What stands in the way of women being equal to men? BBC News

Summary

The video script explores the complexities of gender equality from various perspectives across different cultures. It features personal narratives from young girls and women who express their frustrations and limitations due to societal expectations. The script also includes insights from parents, highlighting their concerns for their daughters' safety and opportunities. It touches upon the influence of cultural norms and stereotypes on gender roles, the impact of pornography on boys' perceptions of girls, and the challenges faced by girls in navigating societal pressures. The video emphasizes the need for collective action from individuals, parents, teachers, and society at large to challenge traditions and beliefs that hinder gender equality. It suggests that achieving gender equality is not just a legal or educational issue, but a matter of individual and collective priorities and decisions.

Takeaways

• 🚫 **Gender Stereotypes**: The transcript highlights how societal expectations and gender norms can limit individuals, particularly girls, from participating in activities or expressing themselves freely.
• 👧 **Double Standards**: It points out the double standards that exist in various cultures where girls are often judged more harshly or have fewer freedoms than boys.
• 🌍 **Global Perspective**: The script explores gender equality on a global scale, showing that no country has been declared gender-neutral or equal, despite laws that aim to prevent discrimination.
• 👗 **Clothing and Expectations**: It discusses the expectations placed on girls regarding their appearance and behavior, and the desire for girls to be able to wear what they want without judgment.
• 🏡 **Family Influence**: The role of parents and family in shaping gender roles and expectations is examined, with examples of both restrictive and supportive home environments.
• 👶 **Childcare and Gender Roles**: There's an emphasis on traditional views where women are seen as the primary caregivers, which can limit men's participation in child-rearing.
• 📚 **Educational Opportunities**: The importance of equal access to education for girls is mentioned, as it can be a key factor in breaking gender stereotypes and promoting equality.
• 🏋️‍♀️ **Sports and Activities**: The transcript addresses the gendered expectations around sports and physical activities, where girls are sometimes discouraged from participating in certain sports.
• 🤝 **Cultural Traditions**: It touches on how cultural traditions and practices, such as the 'labola' custom in Lutu, can contribute to gender inequality and the perception that women are traded or bought.
• 👀 **Awareness and Change**: The script suggests that awareness of gender inequality is growing, but meaningful change requires challenging long-held beliefs and stereotypes.
• 💪 **Individual Action**: Finally, it emphasizes that achieving gender equality will require individual decisions and actions from everyone, not just waiting for laws or policies to change.

Q & A

What is the main concern expressed by the young girl in the beginning of the transcript?

The young girl expresses her concerns about the limitations she faces as a girl, such as not being able to go out at night, speak out in class, or stand up for herself without being seen as disrespectful or wild. She also mentions gender stereotypes that can prevent her from pursuing certain roles or activities.

What does the father in the script think about the influence of gender on opportunities and freedoms?

The father is concerned about the opportunities and freedoms his daughters may or may not be able to enjoy due to their gender. He wants to explore why, despite laws preventing gender-based discrimination, there is still an evident disparity in how boys and girls are treated.

How does the girl named Vas feel about her freedom in Iceland?

Vas appreciates the freedom she has in Iceland, where she is allowed to go out until late at night without her parents' accompaniment. However, she acknowledges that this level of freedom might not be common in other places.

What does the girl from Jordan, Meera, think about the gender roles in her society?

Meera feels restricted by the gender roles in her society. She mentions that there are many things a woman can't do and that girls are often blamed for their mistakes due to their reputation. She expresses a desire for more freedom and to be treated the same as boys.

What is the perspective of Maran, Meera's father, on gender equality and the roles of men and women?

Maran believes in gender equality but also in the distinct roles of men and women. He thinks that women should be more 'soft' and 'cute' and that they need to be taken care of. He also expresses concern about his daughter being too liberal and not adhering to traditional values.

How does the mother from Lutu justify the tradition of 'labola'?

The mother from Lutu justifies 'labola', the custom where a man's family pays a woman's family before marriage, by saying it's part of their culture. She compares it to a business transaction, where the woman's family is compensated for giving away their daughter.

What is the main challenge that Lulu and her friends face in their social interactions?

Lulu and her friends face challenges such as sexism and objectification in their social interactions. They experience derogatory comments and inappropriate sexual remarks from boys, which they find pervasive and distressing.

How does the consumption of porn affect the perceptions of boys towards girls, according to the script?

The script suggests that the consumption of porn can lead to unrealistic expectations and objectification of girls. Boys may develop a skewed perception of sex and women based on pornographic content, which can influence how they treat and view girls in real life.

What is the father's perspective on the role of women in the home and society?

The father believes that women have a specific role in the home, which is primarily to take care of children and manage the household. He suggests that while men can help, women are naturally more capable in these areas. This belief may contribute to gender stereotypes and limit women's roles in society.

What challenges do the girls face in terms of gender equality and how do they express their frustration?

The girls face various challenges such as limited freedom, societal expectations, and stereotypes that prevent them from doing certain activities or pursuing their dreams. They express their frustration by discussing their experiences, desiring change, and seeking support from others to challenge these norms.

What is the general attitude towards feminism as portrayed in the script?

The script portrays a mixed attitude towards feminism. Some individuals are dismissive of feminists, viewing them as overly focused on women's rights. Others, however, see feminism as a positive force for change and equality, and express a desire to break through the 'glass roof' that limits women's potential.

Outlines

00:00

😀 Gender Stereotypes and Their Impact on Girls

The first paragraph addresses the societal limitations placed on girls and women, such as not being able to go out at night, speak out in class, or stand up for themselves without fear of being judged. It highlights the gender stereotypes that dictate roles, like a man being a pilot and a woman catering on a plane. The speaker expresses a desire for a future where gender does not limit personal choices and criticizes the double standards that exist in society, such as blaming women for their reputations when they make mistakes. The paragraph also touches on the experiences of being a father and the influence of gender on daily life, with a focus on the opportunities and freedoms that children may not have due to their gender.

05:01

🌍 Exploring Gender Equality and Cultural Differences

The second paragraph explores the concept of gender equality across different cultures. It contrasts the freedoms and restrictions that girls experience in Iceland, which ranks high on the gender equality index, with those in Jordan, which ranks low. The narrative follows a girl named Vas in Iceland, who has the freedom to go out late and walk home alone, a rarity in many parts of the world. The paragraph also discusses the expectations and pressures on girls in Jordan, where societal norms and cultural expectations limit their behavior, such as not being allowed to smoke or have boyfriends at a young age. It emphasizes the disparities in gender equality and the personal perspectives of individuals living in these different cultural contexts.

10:01

🚫 Restrictions and Expectations on Girls' Behavior

The third paragraph delves into the double standards and restrictions that girls face in various societies, particularly in Jordan. It discusses the frustration girls feel when they are not allowed the same freedoms as boys, such as socializing with the opposite sex or participating in certain sports. The narrative also touches on the expectations that girls should be well-dressed and maintain their reputation, contrasting with the lack of such expectations for boys. The paragraph highlights the personal accounts of girls who feel they cannot voice their opinions or stand up to their parents without fear of being seen as disrespectful.

15:03

🤔 Cultural Justifications for Gender Inequality

The fourth paragraph examines the role of culture and tradition in perpetuating gender inequality. It presents viewpoints from Lutu, where traditional practices like labola (the transfer of money or cattle from the groom's family to the bride's family as part of the marriage arrangement) are justified as cultural norms. The paragraph explores the tension between the desire for gender equality and the resistance to change deeply ingrained cultural practices. It also includes perspectives from both men and women on the roles they believe they should play within the family and society, and how these beliefs impact gender equality.

20:03

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The Pressure of Gender Roles in Relationships

The fifth paragraph discusses the societal expectations and pressures that come with gender roles within relationships and marriage. It presents a scenario where a woman might out-earn her husband and the cultural discomfort that arises from such a situation. The narrative explores the concept of labola in Lutu, where it is seen as a form of compensation to the bride's family, and how it might be perceived as a transactional practice. The paragraph also reflects on the potential for gender equality to be undermined by such traditions and the need for a collective decision to challenge and change these norms.

25:04

🤷‍♀️ The Struggle for Gender Equality and Female Empowerment

The sixth paragraph focuses on the struggle for gender equality and the challenges faced by women who strive for empowerment. It contrasts the optimism of a young woman in Iceland, who believes in the country's progressive direction, with the cautionary perspective of her mother, who acknowledges that there is still much to be done. The narrative highlights the societal pressures on women to excel while also fulfilling traditional roles, such as being responsible for household chores and childcare. It also touches on the prevalence of sexism and the normalization of derogatory language and attitudes towards women in everyday life.

30:05

👥 Cultural Shifts and the Impact on Girls' Safety

The seventh paragraph explores the cultural shifts and their impact on the safety and freedom of girls. It discusses the protective measures taken by parents in different societies, driven by concerns for their daughters' safety and reputation. The narrative contrasts the conservative approach of a father in Jordan, who believes in the importance of protecting his daughter's reputation and adhering to religious and cultural norms, with the experiences of girls in other societies. It also touches on the influence of pornography on boys' perceptions of girls and the normalization of sexist attitudes.

35:06

👊 Breaking the Glass Roof: Feminism and Empowerment

The eighth paragraph emphasizes the challenges faced by women who identify as feminists and the need for collective action to achieve gender equality. It highlights the negative connotations associated with the term 'feminist' and the resistance to change from societal norms. The narrative calls for a shift in priorities and a reevaluation of traditions and beliefs to make way for gender equality. It concludes with a call to action for individuals, parents, teachers, and society as a whole to make decisions that will drive progress towards gender equality.

40:08

👪 Family Influences on Gender Roles and Expectations

The ninth and final paragraph discusses the role of family in reinforcing gender roles and expectations. It presents the viewpoint of a mother who believes in the traditional role of women being responsible for raising children and managing the household. The paragraph explores the idea that these roles are not about fairness but about adapting to societal rules. It also touches on the struggle of women who want to be taken seriously and the societal pressures they face, including the need to break through the 'glass roof' that limits their potential. The narrative ends with a call for support from the younger generation in the fight for gender equality.

Keywords

💡Gender Equality

Gender equality refers to the state of equal rights, opportunities, and treatment for individuals, regardless of their gender. In the video, it is a central theme as it explores the disparities in opportunities and societal expectations for girls and boys, men and women across different cultures. An example from the script is Iceland's push for gender equality, yet maintaining traditional expectations at home.

💡Stereotypes

Stereotypes are widely held but fixed and oversimplified ideas or beliefs about a particular type of person or thing. In the context of the video, stereotypes are shown to influence societal roles and expectations based on gender, such as the idea that women should be homemakers and men should be breadwinners. The script mentions a belief in Lutu that women are more capable of taking care of children, which is a stereotype.

💡Cultural Traditions

Cultural traditions are practices, beliefs, and customs that are passed through generations in a culture. The video discusses how traditions can sometimes conflict with gender equality, such as the practice of 'labola' in Lutu where a man's family pays a woman's family upon marriage, which some argue treats women as commodities. The script also mentions how traditions are used to justify gender roles and inequality.

💡Sexualization

Sexualization refers to the imposition of sexual characteristics or behaviors onto someone. In the video, it is evident in the way teenage girls are objectified and sexualized by their male peers, as described by Lulu's friend Beatric. The script illustrates this through the boys' inappropriate comments and the influence of pornography in shaping their views on sex and women.

💡Feminism

Feminism is a social, political, and cultural movement that seeks to achieve equal rights, opportunities, and treatment for women. The video highlights the challenges faced by those who identify as feminists, such as being misunderstood or dismissed. Vigdis in the script expresses her frustration with the negative connotations associated with the term 'feminist' and the need for change.

💡Freedom and Autonomy

Freedom and autonomy refer to the rights or the state of being self-governed and free from external control. The video contrasts the societal restrictions and expectations placed on girls with the desire for personal freedom and self-determination. For instance, the script mentions how girls in Iceland have the freedom to pursue their dreams but also face the pressure of fulfilling traditional roles at home.

💡Gender Discrimination

Gender discrimination is the unfair treatment of someone based on their gender. The video script provides examples of gender discrimination in various forms, such as unequal opportunities, expectations, and treatment of girls and boys in different societies. It is a key issue being addressed throughout the video as it impacts the lives of the individuals featured.

💡Role Models

Role models are individuals who serve as examples to follow, often possessing qualities that are admirable or worthy of emulation. The video discusses the importance of having female role models in various fields to inspire and motivate girls. However, the script also points out the difficulty some girls face in identifying female role models, particularly in politics and other areas of public life.

💡Pornography Influence

The influence of pornography refers to the impact that consuming explicit sexual material can have on a person's attitudes, behaviors, and expectations. In the video, it is suggested that the regular consumption of porn by young men affects how they view and treat women, as seen in the boys' conversation about their sexual desires and expectations from women, which is informed by their exposure to pornographic content.

💡Parental Attitudes

Parental attitudes refer to the beliefs, values, and perspectives that parents hold, which can influence how they raise their children. The video explores how parental attitudes towards gender roles and expectations can perpetuate gender inequality. For example, Maran's conservative views on gender roles and the protection of his daughter's reputation over her equality reflect the traditional norms he wishes to uphold.

💡Societal Pressures

Societal pressures are the influences or demands that a society places on its members to conform to certain behaviors, norms, or expectations. The video discusses how societal pressures can limit individual freedoms and aspirations, particularly for girls and women. It is evident in the script when girls express their frustration with the expectations placed on them and the limitations these pressures impose on their lives.

Highlights

A young girl expresses her limitations due to gender stereotypes, such as not being able to go out at night or speak out in class without fear of being judged.

The societal expectation of women being well-dressed and attractive, contrasting with the lack of similar expectations for men.

A father's perspective on gender influence and the importance of equal opportunities for his daughters.

The realization that most countries have laws against gender discrimination but still fall short of gender neutrality.

A girl's frustration with being silenced and not taken seriously when discussing gender equality issues.

Iceland's leading position in the gender equality index, with equal paternity and maternity rights and boardroom quotas for women.

A young girl's freedom to go out late at night unaccompanied in Iceland, highlighting the country's gender equality.

The disparity in freedom between boys and girls in Jordan, with girls facing more restrictions and societal pressures.

A 15-year-old girl's desire for more freedom, such as trying smoking, as a form of rebellion against societal norms.

The double standards in gender equality, where girls face more scrutiny and limitations than boys, even in countries that promote equality.

The normalization of sexism and objectification of women in the UK, as experienced by a teenage girl.

The influence of pornography on teenage boys' perceptions of sex and their interactions with girls.

A mother's concern for her daughter's safety and the societal pressures that contribute to gender inequality.

The cultural tradition of 'labola' in Lutu, where a man's family pays the woman's family as part of the marriage arrangement, reinforcing the idea of women as commodities.

The belief that women's roles are primarily as mothers and homemakers, which can limit their aspirations and opportunities.

The need for millions of individual decisions to actively pursue gender equality, rather than passively expecting it to happen.

The importance of challenging traditional gender roles and stereotypes as a collective effort to achieve gender equality.

Transcripts

[Music]

[Music]

there are a lot of things I can't do

like I can't go out at night like to

parties I can't like

speak out in class I can't really stand

up for myself because I don't people see

that as a girl being disrespectful or

just a wild crazy

child I think that being a girl um can

stop me from doing some things for

example when you think about a plane you

think about a guy as the pilot and a

girl as the one who is catering the food

and stuff like that and I think about

when I become older I want to do like

whatever I want to do

and it doesn't contain whether I'm a

girl or a

boy when any girl do a mistake they

always blame her because of her

reputation not like a boy there a lot of

things that a woman can't do and maybe

some womens would love to do

that I'd like to be treated the same as

boys I like to wear what I want to

without anything being expected of

me and I'd like to go where I want do

what I want wear what I want as well

without anyone saying no you can't do

that you're a

[Music]

girl want me to help you it's breakfast

time at home in London on a dark winter

morning I'm getting ready to take our

2-year-old Esther to nursery and her big

sister Alice to school right should we

go off to Nursery now being a dad at the

school Gates Isn't So unusual anymore

but I'm still definitely in the minority

and I should add I don't do this

anywhere near as often as my wife does

gender still has a huge influence on how

we all live our lives and having two

daughters has brought that into sharp

Focus for

me like any parent whether you've got

boys or girls you always worry about the

opportunities that they're going to get

and the freedoms that they may or may

not be able to enjoy and the more I

think about it the more I want to

explore why it is that actually most

countries in the world have laws that

prevent boys and girls and men and women

being treated differently but actually

their experience is that that still

happens no country in the world has been

assessed and declared to be gender

neutral gender equal so I want to try

and understand what it is about the

social and cultural exchanges that these

two have as they're growing up that

maybe mean they don't have the same

chance as a boy would

they just think like oh she's a feminist

you know she just H it's just like so

annoying that's often the comment I get

just oh like shut up just they don't

bother to listen even when someone just

shut you down like just like don't say

that it's just like you kind of just

like lose the willing to want to talk

talk about it you

know if you look at the most recent

gender equality index from the world

economic Forum this place Iceland is

right at the top that means it's better

than anywhere else when it comes to

making men and women and girls and boys

equal paternity and maternity rights are

the same and recently boardroom quotas

for women were introduced so on the face

of it if you're a 15-year-old girl

Iceland's As Good As It Gets you're on

your own yeah I'm always home alone when

I come

home a woman is like expected to be like

always well-dressed and and sexy and hot

even but a guy isn't really expected to

be that but when you're a girl people

like they care way too much they're just

like why is he wearing that why is he

saying that everything is

questioned okay ready to

go it's Friday night vas's parents are

already out and she's spending the

evening at a local youth club where she

often

goes vigas is allowed to go out until

11: p.m. sometimes even midnight and

then she walks Home Alone down empty

dimly lit streets I wonder if she and

her friends realize how unusual that is

we are aware of that it's it is unique

that we can just go out and not another

and my mom was actually just talking

about it the other day that she wouldn't

want to live anywhere else because then

she would always be so worried

about me not coming home you know when

when I'm out with my friends until like

11 or 12 but this must give you an

amazing amount of Freedom about what you

can do because you're not reliant on

your parents to come and get you the

whole time yeah I was in New York the

other day and I couldn't go out to

Central Park be because it was more than

I think eight and I thought it was

really weird after 8:00 p.m. that I

couldn't go out and walk across Central

Park

and then we know that if we travel we

have to be more careful we know

[Music]

that our parents are always afraid for

us from uh the people from the society

from everything outside uh and I think

they like the idea of staying at home is

better for

us it's frustrating when you are at home

and you really get bored because you

can't do anything at home not like

boys I've come to Jordan and you don't

have to spend very much time here to see

that girls and boys and women and men

are performing quite different roles and

I suppose my definition of gender

equality has always been that girls and

boys and men and women should be able to

do whatever they want and I'm very

interested in an alternative perspective

which is that actually men and women are

equal but they're also different and I'm

really interested to have that

perspective explained to

me Jordan is ranked close to the bottom

of the gender equality index just over

10% of its parliamentarians are women

and there's no legislation prohibiting

gender

discrimination

the 15-year-old merera has equal access

to education and her father Maran has

high expectations of what she can

achieve the women and girls are

preparing the food and in a tradition

that appears to cross cultures Maran

takes charge of the

barbecue do lots of men like cooking or

you're a bit unusual uh well I like I

like uh during vacation I like to cook

to make give my wife more relaxation my

kids and I enjoy to make barbecue

actually now all children grow up with

rules but being a Muslim girl in an Arab

country merera has more than most but

what would you do with more freedom I

would

smoke I would try to smoke because

always boys when they get nervous or um

get mad of um something they smoke so I

would cigarettes yes you want to smoke

cigarettes I

would would you like to try

smoking

no in England it's quite normal for 15

or 16-year-old girls to maybe have a

boyfriend do you think

that that's too much freedom for a girl

when she's 15 or 16 I think it's too

much freedom for a girl who is uh her

age is 15 because um she's not a grown

up to think what uh she wants in her

life and what she should

do do you guys talk about

boys yeah

sometimes if you said to your father I

think I want to have a relationship when

I'm 18 or

19 what would your father say no I think

he will disagree this idea he would will

not like this

idea I think he will kill

[Laughter]

me

[Music]

seem a lot of boys they will be like oh

you a virgin and if a girl says yes

they'll be like but you're 16 or you're

15 like is it not

time there's a lot of pressure on girls

definitely in this country it's not a

nice culture at

all

my 16-year-old Lulu lives in southeast

London the UK ranks number 18 on that

same gender equality index on average

women get paid a third less than men for

the same work and they make up 23% to

Parliament certainly Lulu and her

friends have much more freedom than mea

to socialize with boys but they're fed

up with how some boys are talking to

them can I have your number no well

you're a hoe then and then as soon as

you say no oh you're a skank anyway

little ho okay let just walk away you

can either be a scank or [ __ ] one of

three not putting in the number it's

just that it's we're so used to it now

yeah it's just just repeat every day

yeah so it's like a thing where it's not

even a big thing anymore or like they're

just bragging oh yeah I did things that

I beat her I banged her I banged her

bang

bangang the place where I was you see

that park over there I B that four four

times behind the ramp over

there give up no I won't break

down there are things I feel that girls

can't do that boys are allowed to do

because they're

boys like ill behavior for example or

just Clowning Around in class I feel

like it's more for the guys than it is

for the

[Music]

girls and I prefer to

keep quiet because it feels like it's

more of the guys that are supposed to be

loud and Rowdy and all that lutu ranks

16th on the gender equality index making

it two places higher than the UK women

here don't have inheritance or custody

rights and abortion remains illegal but

it's judged to be the most equal country

in subsaharan Africa they don't allow us

to

go and her friendo appear unimpressed by

that always tell us that boys do have

their way and you know if if like a boy

I use with his parents it's not

that but if you're a girl and then you

do that they'll be like this girl is

so so not well behaved we can't exactly

stand up to our parents I still have

that fear of being disrespectful if I

try to stand up for it so I just keep

quiet and just let it go because you

can't say anything you're not allowed to

voice out your opinion as a girl you

know you'll have that shameful thing

like yes I'm a lady yeah it's fine Mommy

if you don't if you don't want to hear

me out it's

fine so yeah that's how it

is in Jordan views about how girls

should behave extend to the activities

that they should or shouldn't do we're

watching mea's brother sad play

basketball taking Parts not an option

for

mea do you think that some people think

that girls are too weak or too precious

to play certain Sports yes of course

because they always say this games are

is only for

boys they are

not good for

girls what do you think about that I

don't think it's fair because

um there's a lot of Po girls um can play

much better than the boys

MH sometimes I wish if I were a boy for

these

things do you sometimes get bored yes a

lot of times a lot of times

yeah I wonder how you think when you

just look at a group of guys like this

and these people you're not allow owed

to be around normally but they're just

normal young people does it seem

sometimes a bit strange that yes of

course there all these rules that stop

you going anywhere near them yes of

course because uh we at the end we are

all humans

and it's strange for me to not talk with

them and see how they think how they

live their

life s is 21 and he lives at home but he

goes out when he wants comes home when

he wants smokes in fact he appears to do

just about as he pleases so why can't

his

sisters it's not fair but I don't know

why it's it's a issue it's need needs so

I don't

know why so you've had it maybe you've

had it a bit easier than the girls yeah

of course I'm I'm living my life as I

like yeah does your dad have any rules

about sports you can't play or things

you can't yeah he have rules but I break

it always you break the

rules do you think Jordan will change

hope think so maybe after 100 200 years

maybe after 100 200 years

okay so basketball is out pull the

trigger but mir's Dad Maran says there

are plenty of other activities open to

girls in Jordan that are more

appropriate shooting for

example I prefer girls to to choose a

soft uh games than a tough games maybe

it would be hurt or something like that

girls are more uh soft more cute and you

know you have to take care of them and I

will start merera and her dad play back

gamon a lot and here as usual marwan's

winning and while he's concentrating on

his moves Mira wants to know why she has

to ask permission to socialize with

other girls I told you about a girl I

don't want to mention her name I don't

like that girl because I feel that she

is not a good girl I don't want you to

move around with that girl because she

is a nauy girl she's not a oy you don't

know she is uh more liberal than I than

I want my daughter to

be a liberal girl in marn's eyes is one

who goes out with whomever she pleases

and doesn't wear the hijab but his

daughters are growing up and is

interested to know more about her

father's views on boyfriends and

marriage if I find find some person I

want to get married uh with him and they

you don't like him and I insist that

what will what your reaction will be if

you insist about a person you want to

get married uh you will take your I will

talk to you frankly and honestly uh and

freely uh if I find you insist and you

have to write to do to choice and to

decide but if I find that you will not

oby me in this matter you will take that

responsible alone I mean I will not

support you in getting married someone I

don't

like what stands in the way

of women being equal to men

is for the most part is our

culture there's a stereotype of women

have having to stay at home do the

cleaning take care of the children and

the men going

out but these stereotypes are tough to

shift partly because in some cases

people believe they're true this comes

up as I walk through maser's main Market

with's mom masakona

the mother will look after the baby much

more is more capable of it's in a better

way than a father would do that a mother

would raise a child from Early Childhood

take care of the baby dress the baby

bait the baby it's not not to say that

the father doesn't help with that he he

he does help but I believe the mother

does a much better job doing that and

you see you're saying that and I have to

confess I'm bristling slightly because I

understand that I can't breastfeed a

baby but apart from that I don't

understand why I can't bring it up just

as well

as a mother can I I'm not saying you

can't bring it up you can but it's in

the

mother more than it is in the father you

say

that women just have a different role in

the home because they're mothers because

that is what they are put on Earth to do

but do you think that belief in some way

reinforces stereotypes about what men

and women women should

do which perhaps create problems for

girls and women it does it does

unfortunately

does it's 8:30 in the morning and SCH is

beginning another day at school 30% more

women in lutu are literate than men

they're also getting more professional

jobs but this success is not appealing

to

everyone why would you you do if like

you got married to a woman who had like

uh her career was bigger than yours or

she had a bigger job than you guys did

she brought in more money than you guys

did how would that make you feel first

of all I wouldn't marry a woman who has

who's bigger than why right she's going

to control me and no I wouldn't mind in

our culture that is in our culture that

is just not allowed would just not part

of the culture that that pushes the

stereotype that everybody has right I

wouldn't mind as long as I have my own

job also if if I'm working if my wife is

working and I don't work then that be I

can't have that yes cuz she's earning

more than me my role as a my role as a

man in the family is what I don't have a

proper role anymore culture and

tradition are often used to justify

something that appears to be

contributing to gender inequality the

girls want to talk about labala this is

a custom in lutu where a Man's family

gives money or cash house to a woman's

family ahead of marriage do you think

that's right then like taking out the Cs

thing yeah it's culture then what can

you see because you are marrying that

someone you can't even take someone tell

for free can you must pay so you have to

beay okay so it's basically like a

business if I have a daughter and I'm

going to give her and I'm going to give

my daughter to you I better be

compensated somewhere I have to yeah

bring me money bring me the cows I I

find this really disrespect respectful

it's like you're it's like you're buying

me well this is uh quite a scene isn't

it if there are many more beautiful

views in the world I don't think I've

ever seen them we've just come about an

hour's drive out of miseru

and it's in and amongst this

extraordinary Countryside that the vast

majority of people in lutu live and for

many

who live and earn their living in

villages like this one their lifestyle W

have changed a great deal over the years

people still tend to cattle they still

grow crops and this particular Village

is where's great uncle lives and we

wanted to come out here because I've had

lots of conversations in lutu already

just in my few days here where people

have said to me well the reason we can't

treat boys and girls and men and women

exactly the same is because we've got

Traditions which we don't want to change

that we must

respect sh's great uncle and Aunt have

lived in this area since

1958 as the family Elder her uncle would

be the one to negotiate the price of the

labola if she was getting

married if schw turned around in 20

years time and said I'm getting married

I found a fantastic man I think he's

going to be a great husband a great

father if we have children but I really

don't want you taking money from his

family I feel

like I'm being

sold how would you react to that I will

ask her this the question you really

think I was sold when

I when my family got um Lola from your

father's family do you think I was

sold when she becomes 21 or whatever she

can basically do whatever she wants

she's free to she's free to do but if

she brings a problem to problem to us

and we're going to decide for we'll tell

you what to do you'll tell what to do

mhm but she's free to do she's free

pleases but so you'll tell her what to

do but she can ignore you she doesn't

sound very free how free is she when

she's being told what to do by saying

that you would actually tell her what to

do aren't you really taking away her

freedom to decide I won't tell her what

to do I will tell her what is supposed

to

happen I've been thinking quite a lot

about marriage and this tradition here

in lutu of a Man's family paying a

woman's

family when they get married and lots of

people have said to me you know this is

just a tradition I believe in equality

it's just a tradition don't read

anything into it I suppose if I'm honest

I was a little bit skeptical about that

but I've been thinking about how I

organized my marriage to my wife and I

propose to her because that really is

the traditional thing to do in the UK

and she took my name when we got married

and again I think if you had asked us

we' have said well of course we believe

in gender equality

absolutely this is just a tradition it's

just something that happens

but just thinking about it in the last

24 hours I wonder if

perhaps they AR just simple traditions

whether they do have consequences as

well

I think people around me expect me to do

really good things when I become older

if you're a woman and you kind of like

don't do anything great just

like like below average maybe that is

that is just like fine and maybe people

will be disappointed but if I if I were

a guy I think I think it's more accepted

if you like don't do great things in

life

vas's dad Christian and her older

brother yoger are helping to prepare an

impressive Saturday morning Feast

Iceland's a country that's pushing hard

for gender equality but some of the old

expectations haven't gone away so the

freedom to do whatever you want can

actually mean trying to do an awful lot

more I think you can you know pursue

your dreams without getting

uh you know punished by the

society maybe it's a matter of you know

you're free to do all of your dreams as

long as you still do all the other

things right yeah maybe maybe maybe

that's sort of the pressure because

responsibility is always added to women

yeah yeah but more and more you know

young people decide to live alone so

it's getting more common that you just

pursue your own life without any

constraints of the family

or I just wonder if Iceland's trying to

create a situation where women can work

in exactly the same way as

men but it's not ready to let go of the

idea that it should be women who are in

charge at home so right there's a double

pressure there which men are not exposed

to absolutely I think I think that's

absolutely right

yeah and when it comes you know

especially when the kids are at the

young age you know for the first two or

3 years you know sometimes think I think

of uh when I think about the the girls

you know my

daughters having a man will only only

slow them down and having a man will

only you know get their life more

difficult than it should be because they

put a lot

of I'm afraid they will put a lot of

press pressure on them and uh to behave

in a certain way and to do things in a

certain way because I want them to have

uh the freedom of you know do what

exactly what they like to

do I really believe that iand is going

in the right direction and that maybe

even in in like five six years when I'll

will be all grown up and and work in a

company or something that I will for

example get the money that I earning and

and people will judge me for who I

am but but for all vas's optimism her

mother thought this has a

warning I I have to admit that I thought

there was a

equality against men and women when I

was at your age

yeah I was very

stupid but I think because that I have

opportunity to go to high school

universities Etc then I thought it was

coming must and and the society was

telling me that it was okay that this

was not for any debate or we shouldn't

be discussing about it because it was

obvious that if I were good enough then

everything is okay so just just

depending on how good I am yeah and I

thought okay if I'm going to good enough

then I will go all the way we are so you

know we are one of the best countes in

the world according to this but still we

are we have so many yeah we have so many

many things to fix and exactly exactly

yeah and it takes a long time because uh

it's only top of the iceberg that we see

and everything is underneath is so

you're so much part of us and nobody

actually knows how to fix it or what to

do

no I went into the class and it was me

and another girl there and about 11 boys

12 boys because the rest of the girls

went in um and the teacher went out of

the room for about 5 minutes and we were

just working doing our Vis Vision um and

one of the boys went oh look there's

only two girls in here and love One

shout out out gang

rape London is one of the most

Multicultural cities in the world this

is a market just down the road from

Lulu's house and there are people from

all over shopping and working as well

and while I wouldn't for a minute

suggest that the UK has dealt with

racism as a problem it has made huge

strides in the last 30 or 40 years and

to make a racist comment or Express a

racist opinion is completely

unacceptable now but then I listen to

Lulu and it sounds like sexism is

absolutely pervasive in her life and I

don't get the impression that that is

being challenged in some way it's almost

become

acceptable chicken takeaways are every

everywhere in London and a teenage night

out will often feature one as we eat

Lulu's friend beatric tells us about

something that happened earlier today um

I was I was sitting in class and between

these two boys and they were just um

they were telling me how bad they want

they want to sleep with someone but then

they would like commenting about how

they would like sleep with me and then n

um n have you seen that porn um video

have you seen that porn video oh yeah

yeah I'll do it like that I do like that

and then um was like mate wait what's

happening what's happening no just can't

it's a joke and I I got really angry

actually there's a lot of boys that

their parents will never ever ever talk

to them about anything like that and the

only place they learn about sex is on

porn and so that's the only idea they

have of it and they don't know what real

sex is so if they're with a girl that's

what they expect the girl to be like and

real girls a like them stand day but

what about the boys do Lulu's mates Bob

and Zach think that their regular

consumption of porn affects how they see

girls and women boys do watch

porn do you watch porn yeah yeah it just

happens like you know I don't think it

affects how we we view women it's just a

thing you do yeah but I I'd say it

brings your standards up a bit still

like when you see girls with porn star

bodies you just like yeah want that one

and I think it also puts a a pressure on

cuz you know there's a lot of dirty [ __ ]

that goes on to like all that stuff

actually people want to do that like

talk to me about for instance like the

verb to beat which presumably for anyone

over the age of 25 means nothing now so

if you're going to beat a girl you're

going to have sex with

her it's the same as sex really yeah I'm

going to beat you I'm going to have sex

with you it's not got any meaning to it

really it's not like oh yeah you're

going to have sex really violently or

whatever it's just you're just to have

sex casually and if I brought a group of

girls here around your age and said and

they said to you just stop it stop the

ratings stop the jokes stop the comments

about my appearance I don't want any of

it it's not making us feel good all

right then would you listen yeah all

right cool I wouldn't wouldn't comment

on them I just be like all right then

cool and then they probably missed the

the compliment

cuz I that's your point right Zach that

actually some of them like this yeah

some of them do like this I think I

mean they like they they'll sort of deny

the like that they like the attention

but realistically who doesn't like

positive attention

yeah you always want to look nice you

always wanted people to notice that you

look nice so yeah if they if they didn't

want to look nice stop wearing makeup in

college you know what I mean it's if

you're not bothered about your

appearance you don't want people to

comment on your appearance don't wear

makeup don't dress yourself up yeah

[Applause]

completely a man approached me from

behind and at midnight grabbed me from

behind and at first I froze I didn't

know what to do and before I'll be like

oh yeah I'll fight anyone off that say

does anything but it's that moment where

you're stuck where you

can't as a teenager in London Lulu has

to be StreetWise and like VI this her

Freedom isn't restricted by her parents

but where they differ is that Lulu has

to be constantly aware of her

environment her mom Daisy thinks there's

more danger now than when she was

growing up I think I just sort of try

and reinforce to her to you know think

carefully about who she's hanging around

with and make sure she knows who they

are and who they're friends with

and to

um always keep her wits about her

I think it's definitely harder to be a

teenage girl today when I was growing up

I could go out when I was 16 or 17 with

a group of friends who were girls out

clubbing and drinking and would have a

good time we could walk home together

and be relatively safe um but certainly

these days I wouldn't let my daughters

walk home at 2:00 in the morning with a

group of girls I think there are far too

many scary men out there really because

of influences from the internet and porn

particularly and I would definitely see

a lot of them as

[Music]

Predators marn's beliefs are deeply

rooted in

Islam any parents love for their

children is going to translate into a

desire to protect them and inevitably as

kids grow up there's a tension between

our desire to protect and their desire

for a few more

freedoms but what's interesting

listening to Marwan is that he isn't

just concerned with protecting mea from

harm he's also worrying about her

reputation and his fam's what follows is

a definition of equality that says girls

and women are equal but

different and this is not seen as

something which might evolve or can be

challenged but something which is

fixed

sounds incredible huh oh it's nice

because when I see the the way that

Meera is living there are lots of things

that she can't do that a 15-year-old boy

could do she can't like what like what

she can't meet with friends without your

permission yes and she can meet her

friends but I have to know uh the the

family because I don't like to have a

relationship with extreme liberal family

is it more important to protect their

reputation and to respect your religion

than it is for them to be equal in

society

uh you can say yes yes so actually it's

more important that they're safe that

they have a good husband that they have

a secure home that's more important than

whether they're equal to men and boys

right uh in our country in our

traditions and culture if a a girl is

more too liberal I I think men's uh in

general they don't like a liberal family

or liberal woman they they want a

conservative uh lady or woman or wife

because they feel more trusty with her

they feel that uh she doesn't have uh a

love relation before she will give more

attention and care and love for her

future

[Music]

husband despite living thousands of

miles apart being from very different

backgrounds Meera Lulu vigdis and schw

are all frustrated that their societies

think that girls need to be kept out of

Harm's

[Music]

Way

but in lutu there are high rates of rape

and the third highest prevalence of HIV

in the world that would concern any

parent and affect the rules that they

set it is very easy to succumb to such

pressures from the boy to get involved

in sex before you are even

ready to to get involved in in sexual

relationships like that

and it it it is very troubling to me as

a mother as I'm sure it is to many other

mothers that you will not

be

um um strong enough to you know

to to say no there's also the risk of

HIV and AIDS

you may not get

pregnant but the disease is

Rife and no parent myself included would

like to find their child in a position

where they are HIV

positive one mistake one mistake can

change your whole

life we want to learn caution is of

course no bad thing in some

circumstances but in others it may be a

hindrance I'm spending an evening at

Lulu's theater group in southeast London

sometimes the girls seem resigned to

inequality and lacking something or

someone to inspire them to take it on

can you name

me a female role model do you think

there's an example of what I could be

Beyonce who

else um I forgot her name but she she's

a female astronaut what about political

Role Models any female politicians you

can name in general Inspire honest I

don't really know some to be honest I

would to be Barack Obama even if it was

a man could you could you name a could

you name a high-profile female

politician

isue and it's not only men who stand in

the way mothers and sisters can also

reinforce the reasons why men and women

should be treated differently you know

that this is the way that my father

raised us and my mother raised us uh to

be that the woman or the girl at General

uh her her uh position is at home to

raise her children to do home homeworks

you know it's not about uh uh being fair

or unfair uh it's about uh that we have

to get used to this uh these rules

around us this is the the life that we

we live You Know M you have to get

used something vigis doesn't want to get

used to is that still sometimes she

struggles to be taken

seriously would you say that you're a

feminist yeah the word feminist people

don't look at it as it is and people

have like they they just hear the word

feminist and just think oh she's going

to talk about how women should have

equal rights for 2 hours I don't even I

don't even bother seeing tonight I'm not

going to give her a break no and I just

I just bother I don't even bother to

listen to her but it it shouldn't be

that you should be proud to be a

feminist it's should be thing yeah yeah

but my experience is that there are so

many

hindrances

treasured for women there is a glass

roof that um we need to break yeah I I

have been trying to do it for you but I

probably need your help to to go through

yeah yeah I see I'm I'm counting on you

no no

[Laughter]

pressure the lack of any countries in

the world where men and women are equal

is mirrored by the almost total absence

of any one will say that they shouldn't

be we say everyone's equal but all the

while we're helping to perpetuate or at

least tolerate status quo which is

making sure that that doesn't happen and

if I've learned anything while making

this program is that if Alice and Esther

and everyone else is going to be equal

in this world we can't just wait for

gender equality to magically appear it's

going to take millions of individual

Decisions by parents by teachers by boys

and by girls themselves and I guess that

comes down to priorities just how much

do we want this to happen where does

gender equality fit in versus our

traditions and our beliefs but let's not

kid ourselves here it's not law or

education that's standing in the way of

equality it's primarily

us

w