Why Your Life Is So Boring - 4 Habits To Find Fulfilment
Summary
TLDRThis video script explores the concept of self-actualization, as introduced by Abraham Maslow, and its role in finding daily fulfillment. The speaker discusses the challenges of the mundane and the importance of actively seeking fulfillment in one's life journey. They share four habits to cultivate self-actualization, emphasizing the need to find joy and meaning in everyday activities, diversifying sources of fulfillment, building a positive influence circle, and practicing patience. The script encourages viewers to redefine their understanding of success and happiness beyond traditional milestones.
Takeaways
- π Itβs easy to feel unfulfilled when life seems monotonous and lacks clear progression.
- π Life can be divided into three parts: childhood and education, a long period of work, and finally retirement.
- π The uncertainty of whatβs next in life can be daunting.
- ποΈ Maslowβs hierarchy of needs places self-actualization at the top, suggesting fulfillment comes after all other needs are met.
- π Self-actualization should be a daily action, not just an end goal.
- π¬ Seek fulfillment daily by engaging in activities that bring joy and move you closer to your goals.
- π€ Itβs important to find fulfillment in multiple areas of life, not just from a single passion.
- π Surround yourself with positive influences and distance from negative people.
- β Be patient and understand that fulfillment often takes time and persistence.
- π Even in unfulfilling times, keep striving as patience and effort can turn them into fulfilling experiences.
Q & A
What is the main concern expressed by the speaker about their life?
-The speaker is concerned about feeling a lack of fulfillment in life due to the monotony of daily routines and the uncertainty of what comes next in their life journey.
What is the three-part narrative the speaker describes about their life?
-The three-part narrative includes childhood and studying, a 30 to 50-year period of work with progression but no grand change, and the final part of getting old and having more time to do what one wants.
What is the concept of self-actualization as introduced by Abraham Maslow?
-Self-actualization is the idea of achieving a sense of fulfillment and realizing one's full potential, which sits at the top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
Why does the speaker feel that the concept of self-actualization as an end destination is problematic?
-The speaker believes that viewing self-actualization as an end destination detracts from the ability to find fulfillment in everyday life and makes it seem unattainable until all other life goals are met.
What are the four habits the speaker suggests to help build a sense of self-actualization in daily life?
-The four habits are: 1) Making self-actualization a daily action, 2) Finding fulfillment in multiple areas of life, 3) Building a circle of positive influence, and 4) Being patient with the process of finding fulfillment.
How does the speaker recommend starting the day to incorporate self-actualization?
-The speaker suggests starting the day by actively thinking about where and how one will find fulfillment during the day, setting intentions for activities that will bring joy and move them closer to their goals.
What is the importance of seeking out opportunities to do what you love according to the speaker?
-Seeking out opportunities to do what you love is important because it allows you to create moments of fulfillment for yourself and to realize your potential in the present, rather than waiting for a future time.
Why does the speaker advise against focusing on a single passion for fulfillment?
-The speaker advises against this because fulfillment can be found in multiple areas of life, not just a single passion. This approach reduces the pressure of finding one thing to provide all fulfillment and allows for a more balanced and happy life.
What role does the speaker suggest that building a circle of positive influence plays in achieving self-actualization?
-Building a circle of positive influence is crucial as it helps to surround oneself with people and media that inspire and motivate towards fulfillment, while disassociating from negative influences that can drain energy and hinder progress.
Why is patience important in the journey towards self-actualization according to the speaker?
-Patience is important because the journey towards self-actualization is long and involves periods of less fulfillment. Being patient allows one to endure tough times and to appreciate the growth and progress that comes with time.
What does the speaker suggest if someone is unsure about what activities they enjoy doing?
-The speaker suggests asking oneself what they would do if money were not an option and identifying activities that make them lose track of time. These reflections can help uncover what one truly enjoys and can find fulfillment in.
Outlines
π Seeking Fulfillment Beyond Routine
The speaker reflects on the feeling of lack of fulfillment in life due to repetitive daily routines and the uncertainty of the future. They describe life as a three-part narrative with childhood, a long middle period of work, and old age. The middle period, which includes work and progression, lacks a clear next step, causing fear and unease. The speaker was inspired by the concept of self-actualization from Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs, which suggests that fulfillment is at the peak of human motivation, after basic needs, love, and esteem are met. The speaker aims to share habits to cultivate self-actualization daily, rather than as an end goal.
π Cultivating Daily Fulfillment Habits
The speaker emphasizes the importance of making self-actualization a daily action, sharing personal examples of seeking opportunities to contribute and build relationships at work. They argue that it's possible to find fulfillment in the present, regardless of career stage, by actively seeking out and doing what one enjoys and is good at. The speaker encourages identifying activities that one loses themselves in and suggests considering what one would do if money were no object. They also stress the importance of finding fulfillment in multiple areas of life, not just a single passion or professional success.
π€ Expanding Positive Influences for Fulfillment
The speaker discusses the significance of surrounding oneself with positive influences and disassociating from negativity to foster a sense of fulfillment. They suggest a two-track strategy of reducing interactions with energy-draining individuals and increasing time spent with those who contribute positively to one's life. Additionally, the speaker advocates for consuming media that provides positive influence and motivation. The speaker also highlights the importance of patience, acknowledging that finding fulfillment is a long-term process and that it's crucial not to be disheartened by short-term setbacks.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Self-Actualization
π‘Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
π‘Fulfillment
π‘Career Progression
π‘Daily Habits
π‘Positive Influence
π‘Patience
π‘Interpersonal Relationships
π‘Multi-Area Fulfillment
π‘Goal Setting
Highlights
The feeling of lack of fulfillment in life can stem from a monotonous routine and uncertainty about the future.
Life is often viewed in a three-part narrative: childhood and studying, work, and retirement.
The middle part of life's narrative, involving work, can feel stagnant without clear signs of progression or evolution.
Self-actualization, as introduced by Abraham Maslow, is the ultimate goal at the top of the hierarchy of needs.
Grace Beverley's audiobook 'Working Hard, Hardly Working' discusses the concept of self-actualization in daily life.
Self-actualization should not be seen as an end destination but as a part of the journey.
Four habits are suggested to integrate self-actualization into daily life, rather than as a distant goal.
The first habit is making self-actualization a daily action, starting the day with intentions to find fulfillment.
Seeking opportunities to contribute and build relationships at work can lead to a sense of fulfillment.
It's important not to wait until a later stage in life or career to start doing what brings fulfillment.
Finding fulfillment does not require loving every aspect of one's daily life but actively seeking enjoyable activities.
People can find fulfillment in multiple areas of life, not just through a single passion or career.
The idea of a single purpose can be limiting; fulfillment can be found in various aspects of life.
Building a circle of positive influence is crucial for maintaining a sense of fulfillment.
Disassociating from negativity and surrounding oneself with positivity can enhance one's sense of fulfillment.
Patience is essential in finding fulfillment, as not all periods in life will be fulfilling, and growth takes time.
Even tasks that initially seem unfulfilling can become rewarding with time and persistence.
The video concludes with an encouragement to find fulfillment in everyday life and to set ambitious goals for personal growth.
Transcripts
so
[Music]
so i think it's pretty easy to feel
you lack fulfillment in life when you
feel like you're just doing the same old
stuff day in day out like
life when you live it and you've got a
job at least and there's no kind of
clear next step in your journey as i am
currently finding it's kind of scary
what is next where do i go from here or
is my life now for the next 30 to 50
years just day in day out doing work
trying to progress in my career somewhat
doing more or less the same stuff each
and every day when i look at my life it
kind of falls into this three-part
narrative i had childhood and studying
and this kind of world where everything
was laid out before you you knew what
your next step was get to this point
where the middle of my kind of narrative
is a 30 to 50 year period of work and
doing similar things obviously there's
progression but there's no grand change
or evolution that is immediately obvious
at least when you look in from the
outside and i think that uncertainty of
that path is difficult and i'm
definitely finding that and the third
part of the narrative is then like
getting old i guess and having like more
time again to do the stuff you want to
and you get to that point in your life
and it's like yeah okay like i've worked
all this time so i've achieved the end
destination of being retired and having
money and being able to provided like i
don't have crippling arthritis in my
knees go and do some traveling but
surely like that cannot be a destination
that we're focused on at this age we
surely need to find fulfillment in our
day-to-day lives every single day even
in this middle section of our story and
these were exactly the thoughts that i
was having just a couple of weeks ago
walking along the train platform on my
way home around 11 30 p.m having worked
a really long couple of weeks and
thinking you know like what am i doing
and i was listening at the time to an
audiobook grace beverly's working hard
hardly working and she mentioned this
idea of self-actualization
and this idea was first put out there
into the world by abraham maslow the
american psychologist who is famous for
maslow's hierarchy of needs which he
introduced in his 1943 paper a theory of
human motivation so self-actualization
sits right at the very peak of maslow's
hierarchy of needs so we need to have
food and water then we need to have
safety then we need to have love and
relationships then we need to make sure
that we feel a sense of esteem and pride
in our work and we need to make sure
that we feel valued in the community in
which we exist and then right at the
very top we can finally pursue a sense
of fulfillment in everything that we do
and that bit is a self-actualization bit
the problem that grace talks about in
her book with this idea of the hierarchy
of needs though is that in places
self-actualization this feeling of
fulfillment this feeling of really being
proud of everything that we're doing and
wanting to do the very best and feeling
like we're achieving kind of big things
it's right at the top it's right at the
end destination once we've done all of
these other things in our life and that
means that it does feel exactly like
that like a destination to be reached
like we will somehow feel fulfillment
once we have done all of these things
once we have achieved our goals once we
have got to a place once we've got
literally to the summit of the mountain
that we're all climbing and that takes
away from our ability to self-actualize
on a daily basis to find fulfillment in
the everyday so i want to share with you
the four habits that i've really been
building over the last year and i hope
that these four habits will help you
build into your daily life a sense that
you are actively for yourself creating
fulfillment creating self-actualization
as part of the journey rather than
conceiving of it as the end destination
the pinnacle at the top of the mountain
at the end of your journey so my first
habit is to make self-actualization
a daily action it's something that you
can do and practically that means that
each and every morning i have so far
this year been starting my day either on
my commute to work or when i'm walking
to the gym or when i'm on my morning
stroll by thinking actively about places
that i'm gonna find fulfillment in my
day and things that i'm gonna do that
are gonna bring me not only joy but move
me closer to the goals that i've set for
this year the things that i at the end
of the day then will be able to reflect
back on and feel like yes i did that and
i feel really good about where i'm going
in that part of my life so to give you
an example at work i absolutely love
having the opportunity to talk to more
senior people and share my ideas and
really feel like i'm contributing so i
have actively been trying to seek out
opportunities where i can really add
value to them and on one of the matters
i've been working on every time there
has been a point that i've been asked to
look into and they've been like okay can
you just research this i've actively
made an effort to then call the
associate afterwards once i've sent my
kind of finding email just saying like
let me just talk you through this and
i've built up a relationship with this
person i'm not taking their time they
respect me and know now that i'm able to
add value and that's because i really
enjoy talking through things adding
value and feeling like i'm really
involved it would be so easy for me not
to do that to feel like oh that'll come
later in my career i'll find that sense
of fulfillment in three years time when
i'm more senior but fundamentally i can
create that for myself now it's
something i find fulfilling two
important points you do not have to find
every or even the majority of the things
you do in your day-to-day life
fulfilling in order to be
self-actualizing everyone including
grace beverly who's a ceo of multiple
successful companies including me who
makes videos and does all this like
seemingly cool stuff like there is so
much rubbish that comes with
running a business or being an
influencer or doing a job or being a
student like everything has bad elements
and you don't have to love all of them
but what you do have to do is actively
seek out ways in your daily life to
build in the things that you love doing
you're never too early in your career or
in your life to be offering to do the
things you are really good at and really
enjoy doing and find fulfillment doing
so if you love research offer to
everyone in your department to do
research for them if you love personal
interaction offer to take cool notes
like literally send out an email to
everyone you've worked with saying if
you ever have a call and need someone
say a cool note i'm more than happy to
do it so you can get involved in that
interpersonal interaction and
potentially get invited to meetings if
you do a good job realize that it is up
to you and you alone to start creating
the moments for yourself when you are
doing what you like doing most and
ultimately it's only up to you to make
sure that you're realizing your
potential and finding that fulfillment
and it doesn't just have to be at work
if you really love helping people then
volunteer at the weekend if you love
talking or sharing information teaching
which i personally absolutely love i
have chosen to make these videos you
could do exactly the same and the second
point is if you feel like you're
thinking yeah but i don't know what i
enjoy doing i don't really have any
hobbies i don't really have anything
that i really enjoy ask yourself two
questions the first one is what would i
spend my time doing if money were not an
option and you might think like oh yeah
i go and lie on a beach for the rest of
my life doing nothing that is not true
you would get bored like what would you
actually choose to do and then on top of
that i think you can also ask the
question what are the activities that
when you're doing them
you find you lose yourself you don't
feel the need to eat or sleep you just
kind of get into this rhythm and once
you're going you don't stop think about
those two questions what are the answers
and what activities do you enjoy doing
and then find ways to do those
activities it doesn't matter in what
context really it just matters that
you're doing those things that you're
good at and that you find you lose
yourself in next up i think it's
absolutely crucial that we all get into
a habit of finding fulfillment in
multiple areas of our lives i think we
tend to focus excessively on the idea of
a single purpose the idea that you have
to find your passion you have to find
the one thing that you really love and
that will bring you fulfillment scrap
that realize that you can find
fulfillment in being an exceptional
parent or brother or friend in talking
to your friend when they're in a dark
place and you're really helping them and
making them feel better find fulfillment
in that that is a fulfilling thing and
you should realize that or if you're
watching tv with your partner think
yeah i'm really happy right now doing
nothing i'm just loving drive just five
by the way the show that beth and i
currently watching so good definitely
gonna be an f1 fan after it anyway you
can find genuine fulfillment in feeling
like huh i'm really happy right now it's
not like you have to find a single
passion and that's the only source of
fulfillment you can have interpersonal
relationships can provide you with
fulfillment as can your professional
life as can hobbies outside of your
professional life as can volunteering
there's so many different things that
people can prioritize and want to be
good at and once you realize that and
stop attaching your entire self-worth an
entire sense of fulfillment to
professional fulfillment i think that's
a hugely liberating thing and something
that over the last 24 months has been a
huge focus for me and it has made me so
much happier so remember very very few
people find their life fulfillment from
one single passion instead most people
find many things that they think are
really important to them over the course
of their lives and then they actively
seek to feel fulfilled in doing those
things
third is to build your circle of
positive influence and that means
thinking on a daily basis about the
people that you associate with
disassociating from the negative
basically moaners who do nothing but
find problems in their lives and don't
try to solve them and then at the same
time trying to build up positive
influences that you are consuming in the
media i think it's almost impossible to
feel fulfilled where when you are in a
team that is focused on negatives that
does not do much to try to solve its
problems no one in the team is finding
fulfillment in anything they're doing
because they're just constantly moaning
about everything that is wrong it's so
hard then for you to break the mold and
to be positive and to feel optimistic
about those things so i think build that
two-track strategy as a habit really in
your daily life thinking is this person
a drain on my energy and just interact
less with that person it doesn't mean
you have to break up with them and say i
never want to speak to you again just
talk to them less spend less time with
that person and on the flip side spend
time with positive people with people
who are also pursuing a sense of
fulfillment who find problems and want
to solve them and second everyone pretty
much has access to videos on youtube
hopefully mine podcasts audio books
reading papers everything that we're
consuming is a choice as to
how we see the world find things that in
your life give you positive influence
and motivation to find fulfillment and
my fourth and final habit is to be
patient i have in the past made myself
feel deeply unfulfilled because i
generally focus on relatively short
periods of time i'll have a bad week or
a bad month at work because i'll be
working doing something that isn't
hugely fulfilling that might be you know
a bit of a dull task frankly and i'll
then focus on that having been really
busy and just decide that you know i'm
completely unfulfilled by life and i
really hate it and then like two weeks
later i feel so much happier and better
with things and suddenly start to feel
really fulfilled because i'm doing more
interesting things at work and i'm doing
stuff outside of work i think being
patient and having
the kind of realization actually your
career is a very long time this middle
piece of the narrative is actually
relatively longer than we often feel
like it is
and i think just being patient being
able in those kind of tough times to say
it's okay like i will get back to
finding things that are fulfilling even
if right now i'm not hugely fulfilled
it's hugely powerful generally at the
start we're not that good at things and
it's difficult to find fulfillment when
you know you're working really hard on
something and not seeing results but as
you progress if you are patient and you
stick for example with this youtube
channel you know if after five videos i
had thought i have no one watching them
i found this horrendously hard i've had
to put in tons of work got no results
yeah i've been learning stuff i've been
so focused on like trying to improve and
putting pressure on myself i haven't
really enjoyed it actually it took
patience and it took 20 or 30 videos for
me to really find my flow and still at
times i find it difficult but i think
what i'm trying to say is
patience is essential i think to find
fulfillment in things where at times
things won't be fulfilling and you need
to not get yourself too down about that
it's okay and second there may be
opportunities to find fulfillment in
things that initially you find
unfulfilling if you fundamentally
dislike what you're doing or something
that's in your life you should stop it
life is too short but you absolutely
should first of all give it a good
chance because you never know some of
the things that are least fulfilling to
start with may ultimately end up being
extremely fulfilling so thanks so much
please do let me know what you thought
of this down in the comments give it a
like if you enjoyed it and if you did
like it you're probably also going to
like my video that i made at the start
of 2022 about how to change your life in
a year how to make your life what you
want it to be set really ambitious goals
build really positive habits and crush
it i look forward to speaking to you
again very very soon
5.0 / 5 (0 votes)