Why Did They Have to Die? | Why Me? | EP. 19 | Dr. Omar Suleiman | A Ramadan Series on Qadar

Summary

This script reflects on the emotional journey of grief, drawing from Islamic teachings, including the Hadith Qudsi and examples from the life of Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu 'Alaihi Wasallam). It explores the complexities of loss, patience, and acceptance, highlighting the spiritual benefits of doing good deeds for the deceased. The narrative also emphasizes how grief can strengthen one’s connection with Allah, offering guidance on how to cope through acts of charity, remembrance, and support for others. Ultimately, it teaches that grief, though painful, can be transformative and lead to spiritual elevation.

Takeaways

• 😀 Allah expresses in a Hadith Qudsi that He hesitates to take the soul of a faithful servant because of their aversion to death and His desire to avoid disappointing them.
• 😀 The grief of losing loved ones can feel overwhelming, but death may also deepen the emotional connection we have with them, and our deeds for them can continue after their passing.
• 😀 The Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) exemplified how to grieve, showing both deep mercy (rahmah) and contentment (rida) in the face of loss.
• 😀 There are different levels of grieving and acceptance of Allah’s decree, ranging from profound mercy and contentment to grief and resentment.
• 😀 The Prophet Muhammad's reaction to the death of his son Ibrahim shows a perfect balance of tears for the loss, while still accepting Allah’s will without complaint.
• 😀 Imam Ibn Taymiyyah highlighted that while others may not visibly grieve, the Prophet’s response to loss was superior because it maintained both mercy and acceptance.
• 😀 Grieving is an important process for those left behind, and while it may seem painful, it is an opportunity to continue doing good deeds for the deceased and honor their memory.
• 😀 Supporting others who are grieving can help both the grieving individual and the ones they support heal, as shared grief fosters a deeper sense of connection and community.
• 😀 Death serves as a teacher, revealing hidden qualities, deeds, and struggles of those who have passed, and offers a chance to reflect on the responsibilities we inherit from them.
• 😀 Allah rewards those who patiently endure the death of loved ones, with the promise of Jannah for those who remain patient with His divine decree.

Q & A

What does the Hadith Qudsi quoted in the transcript convey about Allah's hesitation in taking the soul of a faithful servant?

The Hadith Qudsi mentions that Allah does not hesitate about anything as much as He hesitates about taking the soul of a faithful servant. This is because the servant dislikes death, and Allah hates to disappoint them. It highlights Allah's mercy and compassion toward His believers.

How can a person's connection with the deceased be stronger after their death, according to the transcript?

The transcript explains that the connection with the deceased can sometimes feel stronger after their death because, after they pass, we can perform good deeds on their behalf, which are more beneficial to them than anything we could have done while they were alive.

What is the significance of the Prophet Muhammad's (SallAllahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) personal experiences with death?

The Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) experienced the loss of several close family members, including his mother, father, wife, and children. His grief, despite knowing their fate, was profound and deeply human. His response to loss serves as a model for how to balance grief with submission to Allah's will.

What is the concept of 'rida' and 'rahmah' as explained by Imam ibn al-Qayim in the transcript?

'Rida' refers to contentment with Allah's decree, and 'rahmah' refers to mercy. Imam ibn al-Qayim explains that the highest rank is when a person possesses both rida and rahmah, meaning they grieve with mercy but are content with Allah's will. Lower levels involve different combinations of these emotions.

How does the response of Fudayl ibn 'Iyad to the death of his son differ from that of the Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu 'Alaihi Wasallam)?

Fudayl ibn 'Iyad did not express grief outwardly when his son died, choosing instead to show acceptance of Allah's decree with a smile. In contrast, the Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) cried when his son Ibrahim passed but maintained both grief and contentment with Allah’s will, showing a perfect balance of mercy and submission.

What is the role of a janazah (funeral) in the grieving process, according to the transcript?

The janazah serves as a reminder for the living of the inevitable nature of death and the reality that the deceased can no longer perform deeds for themselves. It is a moment for the living to reflect on their own actions and the legacy they continue for the deceased.

How can grieving individuals benefit the deceased after their passing?

Grieving individuals can benefit the deceased by continuing to perform good deeds on their behalf, such as making du'a (prayers) and giving charity. These acts keep the deceased's good deeds active and continue to benefit them even after their death.

What is the connection between helping others grieve and healing oneself, as described in the transcript?

Helping others who are grieving can be a source of healing for the one who is grieving. By supporting others in their grief, Allah may ease the individual's own pain and elevate their status, showing that acts of kindness and empathy can be a path to personal healing.

What does the transcript suggest about the role of memories after someone’s death?

The transcript suggests that memories of the deceased can serve both as reminders to not forget them and as gifts to help the living cope with their loss. By cherishing these memories, the living can continue to honor the deceased and strengthen their connection with them.

How does the concept of patience in grief relate to earning Jannah, according to the transcript?

The transcript highlights a hadith qudsi in which Allah promises Jannah as a reward for those who are patient in the face of the death of a loved one. This patience is a form of submission to Allah’s decree, and the person’s love for Allah and restraint in their grief can lead to spiritual rewards.