Exercise - How to create commonalities

Summary

This video teaches an exercise for improving social skills by generating commonalities during conversations. By referencing personal experiences or similar situations, you can quickly establish a connection and create comfort, whether in business or casual settings. The exercise involves using random topics, elaborating on personal stories, and practicing in different scenarios—starting from text conversations to real-life interactions. The goal is to build faster, more natural social skills through consistent practice, leveraging neuroplasticity to make these connections instinctual and effortless over time.

Takeaways

• 😀 Start by generating random topics to practice commonalities in conversations.
• 😀 The goal of generating commonalities is to build connection and comfort quickly in social interactions.
• 😀 Commonalities are useful in various scenarios, such as business sales or casual conversations at a nightclub.
• 😀 This exercise helps to improve social skills over time by training your brain to become faster and more adaptive through neuroplasticity.
• 😀 Start practicing by using random word generators or observing your surroundings to get varied topics.
• 😀 It’s easier to practice commonalities in slow text conversations where you have time to think and analyze your responses.
• 😀 When you're more advanced, you can practice generating commonalities in faster-paced, real-time conversations.
• 😀 Reference personal experiences related to the random topic to make the connection more meaningful.
• 😀 If you lack direct experience with a topic, refer to experiences of others close to you or mention something similar to create a link.
• 😀 Practice daily for at least 5 minutes, making it a consistent habit, to improve social skills gradually over time.

Q & A

What is the main goal of the exercise discussed in the script?

The main goal of the exercise is to help individuals generate commonalities with others, fostering connection and comfort. This skill is useful in various situations, especially in business and social interactions, by allowing people to quickly build rapport.

Why is the ability to generate commonalities important in social situations?

Generating commonalities is important because it helps establish comfort and connection quickly, which is crucial in short time frames where you want to make an impression, such as in business meetings or casual encounters like at a nightclub.

What role does neuroplasticity play in improving social skills?

Neuroplasticity allows the brain to adapt and improve over time. As you practice exercises like generating commonalities, your brain becomes more efficient at recognizing opportunities for connection, making your social interactions faster and more natural.

How can practicing generating commonalities improve your social skills over time?

By practicing generating commonalities regularly, your brain becomes quicker at identifying connections with others. Over time, this makes socializing feel more effortless and instinctual, allowing you to engage with others confidently and naturally.

What is the first step in practicing the exercise?

The first step is to generate a list of random topics. These can be sourced from a random word generator, movies, or simply by observing your surroundings. The goal is to get a wide range of topics to work with.

What should you do after selecting a random topic?

After selecting a random topic, you should reflect on your own experiences related to that topic. This could include directly related experiences or something more loosely connected, such as mentioning a similar situation involving someone you know.

What is a key principle to remember when practicing generating commonalities?

A key principle is to reference genuine experiences, not fabricate stories. If you don’t have a direct experience with the topic, you can reference someone close to you who has or mention something tangentially related to maintain authenticity.

How can you practice this exercise in different formats or scenarios?

You can practice generating commonalities in various formats: first in slow text conversations where you have time to think, then in real-time discussions, and eventually in high-pressure situations. The goal is to gradually improve your speed and comfort with this skill.

What are some strategies for improving the speed and effectiveness of generating commonalities?

To improve speed, you should practice consistently, ideally every day for at least five minutes. Start by reflecting on past conversations, analyze them, and think of how you could have introduced commonalities. Gradually reduce the time it takes to generate connections until it becomes automatic.

What is the recommended amount of time to practice this exercise daily, and why?

The recommended practice time is at least five minutes per day. This is a manageable amount of time that anyone can fit into their day, and consistent practice, even in small increments, leads to more noticeable improvement than longer, less frequent sessions.