The art of being yourself | Caroline McHugh | TEDxMiltonKeynesWomen

Summary

Caroline McHugh discusses the concept of individuality and the importance of being true to oneself. She explains how True Mirrors show a person's true reflection, unlike regular mirrors. McHugh emphasizes that true self-awareness and authenticity are key to personal fulfillment and success. Using examples from various fields, she highlights the importance of self-acceptance and self-expression, encouraging listeners to embrace their unique gifts and be unapologetically themselves. The talk underscores that being oneself is not only liberating but essential for living a meaningful and impactful life.

Takeaways

• 🪞 The True Mirror reveals how others see you by using two mirrors at right angles, showing an un-reversed, true image.
• 🧍‍♀️ Looking in a True Mirror can be disorienting and reveals asymmetries in our features that regular mirrors hide.
• 💡 The experience of seeing oneself in a True Mirror encourages looking for self-revelation rather than reassurance.
• 🌍 Social reformation begins with the individual discovering and embracing their unique gift.
• 🌟 Successful individuals often share the trait of being authentically themselves, not trying to emulate others.
• 🎭 Our identity is shaped by various 'selves' – how others see us, how we wish to be seen, and how we see ourselves.
• 🧘‍♂️ Interiority, or understanding one's inner self without comparison to others, is crucial for true confidence.
• 💪 Authenticity can be most visible in young children and the elderly, who are less concerned with societal expectations.
• 🌈 Life's experiences and intervals of possibility shape our journey, urging us to question and redefine ourselves.
• 🕊️ True humility involves thinking about oneself less and focusing more on others, fostering genuine self-awareness.

Q & A

What is a True Mirror, and how does it differ from a regular mirror?

A True Mirror uses two mirrors placed at right angles to create an image that shows what others see, unlike regular mirrors which show a reversed image.

Who invented the True Mirror, and where are they based?

The True Mirror was invented by a brother and sister team, John and Catherine Walters, based in New York.

What was the speaker's initial reaction upon looking into a True Mirror for the first time?

The speaker found it to be a disorienting experience, as it showed her head slightly tilted, revealing her true image as others see it.

What childhood memory did the speaker recall when looking into the True Mirror?

The speaker recalled noticing as a child that one side of her mother's top lip was higher than the other, which was confirmed when she looked into the True Mirror.

According to the speaker, how do people typically use regular mirrors?

People use regular mirrors for reassurance about their appearance, seeking confirmation that they look beautiful, young, tidy, or presentable.

What concept does the speaker emphasize about individuality and being oneself?

The speaker emphasizes that individuality and being oneself are crucial, suggesting that social reformation starts with the individual and that people should strive to be the best version of themselves.

What is the 'I complex' introduced by the speaker?

The 'I complex' is a model developed by the speaker to help people understand which 'I' they mean when they say 'I,' distinguishing between superiority, inferiority, and interiority complexes.

How does the speaker define 'interiority'?

Interiority is described as a disposition that is uncomparative and unrelative, representing a state where one is focused on their inner self rather than comparing with others.

What lesson did the speaker learn from her mother about performing and self-importance?

The speaker learned from her mother that she shouldn't flatter herself by thinking others are focused on her, but rather focus on making others happy and performing for their enjoyment.

What does the speaker believe about the relationship between the ego and the self?

The speaker believes that a stable relationship with the ego is essential, where the ego is in service to the self rather than dominating, helping one achieve a state of equanimity.