some things i've learned from being alone all the time

Summary

This transcript reflects on the challenges of loneliness and the difficulty of forming genuine friendships. The speaker shares personal experiences of struggling to connect with others throughout high school, university, and on social media. Despite these struggles, they embrace solitude as a means of personal growth, learning self-sufficiency, and finding contentment in their own company. The speaker emphasizes the value of appreciating small acts of kindness and genuine connections while accepting that loneliness is a natural part of life. The reflection concludes with a message about the importance of not taking real friendships for granted and the strength that comes from being alone.

Takeaways

• 😀 Struggled with loneliness throughout high school and middle school, often feeling disconnected from peers.
• 😀 Although there were people to rely on for help, the speaker lacked deep, meaningful friendships.
• 😀 Felt isolated even after moving to university, where it was hard to fit into pre-existing friend groups.
• 😀 Being alone allowed the speaker to develop independence, learning to enjoy solitary activities like studying and walking.
• 😀 Learned that being alone can help build personal resilience and self-reliance, as they had to figure things out on their own.
• 😀 Realized that not all friendships were genuine; some were more about having someone around than true connection.
• 😀 The speaker recognizes that sometimes people take friendships for granted, and they now appreciate the little things others do for them.
• 😀 Although they have struggled with loneliness, the speaker no longer depends on others for validation or happiness, learning to be content alone.
• 😀 The speaker hasn’t had many people outside of their family wish them well on their birthday for years, which deepened their sense of solitude.
• 😀 Emphasizes the importance of never taking genuine friendships for granted and cherishing those who truly support you.
• 😀 Concludes that being alone is a natural part of life and can be a healthy experience, offering valuable opportunities for self-growth.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the speaker's reflection in the transcript?

The main theme is the experience of loneliness, the struggle to make genuine friendships, and the personal growth that comes from spending time alone.

How did the speaker feel about their friendships in middle and high school?

The speaker felt that they never had a real group of friends they could rely on. While they had people to talk to, they struggled with finding true, meaningful connections.

Why did the speaker find it hard to make friends in university?

The speaker found it difficult to make friends in university because most people already had established friend groups, and it was challenging to fit in or find a sense of belonging.

How did being alone help the speaker develop independence?

Spending time alone helped the speaker realize that they couldn't always rely on others. They learned to figure things out on their own, growing more self-reliant and confident in their ability to handle challenges.

What did the speaker learn about friendships through their experiences?

The speaker learned that not all friendships are healthy, and sometimes it's better to be alone than to stay in relationships with people who are not genuinely supportive. They also realized the value of appreciating genuine connections when they do form.

What was the speaker’s experience with birthdays and why was it significant?

The speaker shared that for several years, no one outside their family wished them a happy birthday. This made them realize how often people take friendships for granted, but also helped them become content with being alone and not needing external validation.

How does the speaker view loneliness now, compared to before?

The speaker now sees loneliness as an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. They believe that while loneliness can be painful, it’s also a part of life that can teach resilience and help people connect more deeply with themselves.

What does the speaker believe about the importance of small gestures in friendships?

The speaker values small, genuine gestures in friendships, such as someone answering a call, showing up when needed, or doing something thoughtful. These actions mean a lot because the speaker has experienced how rare these moments can be.

What role did social media play in the speaker’s difficulties with friendships?

Social media exacerbated the speaker's struggles by creating a sense of isolation. They felt people didn’t want to associate with them, and the online world made it harder to form real, meaningful connections.

What message does the speaker offer about being alone and self-growth?

The speaker encourages people not to fear being alone, as it can lead to personal growth. Time alone allows for reflection, independence, and the development of a stronger sense of self.