How to be confident without success: be your own prophet
Summary
TLDRLe Dr Orion Taban explore dans ce court discours comment développer la confiance sans succès tangible. Il définit la confiance comme une expérience constante de succès et suggère que cette confiance peut être sentie sans preuves tangibles, en adoptant une attitude positive et en se concentrant sur un avenir visionnaire. Il utilise l'exemple du temps grammatical appelé 'temps parfait prophétique' pour illustrer comment penser à nos actions futures comme si elles étaient déjà accomplies. Le Dr Taban encourage à répondre aux doutes en se concentrant sur la réussite future, ce qui peut aider à surmonter les défis au début d'une entreprise ou d'une nouvelle entreprise.
Takeaways
- 😌 La confiance est définie comme une expérience ressentie de succès constant.
- 🗣️ L'avis d'Alex Horoi suggère que la confiance vient de preuves indéniables de qui vous êtes, plutôt que de répétitions d'affirmations devant un miroir.
- 🔬 Il est nécessaire d'intégrer le succès émotionnellement pour ressentir la confiance, même si l'on a des preuves de succès.
- 🤔 Il peut être difficile de développer la confiance sans succès préalable, ce qui crée un paradoxe pour les débutants.
- 💪 Il est possible de ressentir une certaine confiance sans preuve de succès, en utilisant des techniques mentales.
- 🧘♂️ La confiance peut être renforcée en limitant l'analyse excessive qui conduit à l'analyse paralysante et à l'auto-doute.
- 🤷♂️ Il est conseillé d'assumer que l'on peut réaliser quelque chose, même sans preuve, jusqu'à preuve du contraire.
- 🤔 Pour se sentir confiant sans preuve, il peut être nécessaire de désactiver certaines parties de l'esprit et de laisser d'autres prendre le devant.
- 🗣️ Le 'temps prophétique parfait' est une façon de parler de l'avenir comme s'il était déjà arrivé, reflétant une vision certaine de ce que l'on veut accomplir.
- 🎭 L'exemple du promoteur de festival illustre comment créer de la confiance en commençant par rien et en construisant progressivement.
- 🌟 Il est important d'avoir une vision claire et extrapolée de l'avenir pour faciliter la confiance et le succès, même au début.
Q & A
Qu'est-ce que Dr Orion Taban définit comme la confiance ?
-Dr Orion Taban définit la confiance comme l'expérience ressentie de manière constante du succès.
Quel est le lien entre la définition de la confiance et la preuve indéniable selon Alex Horoi ?
-Alex Horoi soutient que la confiance ne se construit pas en criant des affirmations devant un miroir, mais en accumulant des preuves indéniables de qui vous êtes, ce qui correspond à un ensemble de succès constant.
Pourquoi est-il important d'intégrer le succès émotionnellement, selon Dr Orion Taban ?
-Il est important d'intégrer le succès émotionnellement parce que certaines personnes, malgré avoir des preuves de succès, ne ressentent pas l'empathie émotionnelle de cette preuve, qui est la confiance.
Quel est le problème que Dr Orion Taban aborde lorsqu'il s'agit de développer la confiance sans succès ?
-Il souligne le problème du double bind où l'on a besoin de la confiance pour réussir quelque chose, mais on a besoin de réussir quelque chose pour se sentir confiant, ce qui crée un cercle vicieux difficile à rompre.
Pourquoi le début est-il toujours le plus difficile, selon Dr Orion Taban ?
-Le début est le plus difficile car c'est la phase la plus défiante et les débutants sont souvent les moins capables de répondre efficacement à ces défis.
Quelle est la 'confiance psychotique' que Dr Orion Taban mentionne avoir eu dans sa jeunesse ?
-La 'confiance psychotique' est une confiance excessive et irréaliste dans sa propre capacité à réussir, malgré de nombreuses échecs.
Pourquoi est-il parfois adaptatif de limiter la réflexion avant de prendre une action risquée ?
-Il est adaptatif de limiter la réflexion pour éviter la paralysie de l'analyse et l'auto-doute qui peuvent saper la capacité à agir avec confiance, surtout lorsqu'une action risquée est nécessaire pour éviter une inaction encore plus risquée.
Quel conseil donne Dr Orion Taban pour assumer qu'on peut réaliser quelque chose sans preuve à l'appui ?
-Il conseille d'assumer qu'on peut réaliser quelque chose, en se basant sur l'absence de preuve contraire, et de découvrir par la suite si cette hypothèse était vraie ou fausse.
Quel est le tense grammatical 'prophétique parfait' mentionné par Dr Orion Taban et comment est-il utilisé ?
-Le tense grammatical 'prophétique parfait' est utilisé pour décrire des événements futurs si certains qu'ils sont mentionnés à la forme passée comme s'ils étaient déjà arrivés. Il est souvent utilisé dans les textes religieux.
Comment Dr Orion Taban suggère-t-il de répondre aux doutes envers la réussite potentielle ?
-Il suggère de répondre aux doutes en utilisant une vision extrapolée de l'avenir, en prenant des actions qui supposent déjà le succès, tout en utilisant des formulations qui ne sont pas des mensonges.
Quelle stratégie Dr Orion Taban compare-t-il à celle d'un promoteur de festival de musique ?
-Il compare la stratégie de répondre aux doutes et de créer de la confiance à celle d'un promoteur de festival de musique qui doit convaincre des artistes de participer à un festival qui n'existe pas encore.
Outlines
😀 Comment devenir confiant sans succès
Dr Orion Taban aborde la question de la confiance en soi sans succès, en soulignant que la confiance est souvent perçue comme une expérience de succès constante. Il mentionne la définition d'Alex Horoi, qui soutient que la confiance est acquise à travers des preuves incontestables de qui nous sommes. Cependant, Taban insiste sur l'importance d'intégrer ces succès émotionnellement. Il reconnaît le défi des débutants, qui se trouvent dans une situation où la confiance et l'action se nécessitent mutuellement. Il suggère de développer une sorte de confiance en soi, même sans ces preuves, en utilisant une approche mentale qui implique de croire en sa capacité à réussir malgré les échecs.
🤔 La 'confidence psychotique' et l'analyse paradoxale
Dans ce paragraphe, Taban partage son expérience personnelle d'une 'confidence psychotique', une confiance en soi excessive malgré de nombreuses échecs. Il discute de l'importance de ne pas toujours analyser les choses en profondeur, car cela peut conduire à une paralysie de l'analyse et à un doute de soi. Il recommande de limiter la réflexion avant de prendre des risques, en se concentrant sur la capacité à trouver une solution plutôt que sur les obstacles potentiels. Il encourage à croire en sa capacité à réussir, en utilisant la notion de 'prophetic perfect tense' pour parler de futurs événements avec certitude, comme s'ils étaient déjà arrivés.
🎭 Utiliser la vision extrinsèque pour surmonter le doute
Taban poursuit avec une analogie de l'organisation d'un festival de musique, où il est crucial de faire preuve de confiance malgré l'absence de preuves concrètes. Il suggère de répondre aux doutes de manière à prétendre déjà au succès, en utilisant des déclarations qui ne sont pas des mensonges, mais qui ne révèlent pas la vérité non plus. Cette approche permet de créer une dynamique positive qui peut aider à attirer les opportunités et à surmonter les obstacles initiaux. Il conclut en soulignant que ces techniques mentales sont utiles au début, mais deviennent inutiles une fois que l'on a commencé à réussir réellement.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Confiance
💡Expérience du succès
💡Analyse paralysante
💡Vision extrapolée
💡Prophétique parfait
💡Auto-doute
💡Présomption de réussite
💡Promoteur
💡Cerveau sélectif
💡Incipient
Highlights
Dr Orion Taban discusses how to be confident without success.
Confidence is defined as the consistent felt experience of success.
Alex Horoi's definition: Confidence comes from having undeniable proof of one's abilities.
Success needs to be integrated emotionally to feel confident.
The paradox of needing confidence to succeed and needing success to feel confident.
The difficulty of the initial phase in gaining confidence, action, employment, dating, or fitness.
Beginners often struggle to effectively respond to challenges due to lack of experience.
To gain confidence, one must take action, even before feeling authentically confident.
Dr Taban's personal experience of having 'psychotic confidence' despite frequent failures.
The importance of not overthinking to avoid analysis paralysis and self-doubt.
Advice to assume one can do something until proven otherwise.
The concept of selectively turning off certain parts of the mind to feel confident.
The idea that confidence can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The explanation of the 'prophetic perfect tense' and its relation to confidence.
Using mental gymnastics to feel confident without a track record of success.
The analogy of promoting a music festival to illustrate building confidence step by step.
Strategies for responding to self-doubt by assuming success.
The importance of having a compelling vision for the future to facilitate this process.
Once initial success is achieved, these mental tricks are no longer necessary.
Transcripts
I'm Dr Orion taban and this is psyx
Better Living Through psychology and the
topic of today's short talk is how to be
confident without success so I've talked
about confidence a number of times on
this channel my working definition of
confidence is that it is the consistent
felt experience of success this
dovetails nicely with another definition
I heard recently from Alex horoi he says
you don't become Confident by shouting
affirmations in the mirror correct
but by having a stack of undeniable
proof that you are who you say you are
so a stack of proof is consistent
success right that said I would say that
as a final step it is necessary to
integrate that success emotionally this
is because I know and have worked with
plenty of people who have a good deal of
proof but because of where they're
focused they don't yet feel the
emotional correlate of that proof which
is confidence so that's what I would add
Heros definition but it's a very good
definition nonetheless that said I can
imagine some people out there rolling
their eyes at these definitions why well
if I need confidence in order to do the
thing and I need to do the thing in
order to feel confident then how am I
ever going to feel confident right it's
sort of like the problem we all
experience when we first enter into the
job market like I'd like one job please
what is your experience well I don't
have experience that's why I need the
job I'm sorry but we're only hiring
people with experience like you see it's
this weird double bind and unfortunately
it's always hardest at the beginning
whether we're talking about confident
action or employment or dating or
Fitness like the incipient phase is
always the most challenging and this is
unfortunate because beginners are
typically the least able to respond
effectively to these
challenges however there's really no way
around this problem if you want to be
confident then you have to do the thing
which means that you're likely going to
have to do the thing before you feel
authentically confident and it is
possible to feel a kind of confidence
without that stack of proof or that
consistent experience of success it
might not be fully developed authentic
confidence but it will kind of have to
do for the time being it does require a
bit of mental gymnastics to accomplish
but in my opinion it's worth doing at
least as a stop Gap
solution back when I was an adolescent
and a young adult I had like this
psychotic confidence in my own ability
to succeed and I call this psychotic
because I actually failed a lot of the
time however on some level I just never
really considered that it wouldn't work
out
and frankly that might be a consequence
of not really thinking some things
through like there is a time to think
things through and there is a time not
to think things through why because the
more you think the more you're subject
to analysis paralysis and the more you
open the door to self-doubt which will
undermine your capacity for confident
action when you need to do something a
little risky especially if you need to
do something a little risky in order to
avoid an in action that is even riskier
it can be really adaptive to limit the
amount of forethought you're willing to
entertain like put yourself in the
situation and trust that you'll find a
way to make it work because on some
level if you need to you will so in the
absence of any evidence to the contrary
my advice is to just assume that you can
do it like you'll find out soon enough
whether that was true if it was great
you did it and if it wasn't well I guess
that was a learning experience wasn't it
but why not assume you can do the thing
until proven
otherwise now before I go any further if
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get back to it now to feel confident
before you have a stack of proof
sometimes requires selectively turning
off certain parts of your mind and
allowing other parts to come to the
Forefront and when I recently explained
this to a client in a consultation he
responded oh so you mean lie to yourself
and I can see where he's coming from
though I don't entirely agree my
response to that pushback was is it a
lie or is it just not true
yet like what temporal Horizon are you
operating under yes maybe you can't do
it in this exact moment but the
self-doubt that thinks that may not be
looking at the bigger picture if you
have a compelling and extrapolated
vision for your future and if you
believe that over a long enough timeline
you will either find a way or make a way
then on some level you've already done
the thing you just haven't done it
yet there's this fascinating grammatical
tense called the
prophetic perfect tense it's a verb
tense that is often used in religious
texts and it's used to describe events
that are so certain to happen that they
are referred to in the past tense as if
they already happened I'll say that
again the prophetic perfect tense
describes future events that are so
certain to happen that they are referred
to in the past tense as if they've
already happened so as an example of
that I could say something like after
listening to the next episode of psyx my
audience understood the nature of
confidence and went on to have happy
successful lives like I'm so certain
that this next episode will have helped
you that I'm already talking about the
outcome as if it's already happened does
that make sense so if language is a
reflection of our thought then the
prophetic perfect tense suggests that
there is a way of thinking about our
future action from even further in the
future and this is possible when we have
an extrapolated vision for what we want
to happen
this is sort of akin to being the
promoter for a music festival like
imagine you want to organize this
fantastic event where lots of people are
going to come together to enjoy some
phenomenal acts like that's your vision
of the future now if you already had a
big headliner on board it would be a
piece of cake to attract other bands but
let's assume that you don't let's assume
that you're right at the beginning and
you have nothing and no one how are you
going to be confident about making this
Festival a reality well you're going to
start picking up the phone opportuni
isn't going to come to you you got to go
to opportunity right the issue is that
when you call someone up and say hey I'm
a promoter for this festival and I'd
really like to book you for my event I
guarantee that the next thing out of
this person's mouth is going to be who
else is going to be there and this is
reasonable as who else is going to be
there is a metric for how big and
interesting this opportunity is now if
you respond nobody you're the first
person I'm even talking to it's like
click you're not GNA get anywhere with
that so while you shouldn't lie you also
can't really tell the truth so what do
you do you got to say something like
well the set list hasn't been finalized
yet not a lie you don't have a set list
yet and I can't actually disclose who
else is on board not a lie no one else
is on board so you can't disclose
something that doesn't exist but I will
tell you that we're exploring some very
exciting options not a lie you're
excited about talking to the person that
you're talking to options that you've
heard of not a lie the person you're
talking to has heard of him or herself
and things are really starting to come
together not a lie you did just start
you see talk like that and the other
person might at least stay on the line
now you call the next guy and when he
asks you who else is going to be there
you can answer well I'm currently in
discussions with the first person not a
lie you're now talking to this person
and when he responds yeah but did he
commit you can respond not yet but I
feel they're really close not a lie that
could be your feeling and if he says
yeah well let me know when they actually
commit you can call back the first
person and say hey I just got off the
phone with second person and he sounds
like he'd be on board if you're on board
what do you say not a lie you were just
talking to this person and you kind of
go back and forth and back and forth
until you get somebody to
commit and when you get one it will be
much easier to get two and then pretty
soon you'll be Off to the
Races the point is to kind of respond to
your self-doubt the way this
hypothetical promoter responded to the
push back he received until he
eventually got what he wanted you don't
have to lie to yourself but you do have
to respond to your doubts in a way that
kind of already assumes that you've
succeeded which as we've discussed is
possible using the thinking behind the
prophetic perfect tense and all of this
is facilitated by having a compelling
and extrapolated vision for the future
once you start to succeed you won't need
these mental tricks anymore but they're
really helpful when you're just getting
started hopefully that makes sense what
do you think does this fit with your own
experience let me know in the comment
section below and if you've gotten this
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