ENFP + ISTJ Duality Pairs | Season 14 Part 4 | CS Joseph

Summary

In this season finale of the CS Joseph podcast, the host explores the highly dysfunctional relationship between ENFPs and ISTJs, arguing that this pairing is one of the most toxic and volatile. The episode highlights the psychological mismatches, including intense competition for validation and emotional conflict, leading to potentially destructive outcomes. Joseph critiques common misconceptions about 'golden pairs' and 'dualities,' stressing the dangers of such relationships and recommending healthier, more compatible alternatives, such as the 'Golden Pair' or 'Natural Pair,' for long-term emotional stability and personal growth.

Takeaways

• 😀 ENFP and ISTJ relationships are highly incompatible and should be avoided at all costs due to fundamental personality clashes.
• 😀 The concept of colloquial Duality is often misunderstood, leading people to believe that ENFP and ISTJ are a good match when they are not.
• 😀 ENFPs and ISTJs tend to compete with each other over who is more desirable or charitable, leading to unhealthy dynamics in the relationship.
• 😀 Substance abuse can be a major factor in making these relationships seem viable, but it only masks deeper issues and is not a sustainable solution.
• 😀 Violence, both emotional and physical, is common in ENFP-ISTJ relationships due to the wrath-based nature of both types.
• 😀 Domestic disputes between ENFP and ISTJ couples are intense and often require external intervention, such as legal authorities, to resolve.
• 😀 Both partners in an ENFP-ISTJ relationship often feel justified in attacking each other’s weaknesses, resulting in emotional and psychological damage.
• 😀 ENFPs and ISTJs may start out with initial attraction due to shared values or similar temperaments, but their relationship deteriorates as nature takes over.
• 😀 Duality relationships, including ENFP-ISTJ pairings, are toxic by default and not worth pursuing for long-term success or happiness.
• 😀 For healthier, more successful relationships, it’s recommended to pursue pairings with higher compatibility, such as Golden Pair, Pedagogue, and Natural Pair relationships.
• 😀 Relationships built on respect, trust, or challenge (super ego) are also options for personal growth, but the best choices for longevity are Golden Pair and Natural Pair relationships.

Q & A

Why does the speaker warn against relationships between ENFPs and ISTJs?

The speaker warns against relationships between ENFPs and ISTJs because these types often clash due to their different cognitive functions, leading to a toxic dynamic. They tend to compete for desirability and comfort, causing constant conflict. Additionally, both types have the deadly sin of Wrath, which can lead to physical violence and emotional destruction in these relationships.

What is the difference between colloquial Duality and regular Duality in socionics?

Colloquial Duality refers to a common misconception in the personality community where people believe certain types are ideal pairs, but this doesn't align with the deeper understanding of socionics. Regular or true Duality in socionics, however, is the natural pairing of types based on their cognitive functions and is considered the most compatible relationship type.

How does the speaker describe the role of substances in duality relationships?

The speaker explains that substances, like alcohol, can temporarily alter the behavior of ENFPs and ISTJs, allowing them to have a more tolerable relationship. However, this is not a sustainable or healthy foundation, and the relationship becomes dependent on mind-altering substances to function.

What are some of the negative outcomes of ENFP-ISTJ relationships according to the speaker?

Negative outcomes include constant emotional conflict, manipulation, and competition. The ENFP and ISTJ often attack each other's child functions and innocence, leading to an unhealthy, volatile relationship. This dynamic can escalate to domestic violence and deep emotional scars.

Why are ENFPs and ISTJs described as 'wrath types'?

ENFPs and ISTJs are described as 'wrath types' because both possess Wrath as a primary deadly sin. This intense emotional response can cause them to act out in anger, leading to destructive behavior, particularly in their interactions with each other in relationships.

What does the speaker say about the compatibility of ENFPs and ISTJs?

The speaker emphasizes that ENFPs and ISTJs are not compatible in a healthy relationship. While they may feel initial attraction due to shared external traits, such as desires for comfort and validation, their core differences in cognitive functions and emotional needs cause the relationship to deteriorate quickly.

What is the significance of the term 'golden pair' in the speaker's discussion?

'Golden pair' refers to the highest level of compatibility in relationships according to the speaker. It is used to describe the most ideal pairing of personality types in terms of emotional and sexual compatibility, leading to the most fulfilling and lasting relationships.

What does the speaker recommend as healthier alternatives to ENFP-ISTJ relationships?

The speaker recommends considering other types of relationships with higher compatibility, such as the Golden Pair, Pedagogue Pair, or Natural Pair. These relationships have a better chance of success and long-term fulfillment compared to the toxic dynamic of the ENFP-ISTJ pairing.

How does the speaker view the role of commitment and loyalty in ENFP-ISTJ relationships?

While ENFPs and ISTJs may feel a strong sense of commitment and loyalty to each other, the speaker points out that these feelings often lead to disloyalty and emotional conflict. The destructive behavior that arises from their incompatible personalities makes it difficult for either type to sustain loyalty without constant internal strife.

What external factors does the speaker believe contribute to the formation of ENFP-ISTJ relationships?

The speaker attributes the formation of ENFP-ISTJ relationships to external factors like religious or cultural influences, arranged marriages, or unconscious desires driven by survival instincts. These external pressures lead individuals to pair up without considering the deeper psychological compatibility that is necessary for a healthy relationship.