Dating In The Modern World: 7 Essential Actions | Naftali Moses

Summary

This video script addresses the alarming rise in divorce rates and the superficiality of modern relationships. It urges viewers to confront their insecurities, embrace vulnerability, and seek genuine connection over ego-driven interactions. The speaker emphasizes the importance of shared values, honesty, and the ability to resolve conflicts in building a strong, lasting relationship. It challenges the audience to ask deep, meaningful questions early in dating to foster authenticity and mutual growth.

Takeaways

• 📈 The modern relationship landscape is increasingly unstable, with high divorce rates and a focus on superficial aspects rather than deep connection and family values.
• 🚂 The speaker warns of being on a 'train heading off a cliff', implying that many are unknowingly part of a destructive pattern in relationships that needs to be addressed.
• 🤔 The importance of self-awareness is emphasized, suggesting that understanding one's own insecurities is crucial before entering a relationship.
• 💔 The script criticizes relationships that are based on ego and appearance rather than mutual growth and support, pointing out that these are often unfulfilling.
• 👤 It stresses the necessity of having a relationship with oneself first, as a foundation for building a healthy relationship with another person.
• 🔦 Insecurities should be brought into the light rather than avoided, as they are parts of oneself that need understanding and acceptance.
• 🌱 A growth mindset is promoted, where confronting and dealing with insecurities and conflicts are seen as opportunities for personal development.
• 🤝 The value of honesty and vulnerability in communication is highlighted as essential for building trust and a strong relationship.
• 👪 The concept of 'family' as a shared value and goal is presented as a cornerstone for a constructive and long-lasting relationship.
• 💡 The speaker encourages asking deep, potentially uncomfortable questions early in a relationship to ensure compatibility and shared values.
• 🚫 It warns against the dangers of projection and manipulation in relationships, advocating for acceptance of the other person's true self.

Q & A

What is the main issue discussed in the script regarding relationships?

The script discusses the high divorce rate and the superficial nature of modern relationships, which often lack depth, challenge, and romance, leading to dissatisfaction and failure.

Why does the speaker believe that people should be aware of their insecurities in relationships?

The speaker believes that recognizing and addressing insecurities is crucial for personal growth and for building a strong foundation in a relationship, as they can otherwise lead to manipulation and misunderstanding.

What does the speaker suggest is the initial step in understanding relationships?

The initial step, according to the speaker, is to have a relationship with oneself, which involves self-awareness and acceptance of one's insecurities.

Why is it important to be vulnerable in a relationship according to the script?

Vulnerability is important because it allows for honesty and authenticity in a relationship. It fosters a freeing state where there are no expectations on oneself or the other person, leading to a deeper connection.

What is the role of conflict resolution in a relationship as per the script?

Conflict resolution is vital as it tests the strength and maturity of a relationship. The ability to resolve conflicts effectively indicates a commitment to growth and a deeper understanding of each other.

What does the speaker mean by 'casting a projection' in the context of relationships?

Casting a projection refers to the act of imposing one's own desires and expectations onto a partner, rather than accepting and understanding who they truly are, which can lead to disappointment and manipulation.

Why is it suggested to ask serious questions early in a relationship according to the script?

Asking serious questions early on helps to establish a foundation of honesty and acceptance. It prevents misunderstandings and manipulation by ensuring both parties understand each other's values, expectations, and past experiences.

What are some of the serious questions suggested by the speaker to ask in a relationship?

The speaker suggests asking about sexual history, views on raising children, relationship with one's family, past relationships, and personal values and visions for the future.

What is the significance of shared values and vision in a relationship as discussed in the script?

Shared values and a common vision are significant as they form the basis for building a life together. They ensure that both partners are working towards the same goals and can support each other through life's challenges.

How does the speaker define attraction in the context of a relationship?

The speaker defines attraction as a fundamental aspect of a relationship, emphasizing its importance in creating a deep and meaningful connection. Lack of attraction can lead to dissatisfaction and potential infidelity.

What is the final advice given by the speaker regarding dating and relationships?

The final advice is to be real, honest, and to not settle for less than what one truly desires in a relationship. It encourages individuals to embrace their authentic selves and to seek partners who align with their values and vision.

Outlines

00:00

🚨 The Crisis of Modern Relationships

The speaker addresses the high divorce rate and the superficiality of modern relationships, which often prioritize appearance and ego over genuine connection. They emphasize the importance of self-awareness and vulnerability in building a strong relationship. The audience is encouraged to confront their insecurities and to be honest with themselves and their partners. The speaker warns against the manipulative tendencies that arise from a lack of self-acceptance and the potential for such behavior to damage relationships.

05:00

🌟 Embracing Vulnerability and Honesty

This paragraph delves into the concepts of vulnerability and honesty as foundational for a healthy relationship. The speaker argues that being vulnerable is not about burdening others with one's emotions but about being authentic and open. They stress the importance of asking serious questions early in a relationship to gain a true understanding of one's partner, including their sexual history, family dynamics, and past relationships. The speaker also discusses the negative impact of projections and the need to break free from them to foster genuine connection and acceptance.

10:01

🔍 The Importance of Acceptance and Communication

The speaker discusses the transformative effect of acceptance and communication in relationships. They share personal anecdotes about how their approach to dating has evolved, moving from a manipulative and superficial attitude to one that values honesty and vulnerability. The importance of asking deep, probing questions is reiterated as a means to truly understand a partner and to eliminate projections. The speaker also touches on the significance of sexual compatibility and shared values as cornerstones of a successful relationship.

15:03

🛡 Building a Life on Shared Values

In this final paragraph, the speaker wraps up their message by emphasizing the importance of shared values and a mutual vision for the future in a relationship. They argue that without a common understanding of what is important in life, it's impossible to build a meaningful and lasting partnership. The speaker also discusses the role of attraction and respect in maintaining a healthy relationship and the necessity of being willing to face challenges and conflicts together. They conclude by encouraging the audience to be real, honest, and unafraid to inconvenience others for the sake of true freedom in relationships.

Keywords

💡Relationships

Relationships in the context of the video refer to the interpersonal connections between individuals, particularly romantic ones. The video discusses the challenges people face in maintaining these connections, with a focus on the importance of authenticity and self-awareness within them. For example, the script mentions that modern relationships often lack fulfillment and are more about ego, which contrasts with the speaker's advocacy for genuine, self-reflective relationships.

💡Insecurities

Insecurities are personal vulnerabilities or doubts that individuals may have about themselves. The video emphasizes that acknowledging and addressing insecurities is crucial for personal growth and for building healthy relationships. The speaker uses the metaphor of shining a light on insecurities to illustrate the need to confront and understand them, rather than hiding them away, as seen in the script where a friend's big nose becomes a distinctive trait.

💡Vulnerability

Vulnerability, as defined in the video, is the state of being open and honest about one's feelings and thoughts without expecting a particular response from others. It is portrayed as a freeing state that is essential for building trust and intimacy in relationships. The speaker contrasts vulnerability with burdening others with one's emotions, highlighting its importance in the script by discussing how it should be practiced in dating and interactions.

💡Narcissistic

The term 'narcissistic' is used in the video to describe individuals who are excessively self-centered and lack empathy for others. The speaker warns that focusing solely on one's feelings in a relationship could lead to marrying someone who is narcissistic, as they would manipulate others based on their own needs and desires, as indicated when discussing the consequences of not addressing one's insecurities.

💡Authenticity

Authenticity is the quality of being true to oneself and not pretending to be something or someone else. The video stresses the importance of being authentic in relationships to avoid manipulation and to foster genuine connections. The speaker criticizes the modern trend of 'photogenic' relationships that lack authenticity and encourages embracing one's true self, as exemplified by the advice to be honest and real during dates.

💡Projection

Projection in the video is described as the act of imposing one's own desires or expectations onto another person, often in romantic contexts. The speaker argues that casting a projection can lead to disappointment and misunderstanding, as it prevents individuals from seeing their partners as they truly are. This concept is illustrated in the script through the discussion of unrealistic expectations in dating and attraction.

💡Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution is the process of addressing and overcoming disagreements or disputes within a relationship. The video emphasizes that the ability to resolve conflicts is a critical aspect of a strong relationship. The speaker suggests that avoiding conflict or not being able to resolve it can be detrimental, as it prevents growth and understanding between partners, which is highlighted when discussing the importance of confronting issues rather than avoiding them.

💡Accountability

Accountability refers to the willingness to accept responsibility for one's actions and their consequences. In the video, the speaker argues that taking accountability is essential for personal growth and for maintaining healthy relationships. It is portrayed as a sign of maturity and integrity, as seen in the script's discussion of owning one's insecurities and being honest with oneself and others.

💡Attraction

Attraction in the video is discussed as a fundamental aspect of romantic relationships, emphasizing its importance for both initial interest and long-term connection. The speaker warns against ignoring the lack of attraction, as it can lead to dissatisfaction and infidelity. The concept is used in the script to highlight the importance of physical and emotional chemistry in building a strong relationship.

💡Values

Values are the principles or standards that guide an individual's beliefs and actions. The video discusses the importance of shared values in a relationship, as they form the basis for mutual understanding and cooperation. The speaker argues that having a common vision and values is essential for building a life together, as illustrated in the script by the emphasis on discussing and aligning one's values early in a relationship.

💡Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand one's own emotions, motivations, and desires. In the video, self-awareness is portrayed as a crucial component for personal development and for fostering meaningful relationships. The speaker encourages individuals to be self-aware to make informed decisions in dating and life, as demonstrated in the script by the advice to understand and confront one's insecurities.

Highlights

The increasing divorce rate and the need for self-awareness before entering a relationship.

Modern relationships often lack depth, being more about appearance and ego rather than genuine connection.

The importance of having a relationship with oneself as a foundation for healthy relationships with others.

Insecurities should be faced and brought into the light rather than avoided or hidden.

Vulnerability is key in relationships, allowing for honesty and growth without expectations.

The necessity of a growth mindset when dating, being open to confronting and resolving issues.

The value of asking serious questions early in a relationship to avoid future misunderstandings.

The concept of 'projection' in dating and its negative impact on genuine connection and understanding.

The importance of resolving conflict effectively as a measure of a relationship's strength.

The role of honesty in building a strong foundation for a relationship.

The significance of shared values and vision for the future in a lasting relationship.

The role of attraction in compatibility and the potential issues of settling for less.

The idea that challenges and conflicts in a relationship can be opportunities for growth and connection.

The importance of being real and authentic in dating rather than adhering to superficial standards.

The potential red flags and warning signs to watch out for in relationships, suggesting a deeper discussion.

The transformative effect of embracing honesty and acceptance on the dating experience.

The empowerment that comes from understanding and confronting one's insecurities in relationships.

The emphasis on the importance of communication and self-awareness in building a constructive life and relationships.

Transcripts

we live in a world where more and more

people can't hold their relationships

and the divorce rate seems to be

climbing higher than 60% every day

there's a lot of things that I want to

tell you here that are going to feel a

little eerie and I want them to trigger

you and the reason why I want that to be

the case is because you are most likely

on the train that is heading off the

cliff and it's not a fun thing to hear

that you're driving off of a cliff but

it's a good thing to hear before you

drive off of it officially now the

modern relationship that we see a lot of

in the world nowadays is actually not

one that's fulfilling it's not one

that's challenging and it's not one

romantic either it's all photogenic it's

all about ego and it has nothing to do

with people coming together under the

basis of family so remember if

relationships are just about you and how

you feel about the other person well

then congratulations you're going to

marry a narcissistic psychopath and

whenever you change and it doesn't look

so good on them they're going to

manipulate you so let's avoid all of

those things and I think even most

importantly let's start creating a

constructive life now just so you

understand anything about relationships

is it initially starts with a

relationship with yourself so there's a

few things to understand when going into

this video if you don't accept that you

have a lot of insecurities and that

perhaps women and if you're a woman then

perhaps men trigger a lot of those

insecurities you're going to need to

have the ability to be vulnerable with

them sometimes you guys have to do the

most difficult thing possible don't just

say you're ready when you're not it

makes you less self-aware except that

you're not ready now so that when you

are you can choose the person that you

want to be it can no longer just be a

convenient decision which really

destroying a lot of people's

relationships is that they actually have

no basis of how they should be dating

and I want to give you guys some really

good tips to do that you know especially

if you're coming in and you're really

not feeling like oh I have all the

answers congratulations you're not

supposed to have all the answers it

wouldn't be exciting if you did she'd be

boring the date would be boring you're

already God everything's not interesting

let's just accept that yeah you're

coming in here with humanity and by the

way that's the same kind of space that

you would hope she comes in with too

some of these things are going to feel a

little bit antagonizing but that's good

it typically means that we're going into

the right direction here first and

foremost I always talk about this and

I'll just say this again the purpose of

this is so that you guys can realize

that your partner or whoever you're on a

date with is going to reflect things

that you do not know about yourself so

before you go ahead and say you know I'm

not ready to date I'm going to avoid

dating as a whole these things

journaling cannot solve it just won't

it's going to be something that's going

to come up on the spot and you need to

be willing to deal with it so I'm going

to deal with the first and foremost part

insecurities what exactly are they

here's what you need to understand about

insecurities a lot of those things are

parts of you that you don't want to

shine a light on so opposed to looking

at insecurities is something that's not

okay look at them as a part of you that

needs a level of light because you know

if your nose becomes this thing where

you know Adrien Brody has a nose of

noses well guess what it's actually

distinguishable to him you know I had a

friend and he has a big nose and big

ears at first it was an insecurity of

his but then once he owned it right he

shined a light on it he realized it

actually his trademark and that's how we

know him and his family and he had a

daughter recently and his daughter has

the same nose and ears and he loves her

for it cuz it's clearly his baby it has

the same look from his family over years

and years so really the insecurity is

not to look at you as the problem but

try to shine a light on it and these

things will pop up in the midst of the

date and now you have two things you can

get angry and protect that or you can

start maybe accepting that there's going

to be something that you confront in the

other person and that you're willing to

confront in yourself have the growth

mindset when you step into a date not

here to make a safe space for everybody

you're here for you and purely for you

and this kind of level of selfishness is

going to actually make you not only

desirable on a date but if it's a sh

date well you've grown so it's a win-win

for both of you stop trying to be so for

everyone and I recommend that you start

realizing that if your dates aren't

going very well it's probably not

because you're awkward and if you ever

feel like you're being awkward it's

probably because you're holding back the

honest intentions that you have because

of the insecurities that you're afraid

to confront about yourself so the whole

point of it is to do that going back to

what I was saying about insecurities I

really mean this they're not a problem

they need light and they need attention

when you're working with them think of

them more as wounds that need to heal

and they heal when you communicate them

and stand by them you need to be the one

to stand by them so now we can already

get into it you know I would say the

worst part is is that most people are

not being honest with each other so

before we get into what exactly you're

going to need to do I want you to

understand the value system that you're

going to need to have when coming into

this there needs to be family meaning

that this is beyond you this is about

something that's bigger than you that

you will not place an expectation on a

single entity to meet all of your needs

and that you'll begin to realize that

you two are coming together to

constructively build something if that

is not the case by which you guys are

coming together then you are accepting

the usage of another person until it's

convenient to find out what you want to

do with them you guys are going to both

need to share share a desire to grow if

you don't have that anytime where

there's

confrontation Deuces so a desire to grow

means that somebody is willing to

investigate this part of themselves even

if it's triggering if you do not have

that desire to grow and share that with

others anything that you do that's real

is going to push them away because

that's an opportunity to grow it's also

an opportunity to get closer the next

one is vulnerability this is a value and

when I mean it's a value and I'm going

to Define vulnerability for you it is

truth in being it isn't you going look

at me here's all of my emotions and

dumping them on somebody it's a very big

difference that's actually burdensome

being vulnerability is a freeing state

by which there is no expectation on

yourself or the other person on the

behavior that you have it's real and

it's honest so the second principle that

we have is vulnerability but that

vulnerability principle is also I guess

you could say compounded with honesty

and that's why I really want you to look

at it being honest so if you don't have

a desire to grow and that your core

value isn't honesty well you got

yourself a serious problem and now the

third one is of course well this is

going to be one of the most important

ones you're ability to resolve conflict

I promise you don't know them until you

challenge them if there's a problem and

you guys cannot resolve the conflict and

you guys are worse for it and you shut

down and you turn away from each other

and you drive the way home not saying a

word to her or her not saying a word to

you then what you are pretty much

rewarding is that there will be no

inconveniences in their life and at any

point where you say something that can

create a fight you will avoid it the

true test of a relationship is your

ability to resolve the conflict and get

down to the bottom of it the beauty of

this is that not only can you see each

other you can fight for each other and

there's so much Beauty in that now what

kind of goes into I could say the more

superficial thing level one if you don't

accept that you are going to be

manipulative number one and number two

that you're going to cast a projection

on nearly every woman that you find

attractive and what it means to cast a

projection means all of the repressed

things that you want her to be you will

make her listen to that everything that

your projection is you will want to make

her meaning that you're not listening

and if you're not listening well you

could say goodbye to all seduction you

could say goodbye to all confidence

because what you like listening to is

everything that you want her to be not

who she is now you're kind of boring and

predictable all she needs to do is

understand that you're under the whim of

her perfect gaze and all of that Mojo

and seducing you to not even think for

yourself because now you no longer have

values or principles so you need to

understand that when coming into this

relationship if you want to find love

you need to accept them first now the

more attractive they are the harder that

projection is going to be to break which

means the more serious the questions you

need to ask and now this is what's going

to trigger a lot of your scar you're

probably going to go well there aren't

that many attractive women or there

aren't that many attractive Partners or

people that I find attractive well

that's the whole point you live in a

world with scarcity that's going to

change your authentic behaviors meaning

you're going to manipulate people more

so take accountability of that so the

second thing that you guys need to

establish here which is once you guys

have acceptance how are you guys going

to get acceptance you need to ask

serious questions and I promise you and

you want to know the thing that's really

tearing people's lives apart they

haven't talked about where they want to

be married they never talked about when

they want to be married they never

talked about how they they want to raise

their children they never talked about

their sexual history they never talked

about their past relationships and do

you want to know the tragic part about

when people do they ask these questions

when it's too late when they're living

with them when their ring is on their

finger when somebody's pregnant and

you're telling me that maybe somebody

shouldn't tell you on the other side of

a screen that you should wake the up and

start being real with the people in

front of you and perhaps maybe start

taking more initiative taking more

action asking more of these questions

and you're doing it because you want to

accept the person not manipulate them

this is something I did you know in my

life you might think it doesn't work I

used to think it didn't work either you

know when I came up with this I was

scared a lot of my dates would look like

me performing for them thinking I

created a safe space I had a bunch of

secret intentions that I would stack on

them and I would never really know who

they are and it was so great for them

because they were laughing and giggling

and I'm there performing like a circus

clown when really all of the things that

would have allowed me to see them were

on the other side of these questions so

the way that my dates used to look you

know wait till the third or fifth date

after you've casted a projection and

slept with them four or five times and

then find out the truth what do you

think happens you're like this you're

like hitting your looking for a

dildo to put in your ass you're

making yeah I was that guy I would

genuinely go on dates with girls and the

second they would tell me anything

remotely dark about themselves I'd be

like okay we we better work on that and

I would take no accountability for any

of my behavior Behavior the second I

find out their body count do you want to

know what's funny I usually have a

friend that would ask me and and you

want to know what I would do I'd be like

bro bro it's not that high chill chill

chill what do you think happens because

of course it's going to be three times

the number you thought so don't think

that's going to change the way that you

see them and once it changes the way

that you see them you're going to feel

the symptoms of betrayal for no reason

at all and then she's going to be there

going what I'm just being honest with

you and you're like no you're not you're

actually hurting me in the name of

honesty so what are you rewarding

dishonesty all of those things are

problematic and the worst part of it all

is it makes you manipulative and it also

makes you think you don't need to take

accountability for these things and it

makes you run away from truth and it

makes you a weak man I don't want to see

that anymore and this needs to stop by

you just having a little bit of courage

to break the projection once you first

meet them and by the way do it with the

girl you want to hook up with just like

the girl you want to marry it will make

you an honest man not a perfect one I'm

here for real not for perfect and I

think that once we have real we can

start working towards an ideal and I

think you could remember those two

things once there's real there's an

ideal when there's fake you're in the

dark thinking that you're living your

perfect life no you're manipulative and

you're toxic so I never used to accept

women and what end up happening is I

would manipulate them and then that

would honestly hurt me and it would hurt

them and then I would keep dating the

same girl with a different name for the

next 3 years until they took

accountability to realize that perhaps

maybe I should be honest now the way

that my dates look now is and I mean

this I'm very vulnerable I'm very honest

they'll get in my car and I'll look at

them and I'll go holy hell what was God

thinking when he made you and that's the

first thing that comes to my head and

you know the second thing I'll say after

that is okay this is going to sound

crazy which is called setting a frame

I'm going to ask ask you these questions

and she goes why do you want to ask me

crazy questions so soon and it's like

well because I'm trying not to

manipulate you you're so hot and then

she she'll probably laugh and find it

admirable because I am being vulnerable

I'm communicating the attraction and I

don't really care if she thinks it's

leveraging but I'll also be honest and

she goes well why do you want to ask

these questions and I said they're going

to sound intense and the reason why I

ask these questions is because I want to

accept you not make you how I want to

see you I want to listen to you not

listen to who I want you to be then the

date

starts you better own who who you are

you better cuz if you don't these things

will feel like an attack on the other

person and they will feel attacked so

you need to feel connected to these

questions so the questions that I

typically ask are in relationship to

sexual history how you want to raise

your children what is your relationship

with sex and that's really good with

what's your relationship history because

you can really see what that

relationship is you ask them not do you

love your family don't load a question

like that ask them real questions and

those questions are what's your

relationship with your family and then

also what's your relationship with your

past relationships if they speak

negatively about these people if they

always have something to say about them

you already know that right now you're

learning a lot about the person and not

only are you learning about the person

your projection is gone you're probably

not thinking about the hard clothes

tonight you're thinking about oh my God

being honest with the person is not as

hot as I thought it was I liked making

love to fantasies not people because it

turns out people are pretty hard to love

if you really know them so opposed to

rewarding dishonesty reward acceptance

and start asking these questions that

really show you somebody's investigation

of themselves and remember if you're not

somebody that really cares to know these

answers you're probably psychotic and

wants to keep using others to fill these

voids that are so deep and so dark that

not even you feel like you're worth

loving the second one and this is going

to be very important if you guys don't

have sexual compatibility and

personality compatibility there's no

relationship and the reason why I'm

saying this is is because sex has

broughten more couples together than the

church or any institution ever has

because it's quite literally our basal

function it's our biological function to

reject the notion that sex is bringing

you guys to together would be rejecting

the notion that there wasn't something

to the fact that your Gene pools

complete each other and perhaps that the

thing that's going to make you feel the

most connected to life is going to be

that space that you guys share it's not

a problem to lust your partner it's a

beautiful thing and if there's no

respect in that space then it's of

course a problem and it just exists on

its own so what I often notice is that

you guys need to understand how powerful

attraction is if you're not attracted to

them do not be with them do not be with

them and the reason why I'm saying this

is because you will manipulate them

after the fact and also you could tell

them the truth I'm not that attracted to

you but there's lot of your personality

that makes you more

attractive nope that up in fact what you

should do is just understand yourself

that this person isn't for you why

because attraction is that damn

important and you should make that one

of your values and you shouldn't settle

for less because if you want to know

what happens once you do settle for less

you can start saying hello to hookers

prostitutes and cheating on your partner

and if you want to reward that behavior

keep doing that and of course the last

one this is going to be the next 50% of

what makes this the most important your

values and your vision of the the future

you will need to share those values I

promise you this is going to be how you

raise your family this is going to be

the things that you ask from yourself

and the things that you ask from her

it's going to be the reason why you guys

can build a life together think about

how beautiful that is without that

vision and without those

values there's no life that you can

build together I think that this gives

an opportunity for people to respect one

another because you guys are willing to

challenge one another so I want to kind

of wrap this up so you guys can really

see how this works I'm also going to

leave a little bonus of red flags and

watch outs but the beauty of this is is

now you meet somebody you share these

core values you accept them you find out

who they are you ask the questions you

enjoy the day throughout that process

you start realizing that your values and

your connection to those values makes

you somebody who's able to be challenged

when you guys interact with that

challenge you can resolve that conflict

and you could see what the truth about

each other not just who you say you are

to one another you could also see how

good you guys are at solving problems

which is why men and women come together

there's going to be a lot of problems in

the Horizon of your life and how about

maybe you start showing a spark of what

you could be to Day by knowing who they

are by accepting them by understanding

how important attraction is and by

establishing the values and vision for

your life moving forward if you guys

share the core value of family and that

you're willing to go through with that

and you understand the importance of sex

you can create a beautiful life by which

you build with somebody and that not

only will your challenges not be

something that are enjoyable you will

look forward to the fight because it's

an opportunity to get closer to the

parts of yourself that are embodied in

the opposite sex in front of you if you

want to continue dating the way that the

world tells you to date be sweet be nice

and don't be real I want you to be real

and if you need to be harsh and you need

to inconvenience others for Freedom

itself so be it