Middle Class and Homeless | David Raether | TEDxAmherst

Summary

In this heartfelt speech, a former TV writer shares his journey from success to homelessness, reflecting on his fall from a lucrative career, personal loss, and eventual resilience. Once a writer for hit shows like 'Roseanne,' he describes the pain of losing everything, including his home and family, and the humbling experience of living on the streets for nearly two years. He speaks about the lessons of hunger, resourcefulness, and overcoming shame, emphasizing that poverty is painful but not shameful, and ultimately celebrates his personal growth through hardship.

Takeaways

• 🏠 The speaker was homeless for nearly two years, not due to addiction or crime, but because of financial failure and career loss.
• 📉 The speaker's career in TV writing collapsed after stepping away to focus on family, as the TV industry shifted towards reality programming and reduced opportunities for sitcom writers.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The speaker had eight children and took time off from work to restore balance in his family, but struggled to find work when he tried to return to television.
• 💼 Despite having a successful career and earning significant money, the speaker's fortunes changed, and he applied for over 2,500 jobs without success, eventually losing his house to foreclosure.
• 🛌 The speaker shares the emotional and physical challenges of homelessness, describing how he slept under stairwells and in parking lots, learning to ‘defeat the night’ each day.
• 🥪 The speaker describes hunger as a complex and profound state, explaining how it leads to a strange, calm acceptance after a few days of not eating.
• 📚 The speaker learned that material possessions are replaceable, but what he missed most during his homeless years was having a room, a bed, and the people he loved.
• 🛏️ The speaker emphasizes the value of simple things like a bed, describing it as a personal paradise and source of comfort.
• 😔 The speaker discusses the shame often associated with poverty in America, but argues that being poor is not shameful—rather, it is painful and challenging.
• 💪 The speaker is proud of surviving homelessness, saying that those years were formative and helped him understand his own resilience and ability to endure hardship.

Q & A

What is the speaker's background before becoming homeless?

The speaker was a TV writer for about 12 years, including a stint on the show 'Roseanne,' where they worked on 11 episodes. They made a significant income, up to $300,000 a year, with an additional $650,000 one year for creating TV show ideas.

How did the speaker’s career and financial situation deteriorate?

After stepping away from TV to focus on their family, the TV industry changed, with the rise of reality shows and a decrease in sitcoms. By the time the speaker tried to return to TV, jobs were scarce, and they struggled to find work, sending out over 2,500 resumes without success. This led to financial ruin, losing their house to foreclosure.

What led the speaker to homelessness?

After years of financial decline, losing their home, and being unable to find work, the speaker’s wife returned to Germany with some of their children. The speaker arranged for their two high-school children to stay with families, which left them without a place to stay, eventually becoming homeless.

What emotions did the speaker experience on their first night of homelessness?

The speaker described feeling stung, embarrassed, and humiliated, comparing it to being punched in the face unexpectedly. Despite their attempts to minimize the situation by telling themselves it wasn’t so bad, the reality of being exposed and vulnerable set in.

How did the speaker manage daily life while homeless?

The speaker learned to 'defeat the night' by finding safe and quiet places to sleep, such as parking garages. They became resourceful and learned to navigate the challenges of homelessness, adapting to their new reality over the course of two years.

What lessons did the speaker learn about hunger during their time on the streets?

The speaker learned that true hunger, the kind experienced after several days without food, is a complex and profound state. It brings a strange calm and lack of anxiety as the body and mind adapt to the situation, though it is not a pleasant experience.

What does the speaker say about material possessions after losing everything?

The speaker reflected that material possessions are completely replaceable. After once owning a large house filled with items, they were left with only a wallet their daughter made in school. The speaker emphasized that material things can always be bought again.

What was the most important thing the speaker missed while being homeless?

The speaker said that the one thing they truly missed was having a room, a bed, and the people they loved. They spoke about how there is nothing better than having a bed, a safe and private place where they could rest and feel protected.

How does the speaker view the concept of shame in relation to poverty and homelessness?

The speaker learned that being poor and homeless is not shameful, although in America, it is often treated as such. They came to be proud of their experience, emphasizing that while being poor is painful and devastating, it is not something to be ashamed of.

What is the speaker’s overall message at the end of their talk?

The speaker conveyed that their years of poverty and homelessness were some of the best because they learned resilience, endurance, and what they were truly capable of. They also expressed optimism, knowing they would have a great story to tell once they overcame those hardships.