Is Marriage A Cure For Lust? (Fr Trenham)

Summary

The discussion delves into the Christian perspective on marriage, exploring its purpose as a divine institution meant to address sexual desire, foster harmony, and support companionship. The conversation touches on the misconceptions about lust within marriage, the significance of marital unity, and the importance of shared vision and growth. It also highlights how marriage is meant to transform sexual passion into love and unity, and emphasizes the importance of moderation, patience, and cultivating a deep, supportive friendship between spouses. The overall theme is how marriage is central to overcoming personal challenges and fulfilling God's commandment to multiply.

Takeaways

• 😀 Marriage is a divine institution created by God, and it is meant to be embraced as a complete package, not something to be selectively modified.
• 😀 St. Paul's message in 1 Corinthians 7 emphasizes that marriage is a solution for human sexual desires, to prevent fornication, and ensure sexual relations are channeled appropriately within the confines of marriage.
• 😀 There is a common misunderstanding in Christian circles that marriage is solely about 'channeling lust,' but it's more about cultivating harmony, love, and unity.
• 😀 The criticism of celibacy within the Catholic Church is misguided, as acting on deviant sexual impulses, such as pedophilia, is wrong and should not be legitimized within marriage.
• 😀 St. Paul’s reference to 'burning with passion' does not encourage lustful behavior within marriage, but instead addresses the need to fulfill natural sexual desires in a loving and committed union.
• 😀 The creation of Eve from Adam's rib in the biblical account symbolizes the deep companionship between husband and wife, with the wife as the guardian of her husband's heart and the heart of the family.
• 😀 The role of marriage is not just about sexual unity, but about working together toward a common vision and cultivating harmony within the relationship.
• 😀 The concept of 'concord' or harmony is central to a strong marriage, and it is actively cultivated through prayer and effort from both partners.
• 😀 Successful marriages require mutual growth and learning, with both spouses evolving together as they deepen their bond and understanding.
• 😀 Marriage changes a person's identity in a profound way, similar to how a priest's ontological change occurs upon ordination, and couples must learn to function as a unified entity, not as separate individuals.

Q & A

What is the first reason God created marriage according to the script?

The first reason God created marriage is to provide a way for man to overcome his own sexual desires, often referred to as 'the virus of lust.' This is based on St. Paul's teaching in 1 Corinthians 7, which suggests that each man should have his own wife and each woman should have her own husband to avoid fornication.

How does the speaker address the common misconception about marriage and lust?

The speaker addresses the misconception that marriage is about channeling lust, particularly focusing on men. He emphasizes that both men and women have sexual desires, and it is not about simply managing lust within marriage. Instead, marriage should focus on love, unity, and companionship, not the indulgence of sexual impulses.

What is the significance of the priesthood and marriage as described in the script?

The priesthood and marriage are both seen as transformative. The speaker explains that when someone becomes a priest, their very nature (ontology) changes, making them a spiritual leader. Similarly, when a person marries, their identity shifts from being a single individual to being part of a married couple, requiring them to behave as a married person even when not physically with their spouse.

What role does the wife play in marriage according to the speaker?

According to the speaker, the wife plays the role of the guardian of her husband's heart. The speaker references St. Methodius, who described the wife as taken from the husband's rib, symbolizing her role as his companion and protector of his heart. The wife is also seen as the heart of the family, complementing the husband's role as the head of the family.

How does the speaker view the relationship between love and marital sexuality?

The speaker views marital sexuality as a way to tame sexual desires and channel them into love. Sexuality, when connected to love and unity in marriage, goes from being wild and self-centered to something that strengthens the bond between husband and wife. This type of sexuality, cultivated over time, helps to build unity and is likened to 'superglue' for the marriage.

What does the speaker say about the concept of harmony or concord in marriage?

The speaker highlights that harmony or concord in marriage is vital and is emphasized in both Eastern Orthodox and Catholic marriage services. Marriage is about working together towards a common vision and cultivating unity and understanding. A lack of harmony is often the source of divorce, and couples need to make a concerted effort to grow and learn together.

How does the speaker view the connection between marriage and the idea of being fruitful and multiplying?

The speaker connects marriage to the commandment to be fruitful and multiply. He emphasizes that this command was given as a directive to create life and spread God's image. He also points out that simply reproducing oneself is not enough to fulfill this command; true multiplication requires a larger family, ideally a larger number of children.

What role does sexual desire play in marriage according to the speaker?

Sexual desire plays a significant role in marriage by being a natural part of the human experience. The speaker suggests that sexual desire should be contained within the boundaries of marriage, where it is transformed into an act of love. It is not about indulgence or fulfilling lust, but about creating unity and companionship between husband and wife.

How does the speaker describe the change that happens when a person gets married?

The speaker describes marriage as a change in identity. Once married, individuals are no longer single but part of a unit with their spouse. This change requires responsibility and maturity, as both partners must work together to grow and make decisions. This shift is akin to a spiritual transformation, where one becomes not just a married person but someone who embodies the commitment to the union.

What is the speaker's view on the importance of learning and growing together in marriage?

The speaker believes that learning and growing together is essential in marriage. Couples need to communicate, understand, and support each other’s growth. If they fail to do this, they may drift apart and live as if they were still single. The success of a marriage depends on shared learning and mutual development, both in spiritual and practical matters.