You're Probably Not An Introvert

Summary

The video script delves into the complexities of introversion and extroversion, debunking myths that social exhaustion equates to introversion. It highlights research showing that even extroverts can feel drained by social interactions and that negative work environments can exacerbate this for extroverts. The script also addresses social anxiety, its impact on cognitive load, and how technology may contribute to its rise. It concludes with advice on purpose-driven social interactions to mitigate energy drain and tips for introducing oneself confidently in social settings.

Takeaways

• 🤔 Common Misconception: Many people believe that feeling drained after social interactions is a sign of being an introvert, but this is not always the case.
• 🔋 Social Battery: The concept of 'social battery' is introduced, suggesting that social interactions can be draining for both introverts and extroverts, not just introverts.
• 🧠 Cognitive Load: Social anxiety can increase cognitive load, leading to social exhaustion as the brain is preoccupied with anxious thoughts during social interactions.
• 🌐 Impact of Technology: The script suggests that the rise of technology and online communication may be contributing to increased social anxiety and a decline in in-person social skills.
• 🌟 Extroverts and Social Fatigue: Extroverted behavior can lead to a mood lift but is followed by fatigue later, regardless of one's personality type.
• 🏠 Workplace Dynamics: Extroverts may be more sensitive to negative workplace gossip and dynamics, which can lead to emotional exhaustion.
• 🔄 Adaptation: The speaker suggests that spending more time with others can help reactivate the social parts of the brain that may have become 'rusty' due to less in-person interaction.
• 🎯 Purpose-Driven Interactions: Having a clear purpose for social interactions can reduce the energy drain and make socializing less exhausting.
• 🤝 Introduction Techniques: The script provides advice on how to confidently introduce oneself at social events, emphasizing succinctness and setting personal goals for interaction.
• 💡 Self-Awareness: Cultivating self-awareness is important to understand one's motivations and behaviors, which can be learned through group coaching experiences like those offered by Healthy Gamer.

Q & A

What is a common misconception about introverts and social interactions?

A common misconception is that introverts get drained by social interactions and therefore, if someone feels drained, they must be an introvert. However, the script points out that even extroverts can feel fatigued from social interactions, and it's not a definitive indicator of introversion.

Can extroverts experience social anxiety?

Yes, extroverts can experience social anxiety. The script explains that social anxiety is not exclusive to introverts and can affect extroverts as well, potentially causing them to feel exhausted in social situations.

What is the relationship between extroverted behavior and immediate mood gains?

According to the script, extroverted behavior correlates with immediate mood gains, but it also correlates with later fatigue, indicating that even those who are extroverted can feel tired after social interactions.

What impact does negative workplace gossip have on emotional exhaustion?

The script suggests that negative workplace gossip can lead to emotional exhaustion, and interestingly, extroversion strengthens the negative impact of such gossip, making extroverts more sensitive to it.

What is the key difference between introverts and extroverts in terms of social interaction?

The key difference is that introverts are less connected to their social environment, while extroverts are more connected. This means that an extrovert might be more affected by negative social dynamics, such as gossip, than an introvert.

Why do people often feel socially exhausted?

People often feel socially exhausted due to a combination of factors, including social anxiety and the cognitive load of processing social interactions. The script also points out that the rise in social anxiety may be linked to the increased use of technology and the resulting lack of in-person social interaction.

How can spending more time with other people help with social exhaustion?

Spending more time with other people can help as it allows the parts of the brain responsible for social interaction to become less 'rusty' and more adept at processing social cues, reducing the cognitive load and thus the feeling of exhaustion.

What role does the purpose of a social interaction play in reducing energy drain?

Having a clear purpose for a social interaction can significantly reduce the energy drain. Purpose-driven social interactions give individuals a goal or reason for being in a social setting, which can increase their energy and enjoyment.

How can setting a goal for a social event help an introvert or extrovert?

Setting a goal, such as introducing oneself to a certain number of people at a party, can help both introverts and extroverts by giving them a clear purpose for the interaction, which can make the experience less exhausting and more rewarding.

What is the advice given for introducing oneself at a social event?

The advice given is to approach someone with a simple 'Hi', smile, and a handshake, then introduce oneself succinctly, and ask open-ended questions to engage the other person in conversation. The focus should be on being succinct rather than trying to impress with confidence.

How does the script suggest dealing with social anxiety?

The script suggests that by understanding the nature of social anxiety and taking steps to engage in purpose-driven social interactions, individuals can learn to manage their social anxiety and reduce the feeling of exhaustion associated with socializing.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Misconceptions About Introversion and Extroversion

The script begins by challenging common beliefs about introversion and extroversion, suggesting that many people misidentify themselves as introverts due to the draining nature of social interactions. It introduces the idea that extroverts can also experience social anxiety and that the relationship between social interactions and energy levels is more complex than commonly thought. The speaker proposes to debunk myths and provide insights into the nature of introversion and extroversion, as well as strategies to maintain energy during social interactions.

05:00

🧠 The Impact of Social Environment on Energy Levels

This paragraph delves into the effects of social environments on energy levels, emphasizing that even extroverts can feel fatigued after social interactions. It discusses research findings that show extroverted behavior can lead to mood的提升 followed by fatigue, regardless of one's personality type. The speaker also touches on how negative workplace gossip impacts extroverts more significantly, suggesting that extroversion might make individuals more sensitive to social dynamics. The paragraph highlights the oversimplification of introversion and extroversion in popular culture and the importance of understanding the nuances of personality.

10:01

📉 The Role of Social Anxiety in Social Exhaustion

The script addresses the rise of social anxiety and its contribution to social exhaustion. It explains how social anxiety fills one's cognitive resources with anxious thoughts during social situations, leading to exhaustion. The speaker links the increase in social anxiety to the generational shift towards technology and online communication, which can cause the empathic and social parts of the brain to 'rust' due to disuse. The paragraph suggests that the lack of non-verbal cues in digital communication can lead to a heightened cognitive load during in-person interactions, resulting in fatigue.

15:02

🔄 Adapting to Social Interactions and Overcoming Anxiety

The final paragraph offers solutions to overcome social exhaustion and anxiety. It suggests spending more time with others to reactivate the brain's social circuits and adapting to social situations more comfortably. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of having a clear purpose in social interactions to reduce energy drain. Providing examples, the paragraph illustrates how having a goal, such as introducing oneself to a certain number of people at a party, can make social interactions less exhausting. The script concludes with advice on how to confidently introduce oneself in social settings, regardless of whether one has social anxiety or not.

Keywords

💡Introvert

Introvert refers to a personality type that tends to be more focused on internal thoughts and feelings rather than external stimulation. In the video, the concept of introversion is explored in the context of social energy and exhaustion, challenging the misconception that feeling drained by social interactions automatically makes someone an introvert. The script uses the term to illustrate the complexity of personality types and their relationship with social dynamics.

💡Extrovert

Extrovert is a personality type characterized by seeking external stimulation and gaining energy from social interactions. The video script clarifies that extroverts can also experience social fatigue, contradicting the common belief that they always thrive on social engagement. It is used to emphasize that the experience of social exhaustion is not exclusive to introverts and that extroverts might be more sensitive to certain social environments.

💡Social Anxiety

Social Anxiety is a common issue where individuals feel significant apprehension, worry, or discomfort in social situations due to fear of judgment or negative evaluation. The script discusses social anxiety in the context of both introverts and extroverts, highlighting that it can affect anyone regardless of their personality type. It is related to the video's theme by illustrating the cognitive load and exhaustion that social anxiety can cause during social interactions.

💡Cognitive Load

Cognitive Load refers to the amount of mental effort being used in working memory during the processing of information. In the video, cognitive load is associated with social anxiety, where anxious thoughts can fill up one's 'cognitive RAM,' leading to social exhaustion. The script uses the term to explain why social situations can be mentally draining, especially when individuals are preoccupied with worries about social performance.

💡Fatigue

Fatigue in this context refers to the state of feeling tired, exhausted, or drained, particularly after social interactions. The video script explores the idea that fatigue is not solely a result of one's personality type but can be influenced by various factors, including the nature of the social interaction and the presence of social anxiety. It is a central theme in the video as it discusses the reasons behind social exhaustion.

💡Personality

Personality encompasses the unique psychological qualities and traits that define an individual's behavior and patterns of thought. The video script delves into the misconceptions about personality types, particularly introversion and extroversion, and how they relate to social interactions and energy levels. It is used to challenge stereotypes and provide a more nuanced understanding of how personality influences social experiences.

💡Workplace Gossip

Workplace Gossip refers to the informal sharing of information, often of a personal or sensitive nature, within a professional environment. The script mentions that negative workplace gossip can lead to emotional exhaustion, especially for extroverts, who may be more sensitive to social dynamics. It serves as an example of how social environments can impact energy levels and contribute to social fatigue.

💡Technology

Technology in the video is discussed in the context of its impact on social skills and human interaction. The script suggests that the overuse of technology, particularly online communication, can lead to a decline in empathic and social skills, contributing to social anxiety and exhaustion. It is used to explain the rise in social exhaustion and the misconception of introversion in modern society.

💡Purpose-Driven Social Interaction

Purpose-Driven Social Interaction refers to engaging in social activities with a clear goal or intention, rather than aimlessly. The video script posits that having a purpose in social situations can reduce the energy drain and make interactions more enjoyable. It is used to offer advice on how to approach social situations in a way that can mitigate social exhaustion.

💡Self-Introduction

Self-Introduction is the act of presenting oneself to others, typically in new or unfamiliar social settings. The video script provides guidance on how to confidently introduce oneself at social gatherings, emphasizing the importance of having a clear purpose and being succinct. It is used as a strategy to overcome social anxiety and make social interactions less exhausting.

💡Social Skills

Social Skills are the abilities that enable individuals to interact effectively and harmoniously with others. The video script discusses the importance of developing and maintaining social skills to navigate social situations with less anxiety and exhaustion. It is related to the theme by highlighting how the lack of social skills, potentially due to technology use, can contribute to social exhaustion.

Highlights

Introverts may feel drained after social events, but this does not necessarily define them as introverts due to the complexity of personality traits.

Extroverts can also experience social anxiety, which challenges the common misconception that only introverts feel drained by social interactions.

Scientific research shows that extroverted and conscientious behavior is related to immediate mood gains but later fatigue, affecting both introverts and extroverts.

The nature of introversion and extroversion is more nuanced than commonly believed, with many people misidentifying their personality type.

Even in negative work environments, introverts are more resistant to gossip, while extroverts may be more affected by it, leading to emotional exhaustion.

The simplistic view of introversion and extroversion, often perpetuated by social media, can lead to misunderstandings about one's true personality type.

Evidence suggests that being an extrovert may cause certain social interactions to affect an individual more intensely.

Social anxiety can be experienced by extroverts and is characterized by anxious thoughts during social situations, leading to cognitive overload and exhaustion.

The rise in social anxiety, particularly among younger generations, is linked to the increased use of technology and a decline in face-to-face communication.

Spending more time in person with others can help reactivate the brain's social circuits and reduce social anxiety.

Having a clear purpose for social interactions can significantly reduce the energy drain often associated with socializing.

Both introverts and extroverts can benefit from purpose-driven social activities, which can increase their enjoyment and reduce exhaustion.

The exhaustion from social interactions is not solely related to personality but also to one's mental state and behavior during the interaction.

Even introverts can learn to enjoy social interactions by understanding and managing their approach to social situations.

The speaker provides practical advice on how to introduce oneself at social events to overcome social anxiety and make connections.

Confidently introducing oneself is more about being succinct and clear rather than displaying overconfidence, which can help alleviate social anxiety.

The transcript emphasizes the importance of understanding the complexities of introversion, extroversion, and social anxiety to navigate social situations more effectively.

Transcripts

this is the introvert

curse you're hanging out with someone

what and then some part of your brain is

like this guy's having fun at a social

event doesn't he know he's an introvert

and then we unplug the social battery

and then you feel drained so if we look

at people nowadays everybody is an

introvert why because social

interactions are

exhausting so let me ask youall a

question what does an extrovert

with social anxiety look

like can extroverts get social anxiety

how does that work so it turns out that

everyone thinks that they're an

introvert and chances are that half of

y'all at least are wrong okay so there's

a lot of common misconceptions about

personality in introversion and

extroversion and people sort of think

that oh if I get drained by social

interactions that means I'm an introvert

well it turns out that things are a

little bit more complicated than that

let's take a look at some science happy

now tired later extroverted and

conscientious Behavior are related to

immediate Moon gains but to later

fatigue extroverted Behavior correlates

with being socially tired later wow

that's kind of weird right that's

interesting so this is what a lot of

people don't understand if you get tired

from social interactions that does not

mean that you are an

rovert what we're going to learn today

is first of all how introversion and

extroversion there's a lot more

complicated stuff about social anxiety

and once we understand why we actually

get drained from social interactions and

extroverts by the way get drained from

some social interactions more than

introverts do then we'll understand what

is the nature of introversion

extroversion how does my social battery

get drained and we'll also give you one

key thing whether you're an introvert or

an extrovert to not

get drained when you act uh interact

socially so we'll teach you how to have

more energy when you approach social

interactions okay hey y'all I want to

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out the Link in the description below so

misconception number one everyone thinks

oh my god extroverts get energy from

social interactions and if I feel

drained that means I'm an introvert

incorrect so what we tend to find is

that even extroverts become fatigued

from social interaction the other really

interesting thing is that if you look at

negative work spaces so people where

people where work spaces where people

gossip so a lot of y'all think oh I'm an

introvert and I hate this [ __ ]

political everyone's gossiping all the

time and it's so exhausting it turns out

that if you are an introvert you are

actually

resistant to workplace gossip and

actually additionally extraversion

strengthens the main effect of negative

workplace gossip on emotional

exhaustion right so this is bizarre this

means that actually extroverts are more

sensitive to social things and that

negative workplace gossip actually gets

negatively impacted by extroversion so

some of y'all out there may actually be

extroverts but you just get tired from

social interactions and that's because

there is a simplistic view I know this

sounds crazy but as we get more and more

60-second Tik tocks that have no Nuance

in them we start to get these like black

and white perceptions of what

introversion and extroversion are this

means I am an introvert this means I'm

an extrovert no it doesn't half of y'all

are introverts and half of y'all are

extroverts and on top of that

87.5% of y'all are basically somewhat in

the middle and it shouldn't gigantically

impact you there are other things going

on let's understand this so if I'm

saying hold on a second if I get

exhausted from social interactions does

that mean I'm not an introvert yes there

is even some evidence that being an

extrovert causes certain kinds of social

interactions to be more to affect you

more so the key thing about extra verion

is you are more connected to your social

environment so if you're if you're

[ __ ] in a toxic workplace and you

feel exhausted in going to work every

day it doesn't mean you're an introvert

it just that me actually means you could

be an extrovert who's just more

sensitive to the workplace Dynamics

introversion means that you're less

connected to workplace stuff or social

interactions okay that's number one

second thing is if we look at that

fatigue paper that even if you get a

mood lift you will be fatigued 3 hours

later and that finding is actually

somewhat independent of whether you are

an in introvert or extrovert so that

sounds kind of weird because or weren't

we talking about extroversion in some

way so if you look at extroverted

Behavior extroverted Behavior leads to a

mood lift followed by fatigue 3 hours

later and whether you are your

personality is more of an introvert or

extrovert it actually doesn't matter so

so this is the key thing a lot of that

exhaustion does not have to do with

personality and this is really important

to understand because

personality is relatively fixed it can

change some over time but it's kind of

who you are the key thing to understand

what a lot of people don't understand

about exhaustion and social interaction

it doesn't have to do with personality

it has to do with what's your in your

head at that moment your behaviors in

the way that you frame social situations

so even introverts can learn how to

enjoy social

interactions so if this isn't the case

if we're sort of saying that it doesn't

matter that I'm an extrovert or an

introvert social interactions are going

to be exhausting for everybody and maybe

even social interactions are more

exhausting for extroverts in some

situations why does everyone feel so

socially exhausted and why does everyone

think that they're an introvert so

there's a second thing going

on what socially what exhausts people in

social situations is also something like

social

anxiety so if we look at Social Anxiety

which an extrovert can have by the way

which is terrifying it's it really

tricky what happens is that when we go

into social situations when we have

social anxiety our cognitive Ram is

filled up with anxious thoughts so you

go and you hang out with a group of

friends and you're like oh my God like

what is this person thinking is this

person upset should I speak when should

I enter the conversation I have

something cool to say but I don't know

how to enter the conversation I'm just

waiting here waiting for my chance to

speak waiting for my chance to speak and

oh crap now they've shifted to something

else but I had really something cool to

say should I go back to the topic but

that feels kind of awkward and I kind of

miss my chance and oh crap and like now

I'm not even saying anything and are

people wondering like if I'm just

standing around am I being creep this is

what leads to social exhaustion this is

social anxiety now why is this

experience more common the one univer

uniform something that I think is

responsible for the rise in social

anxiety across our generation starting

with Millennials and is getting worse

the deeper down we go the younger we get

is the use of

technology so what's started to happen

is we've stopped relating to other

people like in person we do things like

DM each other on Discord and when we use

online-based communication a lot of our

empathic and social circuitry starts to

rust so just to give you all a simple

example when human beings used to sit

around around a fire and like talk to

each other 2 years ago there are all of

these circuits in our brain that started

to develop that measure tone body

language you know facial expressions and

as those circuits develop those things

reassure us right because you can like

as you pay attention you're not really

paying attention to all subconscious so

the tone and body language of the people

around you reassure you you say okay

these people like me they feel

comfortable as we move on to more online

communication those parts of our brain

rust because if I'm dming 15 people on

Discord I don't have like the part of

like I can't measure tone I can't see

body language so those parts of our

brain start to shut off in the same way

that you forget a language if you don't

use it now we go into a real life social

situation these parts of our brain that

give us social reassurance are shut off

and so we don't get any of those

positive signals telling us hey people

actually don't think you're a creep

they're smiling at you they're looking

at you right they're like that they

don't think you're a creep but as those

parts of our brain

deactivate the cognitive part of our

brain starts picking up all of that load

and then it starts hyperactivating and

doing like calculations and calculations

are fatiguing and the more cognitively

you're sitting there calculating

calculating calculating how to not screw

up this conversation and no wonder it's

exhausting it has nothing to do with

whether you're an extrovert or an

introvert okay this is why social

anxiety is increasing this is why people

are getting more think they're an

introvert all the time doesn't mean that

you're an

introvert next thing so how do we fix

this okay so there are a couple of

things one is that you can just spend

more time with other human beings and as

you spend time with human beings those

parts of your brain will start to like

the gears will start moving and it'll

stop being a little bit Rusty okay but

it's painful to do that right and that's

why like people will say this [ __ ] like

just put yourself out there just put

yourself out there just put you're like

that's painful yeah it's painful but

it's going to take some time for your

like gears to adjust so it's kind of

like you know if I'm sitting all day in

an air conditioned environment then I

start spending time Outdoors where it's

hot it's going to feel really crappy but

eventually my body will like start to

change my Thermo regulation because the

body adapts but it sucks until that

adaptation kicks

in second thing so if we look at what

causes exhaustion when we socially

interact with people there's one primary

variable that you can control which is

the purpose of the social interaction so

Purpose Driven social interaction

reduces the the energy drain so when I

go to a party because my friends are

like hey put yourself out there and

you're like all right I guess I have to

go to a party and then you go to a party

but you're like okay I'm just here to

put myself out there there's not a clear

idea of like what you're doing there

there's not a clear

purpose that's going to be socially

exhausting because you're just sitting

there you're holding a drink maybe

you're on your phone too you're kind of

like what am I even doing here like this

is a pain like no one's talking to me

I'm not talking to anyone you're not

really like focused on you don't have a

particular

goal so this is what's really

interesting is you can send introverts

to social situations or extroverts and

if they have a purpose for being

there their energy will will be way

higher right so I can send an introvert

to like hey like we're going to go play

board games at a board game Cafe and

like we're going to have fun at a board

game Cafe and then you go to a Board

Game Cafe and suddenly you've got these

introverts who are chatting up the

people next to them cuz I'm there with

like my three friends we're playing a

four-player game but hey let's play like

Mafia or something like that involves

eight players and now suddenly you're

like making friends there's tons of like

people at Anime conventions who are like

hitting each other up and making friends

and half of them introverts or half of

them extroverts it's not like anime is

like specifically an introvert hobby

that's what we think but I don't think

so so Purpose Driven social activity so

if you feel

drained by social interaction it doesn't

mean you're extr doesn't mean you're an

introvert instead what you really need

to think about is what am I doing this

for what's my goal in being here and

even to sort of almost like

operationalize that out a little bit and

if you're going to a party okay like I'm

going to go here and I'm going to

practice talking to people so I'm going

to try to introduce myself to five

different people at the party and I'm

going to at least make small talk with

five different people and after that if

I'm not having a good time after 45

minutes I'm just going to leave so lay

it out for yourself and then how do you

actually introduce yourself to people at

a party you literally walk up to them

and you can say hi hello don't say both

of those things that's weird walk up and

say hi smile walk up hold out your

hand like this you know and say hi my

name is Alo it's nice to meet you and

then you can kind of ask them like you

know who like how did y'all end up here

you can ask them why why they're you

know how did you end up here are you a

friend of so and so someone invited you

to the party right and you can say like

hey I'm a friend of so and so's however

you got to the party or I'm I'm a

student at this

University and I'm here to get to know

some people and expand my Social

Circle that's it right you don't need an

excuse like oh my God like I have no

friends and I haven't left the house in

18 you don't need to say that just say

hey I'm here to expand my social I'm

here to meet new

people right and that's all the reason

you need and they're like this

[ __ ] they're all socially

anxious so they're like this

[ __ ] I wish I could do

that they're like now I have to explain

why I'm

here right you get that like all the

socially anxious people wish they could

walk up to someone and confidently

introduce themselves and confidently

introducing yourself is not about having

confidence it's about being succinct you

just walk up you say very little and

then the ball is in their Court

that's

it right and you don't want to do so

people are like how you doing don't do

any of that

crap right or you can be hi hello how

are you doing

today right and if you stutter over your

words you stutter that's okay you can

stutter you can say

hi you know hi hi hi I I I can't D I

mean I can't

I can't create a stutter so you just

stutter and you just say your thing hey

I'm here to meet people be having a

stutter doesn't mean that you're not a

good human

being what if they laugh then let them

laugh right that's why you're you're

introducing yourself to five

people and maybe you said something that

was funny who

knows