy ego

by serving a cause bigger than yourself

find your kingdom to create and to

protect become a mature King in your own

right and search for the kingship in the

other men who you come cross and that's

how we can solve the problem of men

feeling an inner craving of wanting to

be blessed by the king you are your own

King so go give the other men the

blessing that they are craving I'm not

going to go much further because what I

think would be better is if I recommend

you a few books which have really help

me figure out all of this stuff about

masculinity and I would recommend a few

people online who I think are genuinely

good role models for masculinity in

terms of books where I got all of this

knowledge from and the first book I ever

read about masculinity is the king

warrior magician lover this will go much

deeper into all the archetypal aspects

that I was mentioning today Robert Moore

has a lot of lectures on YouTube which

you can find where he speaks about

finding your inner gold as a man he

speaks in very archetypal language so

you might have to accustom yourself to

it initially but he was a yian

psychologist around in like the 70s and

80s awesome book number two is blue

Truth by David data I recommended this

book to Jonathan today shout out

Jonathan in our coaching call and what

this will help you do is understand the

navig of the world of the feminine it

will blow your mind it will stop you

from needing external validation from

women because you'll be able to navigate

your own feminine side and you won't

come across as needy and insecure in

front of women because you'll already be

operating from a inner source which is a

combination of your masculine and

feminine poles number two is the way of

the superior man also from the same

author as the blue truth people sing

this book's Praises online and YouTube

within the masculinity self-development

space for a reason it will answer all of

your questions regarding masculinity and

femininity read it number four the

Comfort crisis I would really recommend

this on your path of initiating yourself

into manhood talks all about how you can

Embrace discomfort the challenge which I

had the idea of of two rules physical

challenge 50% chance of succeeding and

you cannot die came from a concept in

the book called misoi definitely

recommend checking out that book I've

done a summary of the Comfort crisis and

the way of the superior man I'll put

them up here one after the other and you

can check these out if you want to in

your own time after this video now

masculine Role Models online number one

who has been a very big role model for

me and someone who I think has a very

valuable message and speaks from a place

of mature masculinity like all of these

guys first man really recommend checking

out first man Chris he's from the UK

like myself he's I think he's like five

or six years older than me he speaks

about really good practical stuff that

you can absorb Hamza now Hamza has been

a huge influence on my life the only up

I have with Hamza is sometimes in videos

he does fall into this if you have to

say you are you aren't thing that I was

arguing against today where I've seen

many times throughout videos he has this

feeling where he has to convince the

camera that he's masculine and he speaks

about a lot of good things he's been a

net positive on my life and I've learned

a lot from him I think his content

nowadays gears towards more of a younger

generation I think he's a very good role

model maybe take some of the things that

he says with a pinch of salt but what I

would say overall very positive just

Hamza he falls into a bit of the Trap of

wanting to convince you that he's

masculine so just pay attention to that

but otherwise I love Hamza Jason Wilson

Jason Wilson is much older than all of

these other influencers he's been

through a lot of stuff in life he's had

two books that he's released cry like a

man and Battle Cry he speaks about how

to navigate your emotions as a man so

you can step into your mature

masculinity without letting your

emotional side rupture the process he's

got a brilliant beard as well he's

awesome talks about martial arts and

everything last one Joo willink where

would we be without Joo I don't absorb a

lot of his content but I think he's a

very good role model for discipline and

animating a real masculine side of

yourself which if you haven't got any

role models in your life who are

masculine I would say definitely start

with Joo willink because he's more

extreme on one side of the spectrum

isn't like he's very disciplined and you

know exmilitary and everything but very

good role model I would add one more I

wouldn't be able to finish this without

saying Jordan Peterson he's been the

biggest influence on my life in terms of

understanding how to adopt

responsibility act from a place of

intellect and really wanting to improve

your life so if you're late on the

Jordan Peterson train man just get on it

it is absolutely brilliant absorb some

of his lectures from 2018 that's what I

would recommend so in summary it's been

a lot of information today kind of

brought you along on a journey but shed

your boy ego and become a king and

remember if you have to say you are you

aren't you can book a free call With Me

Down Below in the description if you

want to chat further about these things

en join the newsletter as well I send

out like 3 minutes of wisdom every

Thursday and I will see you in the next

one adios amigos