Procrastination and Self-worth

Summary

The speaker delves into the issue of procrastination, particularly in spiritual matters, and its root in the fear of failure and the belief that self-worth is tied to performance. They argue against the notion that success in life equates to spiritual worth, using Christ's crucifixion as a counterexample. The solution proposed is to embrace humility, perform spiritual duties like prayer and fasting with sincerity, and understand that salvation is ultimately a gift of God's grace, not a reward for deeds.

Takeaways

• 😔 Procrastination is a common struggle that leads to pain and self-torment, often tied to the fear of failure and the belief that self-worth is linked to performance.
• 🌐 The voice of the world can be deeply ingrained, convincing us that our value is dependent on our achievements and performance, even within a monastic setting.
• 🙏 The monastery provides a unique context where one can confront these voices without the judgment of performance, learning to prioritize spiritual health over worldly success.
• 🤝 The support of the online community is highlighted as a blessing, as they understand the importance of spiritual health and show patience and love, even when spiritual duties are delayed.
• 🐍 The script identifies the 'voice of the snake' as a metaphor for the heretical belief that God's love is conditional upon our performance and success.
• ✝️ Christ and the saints are presented as examples of individuals who did not achieve worldly success but were spiritually fulfilled, challenging the notion that success is a measure of spiritual worth.
• 🛑 The speaker emphasizes the importance of letting go of the belief that our spiritual life is reflected by our worldly struggles or successes, and instead focusing on faith and love.
• 🙇‍♂️ Humility is key; even after doing everything we are called to do, we must recognize that our efforts are nothing without God's grace.
• 🕊️ The Orthodox path to salvation involves both active participation in good deeds and an awareness of our dependence on God's grace, symbolized by the two wings of a bird.
• 🔄 The conflict arises from the struggle between the world's voice that tells us we must prove our worth through performance and the truth that we are loved unconditionally by God.
• 🌟 The speaker encourages the audience to do everything they can to live a spiritual life, with prayer, fasting, and good deeds, but to do so with the understanding that these actions are only effective through God's grace.

Q & A

Why do people often delay doing things they genuinely want to do?

People delay because deep down, they believe their self-worth and value are dependent on their performance, which is a message they've internalized from the world around them.

How does the monastery environment help in overcoming the issue of procrastination?

The monastery environment helps by providing a space where one is not judged based on performance, allowing individuals to learn not to judge themselves by their actions, and to prioritize spiritual health over performance.

What is the main message that the world's voice seems to convey to us about our worth?

The world's voice conveys that our worth and the love of God, as well as the love and forgiveness of ourselves and others, are contingent upon our performance and success in life.

How does the speaker describe the effect of the world's voice on our spiritual journey?

The speaker describes the world's voice as deeply rooted, echoing even within the monastery, and it can only be overcome by focusing on obedience, prayer, and not judging oneself based on performance.

What is the speaker's view on the relationship between our actions and God's love?

The speaker believes that God's love is not dependent on our actions or performance. Instead, it is an unconditional love that is not earned or lost based on our successes or failures.

What is the speaker's perspective on the teachings that suggest God's love is conditional on our performance?

The speaker views such teachings as heretical and contrary to the truth of the Christian faith, emphasizing that Christ and the saints exemplify a path of love and sacrifice that is not tied to worldly success.

Why does the speaker say that our struggles in life do not reflect our spiritual state?

The speaker argues that our struggles are part of the Christian soul's battle in a sinful world and do not indicate a lack of spiritual worth or divine love.

What is the speaker's advice for overcoming the fear of failure in spiritual practices like prayer and fasting?

The speaker advises to let go of the belief that success in spiritual practices is a prerequisite for God's love or salvation, and to engage in these practices with humility, knowing that true life comes from God's grace.

What is the significance of the phrase 'doing everything and yet being an unworthy servant' in the context of the script?

This phrase signifies the Christian understanding that all our efforts are nothing without God's grace, and even after doing everything, we should remain humble, recognizing our dependence on God.

How does the speaker address the balance between human effort and divine grace in the pursuit of spiritual growth?

The speaker emphasizes the need for both wings of a bird in flight: one wing represents human effort in prayer, fasting, and good deeds, while the other represents the awareness of God's grace, which gives life to these efforts.

What is the speaker's view on the role of the community in supporting spiritual growth?

The speaker appreciates the role of the community, especially the online community members, for their patience, love, and support, which allows for prioritizing spiritual health without the pressure of performance.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 The Struggle with Procrastination and Self-Worth

The speaker begins by addressing the common issue of procrastination and the pain it causes. They explore why people delay doing things they genuinely want to do, such as praying or personal growth, despite knowing the benefits. The main issue identified is the internalized voice of the world that convinces individuals their self-worth is tied to their performance. This belief stems from societal and personal pressures that one must perform well to be loved or forgiven. The speaker contrasts this with the monastic experience, where one can confront these voices without the fear of judgment based on performance, learning to prioritize spiritual health over external measures of success.

05:00

🙏 Dispelling the Myth of Performance-Based Worth

In this paragraph, the speaker delves deeper into the false belief that our worth and salvation are contingent upon our performance. They refute the idea that success in the world is a precursor to God's love, using the example of Christ and the Apostles who faced significant failures and hardships. The speaker emphasizes that Christ's crucifixion, in particular, was a stark demonstration of God's love being independent of worldly success. They encourage listeners to let go of the fear of failure and the belief that it reflects on their spiritual life or eternal destiny, instead focusing on the struggle itself as a sign of a Christian soul at war with worldly sins.

10:00

🕊 Embracing Humility and God's Grace in Our Spiritual Journey

The speaker discusses the importance of doing the spiritual work required, such as prayer, fasting, and acts of love and kindness, while maintaining humility by recognizing that these efforts are nothing without God's grace. They caution against the extremes of self-reliance on works for salvation or a passive reliance on God alone. The speaker emphasizes the Orthodox path to salvation, which involves both active participation in good deeds and a deep awareness of our dependence on God's grace. They urge the audience to let go of the world's voices that tie love and salvation to performance and to embrace the truth that our efforts are only brought to life by God's grace.

15:01

🌟 The Orthodox Path to Salvation: Effort and Grace

In the final paragraph, the speaker summarizes the Orthodox approach to spiritual growth, which requires a balance between personal effort and reliance on God's grace. They stress the importance of doing everything in one's power to live a spiritual life, including prayer, fasting, and acts of love, while also understanding that these actions are only effective if infused with divine grace. The speaker encourages the audience to undertake these spiritual practices with humility, recognizing that their efforts alone are insufficient for salvation. They conclude by expressing gratitude for the support of their online community and reflecting on the mutual learning that occurs through their interactions.

Keywords

💡Procrastination

Procrastination is the act of delaying or postponing tasks or actions, often despite knowing that it may cause negative consequences. In the video, it is discussed as a common struggle that people face, especially in relation to spiritual practices and self-improvement. The speaker uses the term to explore why individuals continue to delay doing things they genuinely want to do, even when they know it will lead to personal growth and spiritual development.

💡Self-worth

Self-worth refers to the intrinsic value and acceptance that one places on oneself, independent of external achievements or validation. The video script discusses how deep-seated beliefs about self-worth being tied to performance can lead to procrastination and a fear of failure. The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing that self-worth is not dependent on external validation or achievements.

💡Performance

Performance in this context refers to the act of doing or carrying out tasks, often with an emphasis on the outcome or the level of success achieved. The script mentions that people often believe their self-worth and value before God and others are contingent upon their performance, which can lead to a fear of failure and a reluctance to undertake spiritual practices.

💡Spiritual Growth

Spiritual growth is the process of developing one's spiritual and moral character, often through practices such as prayer, fasting, and acts of kindness. The video emphasizes the importance of engaging in these practices despite the tendency to procrastinate, as they are essential for personal and spiritual development.

💡Fear of Failure

Fear of failure is the apprehension or anxiety about not achieving success or making mistakes. In the script, this fear is identified as a significant reason behind procrastination, as people may avoid starting spiritual practices for fear of not being able to fulfill them perfectly or adequately.

💡Humility

Humility is the quality of being modest and respectful, recognizing one's own limitations and not overestimating one's importance. The speaker in the video encourages embracing humility by acknowledging that no matter how much effort one puts into spiritual practices, it is ultimately God's grace that brings life and meaning to these actions.

💡Grace of God

The grace of God refers to the unmerited favor, love, and assistance that believers receive from God, independent of their own actions or worthiness. The video script repeatedly emphasizes the importance of recognizing that all spiritual progress and transformation are ultimately due to God's grace, not human effort alone.

💡Heresy

Heresy is a belief or opinion that goes against the accepted doctrines of a religion. In the context of the video, the term is used to describe beliefs that suggest one's spiritual worth or salvation is dependent on their performance or achievements, which the speaker argues is contrary to the teachings of Christianity.

💡Christian Soul

A Christian soul refers to an individual who identifies with the Christian faith and seeks to live according to its teachings. The script uses this term to describe the struggle of believers as they navigate the challenges of the world while striving to maintain their faith and engage in spiritual practices.

💡Salvation

Salvation in a Christian context refers to the deliverance from sin and its consequences, leading to eternal life with God. The video discusses how the belief that one must perform certain actions to be worthy of salvation can lead to procrastination and fear, while emphasizing that salvation is a gift of God's grace.

💡Fasting

Fasting is the practice of abstaining from food, drink, or other bodily needs for a period of time, often for spiritual purposes such as focusing on prayer or demonstrating devotion. The script mentions fasting as one of the spiritual practices that believers may struggle to undertake due to procrastination and fear of failure.

Highlights

The discussion of why we procrastinate and the pain it causes despite knowing the benefits of completing tasks.

The idea that our self-worth is often tied to our performance, a belief instilled by societal voices.

The monastery as a place to confront and overcome the voices of the world that influence our self-worth.

The importance of obedience and prayer in learning not to judge oneself based on performance.

The support from the online community that understands the need to prioritize spiritual health over performance.

The challenge of distinguishing between the voices of the world and the voice of God within us.

The heretical belief that God's love is conditional on our success or performance.

Christ as an example of someone who failed by worldly standards but was divine and a model for us.

The struggle of being a Christian soul in a world full of sin and worldly passions.

The fear of failure as a reason for procrastination and the false belief that it affects our eternal salvation.

The teachings of Christ and the Apostles on the importance of humility and recognizing our unworthiness.

The necessity of mimicking virtues like prayer, fasting, and forgiveness until they become a reality within us.

The balance between doing good deeds and recognizing that our efforts are nothing without God's grace.

The Orthodox path to salvation involves both our actions and God's grace working together.

The need to let go of the belief that we are only loved if we perform in a certain way.

The encouragement to do everything we can, with the understanding that it is God who gives life to our deeds.

The acknowledgment of the community's effort in creating spaces for spiritual discourse and the importance of their support.

Transcripts

hello my dear

ones why why do we keep delaying things

why do we keep postponing why do we

procrastinate when it provokes so much

pain in us why do we keep delaying doing

the things that we want to do we

genuinely want to do them we we want to

pray I hear this so frequently and I

don't just hear it in you I hear it in

myself with we want to pray we want to

do the things we We crave to do we long

to do um we know that there would be

good for us that they would help us

flourish and grow into into a better

person a better Christian a better

mother or father or friend or and

eventually the saint whom we were

created to be we want to do them We

crave we long to do them and yet we keep

delaying every day every evening every

night week after week month after month

until months become years and years

become

decades why do we do this why do we

torment ourselves how is it that we

become our own enemies and is there

something we can do about

it I

know

from the hundreds of people and

confessions I've heard this

from that the main issue here is that

deep seated within us hidden within us

is the voice of the

world that has managed to convince us

and we were ready to believe this

voice that has told us that

somehow our own

selfworth our own

value before God and before the eyes of

our own conscience and sometimes our

value before the eyes of those around

us is dependent on our

performance we've listened to that voice

of the snake of the world that has told

us that we are only worth something we

are only worth God's love

or our own forgiveness and our own love

for ourselves and the love of those

around us if we manage to do stuff in

a performing way in a way that shows

them that we are

worthy we are blessed here at the

monastery we are blessed here because

first of all we've left the world behind

and here you can just look at yourself

in your absolute nakedness and you have

to fight you have to do battle with

these voices of the snake these voices

of the world that keep reoccurring even

here in the monastery years after we've

entered the monastery because they are

so deeply rooted that the echo keep

reverberating years after we've entered

the monastery but here because no one

judges you according to your

performance you learn slowly not to

judge yourself according to how you

perform and that has to do with

obedience that has to do with how you

pray When you pray how good or bad your

prayer is and so on and so forth we are

also blessed because the people who

support us um the members of Our Own

online community for example the people

who on a monthly basis are supporting

our lives here on Mal and on Iona the

Scottish irelands they've become by now

accustomed with

this need to prioritize our spiritual

sanity and spiritual health over

performance so if for instance we are

late with an email or with posting a

video or with replying a question or

with replying to a prayer request all

the things that we offer to them when

they become members of the online

community they by now know enough to

have love and patience and to wait for

us so we are fortunate but this is a

special context that does not happen in

the world in the world and in us here

until we do manage to venture out in

this desert and to Leave the World

Behind in the world we have voices is

surrounding us since we are born that

tell us that we are worthy of being

loved or worthy of being saved by

analogy only if we perform a certain way

if we do certain things and if we do

them to a certain degree of um value of

performance but what hides behind those

voices is the same voice of the snake in

the Garden of Eden that told Adam and

Eve that they can become

Godlike by their own means through their

own attempts if you do things the proper

way you will force God to love you this

is one of those

extreme forgive me again I don't say it

in meanness in any way it's just the

reality of it one of those extremely

heretic Protestant teachings that

somehow God only loves us if we manage

to um to be successful in the world that

somehow our success here what we do with

our family what we do in our jobs how we

are in our own well-being here the level

of happiness and success here somehow

for Shadows what will happen with us in

the

Kingdom things cannot be further from

the truth and the best example of that

is Christ himself and all his Apostles

and all the generations of martys and

Saints from the first century 2 Century

third century and so on all up to our

times Christ himself died as I've told

you in the past as the biggest loser of

the world he died naked on a cross being

mocked by his own Nation being crucified

killed and mocked by the very people to

whom he came to preach

salvation what can be a worse failure

than that to call yourself the Son of

God the king of Israel and to die on a

cross mocked and naked and spit upon by

your own

nation and yet this is God himself and

this is the image that he placed before

us and we need to let go of this

heretical deadly diabolical belief that

somehow if our lives here are a

mess that says something about our

spiritual life and it says something

about where we are going to be in

eternity the fact that you struggle with

your job the fact that you struggle in

your family the fact that you struggle

um in your relationship with your

friends your spouse your children and so

on it simply means that you are a

Christian Soul doing battle in in the

world you are a Christian Soul trying to

swim in this sea of sinfulness and

worldly passions that surround us and

that purposely want to drown us it

doesn't mean anything else the more you

struggle the more you do battle the more

violent this battle is against you as

long as you hold on to your faith as

long as you hold on to your Love Of

Christ and your neighbor and you don't

become bitter and embittered and you

keep moving forward you are all right my

brother you are all right my sister and

you are on that narrow difficult path

that does lead to

Salvation

behind this almost most pathological

procrastination of our entire generation

hides the fear that we are going to try

to pray and we are going to fail hides

the fear that we are going to try to

keep our vigils and be the Christians

that we want to be and again our souls

crave to be we are hungry and thirsty to

be that way and yet we keep delaying

even starting the work that would get us

there because we are afraid we are going

to fail and the snake through the world

has told us that if we fail that is a

sign that God himself does not love us

and that we fail in relation to our

Eternal

salvation all of that is false all of

that is heresy all of that is the voice

of the

devil the way forward my brother and my

sister is to do exactly what Christ has

taught us

exactly what the Holy Apostles his

disciples the first generation of

monastics and martyrs and Saints from

day one first century onwards up to the

church today what they've all taught us

in one voice do

everything and when you've achieved

everything when you've done everything

when you've fulfilled every single

commandment be aware you've done nothing

and still consider yourself an unworthy

servant these are Christ's teachings not

mine not anyone

else's we need to do the work we need to

put in the effort of prayer we we need

to carry the battle do the Battle of

fasting the Battle of night vigils the

long services in the in in in the church

um the love the forced love in the

beginning for the those around us the

kindness and forgiveness the forced Act

of forgiving others in the beginning

because we don't have these in US these

are things that we need to mimic in the

beginning until by the grace of God

these known realities become actual

realities in us and our known love this

fake love that we force ourselves to

have in relation to those around us

becomes real Love by the grace of God so

we need to force ourselves to do

everything the fathers are telling us to

do and everything Christ is showing us

in the gospel that we need to do he

fasted you'd better fast he prayed you'd

better pray and he prayed to the degree

of his sweat becoming like blood drops

of blood coming out of him that's the

sort of prayer we should aim for he

sought time alone time at night he kept

night vigils this is what you should be

doing and what I should be doing and

once we've done

everything we still have to find the

humility in us to know that everything

we've done equals zero and is dead until

God comes and breathes life in this

nothingness and like in the beginning he

will bring life out of of this

nothingness if you let go of doing

anything you fall into the extreme of

thinking that this is all God's work

this is all up to God I have nothing to

do I just have to say God is the Lord he

is my savior I've done that I've

received him in my heart and then I can

just keep on sinning keep on living my

life because if I received Christ in me

a physical sin cannot possibly stain me

there's nothing as horrendous as this

heresy

because that that gives us free will to

keep on sinning and Christ is denying

this almost every page in the gospel and

none of the ancient Christians until the

16th 17th century when Protestant

theology began to appear none of these

billions of Christians in the early

church believed that this is a

completely new

invention of all last few

centuries and if you let go of the idea

that somehow God is required if you end

up thinking that all you have to do is

do the work and then because you've done

the work you're entitled to be saved

then you fall in the first heresy we

were talking about the one that tells

you that you need to somehow prove in

this life that you are worthy of the

next one and that's what leads to our um

procrastination and our postponing

things and delaying things because deep

down we know we cannot do do this on our

own deep down despite the voice of the

devil despite the voice of the world

telling us that the way to be worthy of

love the way to be worthy of Salvation

is to do stuff almost like it's a

business thing a business exchange we do

all these things and therefore God is

obliged to save us although the world

keeps telling us that this is the truth

since we are born deeper down than the

voice of the devil deeper down than the

voice of the world is the voice of the

image of God in us that tells us that

once we've done everything we have

actually done nothing and we still

depend entirely on God's

grace and that's where the conflict

arises from and that's why we keep

delaying even the start of our vigil of

our fasting of our prayer of our

aesthetical struggle of any

kind because we

know we know that no matter how hard we

are going to try out of our attempts no

life will come

the Orthodox way from the mouth of

Christ to the mouth of his most unworthy

servants today the Orthodox way the

Orthodox path to Salvation has always

been that we need to be like a bird that

flies with both Wings on the one hand

you have the wing of us doing things

working things into the world from the

good deeds into the world taking care of

those who are poor offering Refuge to

those who have no refuge uh being peace

makers in the world hiding the

sinfulness of our brothers and our

sisters so that they can be forgiven so

that they can see our love

manifesting the the love of God into the

world so that for our love God people

may see God working in us this is the

work that we need to put out there and

in order to put that work out there you

do need prayer you do need fasting you

do need night vigil this is one of our

wings and then the other one of course

is the awareness that no matter how hard

we flap this Wing we still need the wing

of the grace of God to give life to

everything every effort every struggle

every battle that we encounter

we delay Because deep down we've been

made to

believe that only if we succeed in what

we attempt we are worthy of love and

salvation and we

know the Voice of Truth is still down

there somewhere we know that in and of

ourselves through our own means we

cannot breathe life into these poor

attempts

these poor aesthetical struggles of

ours let

go let go of any voice of the world let

go of any echo of any voice that has

ever told you you can only be loved if

you perform one way or

another do everything you can my brother

and my sister do that prayer that you've

wanted to do for all your life keep

yourself away force yourself forgive me

keep yourself awake force yourself to be

awake in the night and keep your night

vigil keep your fasting put the effort

to put to keep your fasting do

everything but do it with the humility

of one who knows that without God

stepping in and breathing life into

these Deeds they are nothing

just like all these videos I put in the

effort and the community around me my

brothers and my sisters in the

monasteries they put in the effort of

creating this time and this space for me

to record these videos but we are aware

that without God breathing life into

these words these words would have no

effect on anyone these words would

change no one's life even to the small

degree of praying a bit tonight or

trying to keep a bit of a visual

tonight oh thank you everyone for your

love for your prayers for your support

thank you as always to those of you who

are members of our online community I

enjoy I love I look forward to our

meetings either our weekly videos or our

monthly Zoom interaction

I learn so much both about you and what

you need to hear and what you need to be

taught but also about myself because I

can see myself reacting to your worries

to your struggles and from that reaction

I learn a lot about myself we are all

grateful for that love we are all

grateful for that sacrifice may God

bless BL you guide you and protect

you amen amen amen