Too Many Interests & Not Enough Follow Through? Try This

Summary

In this insightful video, Caren Mill, an ADHD coach and creator, addresses the common struggle of having too many interests without follow-through, a challenge often faced by adults with ADHD and multipotentialites. She explains that divergent thinkers, unlike linear thinkers, tend to jump from one idea to another, leading to a cycle of starting new projects without completing them. This behavior stems from an ingrained belief that one's current self is not enough, leading to a constant pursuit of self-improvement based on societal scorecards. To overcome this, Caren encourages embracing one's authentic interests and distinguishing them from obligations or societal expectations. She guides viewers to list their endeavors, discern between those driven by genuine interest and those by 'shoulds', and to make choices that align with their true selves. By doing so, individuals can experience a sense of peace, motivation, and enjoyment in their life's journey rather than feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to meet external standards.

Takeaways

• 🤔 Many people with ADHD or who are multipotentialites struggle with numerous interests and a lack of follow-through, which can lead to feelings of not reaching their potential.
• 💡 The issue often stems from being divergent thinkers, with brains that jump between many ideas, unlike neurotypical linear thinkers who can focus on one task to completion.
• 🧠 The ADHD brain's interest-driven nature may cause projects to be abandoned when interest wanes or when faced with challenges due to limiting beliefs or low dopamine levels.
• 🔄 The tendency to jump from one interest to another is fueled by an inherent belief that one's current self is not good enough, influenced by societal scorecards and expectations.
• 🌟 The key to overcoming this struggle is self-acceptance and understanding that the feeling of not being enough is a common human experience, not just an ADHD or multipotentialite issue.
• ✅ A practical exercise is to list activities undertaken with the aim of self-improvement and discern which were pursued out of genuine interest versus those driven by social expectations or obligations.
• 📝 By differentiating between authentic interests and imposed 'shoulds,' one can begin to align their actions more closely with their true self, leading to increased motivation and follow-through.
• 🚀 Choosing to pursue interests that are inherently appealing and aligned with one's values can lead to a more fulfilling and less stressful life, as opposed to those chosen out of obligation.
• 🔑 Recognizing that there is always a degree of choice within obligatory tasks allows for a more empowered mindset and the opportunity to make decisions that are more in line with one's authentic self.
• 🌱 Building the muscle of discernment is crucial for adults to have better control over their time, energy, and social engagements, leading to more effective and satisfying outcomes.
• ⛵️ Embracing one's authentic direction and enjoying the journey of life can replace the constant striving and feeling of inadequacy, promoting a more peaceful and enjoyable existence.

Q & A

What is the main challenge that people with ADHD and multipotentialites face according to the video?

The main challenge is having too many interests and ideas but struggling with implementation and follow-through, leading to a cycle of starting new projects without completing them.

What is a Divergent thinker?

A Divergent thinker is someone whose brain tends to go in many different directions at once, as opposed to a more linear way of thinking that focuses on one thing at a time.

Why do people with ADHD often feel like they are not reaching their potential?

They often feel this way because they tend to jump from one interest to another without completing anything, which leads to a sense of not fulfilling their perceived potential.

What is the role of dopamine in the context of ADHD and task completion?

Dopamine levels in the brain can affect motivation and the ability to take a project through to completion, especially when the task is no longer perceived as interesting.

What are some reasons that might cause someone to abandon a project before completion?

Reasons include boredom, realizing it's not the right thing, wanting to do something else, or internal beliefs that prevent them from completing tasks, such as thinking they are never successful or never finish anything.

What does the speaker suggest as a solution to manage multiple interests and increase follow-through?

The speaker suggests embracing the part of oneself that feels like it's not measuring up and learning to discern between interests driven by inherent desire and those driven by social expectations or obligations.

Why do people often feel not good enough or broken?

This feeling often stems from societal scorecards and expectations that are imposed on individuals from a young age, leading to a belief that one must meet 100% of these standards to be considered successful or adequate.

How can someone determine if their striving is due to social expectations or their own authentic interests?

By listing all the things they have done in the spirit of striving towards betterment, then distinguishing which of those actions were taken out of obligation or social scorecards versus those that were driven by their inherent interests.

What is the significance of choosing actions that align with one's authentic self?

Choosing actions that align with one's authentic self can lead to increased motivation, interest, and energy, making it more likely for individuals to follow through and complete those tasks.

What is the importance of discernment in managing one's interests and commitments?

Discernment helps individuals differentiate between commitments made out of obligation or social pressure and those that are a true reflection of their desires and identity, leading to more meaningful and fulfilling actions.

How can someone move towards their own version of potential?

By understanding and acknowledging the societal scorecards that have influenced their perception of potential, and then making choices that are more aligned with their authentic self and inherent interests.