Trump Signs Order to Make Showers Great Again, Admits Fear of a Depression Led to Tariff Pause

Summary

In this comedic monologue, the host humorously covers a range of topics, including President Trump's upcoming physical exam, his eccentric responses to health questions, and his new executive order on showerheads. The skit also delves into recent product recalls, including faulty Audi and Volvo cars, and cheese recalls, blending them with light-hearted banter. DJ Sweatlodge adds energy with a Coachella hype-man segment, and the show wraps with a quirky mention of KFC's fried-chicken flavored toothpaste. The host brings in humor through satirical takes on politics, pop culture, and consumer news, making for a lively and entertaining night.

Takeaways

• 😀 President Trump is excited for his annual physical and humorously discusses his health with exaggerated claims.
• 😀 Trump suggests a perfectly idealized weight of 175 lbs and 2% body fat, demonstrating his typical bravado.
• 😀 A humorous exchange occurs during a cognitive test where Trump struggles to recall simple words.
• 😀 Trump's doctor is humorously named 'Doctor Hannibal Lecter' in the skit.
• 😀 Elon Musk is chosen as Trump's emergency contact, reflecting his affinity for Tesla.
• 😀 Trump signs an executive order to improve showerheads, adding a humorous twist that the nozzles are made in China.
• 😀 A joke is made about Trump’s preference for strong showers over dealing with complex political matters.
• 😀 A recall for Audi and Volvo cars is humorously handled, with a mix-up in the reporting of various product recalls, including cheese and car seats.
• 😀 Tariq Trotter humorously reacts to the various recalls, including his frustration over a lack of cheddar-flavored Johnsonville bratwursts.
• 😀 Coachella hype man DJ Sweatlodge brings humor to the show with a lively, sarcastic crowd-pumping routine centered around parking fees and drink costs.
• 😀 KFC introduces a fried chicken-flavored toothpaste, adding to the absurdity of the segment, which Trump is humorously linked to through his executive orders.

Q & A

What health checkup is President Trump getting in the script?

President Trump is getting his annual physical, which includes a variety of health-related tests.

What humorous exaggeration does Trump make about his physical health?

Trump humorously claims that he is a 'perfect physical specimen' and very 'very young.'

What is Trump's response when asked about his prostate exam?

Trump responds that the experience will involve 'wailing and shrieking,' making it a humorous exaggeration of the situation.

How does Trump perform on the cognitive test in the script?

Trump struggles with the cognitive test, providing incorrect answers like 'bacon, ham, apples' when asked to recall 'giraffe, whale, shark' and failing the backward counting test.

What is Trump's emergency contact in the script?

Trump lists Elon Musk as his emergency contact, stating, 'I love Tesler!'

What is Trump's executive order related to in the script?

Trump signs an executive order to 'make America's showers great again,' aiming to allow more powerful showerheads with unrestricted water flow.

How does Trump describe his current showering situation?

Trump humorously describes needing to stand under the shower for 15 minutes before he gets wet, attributing this to his excessive use of bronzer that makes him 'waterproof.'

What is the joke about Trump’s new tariff pause?

Trump pauses all of his new tariffs out of fear of causing a depression, but humorously claims that if a depression does occur, it will be 'the Greatest Depression,' greater than the Great Depression.

What are the issues mentioned with Audi and Volvo cars?

Audi is recalling over 44,000 vehicles due to a software issue, while Volvo is recalling hybrid vehicles due to a potential battery fire risk.

What is the humorous take on the KFC fried-chicken flavored toothpaste?

The script humorously suggests that the KFC fried-chicken flavored toothpaste was a result of Trump's executive orders after the showerhead initiative, with the toothpaste selling out immediately.