My Advice to Young Men

Summary

The video script emphasizes the importance of inner strength and confidence as the true measure of masculinity in today's complex world. It argues against the need for external validation through material possessions or aggressive behavior, instead advocating for a quiet, calm strength exemplified by figures like Gary Cooper. The speaker suggests that true power comes from knowing oneself, being able to handle criticism, and having a deep respect for women. This inner strength is portrayed as inherently attractive and seductive, contrasting with the insecurity often masked by bravado. The script encourages young men to adopt this ideal, using it as a guide to navigate life and achieve long-term success and fulfillment.

Takeaways

• 💪 Inner strength is more important than outward aggression or material possessions. True power comes from knowing who you are and standing for what is right.
• 🧘‍♂️ Soft-spokenness and calmness are signs of strength, not weakness. Gary Cooper exemplified this by being balanced and assertive only when necessary.
• 🚫 Avoiding the need to brag or show off is a sign of confidence and maturity. People who constantly boast are often insecure and immature.
• 💼 Actions speak louder than words. Let your work and achievements define you, rather than seeking attention through material possessions or wealth.
• 🤝 True masculinity involves deep respect for women, treating them with honor, and adopting a chivalrous attitude.
• 🧵 Long-term success and power are more valuable than short-term gains. Focus on lasting achievements and mastery in your field.
• 🏋️‍♂️ A strong man can handle criticism and take guidance from mentors without becoming defensive or insecure.
• 🤔 Recognize when you're acting out of weakness and strive to align with your ideal of strength and virtue.
• 🏆 Emulate successful, long-lasting athletes like Michael Jordan, Tom Brady, LeBron James, and Kobe Bryant, who are admired for their sustained excellence.
• 🌟 Real masculinity is not toxic; it's about radiating inner strength and confidence, which is attractive and beneficial to society.
• 📚 Use the concept of a virtuous masculine ideal as a guiding principle to navigate through challenging times and cultural shifts.

Q & A

What does the speaker believe is the key to being truly powerful?

The speaker believes that being truly powerful involves having inner strength and not needing to prove oneself or aggressively pursue material possessions or recognition.

How does the speaker describe the current state of masculinity for young men?

The speaker describes it as confusing times, with traditional values and ideals of masculinity evaporating, leaving young men without a clear sense of direction or understanding of their roles.

Who is the Hollywood actor from the 1930s and 1940s that the speaker uses as an example of an ideal masculine figure?

The speaker uses Gary Cooper as an example of an ideal masculine figure, noting his soft-spoken nature, inner strength, and balanced approach to life.

What is the significance of the movie 'High Noon' in illustrating the speaker's concept of masculinity?

The movie 'High Noon' is significant because it features Gary Cooper as a sheriff who must stand up against evil forces, showcasing the speaker's concept of masculinity as one of quiet strength and moral courage.

How does the speaker define 'true inner strength'?

True inner strength is defined by the speaker as being quiet and calm, not needing to assert oneself aggressively or show off, and allowing one's actions to speak for themselves.

What does the speaker suggest is a sign of weakness in a person?

The speaker suggests that a sign of weakness is when a person feels the need to brag about their possessions, achievements, or conquests, indicating insecurity and immaturity.

According to the speaker, how should a strong man respond to criticism or mentorship?

A strong man should be able to take criticism and mentorship without becoming defensive or insecure, using it as an opportunity for growth and improvement.

What is the speaker's view on how a man should treat women?

The speaker believes that a man should have deep respect for women, treating them with honor and a chivalrous attitude, which he sees as a sign of inner strength and confidence.

What does the speaker consider as the true measure of success and power?

The true measure of success and power, according to the speaker, is not the early accumulation of wealth or fame, but rather the ability to last and excel in one's field over a long period, becoming a master in what one does.

How does the speaker relate the concept of masculinity to the idea of 'lasting' in one's career?

The speaker relates masculinity to 'lasting' by emphasizing the importance of having a long-term perspective and goal, focusing on mastery and deep understanding of one's field, rather than short-term gains.

What advice does the speaker give to young men regarding their behavior and attitude in today's world?

The speaker advises young men to cultivate inner strength and confidence, to be guided by virtues that signify strength in culture, and to avoid behaviors that reveal insecurity and weakness, such as bragging or aggressive posturing.

Outlines

00:00

💪 Inner Strength as the Ideal Masculinity

The first paragraph emphasizes the importance of inner strength and self-assuredness as the epitome of true power and masculinity. It suggests that rather than aggressively seeking validation or material possessions, one should focus on developing a strong character. The speaker discusses the changing societal views on masculinity and the need to redefine a virtuous masculine ideal. The ideal is exemplified by the character of Gary Cooper, a Hollywood actor known for his quiet confidence and moral fortitude. The paragraph also touches upon the idea that true strength is not about dominance or aggression but about having a balanced, calm demeanor and letting one's actions speak louder than words. It concludes by encouraging young men to adopt this ideal as a guiding principle in life, including how to handle criticism and the importance of not needing to boast about one's achievements.

05:02

🤝 Respect and Longevity in Masculinity

The second paragraph expands on the concept of true masculinity by highlighting respect for women and the value of a chivalrous approach. It argues that this old-fashioned notion of chivalry is a sign of inner strength and confidence, which is more attractive than bravado or showiness. The speaker suggests that women can sense genuine confidence and are repelled by insecurity. The paragraph also addresses the misconception that success is measured by early wealth accumulation, instead advocating for a long-term perspective focused on mastery and enduring success in one's career. It draws inspiration from enduring sports figures like Michael Jordan, Tom Brady, LeBron James, and Kobe Bryant, who are admired for their sustained excellence. The speaker encourages embracing a masculinity that is not toxic or aggressive but is characterized by inner strength and confidence, which will naturally attract the right opportunities and relationships.

Keywords

💡Inner Strength

Inner strength refers to the mental and emotional resilience one possesses. It is the power derived from within that allows a person to face challenges without needing external validation or material possessions. In the video, the concept is central to the theme, emphasizing that true power comes from knowing who you are and standing for what is right, rather than aggressively asserting oneself or seeking external proof of success.

💡Virtuous Masculine Ideal

The virtuous masculine ideal is a concept that embodies the positive attributes traditionally associated with masculinity, such as honor, respect, and strength of character. The video discusses the importance of defining this ideal to provide guidance and direction in a world where traditional values are shifting. The speaker uses the example of Gary Cooper to illustrate a man who embodied this ideal, being soft-spoken yet strong when necessary.

💡Traditional Values

Traditional values are the established beliefs, customs, and ideals that have been passed down through generations. The video mentions that these values, particularly those related to masculinity, are evaporating, causing confusion among young men. The speaker argues for the importance of redefining a virtuous masculine ideal to fill the void left by the fading of these traditional values.

💡Chivalry

Chivalry is a code of conduct associated with the medieval knightly class, emphasizing honor, courtly love, and respect for women. In the context of the video, chivalry is presented as a sign of true masculinity and strength. The speaker suggests that a chivalrous attitude towards women reveals a man's inner confidence and is deeply attractive, contrasting with the behavior of insecure men who feel the need to dominate or disrespect women.

💡Long-term Success

Long-term success is the achievement of goals and the accumulation of wealth or status over an extended period. The video contrasts this with the short-term focus on making money quickly, arguing that true success is about lasting in one's field and becoming a master. Examples given include sports figures like Michael Jordan and Tom Brady, who are admired for their sustained excellence over many years.

💡

💡Respect for Women

Respect for women in the video is portrayed as a fundamental aspect of true masculinity. It involves honoring and valuing women rather than seeking to dominate or control them. The speaker suggests that this respect is a reflection of a man's inner strength and is more appealing than aggressive or disrespectful behavior.

💡Self-Assertion

Self-assertion is the act of confidently expressing one's thoughts, feelings, or beliefs. However, the video argues that true inner strength does not require aggressive self-assertion. Instead, it is about knowing one's values and standing by them without the need to impose them on others. The speaker criticizes those who feel the need to brag or show off as revealing their inner weakness.

💡Insecurity

Insecurity is a feeling of uncertainty and self-doubt. The video suggests that individuals who brag about their possessions, achievements, or conquests are actually compensating for their insecurities. In contrast, a truly strong and confident person does not feel the need to boast because their actions and character speak for themselves.

💡Criticism

Criticism in the video is presented as a test of a person's inner strength. The ability to accept and learn from criticism without becoming defensive is seen as a sign of true strength. The speaker contrasts this with those who react aggressively to any form of challenge, which is indicative of their insecurity and lack of self-confidence.

💡Action over Words

The principle of action over words emphasizes the importance of what one does rather than what one says. The video suggests that people with inner strength let their actions demonstrate their character and achievements, rather than relying on talk or boasting. This is illustrated by the example of Gary Cooper, who, in the speaker's view, let his actions do the talking in his roles.

💡Maturity

Maturity in the context of the video refers to the emotional and intellectual development that comes with age and experience. It is contrasted with immaturity, which is associated with bragging and showing off. The speaker argues that truly mature individuals do not feel the need to prove themselves through material possessions or aggressive behavior, but rather through their quiet confidence and consistent actions.

Highlights

To be truly powerful, one doesn't have to aggressively seek out things or prove oneself; instead, inner strength will naturally attract opportunities.

In confusing times, defining a virtuous masculine ideal is crucial for young men to have a clear sense of direction.

Gary Cooper embodied an ideal of masculinity characterized by soft-spokenness, self-assuredness, and moral conviction.

True inner strength is quiet and calm, not about aggression or dominance.

Showing off wealth or possessions is a sign of weakness and insecurity, whereas true strength doesn't need to boast.

Actions should speak louder than words; one's achievements and character should be evident through their work and behavior.

Inner strength allows one to handle criticism and accept guidance without becoming defensive.

A truly masculine man has deep respect for women, treating them with honor and a chivalrous attitude.

Chivalry and respect towards women are signs of inner confidence and strength.

Women are attracted to men with inner confidence and security, which is more seductive than outward displays of bravado.

When one finds themselves reacting with anger or panic, it's a sign of falling short of the ideal inner strength.

Success is not about early wealth but about longevity and mastery in one's field.

Looking at sports icons like Michael Jordan, Tom Brady, LeBron James, and Kobe Bryant, longevity and consistency are signs of true success.

The goal should be to deeply understand and be creative in one's field, which will naturally lead to opportunities and recognition.

In a world where traditional masculinity is being questioned, embracing an inner strength and confidence is a positive and non-toxic ideal.

Advocating for a masculine ideal that is about inner strength, not outward aggression, as a guide through challenging times.

Transcripts

to be truly powerful you don't have to

go out there and grab things you don't

have to go prove yourself all of it will

come to you people will come to you

women will come to you job offers will

come to you money will come to you if

you have this kind of inner strength

inner power that I think is the ideal

for young men today in the world

these are actually very confusing times

before I believe for young men and the

majority of my readers to be honest with

you are young men and I do a lot of

Consulting with them so I understand the

confusion that is going on because

Traditional Values and traditional

ideals of masculinity are evaporating

and it's very disconcerting and so to me

the most important thing here is to

first of all Define an icon of what I

would consider a virtuous masculine

ideal for all of us to realize and think

about because without a nice sense of

unideal then we're kind of lost at sea

we don't really know where we're heading

we want to achieve or what we want to

aim for in life and so when I think of

masculinity or I think it means to be a

man I think in terms of it's very weird

but I have an image of My Mind of a

particular Hollywood actor from the 30s

and 40s I know that sounds cliched but

let me explain it to you for a minute

his name was Gary Cooper now it happened

he was extremely handsome but the ideal

for so long he kind of embodied this

particular ideal and what this idea was

he was very soft-spoken he didn't talk a

lot he wasn't aggressive or pushy but he

knew who he was he knew what he wanted

he knew what was right he knew what was

wrong and he stood for it and he didn't

like assert himself and tell everyone

you're wrong Etc but when he was pushed

he he was extremely strong inside he

knew who he was he was very balanced and

if you're ever going to watch a movie

and maybe you find old movies kind of

stupid but this is a great one that

really illustrates it and it's called

High Noon where he's the sheriff of this

town and he has to take on all of these

kind of evil bastards anyway so to me

the idea is you have a sense of control

of your nature of who you are you know

that you're not just about being

aggressive it's not just about picking

fights and going out in the world and

kind of hurting people or pushing them

around that's actually a sign of

weakness

true Inner Strength is something that's

quiet and that's calm right and so you

don't feel the need to push people to

hurt people to assert yourself to show

off to show how people who show off who

show off how wealthy they are how many

fancy cars they have are actually weak

they're actually insecure they're

actually incredibly immature and I talk

about in the laws of human nature that

when you look at somebody who has very

extreme qualities like bravado like

brashness like bragging about how great

they are by bragging about how many

women they've seduced by bragging about

their fancy cars they're actually really

weak little tiny people inside they're

trying to cover up all their weaknesses

all their insecurities with bravado but

you as a young man you don't need any of

that when you see it you're disgusted by

it because it reveals weakness somebody

who is truly strong inside doesn't have

to show off doesn't have to talk

doesn't have to say a lot that was the

whole thing about Gary Cooper he never

talked you know I say In Laws of Power

always say less than necessary weak

people have to talk I have to brag after

some of these things if you're strong

inside you let your actions do the

talking you don't have to go on websites

and show all the great things that your

cars your money your house it speaks

through your work for the things that

you have achieved through the businesses

that you have started through the books

that you have read you don't have to do

any talking your actions speak for

themselves so let's have certain ideal

certain standards of what we consider

masculinity or to be a strong man

actually are and to use that sort of

guide us through life so one thing is if

you're strong inside you can take

criticism people who have this kind of

fake masculinity by the moment you try

and challenge them or talk to them or

say that their idea these are stupid or

maybe that they don't know what they're

talking about they get so insecure and

they like lash out they fight back and

they yell we see all these kind of

trolls on the internet doing that right

but if you are truly strong you can take

criticism you can take a mentor you can

take somebody coming into your life and

say this is what you need to do this is

where you need to go you're not doing it

right you need to follow this path

instead of the one that you're on right

the other thing is a true man to me true

masculinity has deep respect for women

doesn't feel the need to insult them to

push them around to dominate them he

respects them truly and he honors them

and he almost has a kind of chivalrous

approach I know all of this sounds very

old-fashioned but you know these were

values that came up through culture over

hundreds and hundreds of years and they

have deep meaning and they have deep

import so having a chivalrous attitude

towards women to me reveals inner

strength and confidence the kind of

thing that I think women respond to I

don't think women respond to men they

can smell that insecure man from a mile

away and it repulses them they can also

smell a man who has that kind of inner

confidence the kind of inner security

and it's deeply seductive and deeply

attractive so having a sense of an inner

strength of knowing who you are of not

feeling the need to brag of knowing that

these are the virtues that signify

strength in our culture they become sort

of your daily guiding post and when you

catch yourself becoming all emotional

and all panicky and all yelling and

raging and angry you step back and you

go I'm being weak I'm falling below this

kind of Ideal that I think I should

follow in my life when it comes to your

career and to navigating the very

difficult environment that we're all

dealing with

you know a lot of young men think that

the sign of success or approving

themselves is by making a lot of money

early on and being able to show that but

to me that isn't what the game is all

about the game is how to last

so when I look at Sports and I look at

athletes that I really admire and I

think these are fantastic I think of

Michael Jordan I think of Tom Brady I

think of LeBron James I think of God

bless his soul Kobe Bryant people who

lasted they lasted for many years right

they weren't just one-hit wonders and so

true success and true power in life can

go on for 10 20 30 years you have a plan

you have a long-term career that you're

aiming for and your goal is not to like

make a bunch of money and show off it's

to become a master in what you're doing

to understand your field to be extremely

creative and Powerful in that and then

things will come to you so to be truly

powerful you don't have to go out there

and grab things you don't have to go

prove yourself all of it will come to

you people will come to you women will

come to you job offers will come to you

money will come to you if you have this

kind of inner strength this kind of

inner power that I think is the ideal

for young men today in the world it's

very confusing right now because

everything is so fluid and we're all

supposed to think that there's no such

thing as masculinity anymore that it's

toxic but real masculinity that real

kind of strength that I'm talking about

is not toxic at all it is not out there

to hurt people it's not out there to

dominate to be aggressive to push people

around it's all about an inner strength

an inner confidence that you radiate

outward and that's a beautiful beautiful

thing and I advocate making that your

ideal and making that the kind of the

Raider that guides you through these

very difficult times