4 Things NOT to Say to Your Therapist

Summary

Therapy can be intimidating, but it's essential to be honest for it to work. This video outlines four key things you should never tell your therapist: lies, pretending to be okay when you're not, exaggerating struggles to continue therapy, and claiming a method works when it doesn't. It also highlights the importance of sharing thoughts of suicide or abuse, as these topics must be addressed for your safety. The video encourages transparency, explaining how therapists are there to support you and that therapy works best when you open up and trust the process.

Takeaways

• 😀 Therapy can be challenging because it involves opening up to a stranger, which can feel nerve-racking and stressful.
• 😀 Therapists are bound by confidentiality laws, meaning they cannot share anything you say unless there are specific circumstances such as threats of harm or abuse.
• 😀 Lying in therapy can hinder your progress and make the process less effective, so it’s important to be honest about what you're going through.
• 😀 It’s not helpful to pretend that you’re doing better than you are in therapy. Being honest about setbacks allows for better support and progress.
• 😀 Pretending to be worse off than you are can lead to therapists referring you for higher levels of care, which may not be necessary or helpful.
• 😀 Therapists cannot read your mind, so if you’re pretending to be better or worse than you are, it can lead to confusion and a mismatch in treatment.
• 😀 It's important to share openly if something isn't working in therapy, including feedback on advice or exercises given. Therapists are there to adjust and find what works for you.
• 😀 Therapy should be a collaborative effort. If you don’t feel comfortable trying something, let your therapist know so that alternative approaches can be explored.
• 😀 While being defensive or resistant can sometimes indicate an underlying issue, it’s normal to not agree with or like all the strategies your therapist suggests.
• 😀 If you’re struggling with thoughts of suicide or have experienced abuse, it’s crucial to share these with your therapist, even if it feels scary. A good therapist will guide you with safety plans and appropriate support.

Q & A

Why is it important to be honest with your therapist?

Being honest with your therapist is crucial because it allows them to effectively support you and tailor their approach to help you make progress. Lying or withholding information can hinder your therapy and make it less effective.

What are some common reasons people lie to their therapists?

People may lie to their therapists because they fear judgment, feel embarrassed, worry about upsetting their therapist, or are scared of abandonment. It's important to acknowledge these feelings, as they are part of the therapeutic process.

How does pretending to be better than you are affect therapy?

Pretending to be better than you actually are can lead to missed opportunities for effective support. It can slow down your progress and prevent your therapist from offering the appropriate help, wasting both time and resources.

Why do people sometimes pretend to be worse than they are in therapy?

Some people may pretend to be worse than they are to continue receiving help or to avoid the risk of being referred to a higher level of care, such as hospitalization. However, this often backfires and can lead to confusion about the actual progress being made.

What happens if someone pretends that a therapeutic approach is working when it isn’t?

Pretending that a therapeutic approach is working when it’s not can prevent the therapist from adjusting the treatment. It’s important to share honest feedback so your therapist can modify the plan to better meet your needs.

How can therapy be more effective if the patient is honest about their struggles?

Honesty about your struggles allows your therapist to offer relevant strategies, understand your difficulties more deeply, and help you find solutions that are aligned with your goals and reality, leading to more effective therapy.

What should you do if the therapist’s suggestions don’t resonate with you?

If you find that the therapist’s suggestions aren’t helpful or relevant, it’s essential to communicate this. A good therapist will work with you to modify the approach or explore other options that better suit your needs.

What is the significance of sharing thoughts of suicide with your therapist?

Sharing thoughts of suicide with your therapist is crucial because it enables them to assess the risk and create a safety plan. Therapists have protocols in place to ensure you are supported, which might include contacting others for additional help or referring you to a hospital if necessary.

How can patients prepare to discuss sensitive topics like suicidal thoughts or abuse with their therapist?

Patients can prepare by asking their therapist about confidentiality and when it might be broken, such as in the case of suicidal thoughts or abuse. Knowing the therapist’s protocol can make these difficult conversations feel safer and more manageable.

What role does the therapist’s approach play in helping patients open up about difficult subjects like abuse?

A therapist’s approach is essential in creating a safe and trusting environment where patients feel comfortable sharing difficult subjects like abuse. The therapist’s non-judgmental attitude and professionalism help patients feel supported in disclosing these sensitive topics.