I SUFFER FROM ANXIETY & LOW SELF-ESTEEM. All I want is to love and be loved.

Mull Monastery
16 Dec 202214:06

Summary

TLDRThe transcript is a heartfelt message addressing the struggles of anxiety and self-worth in a young adult's life. It warns of the vulnerability to abuse due to low self-esteem and the societal pressures to conform. The speaker emphasizes the importance of authentic love and self-acceptance, as per Christ's teachings, and the danger of seeking validation from social media and the world's distorted perceptions. The core message is that true love and self-worth come from being genuine and allowing Christ's love to shape one's identity, rather than the world's superficial standards.

Takeaways

  • 😔 The speaker expresses deep anxiety and a fear of not being good enough, which affects their emotional well-being.
  • 🤔 They worry about how they are perceived by others and feel their self-worth is heavily dependent on external validation.
  • 💔 The fear of not being loved or worthy of love is a significant source of distress for the speaker.
  • ⚠️ The message warns of the vulnerability that comes from low self-esteem and the potential for abuse in various forms.
  • 👣 The advice given is to stand on one's own and move forward independently, both spiritually and mentally.
  • 📊 The speaker criticizes the tendency of young adults to compare themselves to the curated realities presented on social media.
  • 💌 Love, by its nature, is transformative, but one should not change their core self to be loved; true love accepts and reshapes you as you are.
  • 🔥 The speaker's greatest fear is living a life that is not true to themselves, shaped by the world's expectations rather than their own identity.
  • 🙏 The importance of allowing Christ's love to shape one's identity is emphasized, as it leads to becoming more authentically oneself.
  • 🌟 The speaker asserts that everyone is inherently worthy of love simply by virtue of being created by God.
  • 🙌 The speaker encourages embracing the cross and allowing spiritual strength to guide personal growth and transformation.

Q & A

  • What is the main concern expressed by the person in the transcript?

    -The person expresses a deep struggle with anxiety and a constant worry about how they are perceived by others, which heavily affects their self-image and emotional well-being.

  • Why does the person feel they are not good enough?

    -The person's feeling of inadequacy stems from a fear of not being worthy of love and a belief that they will never be truly loved due to their perceived shortcomings.

  • What does the person believe is central to Christ's teachings?

    -The person believes that love is at the center of Christ's teachings and that their worries are rooted in the possibility of not being deserving of such love.

  • What warning does the responder give to the person about their current state?

    -The responder warns that the person is currently at risk of being abused due to their low self-image and the need to please others, which makes them vulnerable to physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual abuse.

  • Why does the responder emphasize the importance of standing on one's own two feet?

    -The responder emphasizes this to encourage the person to develop self-reliance and self-worth, which is crucial for avoiding abuse and for personal growth.

  • What societal factors contribute to the person's anxiety according to the responder?

    -The responder points out that the younger generation's need to constantly advertise themselves and measure up to unrealistic standards set by social media contributes to their anxiety.

  • How does the responder define love and its role in personal change?

    -The responder defines love as a transformative force that changes individuals by helping them let go of inauthentic aspects and discover their true selves, rather than forcing them to become someone else to be loved.

  • What is the 'image of hell' described by the responder?

    -The 'image of hell' is described as living a life that is not true to oneself, being loved without being one's true self, and dying without having experienced genuine love or lived authentically.

  • What does the responder suggest as the antidote to the world's influence on personal identity?

    -The responder suggests reflecting the values of Christ and allowing oneself to be shaped by Christ's love, which encourages authenticity and the discovery of one's true self.

  • Why does the responder believe everyone is worthy of love simply by virtue of being created by God?

    -The responder believes in the inherent worth of every individual because God creates out of love, implying that every creation is an act of love and therefore deserving of love.

  • What does the responder hope for the person in terms of their spiritual journey?

    -The responder hopes that the person will allow Christ to shape them, become the person God created them to be, and through their transformed life, contribute to the salvation of the world through prayer and example.

Outlines

00:00

😔 Struggling with Anxiety and Self-Worth

The speaker begins by expressing their lifelong struggle with anxiety, which has intensified in young adulthood. They are deeply concerned with how others perceive them, and their self-image is heavily influenced by this perception. The fear of not being good enough leads to feelings of despair. The speaker yearns for love and acceptance, which they believe are central to Christ's teachings, but their worries stem from a fear of not being worthy of love. The response to this concern is a warning about the vulnerability that comes with a low self-image and the potential for abuse, both physical and emotional. The speaker advises being cautious and learning to stand on one's own before seeking love, emphasizing the importance of self-worth and independence.

05:00

💔 The Dangers of Conditional Love and Authenticity

This paragraph delves into the concept of love and its transformative power. The speaker argues that love should not require one to change their essence to be worthy of it. Instead, true love should accept and cherish one for who they are. The speaker fears living a life that is not authentic, warning that pretending to be someone else for the sake of love can lead to a life devoid of genuine connection and fulfillment. They emphasize the importance of allowing Christ's love to shape one's identity, rather than the world's expectations, which can lead to a loss of self and a hollow existence.

10:02

🙏 Embracing Divine Love and Becoming One's True Self

In the final paragraph, the speaker reassures the recipient of their inherent worthiness of love, simply by virtue of being a creation of God. They argue that all personal flaws and weaknesses are irrelevant in the face of divine love. The speaker encourages embracing the reality of Christ and allowing the cross to shape one's life, rather than running away from it. They express a personal connection to the recipient, seeing a reflection of their own potential journey, and offer prayers for their safety and growth into the person God intended them to be. The speaker concludes with a prayer for the recipient's transformation into a saint, through the grace of God's love.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Anxiety

Anxiety is a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear, that can be mild or severe. In the context of the video, the speaker describes experiencing anxiety for most of their life, which negatively impacts their emotional well-being. The script mentions that anxiety leads to constant worrying about others' perceptions and feelings of inadequacy.

💡Self-image

Self-image refers to the mental representation of oneself, including how one perceives their personal qualities and characteristics. The script discusses the individual's self-image being heavily influenced by how they believe they are perceived by others, which contributes to their anxiety and feelings of unworthiness.

💡Worthiness

Worthiness is the state of being deserving or having value. The video script touches on the fear of not being worthy of love, stemming from the individual's low self-image and anxiety. The speaker emphasizes that everyone is inherently worthy of love because they are created by God.

💡Love

Love, in the script, is presented as a central theme and a transformative force. It is described as being at the core of Christ's teachings and is the ultimate desire of the individual. The speaker discusses the misconception that one must change to be loved and the importance of being loved for who one truly is.

💡Authenticity

Authenticity is the quality of being genuine or true to oneself. The video emphasizes the importance of not changing who you are to be loved but instead being loved for your authentic self. The speaker warns against the dangers of pretending to be someone else to gain love and acceptance.

💡Abuse

Abuse, in this context, refers to the misuse or mistreatment of a person, which can be physical, emotional, or spiritual. The script warns that the individual's low self-image and desire to please others make them vulnerable to various forms of abuse, highlighting the need for self-protection.

💡Social Media

Social media is a term used to describe the online platforms that allow users to create and share content or participate in social networking. The speaker criticizes the impact of social media on self-image, as it encourages people to compare themselves to the curated and often exaggerated portrayals of others' lives.

💡Christ's Teachings

Christ's teachings refer to the moral and spiritual lessons attributed to Jesus Christ. The script positions love as central to these teachings and contrasts the transformative power of divine love with the superficiality of worldly affections.

💡Virtues

Virtues are moral or ethical qualities considered to be inherently good and worthy of regard. The speaker mentions virtues as the authentic qualities that make up one's true self, which should be discovered and nurtured rather than suppressed for the sake of pleasing others.

💡Transformation

Transformation refers to a profound change in form, appearance, or character. The video discusses how love, particularly Christ's love, can lead to a positive transformation, guiding individuals towards becoming their true selves, as opposed to the world's influence, which can lead to a loss of identity.

💡Unfinished Beings

The concept of being 'unfinished' suggests that individuals are in a state of continuous development or growth. The speaker uses this term to describe humans as beings that are still being shaped by God, emphasizing the importance of allowing divine values to guide this shaping process rather than worldly influences.

Highlights

The speaker shares their personal struggle with anxiety and how it affects their emotional well-being and self-image.

The speaker expresses their desire to love and be loved, and their fear of not being worthy of love due to their worries and anxieties.

The speaker warns the recipient that their current state of low self-esteem and need to please others makes them vulnerable to various forms of abuse.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of standing on one's own and moving forward independently to avoid being taken advantage of.

The speaker discusses how social media and societal pressures can lead to unhealthy comparisons and contribute to anxiety and depression.

The speaker explains that love should not require one to change who they are fundamentally, but should instead accept and love them as they are.

The speaker argues that trying to be someone else to gain love is ultimately unfulfilling and leads to a life not truly lived.

The speaker shares their greatest fear of living a life that is not authentically their own and the importance of staying true to oneself.

The speaker emphasizes that being loved by God is a fundamental truth that is not dependent on one's flaws or shortcomings.

The speaker encourages the recipient to allow Christ's love to shape them and guide them towards becoming the person they were meant to be.

The speaker warns against the dangers of letting the world's values and superficial standards shape one's identity and self-worth.

The speaker shares their personal journey of accepting God's love and becoming more authentically themselves as a result.

The speaker discusses the transformative power of Christ's love and how it can help one become more aligned with their true self.

The speaker offers prayers and blessings for the recipient, expressing their hope for the recipient's growth and spiritual journey.

The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of being a blessing to others and the world through one's authentic self and prayers.

Transcripts

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dear father sort of him

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I have been Afflicted with anxiety for

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the large majority of my life

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and as a young adult I find its grip

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know to be stronger than ever on my

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emotional well-being

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I find myself constantly worrying about

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what others think of me and my

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self-image is so heavily dependent on

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how I believe myself to be perceived in

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the eyes of others

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I constantly worry that I am not good

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enough

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and these thoughts cause me to retreat

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into despair

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above all

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I want to love and be loved

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it seems to me that love is at the

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center of Christ's teachings and my

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worries stem from the possibility that I

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am not worthy of being loved

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or will never be truly loved

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and are these ideas

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terrify me to no end

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oh dear seraphim

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I've chosen to respond to this message

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to this email actually of yours

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because there are two things in here

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that speak very closely to my own heart

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um first of all I need to say this

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from from this email and given your age

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you need to be very very careful with

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this passion and you need to be very

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careful at this particular time in your

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life because my dear one you are you are

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perfectly ripe for abuse right now

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with this low image and this need to

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please others this

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unhealthy ability that you've developed

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to reflect

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the reality around you and to accept it

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as who you are this makes you ripe for

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abuse not only physical abuse but also

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emotional mental abuse and even

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spiritual abuse

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until you stand on your own two feet or

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at least until you begin to slowly move

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forward on your own two feet and by that

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I mean being who you are to the degree

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to which it is possible to all of us

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until a van abuse is always always a

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possibility and a lot of our sins and a

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lot of our weaknesses and Falls come in

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fact from the abuse of others which

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sometimes is visible

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and other times it's not

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be very careful and guard yourself at

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this stage in your life until you see

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that you can move forward on your own

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two feet

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spiritually speaking mentally as well

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there is this

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need of yours to reflect what is around

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you in order to be loved my self-image

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you say is so heavily dependent on how I

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believe myself to be perceived in the

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eyes of others

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and this is a very very common in your

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generation you say you are a young adult

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very young people and young adults

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I suppose because of the society that we

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the older generation have built for you

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you have this need to constantly

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advertise who you are and you constantly

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measure yourselves against realities

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that have nothing to do with reality

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with a capital r

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you measure yourselves against what

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others advertise in turn

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you see when you look at someone's

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Social Media or when you read about the

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life of someone else those people are

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only going to put forward and advertise

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the the good aspects of their lives and

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even those good aspects of their lives

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they are going to be

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exponentially increased nobody's going

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to post about their sadnesses or

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weaknesses and even when they do that

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there's a touch of Pride there's a touch

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of um

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falseness in there

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we are aware of the best part of their

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lives and even that polished and

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increased but when it comes to our own

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realities we are aware of our deepest

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lowest selves

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and our deepest lowest moments and then

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this constant comparison creates anxiety

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creates tension and as you say

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depression and despair

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love

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changes

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by definition Love Changes but you do

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not change yourself prior to being loved

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you don't become someone

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else than who you are in order for a

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certain person to love you

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you love that person as you are and if

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by the grace of God that person loves

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you back then this Mutual

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becoming this Oneness that God creates

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that love creates this Oneness will in

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turn reshape you and change you you

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don't become someone you're not in order

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to be loved because even if then you

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think you experience love who is that

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person who is loved because it's not

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truly you is it

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if you are a certain way and you you

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mimic being someone else and then

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someone falls in love with you or you

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find love in a community even in a

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monastic Community if you pretend to be

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someone you're not

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who are those people loving and is that

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love truly yours does it truly belong to

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you does it truly touch you in in the

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core of your being

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the answer will always be no and sooner

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or later you'll feel that

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and for me dear sir of him this is the

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image of hell

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I've said this before many times my my

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greatest fear is to go through life as

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someone I'm not

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my greatest fear is to end up on my

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deathbed

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having lived a life that was not truly

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my own having loved with a love that was

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never my own having Been Loved by people

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without their love truly touching me

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because I was never who I truly am

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before them and even dying a death

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that is not my own

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the image of hell for me is to be on the

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death bed dying of death and

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contemplating a life that are not my own

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because I have allowed fear and anxiety

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and the need to please the world to

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shape me

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we are by definition unfinished beings

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We Are all uh like a big fetus each and

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every one of us we are a fetus in the

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womb of this world being shaped being

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slowly created still by God

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and we should reflect the values of

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Christ the values of true love in order

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for us to be shaped

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if we reflect the world we shall forever

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be dependent on the world and we become

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like the world

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if we reflect the world we become

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world-like and who we become disappears

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dies off and becomes dust with the world

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but if you allow Christ to shape you if

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you allow His Image to be reflected on

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you then you become christ-like

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and you shall survive the death of

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everything that is temporary and

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transient

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you become Christ like a holy man a

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saint

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all love changes

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even loving Christ will change you but

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the difference between Christ loving you

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and pushing you to change

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and the world loving you and pushing you

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to change is that Christ is pushing you

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to let go of the things that are not

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authentically yours

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and to discovering yourself the seeds of

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those values and virtues that make you

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who you truly are

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Christ's love will push you to change in

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the direction of you becoming who you've

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always been in his eyes his love will

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push you in the direction of changing

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towards becoming the saint he created

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you to be

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the love of the world if you allow that

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to shape you will push you into you

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becoming like the world

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and that's not something I wish for

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anyone

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including myself

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my dear dear dear seraphim you are

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worthy of love

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simply because God created you I don't

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need to know more than that I need to

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know that you are real

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and beyond that all your sins all your

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weaknesses all your inabilities uh to to

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be who you think you should be are

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completely irrelevant

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if God Made You God loved you loves you

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and will forever love you

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because God creates out of love you

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could not have been created otherwise

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I'm I'm not certain whether or not you

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are Orthodox but in a way it's

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irrelevant

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if you were Orthodox you would have

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known this better but

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even without being Orthodox know at

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least from me you don't have to be

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Orthodox You Are a Human Being you live

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you you breathe God gave you breath God

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created you and since God can only

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create out of love

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that means that you are worthy of love

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and you are worthy of his eternal love

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not this transient

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dust made love of the world

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reflect the realities of Christ

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don't run away from the cross allow the

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cross to shape you not running away from

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the cross to shape you allow the

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strength the the spiritual strength of

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the Cross to become the element that

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shapes you that shows you who you should

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become not a spiritual fear and

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cowardice

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I pray for you and I will pray for you

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by your real name not by seraphim

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because I see in you on a version of

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myself someone I could have become had I

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not been given this Grace at one point

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in my life to Simply

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madly accept God's love and follow it

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regardless of what that did to my social

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life in my late teens and early twenties

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and I've learned by experience that the

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more

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I love Christ the more I become someone

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I somehow felt was real

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a lot more real if you can say that in

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an existential Deep Way than who I was

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before not as popular as before but

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somehow the closer I got to Christ the

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less relevant popularity in the world

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became

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I shall pray for you both so that you

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are safe from abuse these ears while you

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learn to move forward but also so that

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you become that man whom God created you

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to be so that you become that Saint whom

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God created you out of his love to be

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because if you get to be that Saint and

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you get to pray for me and for this

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community and for the world then the

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World At Large through your prayer has a

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better chance of being saved my dear sir

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of him

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be blessed everyone be blessed to the

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core of your being

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amen amen

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amen

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Related Tags
Self-LoveAnxiety ReliefSpiritual GuidanceAuthenticitySocial PressureEmotional Well-beingSelf-ImageChrist's TeachingsPersonal GrowthMental HealthTrue Love