The 10 Qualities of an Emotionally Intelligent Person

The Art of Improvement
20 Oct 201911:29

Summary

TLDRThe video script explores various types of intelligence, emphasizing Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and its impact on relationships and decision-making. It outlines 10 qualities of emotionally intelligent individuals, including empathy, self-awareness, curiosity, analytical thinking, and adaptability. The script encourages personal growth in EQ to influence oneself and others positively, highlighting the importance of understanding needs versus wants and fostering a passion-driven, positive attitude for success.

Takeaways

  • 🧠 The importance of recognizing various types of intelligence and integrating them into our lives is highlighted.
  • 📈 IQ is associated with memory, retrieval, and logical reasoning, while CQ, or curiosity quotient, is linked to the motivation to learn.
  • 🌟 Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is defined by the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions in oneself and others, impacting behavior and decision-making.
  • 💡 Empathy is divided into affective and cognitive, with the former being about mirroring feelings and the latter about understanding others' emotions.
  • 🤔 Self-awareness involves understanding oneself and how others perceive us, with introspection and feedback being key to its development.
  • 🔍 Curiosity is a driving force for success, linked to passion and the desire for continuous learning and improvement.
  • 🤓 High Curiosity Quotient (CQ) individuals are more tolerant of ambiguity and are inclined towards intellectual investment and knowledge acquisition.
  • 🧐 Emotionally intelligent individuals are deep thinkers, problem solvers, and philosophers who question the 'why' behind actions and existence.
  • 🙏 Faith in oneself and a positive attitude are foundational for success, complementing action and values like hard work and perseverance.
  • 🏡 Distinguishing between needs and wants is crucial for emotionally intelligent individuals, who prioritize needs over personal desires.
  • 🔥 Passion is a powerful motivator that fuels perseverance and positive energy in all aspects of life, especially for those with high EQ.
  • 🌞 A positive attitude is within our control and is essential for happiness, motivation, and success.
  • 🔄 Adaptability is the ability to recognize when to change course or continue with a strategy, and it's vital for personal growth and success.
  • 🤝 Emotionally intelligent people are interested in the success of others as well as themselves, fostering a spirit of cooperation and mutual support.

Q & A

  • What are the various kinds of intelligence mentioned in the script?

    -The script mentions IQ (Intelligence Quotient), which is associated with memory and logical reasoning, and CQ (Curiosity Quotient), which relates to one's motivation to learn. It also focuses on EQ (Emotional Intelligence), which involves recognizing, understanding, and managing emotions.

  • What is the definition of Emotional Intelligence according to the script?

    -Emotional Intelligence is defined as the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions, as well as to recognize, understand, and influence the emotions of others.

  • How does emotional intelligence impact our lives according to the transcript?

    -Emotional intelligence impacts our relationships, decision-making processes, and ability to identify opportunities. It helps us understand how emotions drive our behavior and influence others, both positively and negatively.

  • What are the 10 qualities that comprise an emotionally intelligent person as mentioned in the script?

    -The script does not list all 10 qualities but mentions empathy, self-awareness, curiosity, analytical thinking, faith, discernment between needs and wants, passion, positive attitude, adaptability, and concern for others' success as part of these qualities.

  • What is the difference between 'affective empathy' and 'cognitive empathy' as described in the script?

    -Affective empathy refers to the feelings we get in response to others' emotions, which can include mirroring their feelings or feeling stressed when detecting their fear or anxiety. Cognitive empathy, also known as perspective taking, is our ability to identify and understand other people's emotions.

  • How can one cultivate empathy according to the script?

    -Empathy can be cultivated and learned through experiences. It involves storing away feelings in reaction to others, putting things in perspective, writing thoughts out, analyzing them, and determining how to treat others as one would like to be treated.

  • What is the role of self-awareness in emotional intelligence?

    -Self-awareness is the understanding of oneself, recognizing the stimuli one faces, and preparing for how to manage oneself both proactively and reactively. It involves seeing ourselves as we are and as others perceive us, which is crucial for personal growth and effective interaction with others.

  • How does curiosity contribute to success as per the script?

    -Curiosity leads to a learning mindset that positively affects areas like relationships. It makes individuals more tolerant of ambiguity, drives intellectual investment, and knowledge acquisition, especially in formal domains of education like science and art.

  • What is the significance of analytical thinking in emotionally intelligent individuals?

    -Analytical thinking is crucial for emotionally intelligent individuals as it involves a continuous improvement mindset. It helps in processing new information, analyzing old habits, and extracting ways to improve, making them effective problem solvers and philosophers.

  • How does faith contribute to emotional self-control as mentioned in the script?

    -Faith contributes to emotional self-control by providing a belief in oneself and the future. It helps in maintaining a positive attitude and is combined with values like hard work and perseverance to form the foundation of a champion.

  • What is the importance of distinguishing between needs and wants for emotionally intelligent people?

    -Distinguishing between needs and wants is important for emotionally intelligent people as it helps them prioritize basic survival requirements like safety and sustenance over personal desires, ensuring they meet their essential needs before fulfilling wants.

  • How does passion influence the actions of emotionally intelligent individuals?

    -Passion in emotionally intelligent individuals serves as a driving force that ignites their actions. It is infectious and permeates all areas of their lives, inspiring them to persevere and power forward regardless of their circumstances.

  • What is the role of a positive attitude in the life of an emotionally intelligent person?

    -A positive attitude is crucial for emotionally intelligent people as it is within their control and can influence their mindset, mood, and success. It allows them to live each day positively and is a key factor in happiness and motivation.

  • How does adaptability play a role in the life of an emotionally intelligent person?

    -Adaptability is important for emotionally intelligent individuals as it allows them to recognize when to continue with their current course or when to change direction. It involves being open-minded and willing to adapt and introduce new elements to their thinking and actions.

  • Why is it important for emotionally intelligent people to care about others' success?

    -Caring about others' success is important for emotionally intelligent people because it drives them to do their best for both themselves and others. It helps prevent envy and greed, revitalizes passion, and builds powerful relationships that can reciprocate help.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 The Multifaceted Nature of Intelligence

This paragraph delves into the various types of intelligence, emphasizing the importance of emotional intelligence (EQ) over traditional intelligence (IQ). It introduces the concept of curiosity quotient (CQ) as a measure of one's eagerness to learn. The speaker focuses on EQ, defining it as the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions in oneself and others, which is crucial for decision-making and relationships under pressure. The paragraph also touches on the significance of empathy, distinguishing between affective and cognitive empathy, and how self-awareness plays a vital role in personal growth and leadership. The speaker encourages cultivating these qualities for a more emotionally intelligent life.

05:00

🤔 The Analytical Mindset and Emotional Control

In this paragraph, the speaker discusses the analytical mindset as a continuous process of self-improvement and open-mindedness. It highlights the role of faith in maintaining emotional self-control, suggesting that faith, combined with values like hard work and perseverance, forms the basis of success. The speaker also touches on the importance of distinguishing between needs and wants, advocating for a clear understanding of one's essential requirements before pursuing desires. The paragraph underscores the infectious nature of passion and its role in inspired leadership, as well as the power of a positive attitude in enhancing happiness, motivation, and success. Finally, it emphasizes adaptability as a key trait of emotionally intelligent individuals who can make swift and effective decisions.

10:01

🌟 Pursuing Passion and Collective Success

The final paragraph emphasizes the importance of passion and its ability to drive individuals towards their goals, creating a positive impact on those around them. It speaks to the infectious nature of passion and its role in sustaining energy and motivation. The speaker encourages maintaining a positive attitude as a means to control one's mindset and mood, which in turn can lead to increased intelligence, motivation, and success. Furthermore, the paragraph discusses the value of adaptability in recognizing when to change course or persevere, and the importance of starting over when necessary. Lastly, it stresses the significance of collective success, advocating for a balance between self-interest and the desire for others to succeed, as a means to build strong relationships and achieve greater goals.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Intelligence

Intelligence in the context of this video script refers to the various cognitive abilities that humans possess, which can be categorized and measured. It is the central theme of the video, emphasizing the importance of recognizing and integrating different types of intelligence into our lives. For example, the script discusses IQ and CQ as specific types of intelligence.

💡IQ (Intelligence Quotient)

IQ, or Intelligence Quotient, is a measure of cognitive abilities such as memory, retrieval, and logical reasoning. It is mentioned as a familiar form of intelligence that is primarily associated with these skills. The script explains it as a traditional measure of intelligence that many people are aware of.

💡CQ (Curiosity Quotient)

CQ, or Curiosity Quotient, is introduced as a newer measure of intelligence that reflects one's motivation to learn about a particular subject. It is highlighted as an emerging concept that is gaining importance in understanding intelligence.

💡Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is defined as the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one's own emotions and those of others. It is a significant focus of the video, with the speaker discussing its importance in personal growth and professional success. The script elaborates on EQ's role in decision-making and relationship building.

💡Empathy

Empathy is described as the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing. The script distinguishes between 'affective empathy' and 'cognitive empathy,' explaining how they relate to emotional responses and understanding others' emotions, respectively.

💡Self-Awareness

Self-Awareness is the ability to understand oneself, including recognizing personal stimuli and preparing for how to manage oneself. It is portrayed as a critical component of emotional intelligence, with the script suggesting that it involves introspection and seeking feedback from others.

💡Curiousity

Curiosity is presented as a driving force for learning and improvement. The script emphasizes its role in fostering a learning mindset, which positively impacts various aspects of life, including relationships and personal growth.

💡Analytical Mind

An analytical mind is characterized by the ability to deeply think, analyze, and process information. The script describes it as a continuous improvement mindset that is open to new ideas and is essential for emotional intelligence.

💡Faith

Faith, in this context, is the belief in oneself and the future, and the conviction that things will work out for the good. The script suggests that faith, combined with action and values like hard work and perseverance, forms the foundation of success.

💡Needs vs. Wants

The script differentiates between 'needs' and 'wants,' explaining that needs are essential for survival and safety, while wants are desires for things that are not necessary for life. Emotionally intelligent people understand this distinction and prioritize needs over wants.

💡Adaptability

Adaptability is the ability to recognize when to continue with a current course of action or when to change direction. The script highlights it as a vital skill for making decisions in one's best interest and for personal growth.

💡Passion

Passion is described as a natural desire, drive, and ambition for a subject or someone, which is essential for inspired leadership and love for what one does. The script illustrates how passion is infectious and can motivate individuals to persevere.

💡Positive Attitude

A positive attitude is portrayed as a choice that one can make to live each day with optimism. The script emphasizes its importance in increasing opportunities, improving relationships, and thinking clearly and constructively.

Highlights

There are various types of intelligence, and it's essential to discover and integrate them into our lives.

Intelligence can be measured in quotients, with IQ being well-known for memorization, retrieval, and logical reasoning.

CQ, or curiosity quotient, is an emerging concept related to the motivation to learn specific subjects.

Emotional intelligence (EQ), popularized by Daniel Goleman, involves managing emotions and influencing others' emotions.

EQ is crucial for decision-making, identifying opportunities, and enhancing relationships.

The speaker identifies 10 qualities of emotionally intelligent individuals.

Empathy is defined as understanding or feeling what another person is experiencing.

Affective and cognitive empathy are distinguished based on emotional response and understanding others' emotions.

Empathy can be cultivated through experiences and introspection.

Self-awareness involves understanding oneself and how others perceive us.

Building self-awareness requires introspection and seeking honest feedback.

Curiosity is linked to success, driving passion and the desire to improve.

High CQ individuals are tolerant of ambiguity and show intellectual investment in education.

Emotionally intelligent people are deep thinkers, analyzing information for continuous improvement.

Faith in oneself and the belief that things will work out for good is a component of emotional self-control.

Faith combined with values like hard work and perseverance forms the foundation of success.

Emotionally intelligent individuals discern between needs and wants, prioritizing the former.

Passion and purpose ignite the drive to excel in what one does, influencing others positively.

A positive attitude is within our control and contributes to happiness and success.

Adaptability is the ability to recognize when to change course or stick to the current path.

Emotionally intelligent people are open to change and starting over when necessary.

Success and achievement are important for emotionally intelligent individuals, both for themselves and their peers.

Transcripts

play00:00

There are many different kinds of intelligence, and it’s our job to discover what they are

play00:05

and how to integrate them into our lives.

play00:08

Sources of intelligence can be measured in quotients.

play00:11

Most of us are familiar with IQ, or the intelligence quotient, which is primarily associated with

play00:16

our ability to memorize, retrieve items from our memory and our logical reasoning.

play00:22

There’s also a new up and comer, CQ, or curiosity quotient, which refers to one’s

play00:28

ability to have a powerful motivation to learn a particular subject.

play00:32

What I spend much of my time in both research, and in working with clients and organizations

play00:37

on, is focusing on emotional intelligence.

play00:42

The definition of emotional intelligence (popularized by author Daniel Goleman in his seminal, eponymous

play00:47

book) is the ability to: “Recognize, understand and manage our own

play00:52

emotions.

play00:53

Recognize, understand and influence the emotions of others.

play00:57

In practical terms, this means being aware that emotions can drive our behavior and impact

play01:02

people (positively and negatively), and learning how to manage those emotions - both our own

play01:08

and others - especially when we are under pressure.”

play01:12

We are emotional creatures who often make decisions and respond to stimuli based on

play01:17

our emotions.

play01:18

As a result, our ability to grow in EQ has an enormous impact in all of our relationships,

play01:24

how we make decisions and identify opportunities.

play01:27

EQ is enormously important.

play01:30

Through my work, I’ve identified 10 qualities that I believe comprise the emotionally intelligent

play01:35

person.

play01:36

I hope you gain value from this and learn to understand the ways you can influence your

play01:41

mind, and the minds of others, by growing emotionally every day, in all that you do.

play01:49

I love this definition of empathy: “Empathy is the capacity to understand or

play01:56

feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, i.e., the

play02:02

capacity to place oneself in another’s position.”

play02:06

There are two different types of empathy.

play02:08

A piece from the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley beautifully depicts what they

play02:14

are: ‘“Affective empathy” refers to the sensations

play02:18

and feelings we get in response to others’ emotions; this can include mirroring what

play02:23

that person is feeling, or just feeling stressed when we detect another’s fear or anxiety.

play02:29

“Cognitive empathy,” sometimes called “perspective taking,” refers to our ability

play02:34

to identify and understand other peoples’ emotions.’

play02:38

We empathize based on the reaction to others.

play02:41

What I’d also say is that empathy can be cultivated and learned through experiences.

play02:47

Store away in your memory those feelings that you feel both in reaction, and as you put

play02:52

things in perspective.

play02:54

Write these thoughts out, analyze them and determine how you want to treat others in

play02:59

the same way you’d want to be treated.

play03:05

Self-awareness is the art of understanding yourself, recognizing what stimuli you’re

play03:10

facing and then preparing for how to manage yourself in both a proactive and reactive

play03:15

manner.

play03:16

Self-awareness is how we see ourselves, and also how we perceive others to see us.

play03:21

The second, external aspect, is always the most difficult to properly assess.

play03:27

“Leaders who focus on building both internal and external self-awareness, who seek honest

play03:32

feedback from loving critics, and who ask what instead of why can learn to see themselves

play03:38

more clearly — and reap the many rewards that increased self-knowledge delivers.”

play03:42

For yourself, ask the introspective questions, yearn for knowledge and be curious.

play03:49

And for others, seek feedback in an honest, caring environment.

play03:56

Show me a curious person who’s willing to learn and improve, and I’ll show you a success

play04:01

story waiting to happen.

play04:03

When you’re curious, you’re passionate, and when you’re passionate you are driven

play04:07

to want to be your best.

play04:09

Your “antennae” are up to things you love, to wanting to grow and learn more.

play04:14

This learning mindset positively affects other areas of your life like relationships.

play04:19

“First, individuals with higher CQ are generally more tolerant of ambiguity.

play04:26

This nuanced, sophisticated, subtle thinking style defines the very essence of complexity.

play04:32

Second, CQ leads to higher levels of intellectual investment and knowledge acquisition over

play04:38

time, especially in formal domains of education, such as science and art.”

play04:47

The most emotionally intelligent and resolute people are deep-thinkers that analyze and

play04:51

process all new information that comes their way.

play04:55

They continue to analyze old information, habits and ways of doing things to see if

play05:00

they can extract ways to improve.

play05:02

We’re all “analysts” in the sense that we consciously think about all new information

play05:07

that comes our way.

play05:09

Savvy EQ individuals are problem-solvers and everyday philosophers who contemplate the

play05:14

“Why” of existence, the “Why” of why we do what we do, and who care passionately

play05:20

about living a virtuous life.

play05:23

Having an analytical mind means having a healthy appetite for a continuously improving mindset

play05:28

geared at bettering yourself and always remaining open to new ideas.

play05:36

A major component of maintaining emotional self-control is using the power of faith to

play05:41

believe in yourself both in the present and in the future.

play05:45

It’s believing that the people and things in your life are there for a reason, and that

play05:50

everything will ultimately work out for good.

play05:53

Faith alone will not help you.

play05:54

It takes action, of course.

play05:56

But when you combine faith with powerful values like hard work, perseverance and a positive

play06:02

attitude, you have formed the foundation of a champion.

play06:06

Every great leader and thinker uses faith, either in a practical context, emotionally

play06:12

and certainly spiritually.

play06:14

Spend time in meditation.

play06:16

Think about the way you believe in yourself.

play06:19

Engender a greater faith toward the person you are and who you want to become.

play06:24

And trust and believe that the pieces in your life will come together in a way that will

play06:28

help you live boldly and joyfully.

play06:30

The emotionally intelligent mind is able to discern between things that they need versus

play06:40

things that would be “nice to have” that classify more aptly as wants.

play06:44

A need, particularly in the context of Abraham Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs,” is the

play06:50

basic-level stuff like safety, survival and sustenance.

play06:55

Once those things are met, then we can progress to other needs and of course, wants.

play06:59

A “want” is a big house, nice car, and even the brand new iPhone.

play07:05

We do not need those things to survive, but rather we want them based on our own personal

play07:10

desires or what we perceive to matter to society.

play07:14

Become well-versed in knowing what you truly need to to live, to accomplish goals and to

play07:19

support yourself and loved ones.

play07:22

Make sure you draw a very clear distinction between what it is you need, and what it is

play07:27

you want.

play07:29

Emotionally intelligent people know the difference between these two things, and always establish

play07:33

needs prior to fulfilling wants.

play07:40

Inspired leadership and love for what you do is born from having a passion for a subject

play07:44

or people.

play07:46

People with a high EQ use their passion and purpose to ignite the engine that drives them

play07:51

to do what they do.

play07:53

This passion is infectious and contagious — it permeates all areas of their lives

play07:58

and rubs off on the people around them.

play08:01

Passion is sort of that “je ne sais quoi” that when you feel it, or even when you see

play08:06

it in others, you simply know.

play08:08

Passion is the natural desire, instinct, drive, ambition and motivated love for a subject

play08:14

or someone.

play08:16

Passion brings positive energy that helps sustain us and inspire us to want to keep

play08:20

going.

play08:21

And there’s no secret that emotionally intelligent people who are passionate are also willing

play08:26

to persevere and power forward no matter their circumstances.

play08:34

If you want to increase your opportunities, improve your relationships and think clearly

play08:38

and constructively, you’re best positioned to maintain a positive attitude.

play08:43

Of all the things that we try to control and influence, our attitude is the primary thing

play08:48

that is always within our control.

play08:51

We can choose to live each day by being positive.

play08:54

It’s that simple.

play08:55

“When we are happy - when our mindset and mood are positive - we are smarter, more motivated,

play09:01

and thus more successful.

play09:03

Happiness is the center, and success revolves around it.”

play09:12

Emotionally intelligent people recognize when to continue their course, and when it’s

play09:16

time for a change.

play09:18

This vitally important recognition and ability to make crisp, swift decisions in your best

play09:23

interest is called adaptability.

play09:26

You must determine when to stay the course, or when to keep moving forward in another

play09:30

direction.

play09:32

Similarly, when one strategy is not working, try evaluating and determining if something

play09:37

else will work.

play09:39

From the way you treat yourself, to how you treat others, to your daily routine, always

play09:44

stay open-minded and be willing to adapt and introduce new elements to how you think and

play09:50

what you do.

play09:51

Throughout your life, you’ll need to change course and make assessments on whether you’ll

play09:55

be happy and successful if you choose one path or another.

play10:00

Recognize that you CAN always change.

play10:03

You can always start over.

play10:05

It may not always be the most prudent or wise decision, but only you will truly know in

play10:11

your heart what is or what isn’t.

play10:14

Start with leaving the option on the table.

play10:20

Last but not least, an emotionally intelligent person is interested in overall success and

play10:26

achievement - not just for themselves, but for their peers.

play10:30

Their inspired leadership and passion, combined with their optimism, drives them to want to

play10:36

do best for themselves AND others.

play10:38

Too often, we get so self-absorbed and concerned only with “What’s in it for me?”.

play10:44

We have to be concerned about this.

play10:46

It’s a must, so don’t let anyone ever convince you otherwise.

play10:50

But in the same way that we should be focused on our self-interest, we should also maintain

play10:55

a spirit of desire and hope for wanting to see the people around us succeed.

play11:00

Not only is this a brilliant safeguard against envy and greed, it also revitalizes our passion

play11:07

and drives us toward achieving our next goal.

play11:10

It helps us gain allies and builds powerful relationships that come back to help us in

play11:15

reciprocal fashion.

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Related Tags
Emotional IntelligenceSelf-AwarenessEmpathyCQIQAdaptabilityPassionLeadershipDecision-MakingPersonal GrowthSuccess Mindset