what respecting yourself ACTUALLY looks like (and why people hate it)

Summary

The speaker discusses the importance of self-respect, emphasizing that it's impossible to please everyone without compromising your own values. They argue that constantly seeking approval leads to self-disrespect, while true success comes from setting boundaries and prioritizing personal goals. Using examples from their own life, the speaker highlights how self-respect shapes productivity, personal growth, and ultimately, happiness. They also stress the difference between self-love and self-respect, asserting that the latter is more crucial for achieving lasting success and fulfillment.

Takeaways

• 😊 Respecting yourself is crucial, even if it means upsetting or disappointing others.
• 🤔 Trying to please everyone can lead to disrespecting yourself and ignoring your own needs.
• 🙅‍♂️ Saying 'no' when needed is a form of self-respect, as it prevents compromising your own priorities.
• 💬 People-pleasing stems from insecurity and can lead to disregarding your own well-being.
• 👍 It's more important to have consistent good intentions and be a good person than to make everyone like you.
• 💔 Loving yourself doesn’t automatically mean you respect yourself; self-respect requires intentional actions.
• 🧠 Self-deprecating behaviors, such as picking out flaws, show a lack of self-respect.
• 🎯 Failing to achieve personal goals often happens because of self-disrespect, not lack of motivation.
• ⏳ Respecting yourself involves small daily actions, like taking care of hygiene and prioritizing your needs.
• 💡 If you don’t respect yourself, others won't either, and it will hinder your personal success.

Q & A

Why does the speaker believe that being disliked or upsetting others can be a sign of self-respect?

The speaker argues that if no one dislikes you, it may indicate you're compromising your own needs and desires to please others. Respecting yourself often means making decisions that others might not like, but that are necessary for your own well-being.

What does the speaker identify as the main consequence of trying to please everyone?

The speaker believes that trying to please everyone leads to self-disrespect, as you end up prioritizing others' needs over your own, which can be mentally and emotionally draining.

How does the speaker differentiate between self-love and self-respect?

The speaker explains that self-love is about appreciating yourself and your qualities, while self-respect is about holding yourself accountable to actions and standards that benefit your well-being. Loving yourself doesn't always mean respecting yourself.

What example does the speaker give to illustrate the difference between self-love and self-respect?

The speaker mentions that you can love yourself and still engage in negative behaviors, like self-deprecation. However, respecting yourself means not allowing those negative thoughts or behaviors to take control.

Why does the speaker believe that failing to respect oneself leads to failure in life?

The speaker argues that if you don't respect yourself, you're less likely to follow through on important goals. Over time, this lack of self-respect erodes motivation and trust in your own abilities, leading to a lack of success.

What role does the speaker suggest discipline plays in self-respect?

Discipline is essential for self-respect, according to the speaker. Following through on small but significant tasks, like keeping up with hygiene or achieving daily goals, builds respect for yourself and helps create a foundation for success.

How does the speaker's attitude toward people-pleasing change over time?

The speaker reflects that in college, they were a people-pleaser, driven by insecurity and the need to be liked by everyone. As they matured, they realized that their focus should be on respecting themselves rather than constantly seeking approval from others.

What analogy does the speaker use to describe self-disrespect in relation to setting goals?

The speaker compares self-disrespect to giving a friend an important task that they continually fail to accomplish. Over time, you'd lose trust in that person, just as you lose trust in yourself if you constantly ignore or disrespect your goals.

Why does the speaker believe respecting yourself is more important than loving yourself?

The speaker suggests that loving yourself is important, but it doesn't guarantee success. True growth and success come from respecting yourself by consistently upholding your values, maintaining discipline, and not compromising on your priorities.

What is the speaker's message to people who struggle with self-respect and success?

The speaker advises that to achieve success, you must first respect yourself. This means taking care of the little things, such as maintaining discipline, accountability, and boundaries, even if it means upsetting others along the way.