What men DON'T UNDERSTAND about FEMALE SELECTION: what being high-value does and does not get you

Summary

Dr. Orion Taraban discusses the concept of hypergamy in female mating and dating behavior, addressing common misconceptions among men. He explains that hypergamy primarily benefits men, not women, and meeting women's selection criteria does not guarantee sexual opportunity. The talk also highlights the importance of understanding and navigating the complexities of female selection.

Takeaways

• 😀 Hypergamy is a significant concept in female sexual selection, influencing the tendency to choose partners with higher status, wealth, and physical attributes.
• 😐 There is a common misunderstanding among men about hypergamy, leading to discouragement or a belief that meeting certain criteria will guarantee sexual opportunity.
• 😔 Many men feel discouraged upon learning about female selection criteria, believing they cannot compete or that the effort is not worth the potential reward.
• 😡 The script challenges the notion that men should 'man up' and pursue relationships despite the odds, suggesting this is an unfair expectation.
• 💪 The real payoff of aligning with hypergamous criteria is personal growth and prosperity, not just the benefits one might provide to a partner.
• 🤔 Men often misinterpret the purpose of hypergamy, thinking it primarily benefits women, when in fact it is more about the man's own development and status.
• 🔥 A subset of men becomes energized by the idea of hypergamy, seeing it as a 'game' to be won by meeting certain criteria, which can be a positive but potentially deceptive perspective.
• 🚫 The belief that meeting hypergamous criteria will automatically result in sexual opportunity is a misconception; women's preferences are more complex and personal.
• 🤷‍♂️ Meeting women's hypergamous criteria is necessary but not sufficient for sexual opportunity; individual attraction and personal connection are also crucial.
• 💡 The script suggests that focusing on personal development and understanding the nuances of attraction is more important than simply trying to meet superficial criteria.
• 🏆 The ultimate message is that personal growth and understanding the complexities of human connection are more valuable than superficial achievements in the pursuit of relationships.

Q & A

What is the main topic of Dr. Orion Taraban's talk?

The main topic of Dr. Orion Taraban's talk is the concept of hypergamy in female selection and how men misunderstand it.

What has contributed to the increased awareness about female mating and dating behavior?

The internet has contributed to an explosion of awareness on female mating and dating behavior, providing more information than was available even 10 years ago.

What is hypergamy and why is it important to understand?

Hypergamy is the tendency to mate and date up, choosing partners who are taller, stronger, richer, and of higher status. It influences almost every aspect of female sexual selection and has significant downstream consequences.

What are the two common misunderstandings about hypergamy among men?

The two common misunderstandings are: 1) Men thinking that they need to be in the top 10 percent to attract women and that the effort might not be worth it, and 2) Men believing that meeting women's hypergamous criteria guarantees sexual opportunity.

Why do some men feel discouraged upon learning about women's sexual selection criteria?

Some men feel discouraged because they believe that they cannot meet the criteria of being in the top 10 percent and that even if they could, the effort might not be worth the potential rewards.

What is the real payoff for men who align with the criteria of hypergamy?

The real payoff is not just about providing security and material resources to women, but about the personal growth and prosperity that men gain in the process of becoming a top 10 percent man.

What is the misconception about the relationship between meeting hypergamous criteria and sexual opportunity?

The misconception is that meeting hypergamous criteria guarantees sexual opportunity. In reality, these criteria are necessary but not sufficient conditions for sexual opportunity.

Why do some men get energized by the idea of hypergamy?

Some men see hypergamy as a path forward, believing that by meeting women's selection preferences, they can 'hack the game' and improve their chances in mating and dating.

What is the role of attraction proxies in the context of hypergamy?

Attraction proxies are markers of a high-status man, but having them does not make it easy with women. Men still have to approach, make an effort, and seduce effectively.

What is the final outcome of both misconceptions about hypergamy?

Both misconceptions generally motivate men to walk away from women, which is a trend that is increasingly observed today.