How To Get a Woman’s Attention

Jordan B Peterson Clips
11 Feb 202308:09

Summary

TLDRIn this engaging script, the speaker offers advice on attracting the interest of women, emphasizing the importance of personal hygiene, a neat appearance, and good posture. He discusses the pitfalls of narcissistic behavior and the genuine qualities women seek, such as confidence, productivity, and generosity. The speaker humorously touches on the challenges faced by young men and engineers, suggesting that social skills and the ability to present oneself effectively are crucial for success in dating.

Takeaways

  • 🧼 Hygiene and cleanliness are essential for making a good first impression.
  • 💇‍♂️ A decent haircut and maintaining a neat appearance are important for personal presentation.
  • 🕴️ Standing up straight with shoulders back is a simple yet effective way to project confidence.
  • 🤷‍♀️ Women's preferences vary, and attraction is not one-size-fits-all.
  • 🚫 Narcissistic behavior can be deceptive and may appeal to naive individuals, but it's not a sustainable basis for a relationship.
  • 🦚 'Peacocking' or wearing something eye-catching can signal confidence, but it can also be seen as a form of deceptive narcissism.
  • 🤝 Women tend to seek confident, productive, and generous partners, reflecting values that are also appreciated in friendships and professional relationships.
  • 👶 Women often look for men who are capable of taking care of themselves and potentially a family, which includes being competent and generous.
  • 📊 Age preferences in relationships can be influenced by the need for stability and support, with women often preferring men slightly older.
  • 💡 Developing social skills and the ability to present oneself authentically is crucial for attracting a partner.
  • 🔧 The speaker humorously points out that being competent in one's field does not automatically translate to social or dating success, using the example of engineers.
  • 🌟 The importance of self-improvement and personal growth is emphasized, suggesting that becoming a better, more confident, and productive individual will naturally attract potential partners.

Q & A

  • What is the first piece of advice given for attracting the interest of the female species?

    -The first advice given is to maintain good personal hygiene, which includes having a decent haircut and being clean.

  • What is the significance of standing up straight with your shoulders back according to the speaker?

    -Standing up straight with your shoulders back is suggested as a good posture that can help in making a positive impression.

  • Why do some women fall for narcissistic psychopaths according to the script?

    -Some women fall for narcissistic psychopaths because they often imitate competence, which can be mistaken for actual ability, especially by young and naive women.

  • What is the term 'peacocking' as mentioned in the script and what does it suggest about confidence?

    -Peacocking refers to wearing something out of the ordinary or more colorful to stand out and show confidence, which can be deceptive in some cases.

  • What is the speaker's opinion on the advice given by manosphere dating sites?

    -The speaker criticizes the advice given by manosphere dating sites, suggesting that it often promotes deceptive narcissism rather than genuine self-improvement.

  • What qualities does the speaker suggest are generally attractive to women?

    -The speaker suggests that women are generally attracted to confidence, productivity, generosity, physical attractiveness, and a sense of humor.

  • What is the speaker's view on the age preference of women in relationships?

    -The speaker believes that cross-culturally, women tend to prefer men who are about four years older than them due to the need for a partner who is competent and capable of providing for a family.

  • Why do women seek men who are competent and generous according to the script?

    -Women seek men who are competent and generous because they are looking for a partner who can take care of themselves and potentially a family, especially during the vulnerable times of having children.

  • What is the speaker's advice for young men who are not attracting the interest of women?

    -The speaker advises young men to grow up, become competent, productive, generous, and develop social skills to present themselves in a manner that is attractive to others.

  • What is the story about the engineers in a bar and what does it illustrate?

    -The story about the engineers in a bar illustrates how even highly competent individuals can struggle with social skills, leading to missed opportunities in dating and relationships.

  • What is the final piece of advice the speaker gives to young men about self-improvement and social skills?

    -The final advice is for young men to not only become competent and productive but also to develop social skills to genuinely advertise their qualities and make themselves worth being around.

Outlines

00:00

👔 The Art of Attracting Women: Hygiene, Confidence, and Genuine Qualities

The speaker begins by humorously addressing the question of attracting women, suggesting that basic hygiene, a decent haircut, and cleanliness are good starting points. He emphasizes the importance of standing up straight with shoulders back as a sign of confidence. The speaker then delves into the complexities of what women look for in a partner, noting that it varies with individual wisdom and experience. He touches on the deceptive confidence of narcissistic psychopaths and how young, naive women may be drawn to them due to their imitation of competence. The speaker warns against adopting such deceptive behaviors and instead advocates for genuine confidence, productivity, generosity, and social skills. He humorously points out that if all women don't like you, it's likely due to your own shortcomings, especially if you're young, and suggests that maturity and self-improvement are key to attracting a partner.

05:00

🤔 Social Skills and the Challenge of Engineers in Dating

In the second paragraph, the speaker discusses the importance of social skills in advertising one's positive qualities. He uses the example of engineers, who he humorously suggests are often socially unskilled despite their competence and productivity. The speaker shares a personal anecdote involving his brother-in-law and another engineer in a social setting, where their inability to engage with a woman trying to join their conversation led to humorous and awkward interactions. The engineers' lack of social finesse caused the woman to feel unwelcome and ultimately left the speaker reflecting on the challenges engineers face in dating due to their tendency to focus on technical correctness over social harmony. He concludes by advising young men to improve their social skills and presentation to increase their chances of finding a partner.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Hygiene

Hygiene refers to the practice of maintaining cleanliness to prevent illness and infection. In the context of the video, it is suggested as a fundamental aspect of personal presentation that can influence one's attractiveness to the opposite sex. The script mentions 'little hygiene' as a starting point for making a good impression.

💡Confidence

Confidence is a belief in one's own abilities and the assurance to act decisively. The video discusses confidence as a marker of ability that women may look for in potential partners, even though it may sometimes be falsely presented by individuals such as narcissistic psychopaths.

💡Narcissistic Psychopath

A narcissistic psychopath is a person with a personality disorder characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and an exaggerated need for admiration. The script describes how these individuals can imitate competence and fool others, particularly young and naive women, into thinking they are capable partners.

💡Peacocking

Peacocking is a term used in the dating community to describe the act of wearing something out of the ordinary or colorful to stand out and project confidence. The script mentions peacocking as a strategy that can be deceptive and associated with narcissistic behavior.

💡Competence

Competence refers to the ability to do something successfully or efficiently. In the video, competence is highlighted as a quality that women seek in men, as it signals the potential to provide for a family and demonstrate reliability.

💡Generosity

Generosity is the quality of being willing to give in a selfless manner. The script suggests that generosity is a fundamental quality women look for in men, as it reflects a caring and supportive nature.

💡Physical Attractiveness

Physical attractiveness pertains to the aesthetic appeal of a person's appearance. The video mentions it as one of the features that can contribute to a person's overall attractiveness to the opposite sex.

💡Sense of Humor

A sense of humor is the ability to perceive, enjoy, or express what is funny. The script implies that having a sense of humor can be an appealing trait in a potential partner, adding to their overall charm.

💡Social Skills

Social skills are the abilities that enable people to interact effectively and harmoniously with others. The video emphasizes the importance of social skills in advertising one's positive qualities to potential partners and avoiding the pitfalls of being socially inept.

💡Engineers

In the context of the video, engineers are used as an example of professionals who may excel in their technical field but struggle to translate their social status into dating opportunities. The script shares a humorous anecdote about engineers' lack of social skills in a social setting.

💡Reciprocal Relationship

A reciprocal relationship is one where both parties give and receive in a mutually beneficial way. The video discusses the dynamic between men and women as not one of dependency but of mutual support and care.

Highlights

Importance of personal hygiene and a decent haircut as a starting point for attracting interest.

The rule of standing up straight with shoulders back as a sign of confidence.

The complexity of what women look for, varying with individual wisdom and experience.

Narcissists' ability to imitate competence and deceive through false confidence.

The tendency of young women to fall for narcissistic psychopaths due to their inability to distinguish them from competent men.

The concept of 'peacocking' as a way to display confidence and stand out.

Critique of deceptive narcissism taught by some dating sites and its potential dangers.

Fundamental qualities women seek: confidence, productivity, generosity.

The value of physical attractiveness and a sense of humor in addition to core qualities.

The speaker's suspicion that the questioner is young and the general lack of interest in young men.

Cross-cultural preference for men who are older, indicating a search for competence and security.

The vulnerability of women and their need for a partner capable of providing for a family.

The reciprocal nature of relationships and the importance of mutual care.

The speaker's advice for young men to grow up and develop social skills.

The importance of being competent, productive, generous, and socially skilled.

The anecdote about engineers struggling to translate social status into dating opportunities.

The humorous story of the speaker's brother-in-law and an encounter with a woman in a bar.

The need for young men to present themselves confidently and usefully to attract interest.

The humorous conclusion that the speaker's partner actually caught him, contrary to his previous statement.

Transcripts

play00:00

how do you acquire the interest of the

play00:02

female species

play00:04

you mean personally

play00:07

sharp suits man

play00:11

[Applause]

play00:19

well you know little hygiene is not such

play00:22

a bad thing

play00:24

as a start decent haircut you know

play00:28

certain amount of cleanliness

play00:30

that's a good thing

play00:31

what's rule one in the first book stand

play00:33

up straight with your shoulders back

play00:35

that's good thing to do

play00:38

you know what do women look for

play00:41

depends on the wisdom of the woman

play00:42

obviously but well it does because you

play00:46

know you can narcissists can fool naive

play00:48

women that's why narcissists propagate

play00:51

by the way and we know this because

play00:53

narcissistic Psychopaths

play00:55

young women are more likely to fall for

play00:57

narcissistic Psychopaths and the reason

play01:00

for that is they can't tell them from

play01:01

competent men because narcissistic

play01:04

Psychopaths imitate competence and

play01:07

that's their Niche and so they have a

play01:09

confidence

play01:11

that isn't justified by their ability

play01:13

but the women check out the confidence

play01:15

as a marker of ability and the falsely

play01:19

confident can fool them especially if

play01:22

they're young and naive and so

play01:24

well so let's say you're not going to be

play01:27

a narcissistic psychopath which is often

play01:29

what those like manosphere dating sites

play01:33

teach you is like you know wear an

play01:35

expensive watch and peacock a bit into

play01:38

peacock is to wear something some item

play01:41

of clothing that's you know a little bit

play01:43

out of the ordinary something a little

play01:44

bit more colorful than might be

play01:46

generally the case so that you look like

play01:48

you're confident enough to pull that off

play01:50

with Panache but mostly it's just it's

play01:53

just training in a kind of deceptive

play01:55

narcissism now you know a Wallflower

play02:00

guy might benefit from some training in

play02:04

in narcissistic psychopathy you know

play02:07

just to sort of balance them out a bit

play02:10

so you can make some progress forward

play02:13

that's why people like Andrew Tate are

play02:15

so popular and and I I'm not saying that

play02:18

in an entirely dismissive manner but

play02:21

there's a huge danger there but

play02:23

generally what women want is something

play02:25

like confident productive generosity

play02:29

fundamentally and so you know if that's

play02:31

allied with physical attractiveness and

play02:34

a sense of humor and you know the the

play02:36

sorts of features that a man would also

play02:38

look for in a woman so much the better

play02:39

but your basic bet and not my suspicions

play02:43

are the guy who answered this question

play02:45

is probably young first of all no one

play02:47

likes young men so if they don't women

play02:49

don't like you it's like well that's par

play02:51

for the course who likes young men no

play02:52

one why well they're basically

play02:54

Troublesome and useless and so that's

play02:56

why

play02:56

[Laughter]

play02:59

foreign

play03:00

so cross-culturally women like men who

play03:02

are about four years older than them and

play03:04

the reason for that is you know women

play03:06

are more vulnerable on the sexual front

play03:08

and they have to make themselves even

play03:10

more vulnerable if they have children

play03:12

especially when the children are infants

play03:14

and so they're looking for guys who are

play03:16

competent enough to be able to take care

play03:19

of themselves at least and then have

play03:23

enough left over for a wife and a

play03:26

dependent child and not because exactly

play03:28

because the wife wants to be taken care

play03:30

of because it isn't exactly like women

play03:32

want to be taken care of it's more

play03:35

reciprocal relationship but if a woman

play03:37

has a dependent child then both of them

play03:39

have to be taken care of especially when

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the child's an infant and so women tilt

play03:44

the scales toward assessment of men on

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the grounds of their competent

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generosity and the reason and you know

play03:51

men might be annoyed about that but I

play03:54

would say well if you were a woman you

play03:55

do the same thing and

play03:57

you know how I know that it's because

play03:59

women are female humans and so if you

play04:03

were a woman you'd be just like a woman

play04:06

so because that's what that's what a

play04:07

woman is right so

play04:10

you can't blame women it's like

play04:12

clue in there buddy if all women don't

play04:16

like you it's you

play04:19

and that's you know that's so annoying

play04:22

it's especially if you're young because

play04:25

most women aren't going to like you and

play04:27

so and it is you so you have to grow up

play04:30

and but then you know you got to

play04:32

understand that if you make yourself

play04:34

competent and productive and generous

play04:36

and a little bit socially skilled and

play04:38

reasonably clean eventually you know

play04:41

you'll fool someone and then

play04:45

foreign

play04:46

and then you know might take a few years

play04:49

but but generally it happens so so

play04:52

that's the thing is don't you know don't

play04:54

don't be a fool turn yourself into

play04:56

someone who's worth being around and

play05:00

and then develop enough social skills so

play05:02

you advertise yourself

play05:04

genuinely because you know it's not also

play05:06

useful if you're a man to be competent

play05:09

productive and generous and then so

play05:11

timid and socially unskilled that no one

play05:13

can tell that's also not helpful

play05:16

Engineers do that all the time so my

play05:19

friend Jim he's my brother-in-law he's a

play05:21

great engineer he said Engineers are the

play05:23

only men who never figured out how to

play05:25

turn social status in demating

play05:27

opportunities

play05:29

that's such a funny line it's also true

play05:33

you know what I'm going to tell you a

play05:35

story about him too I was with him and a

play05:37

friend of mine who's also an engineer in

play05:38

a bar in Palo Alto in California it was

play05:41

so damn funny it was a wine bar a pretty

play05:43

sophisticated place you know and uh I

play05:46

was sitting there talking to them and

play05:47

they're both high-end engineers and like

play05:49

super bright people and but they're

play05:51

engineers and so and there was this

play05:54

quite attractive woman there about our

play05:57

age this was like 15 years ago and she

play06:00

was a teacher I she she tried to get

play06:03

herself integrated into the conversation

play06:05

and

play06:06

um

play06:07

and she was a teacher and and she lived

play06:10

in in Palo Alto and she was clearly

play06:12

there alone and wanted some company and

play06:15

um

play06:15

so funny because this poor girl she's

play06:17

trying to get into the conversation and

play06:19

she she was listening then she'd offer

play06:21

an opinion she was trying to play along

play06:22

and those bloody Engineers they just

play06:24

told her like five ways she was wrong

play06:25

and then kept on talking to each other

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and it's like

play06:30

it's so funny then she'd look kind of a

play06:33

bashed you know and and and and out of

play06:35

place and then she'd muster up some

play06:37

courage a little farther down the

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conversation and uh she'd offer an

play06:41

opinion and then they'd tell her just

play06:43

like Engineers no this you're wrong and

play06:45

here's five reasons why and it's like

play06:47

then she could I thought I she

play06:49

eventually you know

play06:51

laughed surprise surprise and I pointed

play06:54

out to them what they had done and like

play06:56

these are pretty sophisticated guys but

play06:58

it was just so goddamn comical to watch

play07:00

I could hardly stand it's like you

play07:01

bloody Engineers you wonder why you know

play07:04

it's hard for you to mate

play07:06

[Laughter]

play07:08

this is really funny so yeah so look if

play07:12

you're young if you're a young guy it's

play07:13

like straighten yourself up you know

play07:15

don't be eating you know Cheetos in the

play07:18

basement covering yourself with orange

play07:20

dust and being bitter about women it's

play07:22

like go out there and make yourself

play07:24

useful in some Dimension or rather and

play07:27

you know fortify yourself a bit and have

play07:30

some confidence and then figure out how

play07:31

to present yourself in a manner

play07:33

commensurate with that and you know get

play07:35

out there in the world so people can see

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you now and then and you know some poor

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woman will be desperate enough to give

play07:41

you a shot at some point

play07:42

[Applause]

play07:45

hmm

play07:46

all right that's how I caught her you

play07:49

know

play07:50

actually that's a lie too because she

play07:52

actually caught me so

play07:55

all right

play07:57

yeah I chased her for a long time and

play08:00

then she caught me yeah

play08:03

okay

play08:05

before I say something else

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Related Tags
Social SkillsConfidenceHygieneNarcissismDating AdviceGender DynamicsPersonal GrowthEngineering HumorSelf-ImprovementCommunication