5 Life-Changing Levels of Not Giving a F*ck
Summary
TLDRIn this daring video, the host challenges the viewer to embrace the art of nonchalance, or 'not giving a fuck'. Through a series of life-changing experiments with a fan named Garrett, the video explores five levels of non-fuckery, teaching viewers to face fears, ignore societal pressures, and live a life free from anxiety. From skydiving to handing out controversial flyers, Garrett's journey illustrates the power of overcoming personal insecurities and the spotlight effect, ultimately finding liberation in authenticity and the freedom to fail.
Takeaways
- π Overcoming anxiety and unnecessary concerns is the main theme of the video, emphasizing the freedom that comes from not caring excessively about others' opinions.
- π The video introduces five levels of 'non-fuck-giving' as a metaphor for progressively embracing a carefree attitude towards life's challenges.
- π€ The 'spotlight effect' is explained as a psychological phenomenon where people overestimate the attention others pay to them, which can lead to unnecessary anxiety.
- π A quote from David Foster Wallace is used to highlight that worrying less about others' opinions can lead to greater personal freedom.
- π The importance of challenging oneself and stepping out of comfort zones is stressed through various public challenges designed to confront the spotlight effect.
- π Embarrassment is presented as a gateway to not giving a fuck, with the protagonist Garrett's experience of handing out controversial flyers as an example.
- πͺ The video promotes the idea that facing rejection, especially in romantic contexts, is a critical step towards personal growth and authenticity.
- π€ Garrett's dates with models are used to illustrate the shift from seeking approval to being authentic, and the liberation that comes from it.
- πΊ The joy of learning and the process of becoming good at something by first being bad at it is exemplified through Garrett's attempt to learn breakdancing.
- π€ The video concludes with the idea that once one has achieved personal freedom from the fear of judgment, they can inspire others to overcome their own insecurities.
- π The final challenge of convincing a stranger to skydive in a chicken suit symbolizes the culmination of Garrett's journey from fear to fearlessness.
Q & A
What is the main theme of the video?
-The main theme of the video is overcoming the fear of what others think and achieving a state of 'non-fuckery' or not caring about unnecessary concerns and judgments.
What is the 'spotlight effect' mentioned in the script?
-The 'spotlight effect' is a psychological phenomenon where people tend to believe others are paying more attention to them than they actually are, often leading to anxiety and self-consciousness.
Who is David Foster Wallace and what quote is attributed to him in the script?
-David Foster Wallace is an author known for his profound insights into human nature. The quote attributed to him in the script is about realizing that people rarely think about you as much as you think they do, which can help alleviate worries about others' opinions.
What was the purpose of having Garrett hand out 'Flat Earth' flyers in public?
-The purpose was to challenge Garrett's 'spotlight effect' and help him realize that people do not pay as much attention to him as he might think, thus reducing his anxiety and fear of public embarrassment.
What is CoPilot and how does it relate to the video?
-CoPilot is a fitness coaching service that provides personalized workouts and accountability. It is mentioned in the video as a sponsor and is used to illustrate the concept of overcoming fear and embarrassment through a public workout challenge.
What is the significance of Garrett going on dates with professional models and asking awkward questions?
-The significance is to demonstrate the willingness to face rejection and to practice authenticity in social interactions, which is a step towards not caring about others' opinions and embracing one's true self.
What is the difference between performance and authenticity in relationships as discussed in the script?
-Performance in relationships is about trying to say or do the right things to get people to like you, which can be stressful and inauthentic. Authenticity, on the other hand, involves being true to oneself and not being afraid of rejection, leading to healthier and more genuine relationships.
Why is the willingness to look like an idiot considered the bedrock of not giving a fuck?
-The willingness to look like an idiot signifies an acceptance of potential embarrassment or failure, which is essential in overcoming the fear of judgment and embracing a carefree attitude.
What is the significance of Garrett learning to breakdance and then dancing at a nightclub?
-The significance lies in embracing the joy of learning and the process of improvement, even if it means being bad at something initially. It also represents the freedom to pursue one's interests without the fear of judgment.
What is the final challenge for Garrett involving a chicken suit and skydiving?
-The final challenge involves Garrett convincing a stranger to go skydiving while wearing a chicken suit. This is to test his newfound confidence and internal freedom, as well as to inspire others to overcome their fears.
Outlines
π Overcoming Anxiety Through Nonchalance
The speaker begins the video by candidly discussing the freedom that comes from not over-worrying about life's trivial concerns. They introduce the concept of 'non-fuck-giving' as a liberating philosophy, aiming to guide viewers through five levels of this mindset. The video's premise involves a fan named Garrett, who is challenged to face his anxieties and societal pressures by engaging in daring activities, symbolizing the process of shedding unnecessary cares. The spotlight effect is introduced as a psychological phenomenon where people overestimate others' attention to them, which the speaker aims to debunk through the video's challenges.
π Embracing Embarrassment and Authenticity
This paragraph delves into the idea of overcoming the fear of public humiliation and the importance of authenticity in relationships. The speaker uses Garrett's experience of handing out controversial flyers to illustrate the concept of tolerating embarrassment. It discusses the evolutionary conditioning that leads to fear of rejection and the liberation that comes from embracing authenticity. Garrett's journey is highlighted as he goes on uncomfortable dates with models, learning to face rejection and to value honesty over people's approval.
π Dancing Towards Personal Freedom
The speaker emphasizes the joy of personal freedom by encouraging the embrace of failure and the process of learning new skills. Garrett is challenged to learn breakdancing and to perform it at a club, symbolizing the willingness to be bad at something initially in order to grow and enjoy the process. The paragraph discusses the societal pressure to achieve immediate perfection and the liberating effect of focusing on the journey rather than the outcome.
π Skydiving in a Chicken Suit: The Pinnacle of Nonchalance
In the final paragraph, the speaker discusses the pinnacle of 'non-fuckery'βthe point where one is undeterred by embarrassment, rejection, ridicule, or failure. Garrett is challenged to convince a stranger to go skydiving while wearing a chicken suit, a task that tests his newfound confidence and internal freedom. Despite initial rejections, Garrett's persistence eventually pays off, and he successfully convinces a group to join him and the speaker in a skydiving adventure, demonstrating the power of overcoming personal inhibitions.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Nonchalant
π‘Fear
π‘Spotlight Effect
π‘Authenticity
π‘Rejection
π‘Embarrassment
π‘Performance vs. Authenticity
π‘Failure
π‘Internal Freedom
π‘Moral Duty
π‘Skydiving
Highlights
Introduction of the concept of 'non-fuck giving' as a way to live a life free from meaningless anxiety and unnecessary concerns.
The five levels of non-fuck giving are introduced, each demonstrating a higher level of non-fuckery.
The importance of embodying non-fuckery in life, not just learning about it.
The story of Garrett, who is challenged to overcome his excessive concern for others' opinions.
The spotlight effect in psychology and how it contributes to unnecessary anxiety.
A quote from David Foster Wallace emphasizing the rarity of others' thoughts about us.
The challenge for Garrett to distribute Flat Earth flyers to overcome his spotlight effect.
The idea that tolerating embarrassment is fundamental to not giving a fuck.
Garrett's experience of handing out flyers and the reactions of the public.
The fear of public humiliation and its comparison to the fear of death.
The concept of overcoming evolutionary conditioning to not fear embarrassment or rejection.
Garrett's challenge to work out in a public space as part of a sponsored segment.
The importance of facing romantic rejection and the value of authenticity in relationships.
Garrett's dates with models and the awkward questions asked to embrace authenticity.
The realization that one doesn't have to please everyone and can choose who they want to be with.
The freedom that comes from not caring about others' opinions, allowing for risk-taking and exploration.
Garrett's experience learning to breakdance and the joy of being bad at something new.
The final challenge for Garrett to convince a stranger to go skydiving while wearing a chicken suit.
The moral imperative to help others overcome their doubts and insecurities after one's own liberation.
Garrett's transformation and newfound confidence in approaching strangers and the final skydiving challenge.
The ultimate message of the video: to pursue one's goals and dreams without hesitation, as life is short.
Transcripts
- I'm currently 3000 feet above the ground
with no parachute.
But you know what? I don't give a (beep).
Do you care?
- Don't care.
- Yeah, I don't care.
Every day, hundreds of millions of people
suffer from giving too many (beep).
They spend their lives in prison by meaningless anxiety
and unnecessary concerns.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
In this video,
I'm going to walk you through the five levels
of non (beep) giving.
Each level demonstrating more non-fuckery than the last.
You will learn step by step how to face your fears,
how to stop worrying what other people think,
and how to achieve the eternal bliss of a fuckless life.
But it's not enough to simply learn how to not give a fuck,
you have to live it.
You have to embody your non fuckery.
So to illustrate each of these life lessons,
I flew out to Atlanta and met with a fan named Garrett.
Now, Garrett had specifically told me
that he gave too many fucks in his life,
and so I enlisted his best friend Alex.
And together,
we pushed him through five life-changing challenges
that purged him of all unnecessary fuck-giving.
In the beginning, he was meek and shy,
but by the end, I had him jumping out of planes,
asking out models,
and of course, dressing like a fucking chicken.
Let's get your beaks ready motherfuckers 'cause class is in.
In psychology,
there's something known as the spotlight effect.
Now, the spotlight effect says that we all tend to assume
that people are paying far more attention to us
than they actually are.
Think back to the last time you got a terrible haircut.
Chances are you walked around all day
assuming that everybody was staring
at that tragedy of a mop on your head.
But the reality was most people didn't notice.
And if they noticed, they sure didn't care.
One of my favorite quotes ever
comes from the author David Foster Wallace.
He said that "You will stop worrying so much
what other people think about you
when you realize how seldom they do."
As someone who grew up with a lot of social anxiety,
this idea was absolutely profound to me.
But the problem is the idea by itself is not sufficient.
You have to get out into the world and experience it.
You have to get out and challenge your own spotlight effect.
Now, does that mean you have to put on a chicken suit
and walk down the Venice Boardwalk?
No, of course not.
But it does mean you have to do something.
You have to challenge yourself.
You have to put yourself into public
and into uncomfortable situations
and prove to yourself conclusively
that nobody's paying attention and nobody gives a shit.
This is what I did with Garrett,
and I guarantee you he hated every single second of it.
Tolerating embarrassment
is the bedrock of not giving a fuck,
so I had my team design and print 50 Flat Earth flyers.
Garrett's challenge was to hand them all out in public.
The goal, to destroy his inner spotlight effect.
- The fact that he actually believes
that kind of stuff too is dope.
- I don't like at all.
- That would be easy for him. - Super easy.
- Just share the good news, man.
- You got this. - All righty.
- You ready? - Yeah, I'll do it.
(upbeat music)
- Right there. Right there.
- No. - Uh-Oh.
- Chicken shit. Chicken shit.
Chicken shit, yo. (Mark laughing)
- Yeah. There you go.
- I'm good. Thank you. - Good? (sighs)
Hey, excuse me. You good?
(both laughing)
- You know what he should do?
He should hand it to them and he should be like,
"Nah, I don't think you're worthy of this."
- You're not worthy. - You're not worthy.
- You're not ready for this.
- You're not ready for all this science.
- Science. - I love science.
- There you are. This is the best science in the world.
- I got you. - Yep. Thank you, man.
- Most people,
once Garrett got over his initial embarrassment,
it turned out he was pretty good.
- I'm just gonna hand this out. No elaboration.
There you are.
- Hey, do you want one? I'm just give it to you.
There you go. Thank you, man.
- Objectively, why would it benefit anyone
to lie above the earth's size?
- That's smart. Cool.
Thank you, man. I appreciate it.
- Surveys show that the one thing
that people are more afraid of than death
is public humiliation.
- Run after her, dude.
(laughing) That's so fucking creepy.
- You good? Sure?
- I gotta give him credit.
- No, I mean... - He's got balls.
- He's got balls.
He's doing it. - He's got balls.
- Hey, how are you guys?
- How you doing?
- Good. Sick cap by the way, I like that.
There you go. - Thanks, man.
- Oh, two more for the kids or no? All right.
(both laughing)
- Part of not giving a fuck
is overcoming that evolutionary conditioning.
Training yourself. You're not gonna die.
If you embarrass yourself, if people laugh at you,
the crowd doesn't want to go the way you go,
nothing's gonna happen.
You know why? 'Cause nobody's fucking thinking about you.
Everybody is busy thinking about their own shit
and worrying about themselves.
They don't care what you're doing.
- I'm just gonna hand it to you. No elaboration.
- I believe flat earth- - There we are. There you are.
- All right, I'm gonna intervene for a second.
Hey, Garrett.
Time out.
First of all, you're crushing it.
- Really?
- You're killing, like- - I hate it. I hate it.
- All right, so you still got...
- Yeah, I got a lot left. - 15.
All right. I'll make a deal with you.
This video is sponsored. If you do the ad read for me...
- Yeah.
- We can throw half those away.
- Deal.
- [Mark] This video is sponsored by CoPilot,
A fitness coach that goes wherever you go.
So to prove that point,
I made Garrett work out in a mall food court.
- CoPilot is a fitness made easy.
- Sorry, I'm bad at this. Okay.
- When you sign up for CoPilot,
you are assigned a personal fitness coach.
Your trainer creates personalized workouts for you
based on your individual needs or goals.
- [Mark] Best of all, your coach meets with you every week
and keeps you on track and accountable.
You can use CoPilot at home, at the gym...
- Or even in public. (chuckles)
- Oh, hi.
- Let me see the paperwork and manual.
- Sorry. We can go outside.
With CoPilot,
you never have to worry if you're doing the wrong thing.
- Your CoPilot coach figures out
and plans everything for you.
By now, you've probably noticed
how fucking hot and ripped Mark is. (laughing)
This is partly due to CoPilot.
So sign up for CoPilot today,
so you too can be fucking hot and ripped.
Oh, and healthy too.
- Click the link in the description
to get your free 14-day trial to CoPilot
and get your first consultation today.
Good job, man. - Thank you. (both laughing)
- If the willingness to look like an idiot
is the bedrock of not giving a fuck,
the next step is to be willing to face rejection.
And what better rejection than romantic rejection.
It's one thing to not care what strangers think,
but what about people you actually care about?
Are you willing to say things
that your friends and family might not approve of?
Are you comfortable having difficult conversations?
Are you afraid to embarrass yourself on a date?
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, shit, no. (laughing)
This is so ridiculous.
Most of us tie up our self-esteem
and our romantic successes and failures.
I'm just like constantly trying to hang on.
That way. No, your feet that way.
But that's why I made Garrett go on dates
with 10 professional models
while asking them the most awkward
and uncomfortable questions possible.
- I think we nailed that. - Awesome.
- Yay.
- If you had to compare your sex life to a type of food,
what would it be?
- Wow.
- Ladies first. - Whatever the spiciest
Asian food out there is.
That's my sex life. - Really?
- Oh, yeah. Always.
- Damn spicy. - Always spicy.
Just being honest. (laughing)
- Yeah, I like that.
That's a good answer. - Honesty, you know,
honesty is key, you know.
- Damn, this is a question that I was not ready for.
- What comes to the top of your mind? Like the first word?
There's gotta be something. - Yeah, sushi,
but that could go wrong though.
- Sushi. - Yeah, that can go wrong
'cause... - Dude, what?
- That's the first thing, my bad.
- You don't wanna bring raw fish.
- I know, I know, I know.
That's what I'm saying.
That's why I didn't wanna say it at first. (all laughing)
This is card.
What do people most often get wrong about you?
- Ooh, that's a very good question.
- Uh. Hmm.
That I can be mean. (chuckles)
I'm usually nice all the time, honestly.
I'm very open and honest.
- Really? So people think, wow.
- Yeah. - Okay. That's interesting.
I don't know what people most often get wrong about me.
- These are really- - You're killing me, dude.
- Do I need to answer these questions for you?
(all laughing)
- Is it that you're actually not shy
and that you're actually...
- Yeah, maybe that's what it is, like...
- No, no. Come on. (all laughing)
- I am really sorry.
- So I have to interrupt this relationship segment
for just a second to explain something.
There are two ways to approach your relationships.
Performance and authenticity.
People like Garrett who give way too many fucks,
they tend to see the relationships in terms of performance.
They view every social situation
in terms of "What do I say or do to get people to like me?"
And then they try to say or do that.
- Did you play any sports?
- I personally train people at the gym so...
- Really? - Yeah.
- I actually have a friend
that does something similar to that.
- This is a terrible way to live, for a bunch of reasons.
The first is just that it's incredibly stressful.
I mean, every social interaction
basically becomes like an exam at school
where you have to say and do the exact right things
to get the result.
But the real reason
is that it prevents you from having healthy relationships
in the first place.
Even if you do perform in the right way
and get people to like you,
you will never fully trust that they like you for you.
What comes after that?
Oh, that's it, right?
- [Cameraman] That was it. That was it, you just...
- Whatever. (laughing)
Once you've been rejected romantically enough times,
you realize there's no reason to protect yourself
and no reason to be afraid of criticism.
The big breakthrough for most people comes
when they finally drop the performance
and embrace authenticity.
βͺ Authenticity βͺ
Because of performance
guarantees that you're gonna feel rejected eventually,
you might as well get rejected for who you already are.
This is what happens
when you start approaching relationships with authenticity,
by being unapologetic in who you are
and living with the results.
By realizing that you don't have to wait around
for people to choose you,
you can also choose them.
Hey there, Duckie. (chuckles)
How are you?
Garrett seemed to start to understand this
about halfway through his dates with the models,
he started to realize
he didn't have to make every girl like him.
In fact, he can decide if he likes the girl,
and this simple switch changed everything.
- Tell her what you find attractive about her.
- Oh, wow. Okay.
- Let's see.
I don't really know you though.
I feel like your most attractive characteristic
is like internally.
- Oh. - So I don't know.
- Okay.
- You seem like a really genuine person.
- I'll definitely take that. - Okay.
What's the craziest place you've ever had sex?
(both laughing)
- There we go.
- I'm a boring girl. - Okay.
But that leaves room for improvement so...
- Valid. That's valid. - Yeah.
What kind of porn do you like to watch?
- Lesbian.
- Lesbian? - Yeah.
- That was quick. You didn't even think about that.
- No. I think there's just something sensual
about two women together. - Yeah.
- With heterosexual sex,
it's so much about like penetration.
And I feel like with women,
it's a more like central experience.
- [Garrett] Yeah.
- So that's why I like watching it more.
- What's your biggest irrational fear?
- Getting into a fight with a giraffe. (Mark laughing)
- Getting into a fight
with a giraffe. - Giraffe.
- Too many spots?
- No, it's the height. (both laughing)
- Dude, he's killing it. He's fucking crushing it.
- I like you. I gotta get your number then.
Is that okay? - Sure. No, that's fine.
- I'll have to grab your number then.
- Yeah.
- Well, we could definitely
carry on this conversation if you like.
- Okay, I like that. - Cool.
It was a pleasure meeting you.
- It's been delightful.
- It has been delightful.
- Goodbye.
- You're cool as a cucumber now.
- Really?
- You're only mildly awkward. - Yeah. (both laughing)
(upbeat music)
- Something incredible happens when you stop giving a fuck
about other people's opinions about you.
It gives you the freedom to fail.
All those things you've been curious about,
all those adventures you've dreamed of
but been too scared to pursue,
it all suddenly opens up to you,
because the people who previously got in your way
aren't there anymore.
- Yo. - What's up?
- Welcome.
All right. You ready for this?
- Yeah. What is this?
So he's gonna teach you how to break dance,
and then we're gonna go to the club tonight
and you're gonna show off your new moves on the dance floor.
(Alex laughing)
You ever break dance before?
- No. Never.
- [Mark] You ever danced before?
- Yeah, it's not break dancing.
- Most people are afraid to try something new
because they don't wanna be bad at something.
But the fact of the matter is,
you can't be good at something
until you're terrible at it first.
- The first one can be a first step, so we'll be here.
The arms front.
So then you're gonna step forward like that,
more like across from you.
Boom, then we'll go back, and then step all the way.
- Most of us are two results-oriented
and not enough process-oriented,
and I think a lot of this comes from the way we're raised.
You grow up and you're rewarded for getting an A on the test
or getting a gold star at the activity.
Everything is about "Can you achieve this result?
And then we will reward you."
- Oh, there you go.
He's doing the whole thing, boom.
Boom. Six steps.
Is like this.
- But the fact of the matter is
life doesn't actually work that way.
In fact, in many ways, life rewards the willingness to fail,
life rewards the person
who is willing to embarrass themselves a little bit,
who's willing to take some risks.
- There you go.
Can't be scared to go to your back. Go to your back.
- Garrett is a bonafide perfectionist.
He's one of those people who will not try to do something
unless he knows he can do it perfectly
and so step four is to get him to be bad at something.
To show him that there's a joy in the process of learning,
of improving, of developing a new skill set.
So I ask you, what are you unapologetically bad at?
What are you more than happy to be terrible at
because it brings so much joy to your life?
If you can't answer that easily,
well, then that's probably a fucking problem.
- You're gonna be ready? - Yeah.
- Be ready. - Yeah. Good, I'm good.
Thank you, man. - Of course.
- I appreciate it. - Of course, bro.
βͺ Feel your eyes, they all over me βͺ
βͺ Don't be shy, take control of me βͺ
βͺ Get the vibe, it's gonna be lit tonight βͺ
βͺ Baby girl, yuh a carry ten ton a phatness βͺ
βͺ Gimme some a dat βͺ
βͺ Mixed wid di badness, look how she hot βͺ
βͺ Shaped like goddess, but a nah jus dat βͺ
βͺ Is a good piece a mentals under di cap βͺ
- That night in the nightclub,
as Garrett danced the way elderly people fuck,
I realized that he was tasting for the first time
the sweet, sweet internal freedom
that comes from not giving a fuck.
That he felt zero pressure, zero regret.
He wanted to dance, so he went and danced.
βͺ No lie, gyal yuh never miss βͺ
βͺ Feel your eyes, they're all over me βͺ
βͺ Don't be shy, take control of me βͺ
βͺ Get the vibe, it's gonna be lit tonight βͺ
βͺ Gyal yuh never miss, gyal yuh never miss, no lie βͺ
(upbeat music)
Congratulations.
We've made it, my friends, to the pinnacle.
Undeterred by embarrassment, rejection,
ridicule or failure,
we have achieved the perfect freedom of non-fuckery.
Welcome to the zero fucks zone.
Up until this point, I've been primarily challenging Garrett
to embarrass himself in front of strangers.
But what if we turn that around?
What if we took Garrett's newfound internal freedom,
his surmounting of his doubts and insecurities,
and used his newfound superpower
to help others overcome their doubts
and insecurities as well?
After all, emotions are contagious,
and once we've liberated ourselves
from our imagined constraints,
it's our moral duty
to help liberate other people from theirs.
So I brought Garrett back to a crowded shopping center
and challenged him to convince a stranger
to go skydiving with us.
But you have to do it wearing the chicken suit.
- What? Are you...
Okay. (both Laughing)
- And while he suited up,
I wondered just how different of a Garrett we would see
compared to the first challenge.
Here we go.
- You guys wanna go skydiving? No?
Do you guys wanna go skydiving?
- No. Thank you. - No?
You guys wanna go skydiving?
- Interesting, but no.
- You wanna go skydiving?
- No.
- [Mark] I was impressed by Garrett's confidence.
It was a stark contrast to just a few days earlier
when it took him 10 minutes
to even get close to approaching someone
- Chicken shit yow. (Mark laughing)
- Y'all wanna go skydiving?
- No, thank you though.
- [Mark] Now he really was chicken shit
and he was completely okay with it.
- Morgan, it's a chicken. (Garrett imitates a chicken)
- After getting shut down for about an hour,
we took a break, and then this happened.
- We do love skydiving.
- I've never been.
- [Lady In Dress] I'm not ready for this.
- Hey brother, I'm not ready either.
- [Guy] I'm not ready, buddy.
- I'm in a chicken soup and I'm for sure not ready.
- I'll go if you go. - I would go. I would.
- [Mark] Are you guys in?
- Yeah, I'll go.
- Yes, let's go. - Yes.
- Quick side note,
it turns out that Garrett
is absolutely terrified of heights.
The dude never told me.
So while he killed the social part of the challenge,
the fact that he had to jump out of an airplane,
well, I thought he was gonna piss in his chicken suit.
(upbeat music)
βͺ White man came across the sea βͺ
βͺ He brought us pain and misery βͺ
Look, you and everyone you know are gonna die one day.
So what the fuck are you waiting for?
That goal you have, that dream you keep to yourself,
that person you wanna meet.
What are you letting stop you? Go do it.
Because seriously, who gives a fuck?
βͺ Run to the hills βͺ
βͺ Run for your lives βͺ
βͺ Run to the hills βͺ
βͺ Run for your lives βͺ
(upbeat music)
You did it, dude.
- Woo.
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