How to build resilient children | Teresse Lewis | TEDxTemecula

Summary

In this TED Talk, the speaker, Teresa Lewis, explores the concept of resilience and its critical role in shaping children's futures. Drawing from her 15-year narrative research journey, she emphasizes the importance of relationships in fostering resilience, especially in the face of adversity. Lewis advocates for resilience education from an early age, paralleling its importance with core subjects like math and science. She stresses the impact of influential adults in a child's life, including educators, and the four essential messages to instill in children: adversity is not personal, forgiveness is crucial, being seen and acknowledged matters, and it's okay to need others. Her personal story underscores the transformative power of caring relationships.

Takeaways

• 📚 The speaker is a bookworm and emphasizes the importance of reading and learning through the story of 'The Other Wes Moore'.
• 👫 The story of two individuals, both named Wes Moore, highlights the impact of different life outcomes despite similar backgrounds and challenges.
• 🤔 The central question posed is what differentiates children who experience adversity but have vastly different adult outcomes.
• 🔍 The speaker's 15-year journey in narrative research involved working with youth and families to understand factors influencing life outcomes.
• 💪 The key finding from the research is that resilience is the most critical characteristic for overcoming adversity.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Relationships, more than any other factor, are found to be the most impactful in building resilience in children.
• 🏫 The educational system is identified as a crucial setting for building resilience due to its regular and continuous access to children.
• 👩‍🏫 Educators and caring adults play a significant role in providing the support and guidance necessary for children's resilience.
• 👂 The importance of listening to and acknowledging children's experiences and characteristics to foster a sense of being seen and valued.
• 🤝 The message that it's okay to need other people is essential for building resilience and counteracts the societal definition of strength.
• ❤️ The speaker's personal story illustrates the transformative power of a caring and supportive relationship, in her case, her sister.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the speaker's TED Talk?

The main theme of the speaker's TED Talk is the importance of resilience in children, particularly those who have experienced adverse circumstances, and the role of relationships in building resilience.

What is the significance of the book 'The Other Wes Moore' in the speaker's talk?

The book 'The Other Wes Moore' is significant as it provides a real-life example of two individuals with similar backgrounds who had vastly different outcomes, illustrating the impact of resilience and the choices one makes in life.

What is the speaker's personal connection to the topic of resilience?

The speaker has a personal connection to the topic of resilience as she herself could have been one of the 'other Wes Moores' due to her early exposure to violence and abuse, but was saved by a strong, caring relationship with her sister.

What does the speaker define as the number one skill or characteristic children should have according to her research?

According to the speaker's research, the number one skill or characteristic children should have is resilience, defined as the ability to overcome adversity, trauma, and significant sources of stress.

What is the speaker's proposal for teaching resilience to children?

The speaker proposes that resilience should be taught to children from the beginning, with as much fervor as we teach subjects like math, science, sports, or art, emphasizing its importance in preparing them for inevitable life challenges.

What role does the speaker believe the educational system should play in building resilience in children?

The speaker believes that the educational system, being the only institution with regular and continual access to children, should play a crucial role in building resilience through relationships and by integrating resilience-building practices into the school setting.

What does the speaker suggest are the four essential messages that should be given to children to foster resilience?

The four essential messages the speaker suggests are: 1) Adversity is not personal, 2) Forgiveness is important, 3) It's okay to need other people, and 4) The importance of being seen and acknowledged for who they are.

How does the speaker describe the impact of relationships on a child's life outcomes?

The speaker describes the impact of relationships on a child's life outcomes as being greater than any other variable, such as intelligence or financial status, with quality relationships being the most impactful factor in building resilience.

What is the speaker's view on the role of families in building resilience in children?

The speaker acknowledges the role of families in building resilience but also recognizes that many families are currently overworked, under-resourced, and feel ill-equipped to meet the social and emotional needs of their children, suggesting a collaborative approach involving schools and other systems.

How does the speaker define 'resilience' according to the American Psychological Association?

The speaker defines 'resilience' as the ability to overcome adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, and significant sources of stress, as per the American Psychological Association.

What is the speaker's call to action for the audience?

The speaker's call to action is for everyone, regardless of their role in a child's life, to be a caring adult who makes a difference by being present, trustworthy, and supportive, thus helping to build resilience in children.