7 Core Issues of Adoption

Summary

In this video, Stephanie Aye explores the seven core issues of adoption, as outlined by Silverstein and Kaplan in 1982 and updated by Rosia and Maxon in 2019. These issues include loss, rejection, shame and guilt, grief, identity, intimacy, and mastery and control. Stephanie delves into how these challenges affect all members of the adoption triad—birth families, adoptees, and adopting families—and emphasizes the emotional complexities adoption brings. Understanding these core issues can help individuals navigate the adoption process and offer support when facing difficulties related to these emotions.

Takeaways

• 😀 Adoption is a complex, bittersweet experience that impacts everyone in the adoption triad: birth families, adoptees, and adoptive parents.
• 😀 The 'Seven Core Issues of Adoption' were first introduced in 1982 by Silverstein and Kaplan and later updated in 2019 by Rosia and Maxon.
• 😀 The seven core issues of adoption include: loss, rejection, shame and guilt, grief, identity, intimacy, and mastery and control.
• 😀 Loss affects everyone involved in adoption: birth families lose the ability to raise their child, adoptees lose their birth family, and adoptive families often experience loss through infertility.
• 😀 Rejection is felt by birth families, adoptees, and adoptive parents. Birth families may feel rejected by society, adoptees often feel rejected by their birth families, and adoptive parents may fear rejection from their child.
• 😀 Shame and guilt are prevalent emotions, with birth families feeling guilt for placing a child for adoption, adoptees feeling guilt for being placed, and adoptive parents feeling shame for not conceiving biologically.
• 😀 Grief is another core issue, affecting all parties: birth families grieve the loss of raising their child, adoptees grieve the loss of their birth family, and adoptive parents may grieve not having a biological child.
• 😀 Identity struggles are common in adoption. Birth families may question their parental identity, adoptees may struggle with their genetic identity, and adoptive families might feel disconnected from being seen as the 'real' parents.
• 😀 Intimacy issues often arise for birth families, adoptees, and adoptive parents, due to the emotional impact of adoption and the feelings of rejection or grief.
• 😀 Mastery and control are significant issues in adoption. Birth families feel a lack of control over the adoption decision, adoptees have no control over their placement, and adoptive parents experience a lack of control throughout the adoption process.

Q & A

What are the Seven Core Issues of Adoption?

The Seven Core Issues of Adoption are: 1) Loss, 2) Rejection, 3) Shame and Guilt, 4) Grief, 5) Identity, 6) Intimacy, and 7) Mastery and Control.

How do the Seven Core Issues of Adoption impact birth parents?

Birth parents experience loss, rejection, shame and guilt, grief, and identity issues. They often feel the loss of raising their child, societal rejection, and may struggle with shame about their decision. Grief is common due to the separation from their child, and identity can be challenged as they navigate their relationship with the child they gave birth to.

How does adoption affect adoptees in terms of rejection?

Adoptees often feel rejected by their birth family, especially when placed for adoption. They may struggle with feelings of abandonment and not being good enough, believing that if they had been better children, they wouldn’t have been placed for adoption.

What role does shame and guilt play in adoption, and who experiences these feelings?

Shame and guilt affect birth parents, adoptees, and adoptive parents. Birth parents may feel ashamed of an unplanned pregnancy, adoptees may feel guilty about being placed, and adoptive parents may experience guilt for not having biological children.

What is the connection between grief and adoption?

Grief is a natural response for all parties in the adoption process. Birth parents grieve the loss of raising their child, adoptees grieve the loss of their birth family, and adoptive parents may grieve their inability to have biological children.

How can identity issues manifest for adoptive parents?

Adoptive parents may experience identity issues by struggling with the question of whether they are the 'real' parents. This can be especially true for those who went through infertility and adopted a child.

Why do adoptees struggle with intimacy after adoption?

Adoptees may struggle with intimacy due to early feelings of rejection and abandonment. The fear of being hurt or rejected again can impact their ability to form close, trusting relationships later in life.

How does mastery and control affect birth parents in adoption?

Birth parents may feel a loss of control in the situation, especially if the pregnancy was unplanned. They often feel as though the adoption decision is out of their control, leading to feelings of powerlessness.

What challenges do adoptive parents face with mastery and control?

Adoptive parents face a loss of control throughout the adoption process. From unpredictable timelines to uncertainty about whether a birth mother will choose to place her child with them, adoptive parents often feel they have little control over the outcome.

Why is understanding the Seven Core Issues important for everyone involved in adoption?

Understanding the Seven Core Issues of Adoption helps everyone involved—birth parents, adoptees, and adoptive parents—better understand the emotional complexities of adoption. It can promote empathy, reduce feelings of isolation, and encourage seeking support when needed.