Why Finding Purpose Is SO HARD Today

Summary

The video script delves into the existential question of life's purpose, contrasting the monotony of routine with the relentless pursuit of success. It critiques the 'anti-work' and 'sigma grind set' lifestyles, suggesting both lack true purpose. The speaker posits that external distractions and societal pressures obscure individual desires, leading to a rise in issues like pornography addiction and suicide. Emphasizing the importance of internal reflection, the script advocates 'reaching the end of thought' to uncover one's authentic goals, thereby making life's challenges worthwhile and aligning actions with personal values.

Takeaways

• 🌏 The script discusses the growing contemplation about the purpose of life and the dissatisfaction with routine daily life and work.
• 🛌 It highlights the 'anti-work' crowd questioning the monotony of the daily grind and the 'Sigma grind set' which is focused on relentless hard work for future success.
• 🔥 The speaker contrasts the FIRE movement's goal of financial independence and early retirement with the daily routine of work and life maintenance.
• 🤔 The script suggests that both groups are searching for life's purpose but may be missing it due to a lack of understanding of what truly drives fulfillment.
• 📈 The correlation between a lack of life purpose and issues like pornography addiction and rising suicide rates is discussed, indicating a deeper societal problem.
• 📱 The role of technology in externalizing our attention and numbing our emotional circuitry is identified as a factor contributing to the loss of connection with our internal sense of purpose.
• 🚿 The shower is presented as a place of profound thought due to the lack of digital distraction, suggesting that solitude and disconnection from technology can foster internal reflection.
• 🧘 The speaker shares personal experiences from an ashram, suggesting that reducing external stimuli can help in reconnecting with one's internal voice and finding purpose.
• 💡 The concept of 'reaching the end of thought' is introduced as a technique to allow internal impulses and desires to surface by silencing the constant stream of external thoughts.
• 🚶‍♂️ The idea that self-discovery journeys, like long hikes or meditation retreats, work because they remove external stimuli allowing individuals to hear their inner voice is explained.
• 💪 The script concludes that aligning life with one's discovered purpose can make difficult tasks feel worthwhile and life more enjoyable, urging individuals to start this process as soon as possible.

Q & A

What is the central theme of the discussion in the transcript?

The central theme of the discussion is the search for the purpose of life, the impact of societal expectations and technology on our sense of purpose, and how individuals can find and align their lives with their personal purpose.

What is the 'anti-work crowd' mentioned in the transcript?

The 'anti-work crowd' refers to people who question the traditional 9-to-5 work lifestyle and whether it truly represents the purpose of life, suggesting that there might be more to living than just working and surviving.

What does the term 'Sigma grind set' represent in the context of the transcript?

The 'Sigma grind set' represents a group of individuals who believe in working hard, often with multiple side hustles, with the goal of achieving success and financial independence as quickly as possible.

What is the FIRE movement mentioned in the transcript?

The FIRE movement stands for Financial Independence, Retire Early. It is a lifestyle movement of people who aim to save and invest aggressively to reach financial independence and retire at a younger age than the traditional retirement age.

How does the speaker relate the rise in pornography addiction to the search for life's purpose?

The speaker suggests that the rise in pornography addiction is correlated with a sense of meaninglessness in life. As life becomes more meaningless, people may turn to pornography as a way to escape and seek temporary dopamine hits.

What is the alarming statistic mentioned about suicide among Asian Americans aged 18 to 24?

The alarming statistic is that suicide is the number one cause of death among Asian Americans between the ages of 18 and 24, which the speaker attributes to the crushing expectations and lack of a clear life purpose.

What is the speaker's view on the idea that a sense of purpose can be given to someone by others?

The speaker believes that a sense of purpose cannot be given to someone by others; it has to come from within the individual. Even though parents or society may try to impose a sense of purpose, it fundamentally doesn't work unless it arises internally.

How does the speaker describe the impact of technology on our attention and sense of purpose?

The speaker describes that technology has externalized our attention, causing us to focus more on external stimuli rather than our internal thoughts and feelings. This external focus can numb our emotional circuitry and make it difficult to connect with our sense of purpose.

What is the concept of 'reaching the end of thought' as discussed in the transcript?

Reaching the end of thought is a technique where an individual allows their external thoughts to run out, enduring the initial boredom until they reach a state of internal clarity. This state allows them to become hypersensitive to their internal drivers, goals, and values, which can help them discover their personal purpose.

What is the practical advice given for someone who wants to discover their life purpose?

The practical advice given is to engage in activities that reduce external stimulation, such as meditation, going on a hike, or simply sitting quietly and allowing thoughts to run their course. This can help an individual to hear their inner voice and discover their personal purpose.

What does the speaker suggest is the outcome of aligning one's life with their discovered purpose?

The speaker suggests that when one aligns their life with their discovered purpose, they can tolerate life's difficulties more easily, find motivation to do difficult things, and experience an overall easier and more enjoyable life.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 The Search for Life's Purpose Amidst Societal Expectations

The script explores the growing contemplation of life's purpose, particularly in the context of societal pressures and routines. It contrasts the 'anti-work' crowd questioning the daily grind with the 'Sigma grind set' who believe in relentless hard work for eventual success and early retirement. The speaker also introduces the 'FIRE' (Financial Independence, Retire Early) movement. The paragraph highlights the lack of a sense of purpose as a common issue, correlating it with rising rates of pornography addiction and suicide, especially among young Asian Americans. The speaker emphasizes the importance of finding an individual purpose rather than adhering to societal expectations.

05:01

🧠 The Internal Quest for Purpose in a Technologically Distracted World

This paragraph delves into the idea that a true sense of purpose must come from within and cannot be externally imposed, as evidenced by the struggles of Asian American youth despite clear parental expectations. The speaker discusses how technology has led to an externalization of attention, causing people to lose touch with their internal voice. The paragraph also touches on how modern technology numbs emotional responses and the profound thoughts that can arise in places devoid of such distractions, like during a shower, suggesting that finding purpose requires reconnecting with one's internal thoughts and feelings.

10:02

🍔 The Illusion of Happiness Through External Validation

The speaker uses the metaphor of trying to determine food preferences without the ability to taste to illustrate the futility of seeking happiness and purpose through external validation. They explain how technology and social media numb emotional circuitry, leading individuals to chase after what they see others enjoying, rather than discovering their own preferences. The paragraph highlights the ineffectiveness of this approach, as it does not lead to genuine fulfillment, and suggests that the path to purpose involves tuning into one's internal signals rather than external influences.

15:03

🔍 Uncovering the Purpose Through Disconnecting and Introspection

This section discusses the role of boredom as a signal for the mind to seek external stimulation and how constant external stimulation suppresses internal signals. The speaker suggests that to reconnect with one's internal voice, one must reduce external input and allow for introspection. They draw a parallel between physical journeys of self-discovery, such as hiking or meditation retreats, and the process of 'reaching the end of thought,' which involves enduring initial boredom to eventually access deeper, more meaningful internal impulses.

20:03

💡 Embracing Individual Purpose to Enhance Life's Experience

The final paragraph emphasizes that the purpose of life is individual and not a one-size-fits-all concept. It suggests that once a person discovers their personal purpose, aligning life with it can make daily challenges more tolerable and life more enjoyable. The speaker argues against the 'anti-work' and 'grind set' perspectives, proposing that finding and living according to one's purpose is the key to a fulfilling life. They also mention a coaching program designed to help individuals find their sense of purpose, which has shown significant increases in clients' life satisfaction.

Keywords

💡Purpose of Life

The 'purpose of life' is a central theme in the video, which explores the existential question of why humans exist and what their goals should be. It is defined by the speaker as an individualized concept, not a universal truth. The video suggests that people often look externally for life's purpose, such as through work or societal expectations, but the true purpose is found internally. The script uses the 'anti-work crowd' and 'sigma grind set' as examples of external pursuits that may not lead to a fulfilled life.

💡Anti-work

The term 'anti-work' refers to a movement or mindset that questions the necessity and value of traditional employment and the daily grind. In the video, it is used to describe people who reject the idea of waking up early, commuting, and working long hours without a clear sense of purpose. It is contrasted with the 'sigma grind set' as an alternative approach to life.

💡Sigma Grind Set

'Sigma Grind Set' is a term used to describe individuals who are highly driven and focused on achieving success through hard work and side hustles. The video mentions this group as those who believe in grinding to get ahead in life, often with the goal of early retirement. However, it also points out the potential emptiness of this approach if it lacks a genuine sense of purpose.

💡Financial Independence, Retire Early (FIRE)

FIRE stands for 'Financial Independence, Retire Early,' a movement that encourages saving and investing aggressively to achieve financial independence at a young age. In the script, it is presented as a strategy where people sacrifice current enjoyment for the sake of early retirement, aiming to escape the daily grind and enjoy life later.

💡Mental Health

Mental health is a concept that refers to the psychological well-being of an individual. The video touches on the importance of taking care of one's mental health alongside physical health. It suggests that without a clear purpose, people might neglect their mental well-being, leading to issues like addiction and suicide.

💡Addiction

Addiction, particularly to pornography as mentioned in the video, is a condition where a person engages in rewarding behaviors despite adverse consequences. The script links addiction to a lack of purpose, suggesting that when life feels meaningless, individuals may turn to addictive behaviors as a temporary escape.

💡Suicide

Suicide is the act of intentionally causing one's own death. The video cites it as a tragic consequence of a perceived purposeless life. It highlights the alarming rate of suicide among Asian Americans aged 18 to 24, suggesting that societal pressures and a lack of personal purpose can lead to such dire outcomes.

💡Externalized Attention

The term 'externalized attention' refers to the shift of focus from internal thoughts and feelings to external stimuli, such as technology and social media. The video argues that this shift has led to a disconnection from one's inner voice and a loss of personal purpose. It is used to explain why people struggle to find meaning in their lives.

💡Influencers

Influencers are individuals who have the power to affect the purchasing decisions of others because of their authority and sway over a particular audience. The video discusses how influencers on social media can perpetuate the idea that happiness and purpose can be found by emulating others' lifestyles, which may not be true or fulfilling for the individual.

💡Boredom

Boredom is an emotional state that arises from a lack of interest or stimulation. In the video, it is described as a signal from the brain seeking external stimulation. It is also suggested as a barrier to discovering one's purpose, as people often seek immediate relief from boredom rather than allowing themselves to be still and listen to their internal voice.

💡End of Thought

Reaching the 'end of thought' is a technique mentioned in the video for discovering one's internal desires and purpose. It involves allowing thoughts to arise and then naturally subside, leading to a state of heightened sensitivity to internal impulses and values. The video suggests that by enduring the initial boredom and resisting the urge to seek external stimulation, one can uncover their true purpose.

Highlights

Many people are questioning the purpose of life and rejecting traditional work-life structures.

The 'anti-work' crowd questions if life should be about repetitive routines and minimal personal fulfillment.

The 'sigma grind set' perspective emphasizes intense hustling and early retirement as a path to a fulfilling life.

Both the anti-work and sigma grind set groups struggle with a sense of purposelessness.

Pornography addiction and rising suicide rates correlate with a sense of meaninglessness in life.

Asian American youth face significant pressure and expectations, leading to high rates of suicide.

A sense of purpose must come from within and cannot be imposed externally.

Externalizing attention through technology numbs internal signals and hampers self-discovery.

Periods without external stimulation, like shower thoughts, can lead to profound personal insights.

Finding purpose involves reducing external stimulation and tuning into internal desires and goals.

Embarking on journeys of self-discovery, like hiking or meditation retreats, helps reconnect with one's inner self.

Reaching the 'end of thought' through sustained self-reflection can reveal one's true desires and purpose.

Once aligned with personal purpose, life's challenges become more manageable and fulfilling.

Purpose is not a universal concept but an individualized journey unique to each person.

Engaging in self-reflection and finding personal purpose can lead to a more meaningful and enjoyable life.

Transcripts

so it seems to me like more and more

people are starting to try to figure out

like what are we doing here like in on

this planet on this earth like what's

the purpose of life

I sort of see this manifest in kind of

the anti-work crowd where people are

like is this what life is supposed to be

I'm supposed to wake up every day at

seven a.m I commute for an hour work

until five commute home I exercise for

30 minutes cook for this amount of time

and then I have to get in bed so I'm not

burnt out the next day and it's just

like rinse and repeat until I die is

this really what life is about and on

the flip side we have like the sigma

grind set folks right these are the

people that are kind of like okay like

I'm gonna grind and like you gotta you

gotta grind to get ahead and you gotta

be an alpha and you gotta go Sigma grind

set you know that's really how you like

you make it in life is you have the side

hustle and you grow your side hustle

then you have your side side hustle and

you try to hustle as much as you can and

then if you hustle a lot then you can

become successful and you can get lots

of money and then like you can retire

early right there's the fire folks which

is financial Independence and retire

early so these are people who are kind

of thinking okay since Life starts with

retirement the goal of life is to like

step out of that grind as quickly as

possible make your millions that you can

enjoy life so instead of retiring at the

age of 60 what I'm going to do is try to

figure out how can I retire at the age

of 45 or 46 or 46 and a half and then I

can start living life so I'm going to

sacrifice the best years of my life so

that I can enjoy enjoy the latter years

of my life

and so I'm kind of listening to this

stuff and I'm trying to really figure

out what's the point of all of this is

life really about going to work every

day and kind of taking care of yourself

and working on your mental health and

working on your physical health and

learning how to cook and eating

nutritious food and then going keto and

going paleo and all this kind of stuff

until you die

or is it about grinding right is it like

side hustles and hustles and hustles and

hustling your way to an early retirement

so that you can really like start living

life to the fullest at the age of 52.

is this what's going on like what are we

what's happening here and these are two

different solutions either mentally

checking out of the capitalistic Society

because I reject this thing or

capitalizing on the capitalistic society

and leaning into that and I'm going to

try to maximize it and get ahead but

both these groups of people in my

opinion share one problem which is they

don't know what they're doing right

there's no like purpose there's no sense

of purpose in life people don't know

what we're on this Earth to do

and so they don't really know like how

to live this life and there's good

actual data to support this so if we

look at for example pornography

addiction pornography addiction is on

the rise and more and more people are

consuming pornography more people are

getting addicted to pornography and you

may say well what does that have to do

with life purpose well it turns out that

the variable that correlates the most

with being addicted to pornography is a

sense of meaninglessness so as our life

becomes meaningless we start to consume

more pornography because like we don't

really know what we're doing so I might

as well watch some porn and get some

dopamine and then I'll kind of like you

know it sort of passes the time

that's one example another example which

is really scary is actually suicide is

on the rise so we know that suicide is

correlated with a sense of

purposelessness in life right like what

am I doing with life there's really no

point in being here I'm suffering some

right now and there's no like end goal

that makes the suffering worth it

so why not just check out a life

so it's kind of scary but suicide is the

number one cause of uh death amongst

Asian Americans between the ages of 18

and 24 which is crazy right so if you're

like an Asian American kind of like I

was or I mean I still am but I'm not 18

to 24 anymore the the most dangerous

thing to you in life is actually you and

why is suicide the the number one cause

of of death for Asian Americans between

the age of 18 and 24. it's because this

is a group of people that is getting

crushed by expectation they don't really

know what's what they're doing in life

right so if you've grown up in the Asian

American diaspora you'll be kind of

familiar with this that you're

essentially crushed by expectations the

whole world usually your parents and

your you know friend group and stuff

like that they tell you hey this is what

life is about they're like look in order

to be successful you got to do this you

got to do this you got to do this you

got to do this they've got the formula

figure out you gotta major in stem you

got to work really hard you got to get

into a good college you gotta be at the

top of your class in college you gotta

go work get these really prestigious

companies or become a doctor or whatever

and then you will be happy

and despite the fact that these Asian

parents are pushing stuff on them so

much this pushing this formula for

success

what we actually see is that Asian

Americans are killing themselves at an

alarming rate

and so our society has lost sight of

what purposes like we don't really know

like what we're doing here and so since

we don't know what we're doing here we

have these like Sigma grind set kind of

people that are like I'm gonna do all my

grinding up front but is that really the

point of life no one knows what we're

doing here

and why is that

so the first thing that we have to

understand is that a sense of purpose

can't be given to you right it has to

come from within and if it could be

given to you then all the Asian American

kids would be doing great because their

parents are clearly giving them a sense

of purpose they're handing it to him on

the silver platter they're shoving it

down their throat they're saying this is

what you should do this is what you

should do this is what you should do

but that doesn't work fundamentally it

doesn't work right

and so then the question is okay like so

if it comes from within like what do we

mean by that right so if if a sense of

purpose comes to them like look within

yourself are we talking kind of like

Oprah book club like oh you gotta like

look within yourself and like you gotta

like like look so far within yourself

and see you find your purpose you know

is that kind of what we're talking about

well sort of but I think it's way more

scientific and way more like simple than

that it's not some weird deep spiritual

journey we'll talk a little bit about

that but it's like literally our sense

of purpose comes from within if our

sense of purpose comes from within then

why is it that more and more people are

losing sight of that well what's changed

in the last 20 years let's take a look

at it so what's changed in the last 20

years this is essentially an

acceleration of technology and what has

technology actually do so if we kind of

think about it what's happening in our

society right now the most fundamental

major change that has happened in our

society is that we have externalized our

attention

so I don't know if you're like me but

this is something that I absolutely used

to do so when I was in med school I

needed to optimize things right so I had

audio books I had like audio lectures

on my my my MP3 player right because

back then I had an MP3 player back in

the day 12 years ago and so what I would

do is I wake up in the morning and I'd

turn on some kind of audiobook or

something like that right like podcasts

or something and then I'd be like

cooking and listening to something then

I'd walk to the train and I'm listening

to something and then I get on the train

and I'm like reading something or maybe

I'm on my Kindle or something like that

then I'm at class and I'm paying

attention there and so every moment of

my day my

attention is externalized I'm listening

to a podcast I'm on social media I'm

playing a video game I'm watching

something even when I'm on the toilet

like the scariest thing in the world is

going to the toilet without your phone

right because like oh my God what are we

gonna do then

so if we really look at it fundamentally

what is the change in technology or what

changes technology rot in our brains and

on society it is externalized our

attention so a hundred years ago we used

to be like more attentional to our

internal stimuli and what's really

interesting is there are some places

where even technology has not figured

out how to break into so a great example

of this is shower thoughts right the

shower is the one place because if

things get wet then we can't take our

technology in there where we have these

really profound thoughts we think so

much in the shower and we start to make

all these like amazing realizations in

the shower

and why is that is the shower is there

something biochemical or physiological

about the Heat and the water or maybe

you take cold showers you know that that

sort of triggers all these profound

thoughts no it's actually like this is

the only time that we're able to be with

ourself this is the only time of the day

that we're actually able to pay

attention to ourselves

and so since we've lost touch with our

inner voice we don't really know what we

think we've struggled to find purpose

and how does that work so let me give

you all an example

so let's say I'm trying to figure out

what I want to eat

and I'm trying to figure out what kind

of food I like like what kind of food do

I want to eat in this world but imagine

for a moment that my tongue was

completely numb and I couldn't taste

anything where my nose was clogged

because 70 of taste actually comes from

your olfactory nerves but whatever all

that stuff is numb I got some covid got

some olfactory problems whatever right I

can't taste anything

and so then how do you imagine I'm going

to try to figure out what food I like so

what I end up doing if if my internal

senses are numb I'm going to look at

someone else I'm going to see someone

else I see oh wow they're eating a

hamburger that that looks great I'm

gonna eat that look at that litter

enjoying their hamburger they're taking

these big bites it's so juicy it looks

amazing and then I decide okay I'm gonna

eat a hamburger so I take the first bite

of hamburger I don't taste anything I

finished the hamburger I'm like you know

what that doesn't really work for me

so I'm going to look at someone else I

see oh wow that person's got some ice

cream look at that they're like licking

the ice cream it tastes it looks really

awesome it's so colorful it's got

sprinkles on top that looks totally lit

let me do that and then I try the ice

cream but I'm numb so I can't taste

anything and so what ends up happening I

go through life looking at what other

people makes other people happy and then

I try to duplicate it hoping that I

myself will become happy not happy I'll

enjoy the food right this is what

happens

and if we look at literally there's like

Neuroscience evidence of this that if

you look at what technology usage does

it doesn't matter if it's social media

video games whatever

it numbs our emotional circuitry it

literally shuts down our ability to like

be in touch with ourselves so we know

that playing a video game for even a

brief period of time will suppress our

amygdala and our limbic system the

emotional circuits of our brain we will

like literally suppress those internal

signals which is exactly why we use the

internet so when I'm feeling bad about

myself and I have too much work to do

and I'm feeling overwhelmed what am I

going to do to fix that I'm going to go

look at cat videos

is the second I open up a cat video I

suppress all of my internal signals and

this is precisely What's Going On We're

Going through life trying to figure out

what we want to do we're looking outside

of ourselves for possible answers we see

this person is enjoying a burger we see

that person is enjoying ice cream but

the whole time we are actively numbing

our tongue in our olfactory senses so

none of it seems to work and when none

of it seems to work this is how we end

up with people developing the sigma

grind set think about this for a second

okay people who are doing the signal

Sigma grind set and want to retire early

what are they actually saying they don't

even know what they're going to do after

they retire they don't even know that

they're going to enjoy retirement

but like think about that right because

you haven't retired you don't know what

it's like to be retired for five years

you think it's gonna be great because

you imagine all of these freedoms and

stuff but you don't actually know how

how that's going to work

I worked with a ton of people who've

actually retired and then what do they

do after two or three years they get

bored and they come out of retirement so

we end up going through life looking at

what appears to make other people happy

and then chasing after that

all the while numbing ourselves and this

is where we're particularly vulnerable

because if we look at things like social

media and influencers they play

completely into that right so how do you

become a successful influencer how do

you become successful on social media

you live the good life you demonstrate

to other people that I'm gonna be in

shape and look at me and I'm doing all

this stuff and like I'm ripped and like

I'm gonna like have lots of fun with my

friends and we're gonna go to the beach

and we're gonna do this and we're gonna

do this and like everyone's laughing and

everyone's like yeah like oh my God

they're living the high life and then

you're sitting at home you're watching

that you're like I want that too those

people are happy

social media completely amplifies this

this sort of idea that I can look at

other people and they are showing me the

recipe for happiness they're showing me

how to find purpose but it doesn't work

because we try to monkey see monkey do

we try to replicate what we see but it

doesn't seem to work for us why because

we're numb so the next question becomes

how do we un-numb ourselves and once

we're able to do that life will change

drastically right so if you can start to

taste again it can become really really

easy to figure out what you enjoy eating

all you need to do is be able to taste

so how do we actually go about doing

that so this is where we've got to talk

for a second about boredom okay so the

first thing to understand is like what

is the purpose of boredom so if we think

about it when we start to feel bored

what is our antidote to boredom our

antidote to boredom is usually some kind

of external stimulation so what does

boredom actually boredom is a

stimulation seeking emotional state

so our mind has figured out hey if we're

not getting the stimulation that we want

what I'm going to do is make this person

feel bored and once they start to feel

bored we are going to seek some kind of

external simulation which will then

relieve the boredom because as long as

we're getting stimulated from the

outside we won't feel bored furthermore

if we're getting simulated from the

outside what we're going to be doing is

suppressing all of our internal signals

so then the question kind of becomes

okay

how can I start

reconnecting with my internal signals

and this is where if you want to start

listening to your internal voice what

you actually need to do is Stop drowning

it out from the outside

so this is where we have to understand a

little bit about where thoughts come

from right so the thoughts in our mind

come from two places they can either

come from our sensory organs or

something like internally memory or

things like that so if you kind of think

about you know what are you excited

about today are you excited about seeing

a particular movie or playing a

particular game or eating a particular

food how did you have that excitement

where did that thought come from chances

are it came from a sensory organ and as

long as we are being bombarded by the

sensory organs it's going to be very

hard for our internal thoughts to

actually arise

this is further compounded by the fact

that oftentimes when our internal

thoughts arise they kind of like arise

in a negative way so the first thing

that comes out of our mind tends to be

kind of negative so if I'm sitting there

laying awake at night and like you know

trying to go to sleep

I'm not going to think happy thoughts at

the beginning right I'm going to start

to think a little bit about how much I

have to do I'm going to start to feel

overwhelmed so the other reason that we

want to numb ourselves is the first

layer of internal voice is usually

unpleasant it's negative emotions that

we've suppressed

and so what do we kind of do about this

and this is what's kind of interesting

is we kind of know societally that like

people will go and find their purpose

right and how do they do that well they

go like on these journeys of

self-discovery and they find themselves

so we know like this is not only a Trope

like people actually go and do this I

kind of did it right so I went to India

and I spent three months in an ashram

and we know that people will go on these

like year-long Wanderlust you know

sabbatical kind of things sometimes

people will take a gap year and what do

they do in their Gap year they like go

travel the world and they hike and they

go mountain climbing and all this kind

of stuff

and we know that once people do this

kind of thing they come back to life six

months later a year later their hair has

grown out they have a beard presumably

their dude sometimes women you know and

then they've got this like piercing look

in their eyes and they're like rugged

and they've like discovered themselves

and so let's understand that for a

second scientifically like wait a minute

so we know this kind of happens and even

within you there may be a yearning to go

find yourself

and then the question kind of begins

okay hold on a second what's the

mechanism to this what's the science

behind this why do you have to travel in

the Himalayas to go find yourself

because aren't you with you all the time

well the answer is actually no right so

in the world that we actually exist in

you're not with you in fact you have so

much digital stimulation that you're far

far far away from you which also

explains why you can go find yourself in

the Himalayas

so when you go hiking for six months

what happens to your indary as your

sense organs what happens to your

sensory input when you're hiking for

eight hours like you're not getting

constant sensory input right like you

just can't so sure you're seeing things

like maybe there's a beautiful mountain

somewhere or a lake or whatever but for

the most part you're kind of walking and

just being with yourself and so the

process of finding yourself involves

reducing external stimulation and as you

start to reduce external simulation

stuff starts to come up you get attuned

to your inner voice this is exactly what

happened to me in the ashram so I sit

there and I meditate for like eight

hours and like stuff starts to come up

stuff starts to come up stuff starts to

come up

and and this is also why people like

going on meditation Retreats because

when you go on a Meditation Retreat you

are with yourself and you were away from

the rest of the world you've unplugged

and when you unplug from the rest of the

world that's when you hear your inner

voice and so it's kind of interesting

because even this Trope sort of makes

sense right so what is the mechanism

through which going on a self-discovery

journey helps you find purpose because

there's got to be a scientific mechanism

right it's not just like a literary

Trope that is glorified in movies like

people actually go and do this

and the mechanism is that we get away

from this external stimuli so we can

hear our internal voice

and so if you're kind of sitting at home

and thinking to yourself well like what

am I supposed to do am I supposed to go

understand myself by going on a hiking

Journey if you want to go for it go for

it you can do like silent meditation

Retreats or whatever but we're going to

teach y'all just a very simple technique

today which is to reach the end of

thought

you may say like what does that mean

what is the end of thought so if you

close your eyes

what's going to happen is you'll have

thoughts right thoughts will arise

thoughts will arise thoughts will arise

and you'll notice a particular pattern

to the thoughts most of the thoughts

will be related to something external to

you they're not anything about what you

want they're about things that you're

going to need to do or they manifest as

desires which you may think is what you

want but that desire will also be born

of an external stimulus it's not

something that you care about you may

say I want to eat this or I want to play

this or whatever then what you're going

to notice is there's a period of intense

boredom where your mind is struggling

for stimulation and so you'll feel very

very very very intensely bored and

remember what is boredom boredom is an

attempt by your brain to get that hit of

dopamine this is why it makes boredom so

damn uncomfortable so if we think about

the sensations within ourselves that

prompt us to action that Force us into

action all of those Sensations are

uncomfortable hunger is uncomfortable

thirst is uncomfortable and so why does

our body make us feel uncomfortable to

bludgeon us into acting what's the

biggest Club it's got It's actually

boredom

so the second phase that you're going to

experience is intense intense boredom

but then something magical will happen

if you can make it through that phase if

you cannot give into the boredom and

once you know what the boredom is trying

to do you can start to have some power

over it

you will find that the thoughts are

going to be very rapid at the beginning

and then they'll start to slow down slow

down slow down slow down and if you're

lucky you will reach the end of thought

so how long does it take to reach the

end of thought it kind of depends

but once you reach the end of thought

because remember thoughts can come from

the outside then all you will be left

with

are the internal impulses what you will

have done is stopped numbing yourself

and actually will be

hypersensitive to internal drivers

internal goals internal values and the

cool thing is once you get centered in

those then you can start crafting a life

around them right once I know from

within me what I am looking for from

Life once I stop listening to

influencers or my Asian American parents

or looking at other people like my

friends or older siblings or whatever

and what they've done with their life

and instead of trying to duplicate that

I'm listening to myself then I can start

to align a life out of my values

and something really magical happens

there which is that once you discover

what you want from life it's not about

what is the purpose of life this is also

a misnomer there is not a purpose or

what is the purpose of life this is kind

of wild but it's my belief that the

purpose of life is not in life it's in

you it's individualized and this is like

the the big scam is that we're like

what's the purpose of life like let's go

ask someone really wise right because if

we ask someone really wise they'll be

able to give us the answer

but the whole point is that you're an

individual that you are living your life

and so if you want to make the most of

it you have to understand what you want

out of it

and so in order to do that reach the end

of thought

right you may say well practically how

do I do that do I sit there for a while

you can sit there for a while you can go

on a long hike if you want to you don't

have to reach the end of thought all at

once so you can sit there and go on a

10-day silent Meditation Retreat if you

want to you can go on a hiking trip

those are fantastic or you can just sit

down with yourself you know for a half

an hour hour whatever do I have to stay

in Lotus posture no you don't have to

stay in Lotus posture go for a walk and

just let the thoughts run out they will

run out of steam they'll be boredom and

then after that you'll discover what you

want

and once you discover your purpose then

you can start to align your life around

it and once you start aligning your life

out of purpose a couple of things happen

the first thing that happens is that you

are able to tolerate the difficulties of

life

so

why is it that it's hard to do hard

things it's because it's not worth it

right anytime there's a challenge if you

really listen to people what's the

resistance I don't know if it's worth it

or not but once you're aligned with your

purpose it will actually become worth it

right because now you know why you're

doing it now you can afford to wake up

at 6am every day because you actually

care about what you're studying this is

caring for life makes it so much easier

to live and so much more enjoyable so in

order to really figure out how to make

life easy I don't think you should adopt

the anti-work view of is this all life

is I think it's a good question

and I don't think you should adopt the

sigma grind set view which is just hey

let me work and work and work and work

and work so that I can be successful

later and then I can have this gravy

train like this pot of gold at the end

of the rainbow I don't think it works

I've worked with those people they reach

the end of the rainbow they enjoy

themselves for a couple years and they

they come into my office and they're

like I don't know what I'm doing with

life and then we go on this journey the

thing is you don't have to wait until

you don't have to sacrifice the best

years of your life to discover that

purpose is not Financial Security that

purpose is so much more you can actually

start that today in fact you need to

start it today

and if you can discover what your

purpose is through this technique if you

can understand this then so many things

will become easy I know it's not

practical for people to go to an ashram

in India or go hiking in the mountains

for 10 days which is exactly why we

built a coaching program our program is

actually designed to help people find a

sense of purpose and what we tend to see

is about a 58 increase in a client's

sense of purpose in life at about 12

weeks and what we've really found in our

Central hypothesis is that once you find

a reason to get out of bed in the

morning once you find a reason to get

off of the internet once you find a

reason to actually be motivated to do

things that are difficult for you that's

what actually makes it easy for you to

accomplish your goals