Why You Need To Get Better At Doing Nothing

HealthyGamerGG
23 Dec 202320:20

Summary

TLDRThis insightful script delves into the importance of 'doing nothing' correctly amidst life's challenges. It challenges the common belief that constant action is the key to success, instead advocating for cognitive reframing as a superior coping mechanism. The speaker explores different types of 'nothing,' from emotion-focused coping that often leads to more problems, to problem-solving that can be futile yet mentally beneficial. Ultimately, the script encourages embracing cognitive reframing to change thought patterns, fostering resilience and a healthier mindset, even when faced with insurmountable obstacles.

Takeaways

  • 🧘 Doing nothing in the right way can be a powerful coping mechanism, contrary to common belief that action is always necessary.
  • 🌪 In the face of overwhelming problems, our typical reactions often exacerbate the situation rather than resolve it, such as procrastination or substance use.
  • 🔄 The concept of 'doing nothing' needs reevaluation; scientific evidence suggests certain forms of inaction can lead to positive life outcomes.
  • 🤯 The world is currently facing numerous crises, which can lead to feelings of helplessness and counterproductive behaviors.
  • 💡 The idea of 'coping mechanisms' is crucial; they are strategies we use to deal with stress or problems, and not all are equally effective.
  • 🚫 Emotion-focused coping, which involves managing feelings rather than addressing the problem, tends to lead to poor long-term outcomes.
  • 🛠 Problem-solving as a coping strategy is generally more effective, but it's not always possible or feasible, especially with unsolvable problems.
  • 💪 Even when problems seem unsolvable, the act of trying can be beneficial for mental health and may lead to unexpected positive results.
  • 🤔 Cognitive reframing, a top-tier coping mechanism, involves changing one's perspective on a situation, which can lead to better mental outcomes.
  • 📝 A technique for cognitive reframing includes writing down initial thoughts, considering alternative perspectives, and choosing a reframed thought that feels acceptable.
  • 🌟 The power of cognitive reframing lies in its ability to change the natural thought patterns that we develop over time, leading to a more positive mindset.

Q & A

  • What is the main argument presented in the video script about the importance of 'doing nothing'?

    -The main argument is that 'doing nothing' in the right way, specifically cognitive reframing, can be a powerful coping mechanism that leads to positive outcomes in life, as opposed to emotion-focused coping or problem-solving which may not always be effective or feasible.

  • Why does the speaker suggest that the world is going to 'hell' and how does this relate to the topic of coping mechanisms?

    -The speaker uses the metaphor of the world going to 'hell' to illustrate the various problems and stresses people face, such as climate change and societal issues. This sets the stage for discussing how different coping mechanisms can either exacerbate or ameliorate these problems.

  • What is the concept of 'emotion-focused coping' as described in the script?

    -Emotion-focused coping is a strategy where individuals focus on managing their internal emotional state in response to a problem, rather than addressing the problem itself. This approach is said to lead to poor long-term outcomes because it doesn't solve the underlying issues.

  • How does the speaker differentiate between healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms?

    -Healthy coping mechanisms, according to the script, are activities like meditating, exercising, and spending time in nature. Unhealthy coping mechanisms might include watching porn, getting drunk, or other activities that provide temporary relief but can create additional problems.

  • What is the problem with trying to solve unsolvable problems according to the speaker?

    -The problem with trying to solve unsolvable problems is that it can lead to a sense of futility and burnout. However, the speaker argues that the act of trying, even when the problem is unsolvable, can have positive psychological effects and prevent giving up.

  • Can you explain the term 'copium' as used in the script?

    -'Copium' in the script refers to the common advice or strategies people use to cope with problems or difficult situations. It's a play on the word 'coping' and is used to highlight the speaker's point about the effectiveness of different coping strategies.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 The Paradox of Productive Inaction

The video introduces the counterintuitive concept that doing nothing can be beneficial, especially in a world filled with overwhelming problems like climate change and societal issues. It challenges the notion that constant action is always the solution, suggesting that the wrong kinds of 'nothing' can exacerbate issues. The speaker proposes that re-evaluating our approach to coping mechanisms can lead to positive life outcomes, hinting at the importance of the right kind of inaction and less emphasis on emotion-focused coping.

05:02

🚫 The Pitfalls of Emotion-Focused Coping

This paragraph delves into emotion-focused coping, where individuals manage their internal emotional states rather than addressing the external problems. It is identified as an ineffective long-term strategy that can lead to more significant issues, such as avoiding studying for a test by engaging in distractions like video games or alcohol. The speaker argues that even when problems seem insurmountable, the act of attempting to solve them has intrinsic psychological benefits, contrasting this with the detrimental effects of giving up.

10:03

💡 The Power of Cognitive Reframing

The speaker introduces cognitive reframing as a superior coping mechanism, which involves changing one's perspective on situations to influence outcomes positively. Using examples from various life scenarios, such as breakups, the paragraph explains how altering one's thought patterns can lead to healthier responses and improved resilience. The speaker emphasizes that even futile efforts can have profound psychological effects, fostering a mindset that is less likely to give up in the face of adversity.

15:04

📝 The Technique of Cognitive Reframing

The paragraph outlines a specific technique for cognitive reframing, encouraging viewers to write down their initial negative thoughts and then consider how a more resilient person might think about the same situation. It advises recognizing the conflict between the two perspectives and selecting a reframed thought that is most acceptable. The speaker explains that by repeatedly practicing this technique, one can rewire their neural pathways to respond more positively to setbacks, fostering a mindset that differentiates between those who give up and those who persevere.

20:11

🧘 The Ultimate Form of 'Doing Nothing'

In the final paragraph, the speaker concludes that the most effective form of 'doing nothing' is actually cognitive reframing, which, while看似 inactive, actively changes one's thought patterns to foster a more positive and resilient mindset. It contrasts this with other forms of coping that are less effective, such as emotion-focused coping or even problem-solving in the face of unsolvable problems. The speaker encourages viewers to embrace this form of 'doing nothing' to improve their mental well-being and life outcomes.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Doing Nothing

The concept of 'Doing Nothing' in the video is paradoxically about the importance of being inactive in a purposeful way. It's not about inaction, but rather about avoiding the wrong kinds of activities that create more problems. The video suggests that in a chaotic world, the traditional approach to problem-solving might not always be effective and sometimes, doing less in a mindful way can lead to better outcomes. For instance, when faced with an unsolvable problem, the speaker encourages not giving up but instead trying to change one's perspective, which is a form of 'doing nothing' in terms of external action but doing something internally.

💡Coping Mechanisms

Coping mechanisms are strategies that individuals use to manage stress or problems. The video discusses different types of coping mechanisms, emphasizing the importance of choosing healthy over unhealthy ones. Unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as watching TV or playing video games to avoid studying, are criticized for creating additional problems. On the other hand, the video promotes cognitive reframing as a superior coping mechanism that involves changing one's thought patterns to deal with problems more effectively.

💡Emotion-Focused Coping

Emotion-focused coping is a strategy where individuals manage their internal emotional state instead of addressing the external problem. The video argues that this approach tends to lead to poor long-term outcomes because it doesn't solve the underlying issues. An example from the script is turning to video games, pornography, or alcohol to manage fear and anxiety about an upcoming test, which ultimately doesn't help with studying and can lead to further problems like a hangover the next day.

💡Problem-Solving

Problem-solving is presented as a more effective coping mechanism than emotion-focused coping because it involves directly addressing and attempting to resolve the issue at hand. However, the video also points out the limitations of problem-solving, noting that not all problems can be solved, and the act of trying to solve unsolvable problems can be beneficial in itself for maintaining a proactive mindset.

💡Cognitive Reframing

Cognitive reframing is a top-tier coping mechanism that involves changing one's perspective on a situation. The video explains that this technique can lead to the best outcomes in life by altering the way one thinks about problems. It is highlighted as a powerful tool for mental health and personal growth. An example given is reframing a breakup from a negative experience to an opportunity for learning and self-improvement.

💡Burnout

Burnout is a state of chronic stress that leads to emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion. In the context of the video, burnout is mentioned as a common result of trying to solve too many problems using unhealthy coping mechanisms. The speaker suggests that doing less in the right way, such as cognitive reframing, can help prevent burnout by reducing the mental strain of constantly trying to manage or solve problems.

💡Unsolvable Problems

The video discusses the reality of facing problems that cannot be solved, such as climate change or personal relationship issues. It emphasizes the importance of maintaining a proactive approach even when the problem seems insurmountable. The act of trying to solve these problems, even if they are unsolvable, is posited as a way to improve mental well-being and avoid the despair of giving up.

💡Mental Aspect of Problem Solving

The mental aspect of problem solving refers to the psychological benefits of attempting to address a problem, regardless of the outcome. The video explains that even futile efforts can change a person's psychology for the better, as they provide a sense of agency and control over one's life circumstances.

💡Setbacks vs. Giving Up

The video contrasts 'setbacks' with 'giving up' to illustrate the difference in mindset between successful individuals and those who struggle. Setbacks are seen as temporary obstacles that can be overcome, while giving up is the end of any progress. Cognitive reframing is presented as a way to transform setbacks into opportunities for growth rather than reasons to quit.

💡Dgen Technique

The 'dgen technique' is a specific method introduced in the video for cognitive reframing. It involves writing down initial negative thoughts, then considering how a more resilient person would think about the same situation, and finally identifying a single reframed thought that is most acceptable. This technique is used to challenge and change negative thought patterns in response to adversity.

Highlights

The importance of doing 'nothing' in the right way to improve life outcomes.

Different types of 'nothing' and the scientific perspective on their effects.

The paradox of doing less to achieve more in life.

Coping mechanisms and their role in problem-solving and emotional management.

The prevalence of emotion-focused coping and its negative long-term outcomes.

The ineffectiveness of emotion-focused coping in solving underlying problems.

The concept of 'lit in action' as a positive form of doing 'nothing'.

The contrast between healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms.

The limitations of problem-solving as a coping mechanism in the face of unsolvable problems.

The psychological benefits of attempting to solve unsolvable problems.

The story of a patient with terminal cancer and the lessons in coping.

The power of cognitive reframing as a top-tier coping mechanism.

The process of cognitive reframing to change the way one thinks about situations.

The impact of cognitive reframing on long-term mental health and resilience.

The practical steps to engage in cognitive reframing for personal growth.

The distinction between giving up and experiencing setbacks in life.

The transformative potential of doing 'nothing' through cognitive reframing.

The final encouragement to embrace the power of 'doing nothing' in the right way.

Transcripts

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today we're going to talk about why

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doing nothing is the most important

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thing you can

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do now this may sound kind of bizarre

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because you're sitting there thinking

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well I do a lot of nothing and in fact

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my problem is that I do way too much

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nothing and instead I need to be doing

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something but it turns out that

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scientifically there are different kinds

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of nothing and we tend to do the wrong

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kinds of nothing and there are actually

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certain kinds of lit in action that lead

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to positive outcomes in our life now

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this may sound weird but just hear me

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out so right now we live in a world that

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is going to hell there's climate change

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problems inflation problems dating and

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gender Dynamics are a mess like people

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under the age of 30 are mostly living

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with their parents there's like Wars and

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stuff going on the world is an absolute

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mess so as human beings when we are

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faced with absolute messes we do

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particular things and it turns out that

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the things that we do when we are faced

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with problems actually create more

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problems than they solve as a simple

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example let's say I have a final that's

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coming up at the end of the week and I'm

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terrified that I'm not going to do well

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so what do I end up doing in order to

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deal with this problem I end up spending

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a lot of time playing video games or

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binge watching shows or maybe even

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getting drunk or something like that so

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it is the way that I try to solve my

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problems that actually creates

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additional problems it would be one

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thing if I just didn't do anything all

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day long but even the things that I

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choose to engage in like let's say I do

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get drunk or go to a party or something

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like that mean that I'm hung over the

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next day which means that studying for

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the test is actually harder the most

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common experience that I hear from

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people today is despite the fact that

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they're swimming really hard everyone is

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still drowning despite the fact that you

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are trying to stay afloat the harder you

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seem to work the worse things become and

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then what ends up happening is people

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feel incredibly burnt out so today what

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we're going to do is figure out how to

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completely re-evaluate that cycle and

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paradoxically do less but in the right

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way so this sort of idea actually comes

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from some really interesting research

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around coping mechanisms so coping

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mechanisms are things that we do when

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something is not going right so when I

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have a problem the way that I manage

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that problem is the way that I cope and

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recently what I've heard especially in

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the field of like Psychiatry and therapy

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and even just the internet is everyone's

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like level up your coping mechanisms

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bruh like I need to be able to cope like

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I need my copium like oh my God like

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everyone needs to be meditating and

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exercising and spending time in nature

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and like these are the healthy coping

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mechanisms instead what we need to do is

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get rid of the unhealthy coping

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mechanisms I need to be meditating

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instead of watching porn and jerking off

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well it ain't that easy right and so

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today what we're actually going to teach

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you is a little bit better of a way to

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deal with your problems with actually

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doing less because that's actually the

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most powerful coping mechanism I know it

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sounds crazy but hear me out let's start

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with the worst form of coping which is

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called emotion focused coping so motion

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focused coping is when something goes

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wrong out there it creates an internal

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change in here so if I am you know for

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example if I have that test and I feel

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afraid what I'm going to sort of focus

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on is not fixing the problem out there

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but managing my internal emotional state

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this is called emotion focused coping

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and what we sort of know from studies in

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Psychology Psychiatry coping mechanisms

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especially things like trauma is that

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the worst kind of coping mechanisms are

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actually emotion focused coping emotion

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focused coping mechanisms actually lead

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to poor outcomes over the long term so

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what that means more practically is if I

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solve my problems or if the way I deal

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with my problems because I'm not really

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solving them or to actually change my

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internal emotional state that actually

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doesn't fix any problems and is going to

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lead to worse problems later on let's

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just think about this right so let's say

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I have a test I'm studying for or

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supposed to be studying for and instead

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I feel incredibly anxious and fearful

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that I'm not going to do well on the

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test I really need an a I really need an

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A and what do I do with all that fear

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and anxiety I turn to something like

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video games or pornography or alcohol or

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marijuana or whatever something to

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manage my internal emotional state there

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are also other examples of this so let's

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say you're in a relationship with

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someone who is very very dependent on

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your emotional support or maybe you're

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the one who needs emotional support and

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then anytime you feel negative emotions

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in here your goal is to make those

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negative emotions go away now this is a

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huge problem nowadays especially with

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things like trigger warnings now I'm not

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completely against trigger War warnings

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there's some evidence that they're a

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little bit harmful but let's just

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understand this okay so what goes on

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with a trigger warning what goes on with

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a trigger warning is you say something

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that makes me feel a particular way

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we're not saying talk talk about hate

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speech or anything but you say something

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oh my God you were talking about

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exercising and that triggers my trauma

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about when I last went to the gym so in

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this situation what is this person doing

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they're saying that you should stop

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doing what you're doing to try to

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control my internal emotional state the

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worst problem here is that we are

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surrendering the power of our internal

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emotional state to other people but at

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the end of the day all of these are

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emotion focused coping and the purpose

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of emotion focused coping is to fix

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the emotions that are caused by problems

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so what happens when we use emotion

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focused coping at the best nothing

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changes right because I'm managing my

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emotions but I'm not solving the

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problems that actually create them and

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at the worst when I engage in Emotion

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focused coping it actually impairs me

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when I try to solve my problems I'm more

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hung over now it's been a week since

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I've studied and I forgot something so

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even though I've sort of delayed by

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seven days I'm actually forgetting

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something each one of those days and so

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what we sort of know of the science of

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emotion focused coping is that people

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who rely on it tend to do poorly so if

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we don't want to do emotion focused

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coping what's the other option so now we

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move to standard copium in standard

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copium the most common example of this

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is something like problem solving so as

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we already said you know I have a couple

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ways of dealing with my problems one is

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that I can try to manage my emotions and

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not actually deal with the problem and

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the second is I can actually deal with

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the problem and the cool thing is when

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we focus on problem solving is a coping

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mechanism the data shows that we tend to

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do better right no surprise that people

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who fix their problems tend to do better

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in life so here I am telling you oh just

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go problem solve and just fix your

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problems and this is where we run into a

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really important problem with problem

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solving which is if you are listening to

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this video right now you've already

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figured it out which is that you can't

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solve all your problems right because

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hey the world is going to hell

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everything is screwed up climate change

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and inflation all the other crap that I

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said I haven't been able to go on a date

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in 2 years I've never had a girlfriend

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all the men I I date are toxic and all

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these kinds of problems exist out there

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and these are unsolvable problems and so

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then what do we do we decide to give up

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so this is the other problem with

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problem solving is if the Mind cannot

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clearly see a path to problem solve we

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will go ahead and give up and that is

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exactly the wrong thing to do because as

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it turns out trying to solve unsolvable

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problems is one of the most useful

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things you can do this may sound insane

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but hear me out so I'm going to tell you

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all the story so when I was an intern I

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had a patient who had stage four

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metastatic liver cancer so this means

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that they had cancer of the liver and it

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had spread all throughout their body so

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this person was going to die and his

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family would come in every day and they

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would be freaking out we'd sort of

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explain to this person and his family

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what the diagnosis is you've got maybe

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about a month to live right that's like

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it's like one of these bad scenarios and

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the family was like they since he's got

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liver cancer so the liver is like up

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here and then it presses on the stomach

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it's it metastasizes so it's all in his

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abdomen and it's his intestines and

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stomach and stuff like that so what is

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he doing he's not eating and then the

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family gets really really bent out of

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shape about this they're like oh my god

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he has to keep his strength up he's not

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eating anything you got to get him to

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eat like we're trying to get him to eat

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he needs to eat he needs to eat needs to

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keep his strength up and I'm sitting

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there in the back and I'm kind of

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thinking like bro what are y'all talking

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about like he doesn't strength ain't

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going to make a difference the guy is

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like terminally ill with cancer like

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this isn't going to work and so this was

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back when I was an intern right so this

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was before I became a psychiatrist and I

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realiz I didn't realize at the time that

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we're missing out on something really

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really important which is that when we

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try to problem solve there are two

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mechanisms actually at play one is we

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are trying to solve the problem and if

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we can fix our external circumstances

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then we will sort of get better right

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right our lives will get better

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objectively because we fix something but

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there's a second aspect to problem

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solving which is incredibly important

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and has nothing to do with with whether

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the problem gets solved or not and that

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is the mental aspect of problem solving

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so in the case of this family what they

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were doing is doing anything they could

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and the cool thing about that is that

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anything that they can do even if it's

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completely irrelevant in the long run

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changes their psychology so if we look

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at in the face of unsolvable problems

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there are two options one is we can try

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to do something futile and then at least

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we're giving it you know we're trying

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something we're giving it some effort

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that we've got or what we can do is give

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up and now this is the beautiful thing

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when it comes to long-term outcomes and

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people who use coping mechanisms and

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stuff like that there's one big

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difference that people who try do way

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better than people who give up and so

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the other really bizarre thing is that

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frequently when we give up we also have

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a cognitive bias at Play and our mind

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tells us there is no point in trying

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because we are doomed to failure but

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that isn't objectively correct

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especially if you look at something like

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dating or whatever there there's so many

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people that I've talked to who have said

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yeah this is objectively hopeless

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everything is a mess look at all this

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evidence that I have from the internet

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and people talking on the internet and

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people posting things on shorts and

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Twitter or X or whatever it is nowadays

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and look at all of this evidence and I

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have my own experience of trying to go

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on dates three or four times and

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everyone says right cuz let's remember

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that the internet is scientific research

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those two are absolutely

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interchangeable when we're sort of faced

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in that situation we tend to give up and

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so I know it sounds crazy but even in

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the face of unsolvable problems I

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strongly encourage you to give it a shot

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and don't worry about your mind telling

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you this will never work that's not what

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we're actually shooting for when we're

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trying to solve an unsolvable problem

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the goal is not to actually solve the

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problem but there's a decent chance

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you'll make an impact of some kind the

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goal is mentally to not give up the goal

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is to mentally understand that if you

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can put forth some effort even if it's

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futile it changes the equation of mental

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burnout in your mind so this is kind of

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what copium is all about we absolutely

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want to try to solve our problems but

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even in the face of unsolvable problems

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you should still give it a shot because

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human beings at the end of the day when

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they do something they feel like they're

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doing something right so people will

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kind of say oh you know I prayed to

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whoever right I prayed to God and

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because I prayed to God this person's

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life was saved and I'm not trying to

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dock on prayer or say God exists or

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doesn't exist or anything like that I'm

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just pointing out that the psychology of

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doing something makes people feel like a

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little bit more responsible and take a

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little bit more credit if things are

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moving in the right direction so we

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absolutely want to give things a shot

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and then we move to the top tier of

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coping mechanisms which is what I would

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dub hopium which is the super cool

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because the top tier of coping

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mechanisms that leads to the best

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outcomes in life actually involves doing

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absolutely nothing and this tier of

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coping mechanism is called cognitive

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reframing cognitive reframing is

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literally changing the way that you

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think about things and I know it sounds

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insane but I've worked with a lot of

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people who are like degenerate Gamers

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and a lot of people who are super

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successful like CEOs and like streamers

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and stuff like that and what I've the

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really bizarre thing is that I don't

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think that there's a big difference

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between these two groups of people hell

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in my life the big difference like I was

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the same person I was like 15 years ago

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as to now what really changed my IQ

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didn't change it's not like my

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conscientiousness magically increased

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what changed was the way that I think

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about things which is technically doing

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nothing and so cognitive reframing is

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one of the most important tools that you

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can actually harness so let's understand

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this a little bit B better okay so you

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can take two different people who

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encounter the same scenario let's say

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they go through a breakup and literally

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we've done scientific studies on the way

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that people respond to breakups and what

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we found is that the way that they think

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determines their outcomes over time so

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if I break if I break up with someone I

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can think to myself oh my God I'm

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unlovable and I will be alone for the

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rest of my life and this person is going

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to do so much better without me and

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there's no hope for me right so we went

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through a breakup they dumped me didn't

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dump me whatever you can pick whatever

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scenario you want on the flip side we

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have people who are good at cognitive

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reframing and these people literally

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take their initial thoughts and try to

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move them in a different direction and

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you can even acknowledge the negativity

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wow I got dumped that means that you

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know I'm really not in a good place

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right now I really have a lot of work to

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do if I want to become a healthy person

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who can engage in a healthy relationship

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even even though this relationship fell

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apart at the least I learned a lot from

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it and I will be better prepared to

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engage in future relationships so this

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is literally what cognitive reframing is

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and this is what we do in Psychotherapy

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is that we take people's default

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thoughts and what we actually try to

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help them do is reframe to more helpful

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thoughts and so it's not enough that I

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just tell y'all hey just start thinking

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differently bruh so there's a a

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particular process that I'm going to

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walk youall through like a you know a

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quick rundown of how to cognitively

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reframe hey just a quick note a lot of

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people will ask us what do I do next and

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that's why we built Dr K's guide It's a

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comprehensive resource that distills

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over 20 years of my experience both as a

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monk and as a psychiatrist and it's

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designed in a way that's tailored to fit

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your needs so if you're interested in

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better understanding your mind and

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taking control of your life check out

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the link below so the first thing to do

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if you want to C cognitively reframe is

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you want to write down whatever your

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initial thoughts are so you're going to

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have all of these kinds of like negative

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thoughts that kind of come out and just

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write them down right and then ask

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yourself this kind of a dgen technique

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okay ask yourself if you were a

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different human being if you were a more

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resilient human being if you were a

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better human being if you were one of

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like one of those people who's like good

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at life right instead of you what would

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they think about the situation you know

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those dumb asses that are trying to

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encourage you and get you back up and

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stuff like that they're like oh man like

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think about the big picture like what

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would they say and what you're going to

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find is that there is an instinctive

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revulsion to that second column what

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you're going to find is as you write

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things down your mind will naturally

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react by countering those kinds of

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things but here's the crazy thing just

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because your mind has a reaction doesn't

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mean that it's true and so then what you

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want to do is notice that third reaction

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right which is the conflict between

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column 1 and column two just how do you

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feel when you're trying to write down

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the second column and write those things

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down this is absurd this doesn't work

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for me this works for other people but

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is not going to apply in my case you're

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going to recognize all these kinds of

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thoughts and just jot them down then

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take a deep breath and just ask yourself

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out of the second column which is the

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hopeful column right which is the

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cognitive reframe column which of these

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things because you can't accept all of

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them but is there a single one that you

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can somewhat sort of accept right so you

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take these five things in which one is

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the least offensive is the least

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Incorrect and just circle that one and

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just spend a little bit of time thinking

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about it and then ask yourself okay why

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can I accept this one after you pick

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your one just ask yourself okay what is

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it about this one that makes it okay

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well at the end of the day like I know

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technically any breakup that I go

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through I will have learned something

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I'll have gotten better at breaking up

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I'm managing my emotions it's like

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pushing me to do a little bit better and

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this way and this way and this way and

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so Something Beautiful happens the

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second you start doing doing that is

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that you have actually cognitively

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reframed you've literally rewired your

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neurons a little bit because what we

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know about thinking is that thinking

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happens in patterns so anytime you see a

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particular thing your mind will evoke

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the same thoughts right so like in my

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case you know like I was just thinking

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about one of my kids and one of my kids

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doesn't like Mayo so the first question

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she asks anytime she sees a sandwich is

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is there Mayo on it every time there's a

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sandwich it triggers some kind of

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response and in my case it's like

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whenever I eat something sweet I'm like

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wow I like this it's not too sweet so

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you may have noticed that you say the

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same damn [ __ ] over and over and over

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again or people that you know say the

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same damn [ __ ] over and over and over

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again and that's because our neurons

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have been well-wired in that way so if

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we want to start thinking differently

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literally what we have to do is push

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this up this Boulder uphill of positive

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thoughts and it will feel very very

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cumbersome when we first do it the

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beautiful thing is that if you engage in

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this cognitively reframing technique

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over and over and over again your mind

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mind will literally start to change the

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natural responses that you have when you

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get a setback will be a little bit

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different you'll be able to look on the

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brighter side of things and once you're

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able to look on the brighter side of

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things that's the first Domino because

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now you're not in despair now you're not

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burnt out now you're not giving up at

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the first setback and even if we sort of

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think about these terms what is the

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difference between giving up in a

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setback it's just whether you keep going

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or not right a setback which is your

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last setback is when you give up but if

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you don't give up after a setback it

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automatically becomes a setback and so

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then the question you need to ask

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yourself is what do you want your life

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to be do you want to be a person who

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gives up or has setbacks and that's the

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big difference between a dgen gamer and

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a CEO one of them gives up and one of

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them has

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setbacks so I know it sounds kind of

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crazy but it turns out that a lot of

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what we do when we are faced with

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problems actually creates more problems

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this is why doing nothing is actually

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everything but there are different kinds

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of nothing and the most important

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nothing that you can do is the nothing

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up here the interesting thing is if you

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really pay attention most of y'all when

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you say I do nothing you're not actually

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doing nothing you're doing something

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right I have a test at the end of the

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week are you literally doing nothing no

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you start doing crap you start doing

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dumb crap right you start watching TV or

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you're on YouTube right now

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procrastinating from doing the work that

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you're doing by watching this [ __ ]

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video this is not doing nothing you are

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doing something you are watching me

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right now and that's the crazy thing is

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that what we sort of found is that

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people who focus on doing something that

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makes them feel better mopi or emotion

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Focus coping or even problem solving are

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not as Chad or Stacy as people who

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actually do a little bit less or do way

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less but do that Less in a very

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particular way which is cognitively

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reframing and not giving up this is

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normally the part of the video where I

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would say now go out and do something

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but actually maybe you should do

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[Music]

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nothing

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Related Tags
Coping MechanismsEmotion FocusProblem SolvingMental HealthStress ReliefCognitive ReframingPsychology InsightsLife ChallengesSelf ImprovementWellness Strategies