The secret to a better workplace: don’t be a D.I.C.K. | Lindsay Mattes | TEDxClarkstown

Summary

In this thought-provoking speech, an HR professional reflects on the disconnect between society's technological advancements and its progress in addressing human issues like discrimination and inequality. Using the phrase 'don't be a dick' as a memorable mantra, the speaker emphasizes the importance of treating others with kindness, empathy, and respect in the workplace. Through a personal story, they highlight how simple, thoughtful actions can lead to greater understanding and improved human interactions. The speech encourages moving beyond division to foster unity, collaboration, and growth, both personally and professionally.

Takeaways

• 😀 Technological advancements have reached incredible heights, but humanity has struggled to keep up in addressing societal issues like inequality.
• 😀 Despite the Civil Rights Act being passed in 1964, systemic inequalities persist, especially in the workplace, with women and minorities underrepresented and underpaid.
• 😀 Laws and workplace harassment training have not solved the problem, and harassment claims continue to rise, costing millions each year.
• 😀 The question isn’t just about technological progress; it's about advancing humanity to the same level, creating collaboration and unity instead of division and competition.
• 😀 The phrase 'Don't be a dick' became a way to make complex workplace training more relatable and to encourage kindness and respect among colleagues.
• 😀 Being a 'dick' refers to behavior that causes harm to others, whether intentional or unintentional, and can cross boundaries like race, sex, religion, and politics.
• 😀 To move forward, focus on kindness through behaviors that foster kinship, inquisitiveness, introspection, and determination.
• 😀 The speaker's personal experience at a conference highlights how miscommunication and disrespect for boundaries can lead to discomfort, but can be corrected through introspection and apology.
• 😀 A true leader takes responsibility for their actions, apologizes when necessary, and creates a culture where respect and kindness are prioritized.
• 😀 The key takeaway is simple: treat others with kindness, and when you're struggling to do so, at least remember: don't be a dick.

Q & A

What is the central message of the speaker's presentation?

The speaker's central message is that despite technological advances, humanity still struggles with systemic inequalities, particularly in the workplace. The speaker advocates for treating others with kindness and respect and offers the advice, 'Don't be a dick,' as a simple reminder of how we should behave toward one another.

Why does the speaker mention the Civil Rights Act of 1964?

The speaker refers to the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to highlight the long-standing history of discrimination in the workplace, despite landmark legislation aimed at ending such practices. It serves as a backdrop to the ongoing issues of systemic inequality that persist even decades later.

What are some statistics mentioned regarding women in the workforce?

The speaker notes that women make up 47% of the workforce but remain underrepresented in leadership positions and face significant pay disparities, especially women of color. This emphasizes the ongoing struggles women face in achieving equality in the workplace.

What is the significance of the phrase 'Don't be a dick'?

The phrase 'Don't be a dick' became a pivotal moment in the speaker's presentation. It shifted the tone from a formal, lecture-like environment to one of authenticity and honesty, fostering a more open and relatable discussion about workplace behaviors and challenges.

How does the speaker suggest improving workplace dynamics?

The speaker suggests that people should try to be kind and avoid dismissive, insensitive, and cruel behaviors. The acronym 'TRY KIND' is introduced to remind individuals to show kinship, be inquisitive, introspective, nimble, and determined to improve their behavior and interactions.

What does the 'TRY KIND' acronym stand for?

The 'TRY KIND' acronym stands for: 'T' for being dismissive and defensive, 'R' for being insensitive and insecure, 'Y' for being callous or cruel. Instead, 'K' stands for kinship and community, 'I' for inquisitive and introspective, 'N' for nimble and flexible, and 'D' for determined to be better.

What does the speaker mean by the term 'killjoy'?

A 'killjoy' refers to someone who drains the energy from a room and negatively affects the mood, making it uncomfortable for others. The speaker uses this term to describe a negative behavior that harms group dynamics and interactions.

What example does the speaker give to illustrate the 'Don't be a dick' principle?

The speaker recounts an experience at a leadership conference where a man, despite being told the speaker didn’t want a hug, dismissed her boundaries and insisted on hugging. This behavior was an example of being a 'dick,' as it ignored her comfort and space.

How did the gentleman at the leadership conference react after the incident?

After realizing his mistake, the gentleman approached the speaker the following day, apologized sincerely for his behavior, acknowledged his mistake, and promised to respect her boundaries in the future. His apology and reflection demonstrated his commitment to 'trying kind.'

What was the impact of the gentleman’s apology on the conference?

The gentleman’s apology not only repaired the personal interaction but also had a broader impact. During his speech that day, he shared his mistake with the entire conference, emphasizing that such behavior was unacceptable, which helped reinforce the importance of respectful treatment in professional spaces.