WOMEN will use your impatience against you when dating - My UNTOLD STORY (I was so BROKEN as a man)
Summary
TLDRIn this video, the speaker shares his personal experience of heartbreak and the lessons learned from it, focusing on the importance of patience in dating. He explains that women often test men's impatience and availability, using it against them to gauge their desirability. The speaker emphasizes the concept of 'pre-selection', where women are attracted to men who are already desired by others. He advises men to imitate the behavior of a pre-selected man, not showing desperation or excessive eagerness, to increase their attractiveness in the dating scene.
Takeaways
- π The speaker emphasizes the transformative power of heartbreak in shaping a man's approach to dating and personal growth.
- π€ He discusses the importance of understanding 'hypergamy' and 'pre-selection' in the context of female attraction and dating strategies.
- π The speaker recounts a personal experience of severe heartbreak, which led to significant personal changes and insights into dating dynamics.
- π« The video suggests avoiding behaviors that signal impatience or desperation in dating, as these can detract from a man's perceived value.
- π The concept of 'impatient' dating is presented as a common mistake that can lead to a loss of attraction and interest from women.
- π₯ The speaker highlights the idea that women are often attracted to men who appear to be pre-selected by other women, indicating high social value.
- π The script underlines the importance of learning from past mistakes in dating and using those lessons to improve one's dating approach.
- π€³ The speaker advises minimizing the frequency of communication with a romantic interest to avoid appearing overly eager or 'thirsty'.
- π He makes a metaphorical connection between tending one's own 'garden' (personal life and goals) and maintaining high value in the eyes of potential partners.
- π The video suggests that a man's perceived sexual market value can fluctuate based on his behavior and how he is perceived in relation to other women.
- π€ The speaker calls for a sense of community and shared learning among men to improve collective understanding and success in dating.
Q & A
What is the main lesson the speaker learned from his past heartbreaks?
-The main lesson the speaker learned from his heartbreaks is the importance of not showing impatience and maintaining a sense of pre-selection in dating, which means appearing to have other options and not being overly eager or needy.
What does the speaker mean by 'pre-selected man' in the context of dating?
-A 'pre-selected man' refers to a man who is perceived as desirable by other women, which makes him more attractive to the woman he is interested in. It's about demonstrating high value and being in demand.
Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of not texting back super fast or giving too much attention to women?
-The speaker emphasizes this because it can signal a lack of other options and a high level of neediness, which can decrease a man's attractiveness in the eyes of a woman.
What is the speaker's view on how heartbreaks shape a man?
-The speaker believes that heartbreaks are transformative experiences that force a man to redefine and reinvent himself, ultimately making him stronger and wiser in the realm of dating and relationships.
How does the speaker describe the process of a woman testing a man's patience in the context of dating?
-The speaker describes it as women intentionally delaying responses or making a man wait to see if he has other options, thereby testing if he can walk away and is not overly invested in her.
What is the significance of the speaker's reference to Adam and Eve in explaining his dating philosophy?
-The reference to Adam and Eve is used to illustrate the idea that a man should focus on his own 'garden,' or life mission and interests, rather than centering his life around a woman, which can lead to disqualification in her eyes.
Why does the speaker suggest that women are attracted to men who have other women interested in them?
-The speaker suggests this because it demonstrates pre-selection, which is a strong indicator of a man's value and attractiveness, making him more desirable to women.
What is the speaker's advice on how to handle a situation where a woman cancels a date?
-The speaker advises to respond casually and without showing any sign of disappointment or neediness, effectively communicating that the man is not overly invested in the outcome of the date.
How does the speaker define 'hypergamy' in the context of dating?
-In the context of dating, 'hypergamy' refers to the tendency of women to seek out and be attracted to men of higher social status or perceived value, which can be demonstrated through pre-selection and not being overly eager.
What is the speaker's view on the importance of a man maintaining his own interests and not making a woman the center of his focus?
-The speaker believes that maintaining one's own interests and not making a woman the center of focus is crucial for maintaining attraction and not appearing needy or desperate.
Outlines
π Overcoming Heartbreak and Learning from Mistakes
The speaker begins by sharing a personal story of heartbreak from a past relationship, which he describes as the worst experience of his life. He explains how this painful experience led to significant personal growth and transformation. The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding certain dating principles, such as not giving too much attention to women and the concept of hypergamy, which he learned through repeated mistakes. He suggests that enduring such heartbreaks is what shapes a man and leads to self-improvement and a deeper understanding of women's behavior in dating.
π€ Understanding Women's Attraction and the Role of Pre-Selection
The speaker delves into the concept of pre-selection and how it affects women's attraction. He explains that women are drawn to men who are already desired by other women, which is a form of pre-selection. He discusses the importance of patience in dating and how his impatience in a past relationship led to a loss of attraction. The speaker suggests that women test men to see if they have other options and the ability to walk away, which is why they may delay responses or create distance. He encourages men to imitate the behavior of a pre-selected man by not appearing overly eager or thirsty for a woman's attention.
π° The Slow Build-up of Women's Attraction and the Importance of Patience
The speaker discusses the different paces at which men and women experience attraction, likening a man's attraction to a light switch and a woman's to a slow turn dial. He emphasizes that women's attraction builds over time and requires proof of a man's value and pre-selection. The speaker shares his realization that wanting to see a woman too soon can diminish a man's attractiveness and suggests that women are often more attracted to men who do not give them much attention. He advises men to be patient and not to rush the dating process, as this is key to demonstrating pre-selection and maintaining attraction.
π Emulating a Pre-Selected Man and the Power of Self-Focus
In the final paragraph, the speaker concludes with his insights on how to effectively date by emulating a pre-selected man. He stresses the importance of focusing on one's own life, interests, and 'tending to one's garden,' using the biblical reference to Adam and Eve to illustrate the point. The speaker explains that when a man makes a woman the center of his world, he loses his attractiveness. Instead, he should continue to pursue his own goals and interests, showing that he is not dependent on a woman's validation. This approach, he argues, will make a man more attractive to women as it demonstrates high value and pre-selection.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Impatience
π‘Heartbreak
π‘Hypergamy
π‘Pre-selection
π‘Sexual Market Value
π‘Attraction Mechanisms
π‘Community
π‘Dating Dynamics
π‘Thirsty
π‘Tending Your Garden
π‘Imitating Pre-selected Behavior
Highlights
The speaker emphasizes the importance of learning from past dating mistakes to improve one's dating approach.
Heartbreaks are described as transformative experiences that shape a man's understanding of dating dynamics.
The concept of 'hypergamy' is introduced, suggesting women are attracted to men who are pre-selected by others.
The speaker shares a personal story of heartbreak to illustrate the depth of emotional investment in relationships.
The idea that women may use a man's impatience against him in dating is discussed, highlighting the need for patience.
The speaker explains how expressing eagerness to see a woman can lead to a loss of attraction.
The notion that women are attracted to men who appear to have other options is explored.
The importance of 'pre-selection' in dating is underscored, as it is a key factor in female attraction.
The speaker discusses the idea that women may want to 'share' a man, contradicting common perceptions of jealousy.
The concept of 'sexual market value' is introduced to explain discrepancies in attraction.
The speaker suggests that men should imitate the behavior of pre-selected men to increase their attractiveness.
The importance of not being 'thirsty' or overly eager in dating is highlighted to maintain attraction.
The speaker explains how women test men to see if they have other options, using time delays as a strategy.
The idea that women are attracted to men who focus on their own lives and interests is presented.
The speaker advises minimizing texting and calling to appear less needy and more attractive.
The concept of 'tending your own garden' as a metaphor for focusing on personal growth and interests is introduced.
The speaker concludes by emphasizing the need for men to come together and share knowledge to improve dating outcomes.
Transcripts
so I titled this video expect women to
use your impatience against you when
dating and I'm going to tell you a
little story so years ago I was dating
this woman and I went through like
probably the worst heartbreak of my life
so what happened was like this
heartbreak when I tell you like how bad
this actually was see that's the funny
thing too like a lot of you guys think I
just say these topics like you know
don't give women a lot of attention or
you probably shouldn't be you know
texting back super fast or you need to
understand how to satisfy hypergamy or
things like women only want a man who's
pre-selected by other women the reason
why all of these things are so important
is because I know what to do because
I've already made every mistake in the
book 10 times over 50 times over 100
times over that hurts so bad it made me
into who I am today so here's you have
to understand I was dating this woman a
few years ago and when we separated it
was lit Lally the worst experience of my
life like tons of things happen I could
not eat I could not sleep I lost
probably 15 lbs she was literally all I
thought about for probably a year
straight um it gets really bad like it's
like her whole face and her whole smile
the image of her was just like
completely burned into my head meaning
like at night I would even have dreams
about her like that's literally all I
would think about um the scent of her
perfume I would like remember it from
from time to time or if it was like on
my couch or things like that I just
remember like
um it was so miserable because when I
would go to bed at night it was the only
thing I would think about was her and
how she looked how she sounded how she
would smile um and then when I would
wake up in the morning it would be the
first thought that would go through my
brain so when I tell you like it hurts
so bad like I couldn't eat I couldn't
sleep I couldn't think I couldn't
focus and it's those types of
heartbreaks that make you into a man
like it's not until you run across a
woman like that where you go she's
different oh I can drop my guard or
she's different or oh I can treat her
really nice or I can uh wear my heart or
my sleeve or you know show her how I
feel or any of that stuff that you think
that you can do when you meet the one or
the right girlfriend or you meet that
one person you start to do a lot of the
things that you know you shouldn't
because you think that that person's
different and then you slowly realize
she's a woman too and she has all the
same female nature hard wirings too and
just because you thought you had
chemistry just because you thought you
had a personal connection just because
you thought that that was your person
you realize in a quick hurry that it
isn't and that the rules still apply to
no matter who you are and the rules
still apply to how she's going to
operate no matter who she is so it's the
heartbreaks that make the man okay
whenever anybody online tells you oh men
are made through suffering and sacrifice
and trials and tribulation they're not
men are made through heartbreak that is
how you redefine yourself that's how you
reinvent yourself because a woman will
tell you in a quick hurry what's good
about you and what's bad about you so
here's what I can tell you you need to
always expect women to use your
impatience against you when dating so
here's what I mean by that so at the
time me and uh my girlfriend were dating
and I thought that everything was
perfect and then she went on like a 2
and 1/2 week long vacation and obviously
since I was young since I was very naive
she was all I was thinking about and I
couldn't wait to see her and I ver realz
this and I told her this through text
message and I made all of the mistakes
that you've made and I've made all the
mistakes that you've made 150 times over
which is why every single time I go out
on my marker board and I show you
exactly what to do it's because I
already know what not to do because it's
not until you lose 15 lbs because you
can't eat it's not until you have to
take you know some sort of uh you know
like sleep aid or something to even get
a few hours nights rest because you
literally can't sleep because she's all
you think about it's not until you go
through that that you actually
understand what I'm saying and you
actually realize that it's true and you
actually take everything that I teach
you on those markerboard videos to heart
you actually internalize it instead of
just looking at it as some concept that
goes in one ear and out the other like
it takes the pain before you start to
change so my girlfriend at the time went
on this big 2 and 1/2 week long vacation
I didn't see her I was super excited to
see her so I text her and I'm like hey I
can't wait to see you or you know you
should come hang out or let's go grab
food or something like that and then
instantly I could feel her pull back and
then instantly I could feel like after
she got home like I wasn't the first
person that she communicated with and
then I was super confused which at the
time made me only pursue more and call
her and be like hey why didn't you
message me or hey you know why don't we
go meet up I haven't seen you only to be
hit with another you know text message
or her saying something along the lines
of like you know I I really like you and
you're really great but this just isn't
for me and I've been thinking a lot
about this and I don't know if you're
for me or not and I'm sitting there
scratching my head thinking well how
could I not be for you like look at all
this time we spent together look at all
these amazing experiences we've had
together and then you start to
understand that a woman's idea and
preconceived notion of Love is
completely different than yours so
that's why I make these videos okay is
to spread these concepts with you guys
because inside of headman Nation when I
created that this past you know week we
finally released it and men are actually
going through this understanding the
language of women seeing this in real
time play out for themselves the reason
why I made this is because I'm only one
man if I make these videos
yeah I can touch a certain amount of
people but it's going to take us as a
community it's going to take us as a
Brotherhood to actually grow this
movement and to make this into something
real which is why I made this so keep
that in mind because here's what I can
tell you the longer you date the more
you realize that women actually want to
share a guy so I'm going to tie this
into the title in just a second because
the title that I told you was expect
women to use your impatience against you
when dating keep this in mind where was
my impatience at where was I not patient
I wasn't patient in letting her come to
me
I wasn't patient in letting her reach
out to come and see me when she got home
from vacation so if you see me looking
down I do have some notes so here's what
I can tell you the longer you date the
more you realize that women want to
actually share a guy or at least that's
what they respond to okay so they might
yell and scream at the top of their
lungs and say I don't want that or
you're making me so pissed off but what
you're going to notice is they keep
coming back to the guy who has multiple
women so when you kind of realize this
and you start to date long enough and
you piece this together for yourself and
you're like wo guys who have multiple
girlfriends get all of the love from the
women guys who see multiple women also
have women pursuing them and they just
keep coming to you you start to see that
a lot of the things that you find that
are attraction mechanisms such as like
looks money or
status those are only preliminary
attraction mechanisms that you're
wanting to Aid in the one big attraction
mechanism which is pre-selection so it
doesn't matter how many other attraction
mechanisms you have working in your
favor women are always going to
gravitate toward a pre-selected man
because what you see is women respond to
a man who already has women and the
reason why I'm telling you that is
because the longer you date the more you
realize that women want to actually
share a guy or at least that's what they
respond to so keep this in mind the
longer you date you figure this out so I
figured out that attraction to women all
it is is just a discrepancy in sexual
market value that means she views your
sexual market value up here and she
finds yours to be higher than hers the
second that this Dynamic shifts and she
feels like her discrepancy in sexual
market value is above yours or she feels
like her dating market value is above
yours now she feels like she's above you
now she looks down on you now hypergamy
is not satisfied and now she exits so
this is super important to realize
because this is female attraction in a
nutshell and this took me 10 years to
figure out which is why which is why I
created this community which is why I
know that if we all come together we can
actually start to shift the way that
majority of men are looking at dating
which is leaving them heartbroken and
lonely and not having a Brotherhood to
connect with which is ultimately the
most important reason why I made this is
because we as men instead of competing
for once in our lives we have to
actually come together nobody is saying
this it's always his status versus your
status and it's a constant competition
if we come together we actually change
the dating Dynamic and we change the
dating game this is why this is so
important to me this is why I've made
2,000 videos on this channel keep this
in mind what you're doing at all times
when you're dating women the second
thing that I wrote down is you're trying
to imitate a pre-selected man so what do
I mean by imitate a pre-selected man the
reason why women know how to use your
impatience against you is because what
they're doing is they're testing to see
if you have other options and if you're
able to walk away from them so the thing
is is what they're doing is they
understand that most men are thirsty
most men don't have a lot of options and
they understand that most men have a
high sex drive so because of that what
they do is they use long time delays she
will take 48 hours to not reply to you
she will take 5 days to not open your
direct message on social media she will
take 6 hours to not call you back
because she wants to see that you can
sit tight she wants to see that you can
sit patient because she's hoping that
you have other options what she's
actually hoping for deep down is that
there's a different girl that you'll
just go take out and you'll see and
you'll go take out on a date because you
have the option and the
availability to do so what she's hoping
for is you're pre-selected what she's
hoping for is that you have other
options what she's hoping for is that at
the end of the day you can replace her
with a woman who is at her current level
of attractiveness or higher so this is
very important this is why you need to
expect women to use your impatience
against you so when you're very eager to
take them out on a date interest test
failed when you're very eager to see
them even if it's your long-term
girlfriend I don't care if you think you
have chemistry I don't care I don't care
if you think you're in a relationship I
don't care if you think that you know
her expect her to try to use that
against you because she knows you want
to see her the second she knows you want
to see her is the second she doesn't
want to see you that is the game in a
nutshell so when you're not patient that
equals no options and it took me a long
time to realize this it took me a long
time to realize that a man's attraction
mechanisms like here's what I mean
you're going to hear this from other
content creators they will tell you a
man's attraction is like a light switch
and it just goes on a woman's attraction
is like a slow turn dial that takes very
long to warm up I didn't realize how
deep that
goes that goes so much deeper than you
realize when I say it's a slow turn dial
it's not a slow turn dial of Attraction
within 20 to 30 minutes or a couple
hours I'm talking days weeks and months
of proving to that woman that you have
survival value and proving to that woman
that you are who you say you are which
is leading to pre-selection it takes
days and weeks and months of her seeing
that you're
not thirsty of her seeing that you
are patient and her seeing that you can
generate other options and you're not
eager to see her as soon as you're eager
to see her she knows that her beauty
holds weight and holds power over you
and that instantly disqualifies you from
being with her so this is how they
operate okay so the fourth thing that I
started to realize is you wanting to see
her in the first place loses pull in
hypergamy so when hypergamy is satisfied
she keeps coming back to you when
hypergamy is satisfied she keeps wanting
to see you when hypergamy is satisfied
she keeps wanting to actually go out
with you and she desires to have those
intimate experiences with you but the
problem is is most men don't understand
that women respond to a guy who has
other options and most men actually
don't understand that they want to share
a man and that this is what they
actually respond to you could have all
the looks all the money all the status
in the world you could have all of that
going for for you she will drop all
those guys at the drop of a hat just for
the hopes of getting with a man that
other women want and that is female
attraction you can't change that that is
Mother Nature so when you start to see
this for what it is you wanting to see
her in the first place loses Pole or
loses weight in hypergamy and the fifth
thing that I started to realize was she
wants the one guy not giving her any
attention so here's what I could tell
you a woman could have a 100,000
followers on social media she could have
every guy in her inbox and these guys
could be musicians these guys could be
professional athletes these guys could
be uh big business Bankers whatever the
case may be I don't know whatever
whatever High status situation you can
put yourself in but the one or two guys
that maybe are friends with her on
social media or they follow each other
or the one or two guys that maybe don't
even follow her at
all those are the men who she's thinking
about those are the men whose attraction
she's trying to win over those are the
men who she would actually like to go
out on a date with they want what they
can't have because her not being able to
have that man signals potential
pre-selection so you can always expect
women to use your impatience against you
when dating the second you reach out to
her the second you actually want her the
second you want to set a date with her
even if she's your girlfriend is the
second that you lose and they start to
lose desire and I actually truly believe
they wish it wasn't like that I wish or
I actually think that they
see this for what it is and they can't
help it either okay so she wants the one
guy not giving her any attention so I'm
going to show you how my game has
changed over the years I text as little
as possible I literally text message as
little as possible I make as few phone
calls as humanly possible if I'm seeing
a woman or we've went out on a few dates
there's a girl right now who I've went
out on three dates with over the past
probably 3 months maybe even getting
closer to four we've been out on three
dates when we see each other we still
talk occasionally maybe I'll reach out
to her to set a date occasionally maybe
she will reach out to me but that's how
you have to run this that's how you have
to pursue this that's how you have to
actually take this is slow because a
woman's attraction to a man is slow
because what you have to understand is
they are optimizing for survival so how
do you show survival value and
pre-selection to a woman you do it by
not being thirsty and not wanting them
you wanting them is why you lose so it's
very hard for women to find a true
pre-selected man like the chances of a
woman actually running into a celebrity
that has tens of thousands or hundreds
of thousands of women after him
virtually impossible I mean nowadays
it's a little bit easier but the amount
of women who actually have access to
that type of guy is like slim to none so
what do you have to do as a man you have
to imitate a pre-selected man so inside
of the language of women which is my
brand new you know kind of of even
product or mentorship that I have inside
of the headman Nation Community for all
of you guys and here's what I came to
terms with and here's what I realize at
every step of the dating interaction
when it comes to front end game
okay middle game and backend game front
end game is the first piece of
Attraction the first interaction when
you guys first meet middle game is the
first one to three dates and backend
game is everything that happens in a
long-term relationship that is the
language of women and what you're doing
through the whole sequence is are
imitating the movements of a
pre-selected man and I show you how to
do this because this has taken me dozens
and dozens and dozens even hundreds of
dates this has taken me 10 years to put
together I put my all into this because
it has literally taken me that long
because of all the Heartbreak all of the
hardship all of the suffering everything
that I had to go through I want to
spread this with as many men as humanly
possible so that way you guys don't have
to go through the same things that I had
to go through that is why I made all of
this and that is why I put all of this
together so let me give you some
examples I reach out as little as
possible as soon as I start to see that
a woman has some kind of attachment
towards me or really likes me I stop
reaching out completely why because I
translate everything this is the main
thing that I came to terms with I
translate everything to the story of
Adam and Eve Adam was instructed or at
least this is how the story goes to tend
to his
garden what does that mean that means
he's to focus on his mission and his
task okay but he didn't do that that
instead what he did was he started to
give his attention and his time to her
and then everything goes to so when
I started to put two and two together
that's what I realize it's the woman who
wants to come to the man it's the woman
who wants to reach out to the man it's
the woman needing to seek emotional
reassurance from the man the second you
as a guy stop tending your garden which
for you could be your mission in life
your purpose in life your career your
plans your hobbies your interests your
friends the second you stop tending that
garden and the second you start start
making her the center of your focus
you're reaching out to her you're trying
to set dates you care if she responds or
not that is a second you're disqualified
so if a woman can't find a pre-selected
man visibly in front of her such as a
celebrity her next best option is to
find a man who has strength
characteristics that replicate a man of
pre-selection which means that what you
can expect is you can expect women to
use your impatience against you so what
they're doing is they're going to see
how needy you are you're going to ask
her to set a date she's going to say yes
and then pull it away there was just a
girl who I texted a couple days ago to
set up a date and then what happened was
instantly she says oh actually I have
this this and this going on instead of
me saying Oh but you already committed
instead of me trying to set another date
I said no worries I go play it by year
and maybe we'll both meet up in the
future and she Hearts the message and
then a couple days later she she reaches
out to me why because she needs proof
she needs proof that I'm not thirsty she
needs proof that I don't need her she
needs proof that I don't even care if I
see her or not women want a man that
that tend to their own garden they want
a man who stays true to their own
purpose they want a man whose focus is
not her because what she wants to see is
that her beauty holds no weight over you
because what you're doing then is you're
imitating a pre-selected man so if you
can imagine this imagine you're a
celebrity imagine it's a thousand years
ago and you're King of the land imagine
it's a million years ago and you're King
of the land and you have a million women
who all want you would that man be eager
to set up a date would that man be eager
to take her to dinner would that man be
eager to even hopefully you know would
that man be eager to even hope that
things go to an intimate level no he
actually wouldn't care that's why she
wants him
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