How to be Seductive & Selective

Summary

In this empowering video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of self-worth, setting boundaries, and knowing your value in relationships. She discusses how men are drawn to women who are difficult to access, advocating for not settling for less than what you deserve. The speaker stresses the need for independent, self-sufficient partners, and the importance of real-life interactions over superficial texting. She also highlights the abundance of people in the world and encourages viewers to accept rejection gracefully, trusting that the right person will come along when the time is right.

Takeaways

• 😀 Men are naturally attracted to the challenge of pursuing someone who isn't easily available or accessible, making women who are harder to 'get' more desirable.
• 😀 Self-worth and boundaries are crucial in relationships. Women should not lower their standards to accommodate partners who do not meet them at the same level.
• 😀 It’s important to limit access to your time and energy. People need to provide real value to be in your life, and if they don’t, it’s okay to let them go.
• 😀 Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and clear communication of needs. Both partners should meet each other's standards and expectations.
• 😀 Setting boundaries and expecting a partner to meet your level of success and discipline, whether financial, personal, or emotional, is key to a healthy partnership.
• 😀 Modern texting culture is problematic, as it often prevents genuine connection. Face-to-face interactions are far more meaningful for truly getting to know someone.
• 😀 The speaker values independence and believes that both partners should have their own lives and successes before coming together. Dependency is discouraged.
• 😀 It’s important not to take it personally if someone isn’t interested in you. Not everyone will be attracted to you, and that’s okay. There is abundance in the world.
• 😀 Women should never engage in 'builder work' for a partner, meaning they shouldn't have to 'fix' someone else or support them financially or emotionally if they are not equally independent.
• 😀 Respect for personal time and energy is crucial. The speaker expresses frustration with constant texting and prefers quality time together over superficial digital communication.

Q & A

Why do men often pursue women who are harder to get?

Men are often attracted to the challenge of pursuing someone who is not easily accessible. This desire to chase something difficult or 'forbidden' stems from a natural instinct to seek what is not readily available, often finding it more rewarding when they succeed.

What does it mean to 'limit access' in relationships?

Limiting access in relationships means setting clear boundaries and not allowing others to take advantage of your time or energy. By only allowing people who meet your standards into your life, you maintain control over the type of relationships you cultivate.

How can self-worth affect relationships?

Self-worth plays a crucial role in relationships because when you recognize and value yourself, you are less likely to settle for less than you deserve. People who understand their worth will not tolerate disrespect and will communicate their needs, ensuring they are met by their partner.

Why is it important to avoid 'projects' in relationships?

Avoiding 'projects' means not trying to change or fix someone in a relationship. The idea is that you should not invest your time or energy in someone who isn't already at a similar level of growth or self-sufficiency. A successful relationship should be based on mutual support, not on one person trying to build the other up.

What is the role of discipline in a healthy relationship?

Discipline is important in a relationship because it reflects a person's ability to manage their own life and priorities. A partner who is disciplined, whether in fitness, finances, or other areas, is more likely to be stable, reliable, and contribute positively to the relationship.

How should someone communicate their needs in a relationship?

Communicating needs in a relationship involves being clear and assertive about what you want and expect from your partner. This includes discussing values, behaviors, and boundaries, and ensuring that both parties understand and respect these needs.

Why should you not lower your standards for a partner?

Lowering your standards can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction in a relationship. You should expect a partner to meet you at your level of growth and values. Compromising too much on your standards can lead to feelings of being undervalued or taken for granted.

What is the importance of face-to-face interactions over texting in relationships?

Face-to-face interactions allow you to truly get to know a person by observing their behavior, body language, and how they treat others. Texting can create an illusion of connection, but it lacks the depth and authenticity of in-person interactions, which are essential for building a genuine relationship.

How does an abundance mindset relate to dating and relationships?

An abundance mindset in dating means understanding that there are many people out there who could potentially be a great match for you. Instead of focusing on one person who may not be interested, you trust that the right person will come along, and you don't waste energy on someone who doesn't appreciate you.

Why is it important to accept that not everyone will be into you?

Accepting that not everyone will be interested in you helps you avoid frustration and disappointment. People have different preferences and reasons for not pursuing a relationship, and it’s important to remember that this is not a reflection of your worth. There are plenty of other people who will appreciate and value you.