How to be Interesting to Women 2 of 7

Summary

The speaker in the transcript discusses the importance of understanding the differences between men and women when it comes to interests and emotions. He emphasizes that while men may be interested in 'things', women are more interested in emotions and how they feel. The speaker shares personal anecdotes about his journey to discovering humor as a means to connect with women and make them feel positive emotions. He also explores the concept of providing women with a sense of safety and security, using examples like riding a motorcycle or watching a horror movie. The transcript concludes with advice on how to make a woman interested in you by being a consistent supplier of positive emotions and understanding the emotions she feels, thereby providing a sense of security and companionship.

Takeaways

• 😀 The speaker emphasizes the importance of making a woman interested in you as the first step in forming a romantic connection.
• 👦 The speaker critiques the idea that men and women are the same, suggesting that understanding their differences is key to successful interactions.
• 🧠 Men are described as being interested in 'interesting things', whereas women are said to be more focused on emotions and how situations make them feel.
• 👶 Scientific research by Simon Baron-Cohen is cited to support the idea that from a very young age, boys and girls show different interests, with boys being attracted to moving objects and girls to faces.
• 😂 The speaker shares his personal journey of discovering that humor was the key to making women interested in him, particularly when he was younger and more intimidating.
• 🎭 The use of self-deprecation in humor is highlighted as a way to make oneself less intimidating and to provide a positive emotional experience for women.
• 🏍️ Motorcycles and horror movies are given as examples of situations that provide a mix of excitement and safety, which are appealing to women on an emotional level.
• 🎨 A museum visit is suggested as an activity for a first date that can elicit aesthetic emotions, but it's important to focus on the emotional response to the art rather than factual information.
• 💡 The speaker advises that the first date is a 'tryout' to see if a man can provide what a woman is looking for in terms of emotional connection and security.
• 👫 The script suggests that women desire to feel understood and not alone in their emotions, and that a man who can provide emotional shelter and security is highly attractive.
• 💖 The overarching message is that understanding and providing for a woman's emotional needs is the key to making her interested in a man.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the video script?

The main topic of the video script is about how to be interesting to women, focusing on the importance of understanding and providing emotions rather than just talking about interesting things.

Why did the speaker feel the urge to both hug and slap the young man who commented on their post?

The speaker felt the urge to both hug and slap the young man because they empathized with his struggles with dating (hug), but also wanted to correct his misconceptions about what makes a woman interested (slap).

What is the speaker's view on the idea that men and women are the same?

The speaker disagrees with the idea that men and women are the same, arguing that men are interested in interesting things while women are more interested in emotions and how they feel.

According to the script, what is the fundamental difference between men and women's interests?

The fundamental difference, as stated in the script, is that men are more interested in things and interesting subjects, whereas women are more focused on emotions and how they feel.

Who is Simon Baron-Cohen and what did his research suggest about newborn babies?

Simon Baron-Cohen is a researcher in the UK who conducted experiments on newborn babies. His research suggested that day-old boys were more interested in moving objects, while day-old girls were more interested in faces, indicating innate differences in interests between the sexes.

What was the speaker's initial struggle with attracting girls when they were younger?

The speaker's initial struggle was being perceived as intimidating due to their size and intellectual conversations, which scared girls and made them less interested in being around them.

How did the speaker discover that being funny helped them attract girls?

The speaker discovered by chance at the age of 18 that making girls laugh was a key to attracting them and decided to focus on being consistently funny to connect with them.

What is the speaker's advice for a young man trying to make a woman interested in him?

The speaker advises that the young man should focus on providing positive emotions and making the woman feel good, rather than trying to impress her with interesting facts or things.

Why does the speaker suggest that taking a girl to a museum could be a good idea for a first date?

The speaker suggests that a museum can elicit aesthetic emotions, which can be shared between the couple. The focus should be on discussing the emotions evoked by the artwork rather than the factual history.

What is the speaker's view on the importance of providing safety and security to a woman?

The speaker believes that providing safety and security, along with positive emotions, is crucial in making a woman interested in a man. This can be achieved through shared experiences like watching a horror movie or riding a motorcycle.

What does the speaker mean by 'the secret of women'?

The 'secret of women' refers to the speaker's belief that women want to feel understood and not alone in their emotions. They seek a partner who can share and provide shelter from these emotions, offering a sense of security.

Outlines

00:00

😀 Engaging Women Through Emotion

The speaker introduces the second part of his series on how to be interesting to women, highlighting the importance of understanding that women are more interested in emotions than in interesting things. He recounts a comment from a young man who struggled to keep women interested during dates because he focused on discussing interesting topics rather than connecting on an emotional level. The speaker emphasizes that men and women have different interests and that understanding this difference is key to attracting women. He cites the work of Simon Baron-Cohen, who conducted experiments showing that even newborn boys and girls exhibit different interests, with boys preferring moving objects and girls preferring faces. The speaker advises that to be successful with women, one must provide and elicit emotions.

05:00

😄 Becoming a Provider of Positive Emotions

The speaker shares his personal experience of being unsuccessful with girls due to his intimidating size and intellectual conversations. At 18, he discovered that humor was the key to making girls like him. He explains how making girls laugh made him less intimidating and provided them with positive emotions, which in turn made them want to be around him. This increased his confidence, which was also attractive to them. The speaker further explains that the mechanics behind this involve providing a positive emotion (laughter) and a sense of safety and security. He draws parallels to other scenarios like riding motorcycles or watching horror movies, where the same principles apply: providing excitement and a sense of security.

10:01

🎨 Eliciting Emotions Through Shared Experiences

The speaker discusses the importance of providing emotions during a first date, using the example of visiting a museum. He suggests that the focus should not be on the factual information about the art but on the aesthetic emotions that the pieces evoke. The speaker advises that discussing the emotions that the art stirs in both the man and the woman can create a deeper connection. He emphasizes that women are interested in sharing and understanding the emotions that are elicited by experiences, rather than the details or history behind them.

15:02

👫 Understanding and Sharing Emotions for Connection

The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of understanding and sharing the emotions that women feel. He suggests that women perceive their emotions as unique and that this uniqueness can lead to feelings of loneliness. By acknowledging and resonating with these emotions, a man can provide a sense of safety and security that women seek. The speaker encapsulates the idea that if a man can connect with a woman on an emotional level and offer her a sense of security, he will be successful in attracting her interest.

Keywords

💡Emotions

Emotions refer to the complex psychological and physiological states that are often associated with feelings and behaviors. In the context of the video, the speaker emphasizes that women are more interested in emotions than in 'interesting things'. The speaker suggests that understanding and providing emotions is key to making a woman interested in a man. For example, the speaker mentions that making a woman laugh is a way to provide a positive emotion, which can make her feel good and want to be around the man who makes her laugh.

💡Interest

Interest in this video is portrayed as a state of wanting to know or learn more about something or someone. The main theme revolves around the idea that to attract a woman's interest, a man must focus on emotions rather than merely presenting interesting facts or objects. The speaker uses the term to highlight the difference in how men and women engage with the world, with men being more attracted to interesting things and women to the emotions those things evoke.

💡Self-deprecation

Self-deprecation is the act of making light of one's own abilities or character, often in a humorous way. The speaker shares his personal experience of using self-deprecation to make himself less intimidating to women and to make them laugh. This approach allowed him to connect with women on an emotional level, providing them with positive emotions and making them feel comfortable and interested in him.

💡Confidence

Confidence is a feeling of self-assurance that one can do something successfully. The video discusses how women are attracted to men who can provide a sense of confidence, especially when it comes to understanding and sharing their emotions. The speaker's use of humor to make himself less intimidating also boosted his own confidence, which in turn attracted women.

💡Aesthetic Emotion

Aesthetic emotion refers to the feelings and sensations that are evoked by the appreciation of beauty or art. The speaker uses the example of visiting a museum to illustrate how sharing aesthetic emotions can create a connection. Instead of focusing on the factual history of an artwork, the speaker suggests discussing the emotions that the artwork elicits, which can be a powerful way to engage with a woman.

💡Safety and Security

Safety and security are states of being 'safe' and 'secure', often emotionally as well as physically. The video suggests that providing a sense of safety and security is crucial in attracting a woman's interest. This is illustrated through examples like riding a motorcycle, where the woman feels secure holding onto the man, or watching a horror movie, where the man's presence provides a sense of security amidst the fear.

💡Uniqueness of Feelings

The uniqueness of feelings, as discussed in the video, is the idea that individuals perceive their emotional experiences as unique to themselves. The speaker mentions that women feel that their emotions are special and that this uniqueness can lead to feelings of loneliness. By acknowledging and sharing these emotions, a man can make a woman feel less alone and more connected.

💡First Date

A first date is the initial meeting between two people who are romantically interested in each other. In the video, the first date is described as a 'tryout' where a woman assesses whether a man can provide the emotions she is looking for. The speaker advises that the focus should be on providing positive emotions and a sense of safety and security during this initial encounter.

💡Humor

Humor is the quality of being amusing or funny. The speaker shares that using humor was a turning point in his ability to connect with women. By making women laugh, he was able to provide a positive emotion that made them feel good and want to be around him. Humor is presented as a powerful tool for creating an emotional connection.

💡Intimidation

Intimidation is the act of making someone feel afraid or nervous through the use of threats or sheer presence. In the context of the video, the speaker talks about how his size and intelligence initially intimidated women, making it difficult for them to feel comfortable around him. He later used humor and self-deprecation to counteract this intimidation and make emotional connections.

Highlights

The speaker introduces a series on how to be interesting to women, inspired by a comment from a young man struggling with dating.

The young man's approach of discussing interesting topics on dates was ineffective, leading to a need for a different strategy.

Making a woman interested in you is essential for any romantic relationship to progress.

The speaker refutes the idea that men and women are the same, emphasizing the importance of understanding gender differences in dating.

Men are said to be interested in interesting things, while women are more interested in emotions and how they feel.

Simon Baron-Cohen's research is cited as evidence that from a young age, boys and girls show different interests.

The speaker suggests that trying to impress women with interesting facts or stories is a common mistake made by men.

The key to attracting women is to be a supplier of emotions, particularly positive ones.

The speaker shares a personal story of how being funny helped him become more attractive to women.

Self-deprecation as a form of humor can make a man seem less intimidating and more approachable.

Making a woman laugh can increase her confidence in the man and vice versa, creating a positive feedback loop.

The speaker explains the appeal of motorcycles and horror movies as dating strategies, providing excitement and a sense of safety.

The importance of understanding the emotions women seek in a partner is emphasized for successful dating.

The first date is described as a tryout to see if a man can provide what a woman is looking for in a partner.

Taking a woman to a museum and discussing the emotions elicited by the artwork is suggested as a dating strategy.

Women desire to feel that their emotions are understood and shared, reducing feelings of loneliness.

Providing a sense of security and safety while experiencing emotions is key to making a woman interested.

Transcripts

uh

[Laughter]

[Applause]

so this is the second part of my series

uh about women and this is called how to

be interesting to women and it

originated from a comment in the comment

section of one of my posts i forget

which ones and it doesn't matter so

don't go looking for it this kid

the way he wrote his post his comment he

seemed like a nice young man he seemed

like a nice young man and he wrote a

comment and the comment made me want to

both just

like hug him and [ __ ] slap him you know

hug him like you know you poor guy and

[ __ ] slap him out of affection out of

affection mind you [ __ ] slap him

because he was doing it wrong right

he was saying how he would go out on

dates

with these women and consistently what

would happen was that

he would uh talk to them about

interesting things and then he'd run out

of interesting things to say and then

the date would sort of like deflate and

die and

he'd only have the one date with these

girls right

oh god it was just

i mean like i said i wanted to hug him

and slap him you know but

both emotions were out of affection

making a woman interested in you is

essential it's it's the first step if

she's not interested in you it ain't

gonna happen right

uh i don't think that this needs to be

explained or

i don't need to grind on about it but

you have to keep it in mind

if she is not interested in you

she is not going to want to be with you

therefore it is your task your mission

should you choose to accept it to make

the woman interested in you right right

now the problem is especially in this

day and age where people

say that men and women are the same and

you know equality ra ra and and tabula

rasa and all this other sjw [ __ ]

this lefty [ __ ] that men and women

are the same well men and women are not

the same

get that out of your head

the fact that people

have been convinced into thinking that

men and women are the same

is the source of the problem here

because you see

men

find things interesting

men are interested in interesting things

but women

women are interested in emotions

specifically they are interested in

their own emotions

how a person or a situation or a thing

makes them feel

you see the difference

you see a guy and most of my audience

are guys i mean like at least the

metrics say that 95 of my audiences guys

are just unsurprising right guys you

know if i were to talk to you and you're

a guy

well what are you going to talk to me

about i mean you'd probably tell me

about some story something that you read

you'll probably tell me about how you

write about some car

that is fueled by i don't know like ice

cream you tell me about a car that's

fueled by ice cream and you can talk to

me for three hours about that i'll be

[ __ ] fascinated you know i'll find it

really [ __ ] fascinating really

[ __ ] interesting and i want to know

all about the the car fueled by ice

cream you know i'll be interested in

[ __ ] like is it sherbet or or just you

know regular ice cream vanilla

strawberry chocolate which gives get

better gas mileage you know i'll be

interested in that [ __ ] right a girl

she's not going to be interested in that

she's going to be interested in feelings

in her own feelings

now the scientific proof of this has

just been done to death

i think his name is simon baron cohen

he's the cousin of the comedian sasha

baron cohen now this simon baron cohen

is like a big brain in the uk

and he did experiments he and his team

did experiments on newborn children

day-old babies

okay

the day-old boys were consistently

interested in things in moving things

and the day-old girls were consistently

interested in faces

that tells you all you need to know

the sexes are different their interests

are different

now you you're a young man you think

that you're going to be successful with

a girl because you talk about

interesting things no you're going to

fail you're going to fail miserably

because girls aren't interested in

interesting things

they're interested

in emotions

their emotions the emotions that you

make her feel

you see where i'm going here

you see more or less where this

conversation is headed

right

so in order to make the girl interested

in you which is what you want you have

to provide her

with emotions

you have to be her supplier of emotions

you have to be

a consistent supplier of positive

emotions that she will want to come back

to

you see what i'm saying

now in the previous post i told you how

when i was young when i was a teenager i

was just lousy with girls i just didn't

know what the hell i was doing i was a

disaster right

until i was 18

until by chance i discovered that if i

was funny

girls liked me

now let me go a little bit into detail

see at the time i was 18 and i was the

height i am now i'm six feet and i was a

fairly large guy i was a fairly large

guy and therefore a little bit

intimidating

the other thing i had going for me or

going against me was that i was

noticeably smart i mean just

very educated i read a lot

and i was just really smart and

sometimes my conversation was a little

too elevated because i was interested in

you know all sorts of weird [ __ ] right i

mean i was like reading james joyce when

i was 16 17 and i wanted to talk about

that and so it scared girls it

intimidated them

my size and my conversation intimidated

girls

and so they didn't want to be around me

and so i was a failure with girls right

until i was 18 like i told you i turned

18

and i discovered by happenstance as i

told you in the other video you can find

it right here

that um

i made some girls laugh and then i set

my mind to making them laugh

consistently because i realized that

making them laugh was how i get girls

at the time i didn't quite understand

the mechanics or the reasoning behind it

now of course i do okay it's been 30 32

years since since i discovered this

it took me 15 years to perfect my

technique if you will okay of how to get

girls and

what i was doing at the time which i

didn't realize but i realized now was

that i was providing an exceptionally

powerful and positive emotion to girls i

was making them laugh

and everybody likes to laugh it's fun to

laugh you feel good about yourself when

you're laughing and so you want to be

around the guy who's making you laugh

right

now my approach was self-deprecation

what i'd do is i'd make fun of myself

and that would make me less intimidating

okay as i made myself less intimidating

because i was making fun about myself

right i made girls feel positive and

also something else

i made them feel very confident in me

and therefore my own confidence rose

you see

because by making them laugh they wanted

to be around me they would call me up

and tell me you know invite me to the

parties or whatever was going on because

i would show up and make them laugh

you know i mean i got to a point where i

actually had like bits written out of

things that i would say to make them

laugh right and so i provide them with

this positive emotion and therefore they

wanted to be with me and because they

wanted to be with me i felt more

confident and this confidence

was something that they wanted to latch

on to

it took me several years

actually a couple of decades i guess but

i finally understood the the interplay

of emotions that's going on here you see

the girl wants to feel the positive

emotion but at the same time she wants

to feel confidence in the man who is

providing

that confident emotion

and it made me understand two things

motorcycles

and horror movies

let me explain

i've had motorcycles right what happens

when you have a motorcycle and a girl

well you get girls all the time if you

have a motorcycle right

you're riding the motorcycle and it's

exciting you're going fast right you're

going fast the wind is blowing your hair

all the rest of it right and the girl

she's right behind you right and right

behind you she's holding on for dear

life what are you providing her when

you're riding around in a motorcycle

one excitement because it's exciting to

go on a motorcycle and two

safety and security

she's holding on to you for dear life

and and you're of course are not letting

go of the more it's like you're not

crashing right so you are providing her

this sense of safety and security

excitement and safety and security and

she just lapse it up

what happens when you go to a horror

movie with a chick right you go to see

some horror movie whatever the [ __ ] the

horror movie is right you're watching i

don't know final destination five or

whatever the [ __ ] it is right now right

you're watching the horror movie and

what is she doing you're staring at the

screen

and she is grabbing your arm her nails

digging into the flesh of your upper arm

her face

like smushed into your armpit and and

sporadically looking at the screen

terrified or quote unquote terrified not

actually it's just a movie right

what are you providing her

you are providing her with the strong

adrenaline rush of the horror movie

and providing her with safety and

security of your arm

you see how it is you see how it works

that's what you're doing that's what she

wants

the safety and security of your presence

and the strong positive emotion that

you're providing

now you say to me that horror movie is a

negative emotion because it's scary it's

the adrenaline rush okay because a

horror movie is not real it's not a real

horror it's just make-believe and

everybody knows that okay

but during the two hours of the movie

that adrenaline rush that she's feeling

she feels good about it that's why

people go and see horror movies if they

didn't have that powerful

rush of adrenaline and they liked that

powerful rush of adrenaline horror

movies would not be a genre nobody would

go to see any you see what i mean

yeah of course so you're providing by

taking her to a horror movie you're

providing her with a powerful emotion

and the safety and security of your arm

you're riding around on a motorcycle and

you're providing the excitement of going

on a motorcycle and the safety and

security of holding on to your waste for

dear life

you see

you see how it is

and in these situations you don't have

to say a [ __ ] thing see

you don't have to tell her interesting

things as the young commenter had tried

to do and failed you know he'd try to

interest her in things

women are not interested in things

they're interested in emotions you

provide them

with the positive emotion of safety and

security that you provide

and you provide them with that powerful

adrenaline rush of riding a motorcycle

or or a horror movie or whatever you got

it made

you see

that's how it works

now the next post that i'm going to be

doing is about the first date but i'll

give you a little preview here because

see the first date or the first time you

go out with a woman however you want to

call it first date or hooking up or

hanging out whatever the [ __ ] right

whatever the [ __ ] you kids are calling

it nowadays right see

that first date is a tryout

it's a tryout to see if you

come across basically you as a guy you

provide the woman with what she's

looking for

are you going to provide her with what

she's looking for or not

that's the question at play in a first

date

now our young friend the the one i

described at the beginning of this post

he clearly failed because he was trying

to interest the woman in things and not

in emotions

now if he were to succeed and what i

would tell him and i'm telling you now

is you want to provide

and have a plan to provide that positive

emotion

now i've talked about horror movies and

i've talked about uh you know riding

around a motorcycle right or being funny

as the case that i was doing right but

there are other emotions powerful

emotions you see

very powerful emotions that on a first

date would be like just perfect just

spot on right

an example

um

take a girl to a museum

yeah you're a student museums are free

right you take her to a museum

especially when the pieces are really

good really strong pieces right

and you'd be surprised what an impact

that will have you see but here's the

key issue

see when you go to a museum

right and and i'm picking the museum

example for a specific reason then

you'll understand

see when you talk to the woman

about the pieces that you're both

experiencing you're both going to be

experiencing an aesthetic emotion right

okay so you don't talk to her about the

history of the piece

or or the name of the painter or any

[ __ ] like that

that's not what she's interested in

you know what she's interested in

she's interested in sharing the emotion

that is elicited in the piece

for instance you go to the louvre right

and you see i don't know uh um

the mona lisa you know the most cliched

painting ever but whatever

you

both contemplate the mona lisa

and she's not going to want to hear

about leonardo da vinci

she's not going to want to hear about

you know the the paintings he did and

the school he was in and how the medicis

paid for his paintings she doesn't care

about that what you know what she's

going to care about she's going to be

caring about

you telling her

i wonder what she was feeling

the mona lisa was feeling at the moment

that she was being painted

you know that smile what is she feeling

at that moment

because girls want feelings see and do

you know why because

girls

fundamentally

believe irrational though it may be

they feel that the emotions that they

are perceiving are unique

and that the uniqueness of their

feelings

makes them feel alone

now that of course you think about it

it's a little bit irrational right well

it's not a little bit irrational it's a

lot irrational but that's what women

feel

they feel that the emotions that they

are perceiving are unique to them and no

other person on the face of the earth

feels those emotions especially

loneliness

and because of these emotions

they are alone and they don't want to

feel alone

see that's why they want to be with a

guy

they want to be with a guy who feels the

emotions that they feel

and provides

shelter from these emotions safety and

security from these emotions

you see

that's the secret of women

now if you can provide this

if you can provide for them this feeling

that number one you feel and understand

the emotions that they are feeling and

number two

you can provide them with a shelter a

sense of security and safety

while in the grips of these emotions

you got it made

that's how you get a woman

to be interested in you

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Music]

you