she falls in love with men who make her sad or men who cause emotional turbulence

Summary

The video discusses how emotional dynamics in relationships are driven by unpredictability and emotional turbulence. The speaker explains that women need emotional disruption—moments of sadness, jealousy, or conflict—to build deep emotional attachment. The idea is that a predictable, stable relationship will become boring, and only when a man causes emotional shifts does a woman feel deeply engaged. The speaker emphasizes that men should adopt a mix of unpredictability and emotional depth, pointing out that women are often drawn to the 'villain archetype'—a man who presents challenges that they feel they can fix or change.

Takeaways

• 😀 Emotions are often opposite to logic in relationships, especially in how women experience them.
• 😀 To make a woman love you, you need to cause emotional turbulence from time to time, such as making her sad or jealous.
• 😀 A predictable, emotionally steady man won't trigger the emotional highs and lows that women crave in relationships.
• 😀 Relationships move from casual to deeper when both individuals spend enough time together and start to know each other personally.
• 😀 Being unpredictable, such as flaking or leaving suddenly, creates emotional disruption that can strengthen the bond.
• 😀 Women often fall in love with the emotional complexity of a person, not just the predictable, stable good qualities like appearance or wealth.
• 😀 Women need emotional disruption (like negative emotions) in the relationship to feel excitement and avoid boredom.
• 😀 Men often don't have the courage to be unpredictable and cause emotional disruption, leading to predictable and boring interactions.
• 😀 Once the emotional disruption happens, the woman might even bring up conversations that were once only initiated by the man, signaling a deeper emotional involvement.
• 😀 The masculine/feminine dynamic involves the man bringing some level of problem or unpredictability that the woman feels compelled to solve or nurture.
• 😀 Women are more drawn to 'villain' archetypes in relationships because they find them emotionally complex and challenging, unlike the 'hero' archetype.

Q & A

What does the speaker mean by 'her emotions are opposite to your logic'?

The speaker suggests that women’s emotions can often defy logic or expectations. While men might rely on reasoning and predictability, women may find unpredictability or emotional turbulence more engaging in relationships. This creates a dynamic where emotional ups and downs can enhance feelings of attraction and connection.

Why does the speaker say that if you don’t make her sad, she’ll never love you?

The speaker believes that emotional disruption is necessary for deep emotional connection. If a man is too predictable and doesn’t cause some negative emotions (like sadness, jealousy, or frustration) from time to time, the woman may not feel the emotional intensity needed to develop love or a deeper bond.

What does the speaker mean by 'unpredictability' in a relationship?

Unpredictability refers to behaving in ways that are not easily anticipated by the woman, keeping her emotionally engaged. This could include actions like canceling plans at the last minute or leaving a situation abruptly. The idea is to create emotional tension that stirs feelings, making the relationship feel more dynamic and less routine.

How does 'unpredictability' strengthen a relationship?

By being unpredictable, you keep the relationship from becoming monotonous or too predictable. Emotional disruption, like causing a little tension or surprise, can intensify feelings and make the bond stronger, as the woman will feel more emotionally connected, wanting to understand or resolve the situation.

Why does the speaker believe a ‘Chad’ (a stereotypical attractive man) can fail in relationships?

The speaker argues that a ‘Chad,’ despite being physically attractive or successful, may be too predictable and overly easy to please. This predictability can lead to boredom or a lack of emotional depth in the relationship, as the woman may not feel the emotional turbulence necessary to develop a deeper connection.

What is the significance of the ‘father’ and ‘mother’ dynamics in relationships?

The speaker draws an analogy between masculine and feminine dynamics, where the man is likened to a father (offering protection and stability) and the woman to a mother (nurturing and caring). A woman may lose interest if she doesn't feel the desire to nurture and care for her partner, and the relationship may stagnate if the masculine partner doesn’t present challenges that stimulate her nurturing instincts.

What does the speaker mean by 'you have to be a problem that she wants to fix'?

The speaker suggests that a woman is more likely to develop deeper feelings for a man if he presents challenges or complexities that she feels compelled to solve or improve. A man who is too perfect or predictable doesn’t invoke the same emotional engagement that a man with flaws or mysteries might.

Why are women supposedly attracted to the 'villain archetype'?

The speaker explains that women are often drawn to complex characters, like villains, because they are problematic and offer the challenge of being 'fixed.' While a hero might be strong and predictable, the villain offers emotional depth and a story of redemption or transformation, which can be more compelling for women.

What does the speaker mean by 'the male gaze vs the female gaze'?

The male gaze is typically focused on physical attraction and outward strength, while the female gaze is drawn to the complexity of a person's character and the emotional story. The speaker implies that women are often more engaged by the depth of a person’s character and their flaws rather than by their external qualities alone.

How does the speaker suggest a man should behave in the early stages of dating?

In the early stages of dating, the speaker advises men to maintain a level of unpredictability and emotional engagement. By not being too easy to please or overly available, men can spark attraction and desire from the woman, making her chase after his validation and develop a deeper connection over time.