The Right to Sexuality

Summary

Paul and Hava, a married couple with intellectual disabilities, fought societal and institutional barriers to live together. Initially separated by group home policies that questioned their ability to live independently, they faced challenges regarding their rights to sexuality and consent. With the support of organizations like YAI, they received education on sexual rights, consent, and safety, which empowered them to affirm their rights as consenting adults. Their journey highlights the importance of recognizing the autonomy and humanity of people with intellectual disabilities, underscoring their right to love, marry, and live independently.

Takeaways

• 😀 People with intellectual disabilities often face barriers in expressing their sexuality, which is a violation of their rights.
• 😀 Paul and Hava, who both have intellectual disabilities, formed a loving relationship, challenging societal assumptions about their capacity for consent and intimacy.
• 😀 Early diagnosis for Paul led to the family learning that he had developmental delays, and they struggled with how to best support him.
• 😀 Hava and Paul’s relationship started with simple social interactions but grew into a serious romantic connection, leading to marriage.
• 😀 After marriage, Paul and Hava faced challenges due to group home policies that did not allow married couples to live together.
• 😀 The group home’s resistance to recognizing the rights of married couples with intellectual disabilities highlights societal stigmas around consent and sexuality.
• 😀 A lawsuit was filed by Paul and Hava, challenging these policies and seeking recognition of their civil rights as a married couple.
• 😀 The importance of consent in sexual relationships was emphasized, with education provided to individuals with intellectual disabilities to ensure their rights are respected.
• 😀 People with intellectual disabilities can indeed give consent if they are properly educated about sexual rights and responsibilities, including understanding the nature of sexual acts and the risks involved.
• 😀 After receiving proper support, Paul and Hava were able to live together in an independent apartment, showing that people with disabilities can maintain fulfilling, independent lives when given the right support.
• 😀 The story of Paul and Hava serves as a reminder that individuals with intellectual disabilities deserve to grow and be supported in achieving as much independence as they can in life, including in relationships and marriage.

Q & A

What is the primary issue addressed in this transcript?

The transcript focuses on the challenges faced by individuals with intellectual disabilities in expressing their sexuality, forming relationships, and having their rights respected, specifically highlighting the case of Paul and Hava, a married couple with intellectual disabilities who struggle to live together in the same group home.

How did Paul and Hava's relationship develop despite their disabilities?

Paul and Hava’s relationship developed when Hava invited Paul to a dinner dance as her date, which led to them spending time together. Over time, their bond grew into a serious, lifelong relationship, culminating in their marriage.

What challenges did Paul and Hava face after their marriage?

After their marriage, Paul and Hava were forced to live in separate group homes, a situation that caused them emotional distress and feelings of loneliness, as the group homes did not allow married couples to cohabit.

What argument did Paul and Hava's advocates make in their lawsuit?

Their advocates argued that the refusal to allow married couples with intellectual disabilities to live together in the same group home violated their civil rights, as marriage is a fundamental right.

Why are many group homes hesitant to address the issue of sexuality for people with intellectual disabilities?

Group homes are often hesitant to address sexuality due to concerns over liability, fears about potential sexual abuse, and uncertainties regarding how to support individuals with disabilities in navigating sexual relationships.

What role does YAI play in helping individuals with intellectual disabilities?

YAI provides services that help individuals with intellectual disabilities understand and navigate their sexuality, including education on identity, consent, puberty, sexual activity, and the rights associated with these aspects.

How does the state of New York handle the issue of consent for individuals with intellectual disabilities?

In New York, individuals with intellectual disabilities must demonstrate their ability to understand the nature of sexual acts, the laws surrounding them, the risks of sexual abuse, and the use of contraception, in order to be legally recognized as capable of giving consent.

What kind of education do Paul and Hava receive to ensure they understand consent?

Paul and Hava receive sexuality education that includes discussions on consent, how to say no to unwanted physical contact, and how to recognize and avoid potentially abusive situations.

How were Paul and Hava eventually able to live together?

After much advocacy, the state agency OPWDD helped Paul and Hava by facilitating a housing arrangement with a willing landlord who provided them with an apartment where they could live together as a married couple.

What message does the transcript convey about individuals with intellectual disabilities and marriage?

The transcript emphasizes that individuals with intellectual disabilities have the right to form loving relationships and marriages, and should be supported in these relationships, regardless of their ability to live independently or manage certain tasks alone.