How women TRAIN men to be ANGRY: don't reward what you don't want

Summary

Dr. Orion terban explores the inadvertent ways women may train men to become angry in relationships. He shares personal anecdotes to illustrate how persistent lack of communication can lead to escalated anger. Terban emphasizes the importance of listening and respecting each other's boundaries to avoid unnecessary conflict. He advises that ignoring a man's reasonable requests can lead to three outcomes: anger escalation, internal collapse, or leaving the relationship. The talk encourages both parties to communicate effectively and respect each other's needs to maintain a healthy relationship.

Takeaways

• 😶 Men often feel unheard in relationships and may resort to anger as a last resort to be acknowledged.
• 🔊 The speaker suggests that women may inadvertently train men to be angry by not responding to non-aggressive communication attempts.
• 👂 It's important for women to listen and validate men's concerns to avoid unnecessary escalation of conflict.
• 🤔 The speaker shares a personal anecdote to illustrate how repeated unsuccessful attempts at communication can lead to anger.
• 💔 Ignoring or invalidating a man's attempts to communicate can lead to a breakdown in the relationship and the man becoming an 'angry' person.
• 🚫 The speaker advises women to avoid putting men in double binds where they feel they must fight to protect their relationship but end up fighting the woman.
• 🔄 There are three potential outcomes for men who feel unheard: escalation to anger, internal collapse, or leaving the relationship.
• 🙅‍♀️ Women should not expect men to cater to their every desire, but they should respect men's boundaries and listen to reasonable requests.
• 👥 The speaker emphasizes mutual respect in communication as key to maintaining a healthy relationship.
• 💬 The script encourages open discussion and reflection on the topic, inviting listeners to share their own experiences in the comments.
• 👍 The speaker promotes the idea of learning from personal experiences and offering advice to others to prevent similar relationship issues.

Q & A

What is the main topic discussed by Dr. Orion terban in this talk?

The main topic discussed by Dr. Orion terban is how women inadvertently train men to become angry in relationships.

Why does Dr. Orion terban find the process of women training men to be angry tragic and ironic?

He finds it tragic and ironic because most women find male anger terrifying and would not prefer to be in the presence of it, yet their actions contribute to its development.

According to Dr. Orion terban, what is the role of men in this process of being trained to be angry?

Men also have a share of responsibility as they inadvertently allow themselves to be trained in this way.

What does Dr. Orion terban suggest is the first step in resolving issues in a relationship before resorting to anger?

He suggests that men should attempt to communicate their concerns clearly and effectively using various strategies and psychological tactics.

In Dr. Orion terban's personal anecdote, what was the turning point that led him to realize the relationship was not healthy?

The turning point was when he lost his temper and yelled at his partner, and for the first time, she changed her behavior, making him realize that he was being trained to be angry to be heard.

Why did Dr. Orion terban decide to leave the relationship he described in the script?

He decided to leave because he realized that if he had to continue being angry and aggressive to be heard, he would eventually become a defeated shell of his former self.

What are the three possible outcomes for a man when he feels unheard in a relationship, according to Dr. Orion terban?

The three possible outcomes are: escalating to anger and aggression, collapsing internally to protect himself from pain, or leaving the relationship.

What advice does Dr. Orion terban give to women regarding how to handle disagreements with men in their lives?

He advises women to take respectful requests from men seriously, rectify problematic behavior quickly, and ensure disagreements do not leave men feeling invalidated or disrespected.

What does Dr. Orion terban suggest is the best move for men when dealing with women who do not respect their boundaries or listen to their reasonable requests?

He suggests that the best move for men is to exit the relationship as quickly and graciously as possible.

How does Dr. Orion terban encourage the audience to engage with the content of his talk?

He encourages the audience to share the episode with others who might benefit, like the episode, subscribe to the channel, and consider becoming a channel member for perks.