10 Ways To Know You Are Ready For Marriage

Summary

Dr. Michelle Daav's video script discusses the importance of self-preparedness for marriage. She emphasizes that being single is a blessing and a time for personal growth. Dr. Daav suggests that readiness for marriage comes when one is not obsessed with the status of being single or married, understands the purpose of marriage beyond companionship, and is self-aware of their strengths and limitations. She also highlights the importance of recognizing how one's attitude impacts others, being malleable and able to submit to one's future husband's leadership, controlling one's tongue, and being able to hear God's voice for guidance in life's decisions. The summary serves as a guide for individuals to reflect on their readiness for marriage and fosters a deeper understanding of the personal work required before entering a lifelong commitment.

Takeaways

• 💍 Embrace Singlehood: Being single is a blessing and a time for personal growth, not a disadvantage.
• 🧐 Balance on Marriage: Don't be overly obsessed with either being single or getting married; maintain a balanced perspective.
• 🙏 Understanding Marriage: Grasp the true purpose and meaning of marriage beyond companionship.
• 🌟 Recognize Your Strengths: Be aware of your personal strengths and work on your limitations to contribute positively to a marriage.
• 🚫 Control Your Attitude: Be self-aware of how your behavior and attitude impact those around you, including a future spouse.
• 🗣️ Master Your Tongue: Practice speaking kindly, responsibly, and with self-control to foster healthy communication in marriage.
• 🧘‍♀️ Spiritual Readiness: Develop the ability to hear and discern God's voice for guidance in your personal life and future marriage.
• 🤝 Willingness to Submit: Be open to the concept of submission in marriage as a form of support and partnership.
• 💬 Communication Skills: Cultivate effective communication skills, as they are crucial for resolving conflicts and building intimacy.
• 📚 Continuous Learning: Engage in continuous self-improvement through reading, counseling, and seeking wisdom on marriage and relationships.

Q & A

What is the primary topic of discussion in the transcript?

The primary topic of discussion is about preparing oneself for marriage and understanding when one is ready to be a wife.

Why does Dr. Michelle daav find the topic of marriage exciting?

Dr. Michelle daav finds the topic of marriage exciting because it brings her happiness and it is a subject she is passionate about discussing.

What is the significance of being single according to the transcript?

Being single is considered a blessing and a positive state, as it implies being complete in oneself and waiting for a compatible partner who matches one's destiny and lifestyle.

What are some signs that a person might not be ready for marriage according to the transcript?

Signs include being obsessed with the idea of marriage, having given up on the possibility of finding a partner, lacking hope, and not having a balanced perspective on being single or married.

What does Dr. Michelle daav suggest is an important aspect to understand before getting married?

An important aspect to understand is the purpose and meaning of marriage, including one's role in a Kingdom marriage and how it differs from a secular perspective.

How does self-awareness play a role in being ready for marriage?

Self-awareness is crucial as it involves understanding one's strengths and limitations, which helps in personal growth and preparing for the responsibilities of marriage.

What does being 'malleable' signify in the context of marriage?

Being 'malleable' in the context of marriage means being able to adapt, follow, and submit to one's husband's leadership, which is seen as a God-given authority in the family.

Why is having control over one's tongue important for a successful marriage?

Having control over one's tongue is important because it involves speaking kindly, responsibly, and avoiding harmful speech such as gossip, complaints, or nagging, which are detrimental to a healthy marital relationship.

What is the role of spirituality in preparing for marriage according to the transcript?

Spirituality plays a significant role as it involves hearing God's voice, getting divine guidance, and making sound decisions that affect various aspects of life and marriage.

How does Dr. Michelle daav suggest one can continue the conversation on preparing for marriage?

Dr. Michelle daav suggests continuing the conversation on her podcast called 'The Dr. Dab Show,' where she discusses the topic in more depth.

What is the importance of understanding one's emotional triggers and responses before entering marriage?

Understanding one's emotional triggers and responses is important because it helps in managing personal reactions, fostering effective communication, and building a strong emotional foundation for marriage.

Outlines

00:00

😀 Embracing Singlehood and Preparing for Marriage

Dr. Michelle Daav starts by welcoming viewers to her channel and expressing her enthusiasm for discussing the topic of preparing for marriage. She shares her personal journey of wanting to get married and the realization that she needed to focus on being a good wife rather than just the wedding or the status of being married. Dr. Daav emphasizes that being single is a blessing and a time for self-discovery. She advises viewers to consider their readiness for marriage by evaluating their feelings about being single or married, their understanding of the purpose of marriage, and their ability to grow in areas of personal development.

05:04

💍 Understanding the Purpose and Role in Marriage

The second paragraph delves into the biblical perspective of marriage, explaining that it is not just about companionship but also about fulfilling a divine purpose. Dr. Daav differentiates between 'right' marriages and 'Kingdom' marriages, particularly for those who are Christians. She stresses the importance of understanding one's role in a marriage and how to prepare for it. Self-awareness is key, and individuals should recognize their strengths and limitations to better contribute to a marriage. This includes understanding emotional triggers and how one's behavior impacts others, which is crucial for a harmonious relationship.

10:05

🌟 Self-Awareness and the Impact of Attitude on Others

In the third paragraph, Dr. Daav discusses the importance of self-awareness, particularly in recognizing how one's attitude affects those around them. She poses questions about whether one's demeanor makes others feel comfortable or inferior. She also addresses the impact of mental health on relationships and the need for honesty about one's struggles. The ability to be malleable and adaptable is highlighted as a crucial trait for a successful marriage, where the husband is traditionally seen as the leader. Dr. Daav encourages viewers to reflect on their responses to authority and their ability to submit to their partner's decisions.

15:07

🗣️ Controlling Communication and the Power of the Tongue

The fourth paragraph focuses on the importance of controlling one's speech, which is vital for a healthy marriage. Dr. Daav talks about the need for kindness, responsibility, and discretion in speech. She warns against outbursts of anger, lying, gossiping, and oversharing. She emphasizes that controlling one's tongue is a sign of maturity and readiness for marriage. She also stresses the importance of being able to hear and discern God's voice, which is essential for making sound decisions in life and in marriage.

20:08

🙏 Spiritual Readiness and Hearing God's Voice

The final paragraph emphasizes the spiritual aspect of preparing for marriage. Dr. Daav discusses the necessity of being able to hear and follow God's guidance, which is critical for navigating the various challenges that come with marriage. She suggests that being spiritually attuned helps in making important decisions and provides direction. She also invites viewers to continue the conversation on her podcast, 'The Dr. Dab Show,' where she will elaborate on additional aspects of marriage preparation.

Keywords

💡Marriage

Marriage is a legally and socially recognized union between two individuals, typically involving personal, romantic, and sexual intimacy. In the video, marriage is a central theme, representing a commitment and partnership that requires readiness and preparation. It is discussed as a topic that brings happiness and is associated with the journey of personal growth and understanding of one's role within the institution.

💡Readiness

Readiness refers to the state of being prepared or willing for an event or situation. In the context of the video, it is about being emotionally, mentally, and spiritually prepared for the responsibilities and challenges of marriage. The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and personal development before entering into a marital relationship.

💡Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires. It is a key concept in the video, as the speaker discusses the importance of understanding one's strengths and limitations when considering marriage. This awareness is crucial for personal growth and for building a strong foundation in a marriage.

💡Singlehood

Singlehood is the state of not being married or not being in a relationship. The video portrays singlehood as a positive and complete state of being, where individuals can focus on personal development and self-discovery. It is presented as a time to enjoy and learn about oneself before committing to a lifelong partnership.

💡Companionship

Companionship refers to the close association with others who provide support and friendship. In the video, it is mentioned as a part of the purpose of marriage, but also as something that can be found in various forms outside of marriage, such as with friends and family. It is distinguished from the unique bond and commitment of marriage.

💡Strengths and Limitations

Strengths and limitations are personal attributes that define one's capabilities and areas for improvement. The speaker discusses the importance of recognizing these traits in the context of marriage, as they influence how one interacts with a partner and contributes to the relationship. Understanding these aspects of oneself is vital for personal growth and for complementing one's spouse effectively.

💡Communication

Communication is the process of expressing ideas, feelings, or information through speech, writing, or behavior. In the video, it is highlighted as a fundamental aspect of marriage, where constant dialogue, sharing, and negotiation occur. Effective communication is essential for resolving conflicts and building a strong marital bond.

💡Spiritual Preparation

Spiritual preparation involves developing a strong connection with one's spiritual beliefs or a higher power, which can provide guidance and strength. The video emphasizes the importance of being able to hear and understand divine guidance, particularly in making decisions that affect one's marriage and family life.

💡Submission

Submission in the context of the video refers to the willingness to accept or yield to the authority or decisions of one's spouse, particularly the husband, as per traditional Christian views on marriage. It is discussed as a necessary quality for a harmonious marriage, where the husband is seen as the head of the household.

💡Malleability

Malleability is the quality of being easily shaped or influenced. In the video, it is used to describe the adaptability and flexibility required in a marriage, where one must be open to change and able to follow the lead of their spouse at times. This trait is seen as important for navigating the various challenges and decisions in married life.

💡Hearing God's Voice

Hearing God's voice is a spiritual concept that refers to perceiving divine guidance or receiving spiritual insights. In the video, it is presented as a critical ability for making wise choices in marriage and for maintaining a strong spiritual foundation. It involves discerning God's will through prayer, Bible reading, and quiet reflection.

Highlights

Being single is a blessing and a positive state, not a disadvantage.

One should not be obsessed with the idea of being married or remaining single, as obsession can lead to compromise on personal standards.

Understanding the purpose and meaning of marriage is crucial before entering into it.

Self-awareness of one's strengths and limitations is key to preparing for marriage.

Knowing how your attitude impacts those around you is important for a healthy marriage.

Malleability and the ability to follow are important traits when considering a marriage where the husband is traditionally seen as the leader.

Having control over your tongue, including speaking kindly and responsibly, is a sign of readiness for marriage.

Hearing and discerning God's voice is essential for making sound decisions in marriage.

The importance of not rushing into marriage and being comfortable with the process of waiting for the right person.

The necessity of hope in the process of finding a partner and not giving up on the possibility of marriage.

The concept of Kingdom marriage, where the union has a purpose beyond companionship and love.

The ability to recognize and work on personal struggles as a step towards being a good wife.

The significance of knowing your emotional triggers and how to manage them in a marriage.

The importance of being able to submit to your husband's authority in a marriage, as per traditional Christian beliefs.

The necessity of being able to communicate effectively and considerately with your future spouse.

The spiritual aspect of marriage and the role of prayer and fasting in covering and guiding the family.

The impact of mental health on a marriage and the importance of understanding and managing it.

Transcripts

good morning gorgeous welcome to my

channel I'm Dr Michelle daav and I'm so

happy that you're here with me today

we're going to talk about a really

exciting topic and that is you my love

preparing yourself for marriage knowing

when you're actually ready to be a wife

this is a topic that's really near and

dear to my heart only because marriage

is a topic that really makes me happy to

talk about and I remember being being in

that stage in my life where I really

wanted to get married and I was actually

obsessed with it not necessarily like

the wedding day and like being someone's

wife but just the mystery behind like

who am I going to end up with what is my

life going to be like and I was thinking

about everything except how am I going

to be a good wife it wasn't until I

actually got engaged that I really

started focusing on what it actually

means to be a wife and what skills am I

lacking what areas do I need to grow in

and I don't want that to be you I want

you to be able to think about all of

these things before you even enter a

relationship if you're actually looking

to get married so I'm going to talk

today about 10 ways there are more than

10 we're just going to talk about 10

ways that you can prepare yourself to be

a wife prepare yourself for marriage

whether you are single or whether you

are already engaged so I hope that you

are just as excited as I am because

today we are going to talk about some

ways that you can prepare yourself for

marriage so I want you to go ahead and

sit back relax get something to drink

get something to write with and let's

talk about this so the first thing that

I want us to tap into is the idea that

being single is a blessing being single

is a positive thing part of this like

concept or this Fascination or or this

desire to get married often times leaves

us in this place where we feel like we

are at a disadvantage we are in a bad

space because we're single and we don't

understand that being single is a

blessing being marriage is a blessing

too but being single is positive it is a

good thing being single does not mean

that no one wants you that you're not

good enough being single just means that

you are fully complete in who you are

and you are waiting until you meet

someone someone who matches you as a

person matches your destiny matches your

lifestyle and someone who you approve of

to be your partner so we'll talk more

about being single later if you want

like content on singlehood specifically

and how to like not feel bad about being

single I can do content on that but just

know being single is positive and I

actually had so much fun being single

and learning about myself and learning

about the things that I could do then

things that I can no longer do now that

I'm married so that leads into one of

the first ways that you know you are

actually ready to get married is that

you don't have extremely strong feelings

about being single or about being

married some of us as people who are you

know dating and trying to figure out who

our husband's going to be how our life

is going to be like we are very obsessed

with marriage and that Obsession can

lead you to ending up with a wrong man

it can lead you to compromising on your

standards it can also lead you to just

you know jumping the gun maybe it is the

right man but it's not the right time

but if you're so obsessed with having

that title and having that kind of life

in the season that you're in then you

can end up in serious pain so you're not

obsessed with being single and you also

haven't given up there are some people

who are single Le and they truly have

given up you might feel like you're

never going to get married you're never

going to find the right guy you're never

going to meet him because you're not in

the right places and you don't have time

to date or you just don't know how to

get yourself together as a person or you

don't know what you're doing wrong on

these dates and you just given up you're

just like you know what I guess I'll

never get married okay those two

mindsets are both very dangerous and

that means that you're actually not

ready because you don't have hope and if

you don't don't have hope then you have

a negative disposition and if you meet

someone who could be a potential partner

you're already mind made up I guess I'm

not getting married like I guess I'm

going to stop trying and you might miss

out on someone incredible so if you do

not have either mindset the desperation

I have to have to have to and the I

guess it's never going to happen mindset

then you're on the right track another

way that you know that you are ready to

get married is when you understand what

marriage is for Why God created marriage

what is the actual meaning of marriage

not just the idea of having

companionship which is part of it but we

can have companionship in other ways you

can have friends you can have family you

can have co-workers companionship is

something that God wanted for Humanity

God gave adam Eve because he realized

that every other animal had a companion

and man was alone he wasn't lonely but

he was alone and God thought it would be

good for him to have companionship Adam

is the one who made Eve his wife but

what was that marriage for What is

marriage for and what is a kingdom

marriage there's like marriage right and

then there's Kingdom marriages and if

you are in Christ Kingdom marriage is a

completely different mindset your

marriage has a purpose in the world it's

not about just being in love and having

this great life but it's about you and

your husband actually producing

something that will shift humanity and

again we can talk about more of that

later but really understanding what is

marriage what is my role in marriage how

can I start practicing that right now

what am I already doing that's preparing

me for it what has happened to me that's

stopping me from really being able to

dive into that so getting into the

understanding is going to cause you to

have to do some research read some books

listen to some podcasts talk to people

get counseled in the purpose of marriage

another way that you know that you are

ready for marriage is when you are able

to understand your strengths and your

limitations this means that you're

someone who is self-aware and you know

yourself you know what you really

struggle with maybe people have told you

your own family has told you maybe it's

been a common theme when you date people

say Dam you got kind of like a temper or

something don't you like you've heard it

and so you know this is the area I

struggle in I have a really bad temper

and then you can start working on those

things there are many people and I would

say the majority of people do not know

their strengths or their limitations

it's not even just the areas that you

struggle in a lot of us also don't know

our strengths we're sometimes like too

busy or we feel too humble to really

like lean into what we're good at maybe

you're really good at cooking maybe

you're really good at being able to see

the problem exactly for what it is when

you talk to a person maybe you're very

good with math and finances and you know

how to like balance I guess no one

balances checkbooks anymore but that

used to be a skill that people used to

need thank God it no longer is because

I'm not good at math but there are other

skills that people are really good at

that it's important to know because when

you meet that right person or if you're

already with that person you know what

you bring to the marriage you know okay

well I am really good with organizing so

I know that I'm going to be able to like

get this house in order or I'm extremely

skilled at math and numbers and I can

manage the family's finances because

maybe he's not so good with that and

instead of going with the culture and

saying okay the man has to manage the

finances you know that it's okay if

you're with a man who isn't very good at

that because you can take on that and

this helps you feel more confident and

this helps you to match yourself well

with someone who really compliments you

right so knowing your strength and your

limitations also comes into play

obviously with your emotions and knowing

what really sets you off knowing what

you need in terms of needing time to

cool down needing no time to cool down

maybe you're someone who needs a hug

immediately you need him to just grab

you and hold you right away and that's

what calms you down we're all different

and that's a beautiful thing but you

knowing where you really shine and where

you really struggle is going to help you

to start focusing on working and praying

on those things before aligning yourself

with someone else in that same breath of

knowing your strengths limitation

you are also ready to be one with

another man when you're able to know how

your attitude impacts people around you

again this comes back to self-awareness

are you someone who's able to recognize

how your behavior affects people your

co-workers your family your pets like

how does your demeanor affect people do

people tend to like to be around you do

they feel comfortable around you do you

tend to make people feel nervous do you

tend to make people feel like they are

beneath you maybe you have like this

sort of arrogance or this demeanor where

like people just I don't know you just

walk around and you're just like this is

so beneath me you know and people always

feel like they have to be on their p's

and q's and just be perfect around you

are you one of those people who makes

everyone feel welcome and loved do you

tend to get real snarky and snappy at

certain times of the day how does your

attitude affect people around you

because your husband is going to be the

number one person affected by your

attitude if you're someone who has

mental health struggles you know maybe

you are diagnosed with something how

does this diagnosis impact the people

around you what do they need to be

prepared for what do you need to be

prepared for are you able to be with a

person with the things that you have

going on with you these are very serious

questions and this is how you're going

to know if you're really ready if you

haven't mastered these very serious

issues that you have you're going to

need to because it is unfair for another

person to meet you and think that you're

one way when you're not that way and

that ends up becoming a disaster later

on when they find out and then they no

longer want to be with you that hurts

much more severely when you're married

than it does when you have a breakup so

you want to make sure you are honest

with yourself and you can truly ask

yourself these questions how do I affect

people another way that you know that

you are ready to be married my love is

if you are malleable if you are moldable

if you are someone who can follow when

you're married your husband is a leader

he's the head of the household and this

is an appointment by God okay so he is

the one who's going to have the vision

for the family are you capable of

listening do you have issues with

authority are you at the point in your

life where you can say yes I can trust

and follow my husband even if he is not

always right cuz he won't be even if he

makes mistakes I am able to move along

with him I'm able to be by his side I am

not someone who's going to fight every

single thing and you will know this

again because this will either be

happening in your dating relationships

or in your personal relationships none

of these things are going to be a

surprise because this is who you are so

you want to be honest with yourself and

ask yourself how do I feel when this man

says no when we were on a date and I

wanted to go into the store and I went

into one store and then I wanted to go

into two and three and four and he says

no that's enough we've been to enough

stores today how does that make me feel

do I say uh uh uh uh uh you don't tell

me what to do no if you don't want to go

then you know what you don't have to go

you can stay out here I'm going to go by

myself I'll get an Uber and I'm going to

have a great day by myself like what is

your natural response to a man taking

Authority and saying this is not going

to happen or this is enough we've had

enough or this is what I would like us

to do are you able to say okay let me

see how I feel about that let's let's

work through this let's talk about this

or is it an automatic you don't tell me

what to

do you're going to know this in your

spirit you're going to know this in your

soul you're going to know this in your

body you're going to feel it it's not

going to feel good you're going to feel

this strong

tug if you're still having those issues

and you're not ready to be married cuz

that's part of being married that's part

of being married and you want a smooth

beautiful loving marriage you want your

husband to be able to know that he has a

wife who's going to be by his side

supportive understanding and is able to

submit to his god-given authority for

the family another way that you will

know that you are ready to be married is

when you are able to have full control

over your tongue if you're someone who

is able to say what they want to say

what they need to say in a kind way if

you're someone who's able to take

responsibility for the things that she

says if you're someone who's able to

recognize when you're saying things you

shouldn't say and ask God for help and

are you someone who's able to keep

things to yourself are you someone who's

able to say kind things about people

behind their backs are you responsible

for what comes out of your mouth if you

are then yes you're ready for marriage

but if you struggle if you struggle with

Outburst of anger if you struggle with

talking back if you struggle with lying

if you struggle with gossiping if you

struggle with oversharing personal

conversations that you have with other

people if you struggle with your tongue

in general you will know this you will

know that this is a personal area of

struggle and you will need to pray about

it and work on it in every single

relationship you have work on it until

it becomes your Norm because in marriage

that's what it's going to be a constant

communication of you and your husband

talking about things laughing about

things agreeing on things disagreeing on

things sharing things and it is all

about what you say and so if you're

someone who has no control over what she

says or you're someone who likes to talk

about your spouse other people you're

someone who likes to complain if you're

someone who likes to nag if you're

someone who likes to say things that are

hurtful when you're hurt then you're not

ready this is not a game your marriage

is a serious commitment it is a covenant

with God and you cannot fool around with

it if you're not mature enough to be

able to be with the person and control

what you say then you have to work on

that before God gives you someone

special another way that you will know

that you are ready for marriage is if

you you can hear God's voice this is a

really important one probably the most

important one hearing God's voice does

not mean you're sitting down in bed and

God says Vanessa no this is

understanding when God is speaking to

you and being able to pull that into

your private time with God and get

responses this is you being able to read

your Bible and hear from God as you read

and have questions answered and be able

to get directions from God you're going

to need to hear God's voice this is so

important because first of all you may

end up marrying someone you shouldn't

even marry because you couldn't hear

from God or in your marriage there are

going to be so many things that come up

from where you live to having children

and managing your home to things with

your body and things with illnesses and

family and finances I mean marriage is

just a Full Compilation of everything

right if you cannot hear God's voice and

you're not going to be able to make

sound decisions that are going to help

your family you're going to need to

spend lots of time in prayer as a wife

you're going to have to cover yourself

and your family in prayer fasting you're

going to have to do so much spiritually

because that's what's going to drive

everything that's actually happening the

spirit world is actually what drives the

world that you're in now so we don't

just live in a world that's like just

purely physical this is a spiritual

world and the physical world is a shadow

of the spiritual world everything

happens in the spirit first so if you're

not able to pull into the spirit world

with your relationship with God by

hearing his voice and knowing when he's

saying Michelle don't do that Stephanie

don't do that then you are headed for

trouble you're going to need to hear

from God when he wants you to invest in

a certain company when he wants you to

watch out for that neighbor when he's

telling you what's going on with your

husband because he's been really quiet

lately and something just seems off he's

going to tell you these things but can

you hear his voice are you so busy

scrolling on Tik Tok all the time and

trying to find the new fashion trends

and worried about your weave and worried

about Pilates classes are you so caught

up with the world that you are drowning

out God's voice because God's always

talking to you he's always talking but

most of us cannot hear him and you have

to be able to hear him in order to be a

beautiful wife in order to have a sound

marriage and so ask

yourself can you hear God's voice now I

know I said that I had a lot of things

to say and I do but I'm not going to be

able to say everything here I am going

to continue this conversation on my

podcast called the Dr dab show and you

can listen to the this exact episode and

it's going to be a little bit longer and

I'm going to talk about a few more

things of course this is a very long

list there are so many things that you

need in order to prepare for marriage

it's not limited to the things that I'm

talking about but if this is content

that really does help you let me know in

the comments like the video so I know

because this is something that we can

continue to talk about for those of you

who really are serious about preparing

for marriage I love you all so much and

I thank you for for being here and

listening to this and I hope that you

leave me a comment and tell me some

things that you know happened to you

that let you know that you were ready to

be married I love you and I will see you

in the next video bye-bye