Finding Dark Souls At The Right Time

CasualGuyy
2 Sept 202410:35

Summary

TLDRThe video script narrates the personal journey of a man who, during a period of unemployment and self-doubt, finds solace and purpose in playing Dark Souls. Initially struggling with the game and his career, he eventually beats Dark Souls, reigniting his passion for gaming and pushing him to pursue self-employment. The game serves as a metaphor for overcoming life's challenges and finding oneself.

Takeaways

  • 🎮 A podcast question explored the idea of specific games resonating at certain times in life, similar to how music or art can hit harder depending on personal circumstances.
  • 📆 The speaker recalls a difficult time in 2017 when they moved to Manchester, struggling with job rejections and feeling disconnected from their creative ambitions.
  • 💼 After finally landing a job, they were disappointed, feeling unfulfilled and anxious in a role that seemed meaningless.
  • 🔄 During the pandemic in 2020, they were made redundant from their job, but surprisingly, it was a relief, leading to a fresh start and a move back home to Scotland.
  • 🎮 Dark Souls, a game they initially struggled with, became a turning point during this period of uncertainty. The game provided both an escape and a sense of purpose when they felt directionless in life.
  • 🔥 The iconic bonfire in Dark Souls symbolized a resting point between life’s hardships, and for the speaker, the game became their own bonfire — a source of comfort and focus.
  • 🕹️ Beating Dark Souls felt like a significant personal achievement, dispelling the self-doubt they had harbored for years and igniting a newfound confidence to tackle challenges.
  • 🏋️ Dark Souls inspired the speaker to take more risks and step out of their comfort zone, including starting to work out, take up rock climbing, and pursue creative ventures.
  • 🧠 The speaker emphasizes that overcoming the challenge of Dark Souls was a mental victory, reminding them that they were capable of more than they previously believed.
  • 🌟 They reflect on how playing Dark Souls rekindled their love for gaming, showing that at the right moment, a game can have a profound, transformative impact on someone's life.

Q & A

  • What key life events led the speaker to play Dark Souls?

    -The speaker moved to Manchester with his girlfriend, struggled to find a job in the creative industry, and eventually worked a job he disliked. After becoming redundant and moving back to Scotland, he was in a low point in his life and decided to give Dark Souls another try.

  • Why did the speaker initially struggle to get into Dark Souls?

    -The speaker found Dark Souls overwhelming and difficult to break into, especially compared to the more guided, 'hand-holding' games he was used to playing.

  • How did the speaker’s relationship with Dark Souls change during the pandemic?

    -During the pandemic, after losing his job and returning home, Dark Souls became a central focus for the speaker. It provided an escape from the difficulties in his life, allowing him to overcome challenges in the game, which gave him a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

  • What role did Dark Souls play in the speaker's mental health?

    -Dark Souls acted as a kind of mental 'bonfire,' providing the speaker with a safe space to escape from the anxieties of life. It helped him focus on the game instead of his worries and feelings of failure.

  • How did beating Dark Souls affect the speaker’s sense of self-worth?

    -Beating Dark Souls gave the speaker a small but significant sense of achievement. It showed him that he could overcome challenges he had previously believed were beyond his capabilities, and it sparked his confidence to try other new things.

  • What metaphor does the speaker use to describe how he felt about his life before replaying Dark Souls?

    -The speaker compares himself to the Crestfallen Warrior from Dark Souls, a character who has lost motivation and purpose. He felt as though he was drifting through life without direction, similar to this in-game figure.

  • How did Dark Souls help rekindle the speaker's love for gaming?

    -Before replaying Dark Souls, the speaker feared that he had lost his passion for gaming. However, the challenge and immersion of Dark Souls reignited his love for the medium, showing him that he simply hadn't been playing the right type of game for him.

  • How does the speaker describe the social aspect of Dark Souls in his life?

    -The speaker notes that Dark Souls players often introduce their friends to the game. After his friend George insisted he play Dark Souls, the speaker then introduced his own friend, Kieran, to the game. This created a shared experience and bond between friends.

  • What message does the speaker take from his experience with Dark Souls?

    -The speaker learned that things he once considered impossible or beyond his reach—like beating Dark Souls—could be accomplished if he just tried. This realization extended to other areas of his life, giving him more confidence to take on challenges.

  • What is the significance of the quote from Thomas Merton in the speaker’s closing remarks?

    -The quote from Thomas Merton, 'Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time,' resonated with the speaker because it encapsulated his experience with Dark Souls. The game allowed him to lose himself in its challenges while also helping him rediscover his passion and confidence.

Outlines

00:00

🎮 Reflecting on Games That Define Moments

The narrator introduces a thought-provoking question about games that could only be played during a certain time in one’s life or that resonate due to life circumstances. They liken this to how certain songs hit harder during specific emotional experiences. The idea of finding a game, like a work of art, at the right moment in life can deeply shape how it’s perceived.

05:02

🏙️ The Journey to Manchester and Career Struggles

In 2017, the narrator moves to Manchester with their girlfriend, struggling to find a job in the creative industry. After nearly a year, they finally secure a videographer job, only to hate it. Feeling anxiety and dissatisfaction with the mundane nature of the work, they describe this period as filled with frustration and purposelessness. Their job felt meaningless, which added to the sense of being stuck in life.

10:03

🕹️ Rediscovering Passion Through Dark Souls

A close friend constantly recommended Dark Souls, but the narrator initially found it too difficult and overwhelming. However, in 2020, after being made redundant from their job, they finally gave Dark Souls another shot. This time, the game became a central focus, offering a meaningful escape from the frustrations of life. It became a way to avoid thinking about the uncertainties of their future and served as a much-needed distraction.

🔥 Dark Souls as a Bonfire in Life

The narrator reflects on how Dark Souls provided comfort in a difficult time. Just like the iconic bonfires in the game, which offer a break amidst danger, the game itself gave them respite from the stress and anxiety they were facing. Playing Dark Souls helped the narrator shift focus away from their real-life struggles and find solace in the challenge of the game. They emphasize how the game became an unexpected achievement, overcoming something they never thought possible.

🏆 Overcoming Life’s Challenges and Embracing New Experiences

Beating Dark Souls sparked a shift in the narrator’s perspective. Although they’d always struggled with confidence, this small victory encouraged them to try things outside their comfort zone, like going to the gym or climbing. Dark Souls didn’t change their life, but it served as a symbol of breaking through self-imposed limitations. They relate the experience to gaining the courage to become self-employed and pursue video editing work full-time.

👾 Passing on the Dark Souls Legacy

The narrator discusses the tradition among Dark Souls players of recommending the game to friends, knowing they will eventually appreciate it. They bought the game for their friend Kieran, who initially lost interest but later returned to it. This highlights the universal experience of Dark Souls players: helping others discover the game’s significance when they’re ready for it.

🧘 Finding Meaning in Gaming and Life

The narrator reflects on how gaming, particularly Dark Souls, helped them rediscover their passion for video games during a time of uncertainty. They conclude with a quote from Thomas Merton, suggesting that art allows people to find and lose themselves at the same time. For the narrator, Dark Souls was more than just a game—it was a way to reconnect with a sense of purpose and joy in life.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Dark Souls

Dark Souls is a popular video game known for its high difficulty, intricate mechanics, and deep lore. In the video, it symbolizes personal struggle and overcoming challenges. The narrator recounts how Dark Souls helped him cope with feelings of purposelessness during a low point in his life. The game becomes a metaphor for perseverance and self-discovery.

💡Bonfire

In Dark Souls, bonfires serve as checkpoints where players can rest and heal. The narrator uses the bonfire as a symbol of refuge and reflection amidst life's struggles, mirroring how he found comfort and a sense of calm in playing the game during a stressful period. It represents moments of peace in a chaotic life.

💡Purpose

Purpose refers to a sense of direction or meaning in life. In the video, the narrator feels aimless, struggling with finding meaning in his job and personal life. Dark Souls serves as a temporary purpose, giving him something to focus on and overcome, which helps rekindle his motivation in real life.

💡Hollow

In Dark Souls, a 'Hollow' is a character who has lost all purpose and will, essentially a metaphor for giving up. The narrator compares his own feelings of failure and loss of direction to going Hollow, signifying his fear of becoming someone who drifts through life without motivation or hope.

💡Confidence

Confidence is a theme that emerges as the narrator reflects on how Dark Souls challenged his self-doubt. By completing the game, something he had previously deemed impossible, he gained a small but significant boost in confidence that encouraged him to take on other challenges in life, like pursuing self-employment.

💡Failure

Failure is central to the narrator's experience, both in life and in playing Dark Souls. He describes feeling like a failure in his career and personal endeavors, which is mirrored by the countless failures he experienced in the game. However, overcoming these failures in Dark Souls helped him shift his mindset in real life.

💡Resonance

Resonance in this context refers to how the game Dark Souls deeply connected with the narrator’s life situation at the time. The emotional and psychological themes in the game mirrored his own struggles, making the experience particularly impactful. He reflects that if he had played it at a different time, it might not have resonated as deeply.

💡Anxiety

The narrator frequently mentions anxiety, especially relating to his work life. He describes how mundane tasks and work meetings caused him immense stress, much like the tense moments in Dark Souls when a player faces overwhelming odds. The game provided him with a productive outlet for coping with these feelings.

💡Self-discovery

Self-discovery is a key theme, as the narrator reflects on how playing Dark Souls helped him learn more about his own capabilities. By pushing through challenges he initially thought were insurmountable, he discovered a new level of resilience within himself, which extended into other aspects of his life.

💡Art

Art is discussed in the context of both the video game and life. The narrator quotes Thomas Merton, stating that 'art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.' For him, Dark Souls is a form of art that allowed him to escape from his problems temporarily while also helping him understand more about himself and his resilience.

Highlights

The speaker reflects on how finding the right game at a specific time in life can resonate strongly, like art during emotional moments.

In 2017, the speaker moved to Manchester, struggled with job applications, and experienced overwhelming feelings of failure.

The speaker eventually got a job in the creative industry but hated it, leading to increased anxiety and lack of fulfillment.

The speaker felt stuck, working on mundane tasks like adding text boxes to outdated websites and managing social media engagements.

A conversation with the boss about long-term goals deepened the speaker’s realization of dissatisfaction in the job.

In 2020, the speaker was made redundant from work during the pandemic, which brought a mix of relief and reflection.

The speaker moved back to Scotland, living with parents again, and was uncertain about future career prospects and personal goals.

Feeling lost, the speaker revisited Dark Souls, a game that previously felt overwhelming, and it became a form of escape.

Dark Souls’ bonfires became symbolic of rest and refuge in the speaker’s life, serving as a way to temporarily escape daily struggles.

Through persistence, the speaker completed Dark Souls, marking a personal achievement and a mental shift toward resilience.

This gaming accomplishment sparked a new approach to challenges in life, encouraging the speaker to step out of their comfort zone.

Dark Souls rekindled the speaker’s love for gaming and helped to combat feelings of purposelessness.

The speaker became a source of encouragement for others to try Dark Souls, exemplifying the game’s community-driven influence.

The speaker reflects on how overcoming challenges in Dark Souls paralleled real-life growth and sparked a newfound sense of confidence.

A quote from Thomas Merton, ‘Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time,’ encapsulates the speaker’s reflection on Dark Souls.

Transcripts

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recently heard a question on a podcast

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that I thought was really interesting so

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my question of the FPS team is is there

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a game that you feel you could only have

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played at a certain point in your life

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or alternatively is there a game that

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resonated with you especially strongly

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because of something in your life

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wouldn't be the same if you played it

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for the first time today and I thought

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this was super interesting cuz I'd never

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really thought about this when it came

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to gaming you know I've been listening

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to like a Joi song or something and

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thinking wow if I was going through a

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breakup this would hit really hard and I

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think finding a piece of art at a

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certain time in your life which is not

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really made for you like it's not going

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to hit you as hard can give you a really

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narrow perspective of that piece of art

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yeah anyway this is H finding Dark Souls

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at the right time

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[Music]

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[Music]

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so to explain the story we got to go

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back to 2017 my girlfriend gets offered

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a job in Manchester and I decided to

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come along since I had nothing going on

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in my life you know I have an art degree

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no one's asking me to work anywhere so

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we moved to Manchester and I get a

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shitty security job for the time being

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while I look for a job in the creative

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industry after hundreds of applications

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countless interviews constant rejection

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and this overwhelming feeling that I

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should just suck on the Battle of a gun

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I finally got got a job I get a job as a

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videographer SLG graphic designer it

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took me almost a year to finally get

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this job but I finally got it and I

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hated it my job was kind of a joke so I

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just didn't care which then meant that I

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was anxious about being there because I

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didn't feel like I was doing anything

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worthwhile every single day I was just

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riddled with anxiety every single

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meeting had a fog door in front of it

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every single catch up I could hear the

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Boss music and it was kind of my fault

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cuz I would just watch the clock and not

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do any work and then go for like a half

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an hour [ __ ] every morning on company

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time obviously what you have to

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understand is that I was adding text

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boxes to websites from like the '90s and

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then interacting with different

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companies on Twitter and making jokes as

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if we were people it was just it was so

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cursed the fact I didn't jump off the

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roof you should be proud I remember one

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time having like a monthly catch up with

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the big boss man and he actually asked

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me what my 5year plan was and I thought

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it'd be funny at the time to go M I

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don't know what I'm doing tomorrow and

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the guy looked at me like I just shot on

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his floor and whilst I'm working this 9

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to5 that I can't stand in I ha in my

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free time I'm trying to make YouTube

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videos and I'm put so much effort and

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I'm trying so hard to make these videos

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and looking back they were just dog [ __ ]

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you know during this time I'm not really

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playing many games cuz all I have is my

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PS4 which doesn't have like any games

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and then I have a PC that takes 30

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minutes to boot and I started to worry

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that I was losing a passion that I've

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had since I was 5 years old I started to

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think like are games just not for me

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anymore have I grown up now my good

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friend George who is far far cooler than

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me and far more handsome and just the

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best he has always been moaning at me

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that I need to play Dark Souls it's been

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his thing for years he was always

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nagging me telling me how I was Miss

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missing out and I would never be a real

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man until I played this game and

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eventually I caved and I tried it and I

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just couldn't really get into it just I

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couldn't break the barrier it was far

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too overwhelming so I just went back to

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my wi handholding games you know my we

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button prompts tell me what to do

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exactly when so then fast forward to

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2020 ah the great time out for everyone

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and I was made redundant don't feel bad

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please please I didn't hi there you

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sorry pal we're going to going to have

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to let you go I've not got a job for you

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anymore is that right I oh well is what

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it is you know [ __ ] happens thank you so

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much for being so reasonable during the

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situation no no no thank thank you thank

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you being made redundant was probably

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one of the happiest days of my life I'm

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not going to lie like some people want

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to spend the rest of their life in an

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office about Twitter engagement in a

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meeting that's cool do you but for me I

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would rather do a Dark Souls one no hit

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run and [ __ ] do that again so at this

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point me and Emily realized there was

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nothing really keeping us in Manchester

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you know we'd been there for over 3

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years we'd experienced it but we were

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both very homesick so we decided to move

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back home get the [ __ ] in my face so we

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moved back to Sunny Scotland so here I

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was a guy who went from having a career

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living in a cool City far away from my

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family being independent to now living

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in my parents house and having no career

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and not even knowing if the thing that

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I've worked and trained for the past few

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years I even like and top that off I

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can't even make YouTube videos because

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I'm locked inside with my parents and

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God forbid they find out that I do this

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so then I managed to get this like

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shitty job working security like it

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wasn't the worst but it wasn't the best

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it was something to do and I was just

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kind of down bad I wasn't doing the best

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I felt like I kind of [ __ ] it like I

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just [ __ ] up completely and I was

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never actually going to have a purpose

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and I was just going to meander my way

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through life I don't know why but for

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whatever reason I decided that now would

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be the perfect time to retry Dark Souls

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I don't know if I just thought my soul

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wasn't broken enough but I decided to

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give it a go so I started playing it but

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this time it was kind of like my main

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focus it was all I really cared about

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and before I knew it I was getting

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further than I'd ever made it playing it

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before I was learning mechanics I was

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reading descriptions I was looking at Wy

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and learning lore and I became

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completely amassed it's funny because

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the the iconic imagery of Dark Souls is

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the the bonfire you know the this rest

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point in between all the violence and

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scares and fear you have like this

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moment of rest where you can take a

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breath and think about things and for me

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in life Dark Souls was my bonfire at

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that point at the end of a shitty day

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where I'd be feeling horrible I could

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sit down and play this game and not

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think about anything else I was spending

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so much time dayto day like scared about

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the future and stressed about what I was

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doing and totally unsure of who I was or

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what I wanted to do but Dark Souls was

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this escape and this thing where I could

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play that and not have to wor about

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those problems and it was good because

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you can't really think of much more when

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you are playing Dark Souls because if

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you don't really pay attention you're

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going to get [ __ ] up so I couldn't

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really worry about my life and I

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eventually beat the game and it was a

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really strange feeling because I'd

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always written off Dark Souls is

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something I could never do I know it's

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really trivial to put a game as this

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thing I could never achieve but

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genuinely I'd put it like this was

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something I could never achieve in my

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life cuz I just wasn't good enough I

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don't want to be over dramatic and say

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this was like this huge achievement in

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my life but at that time it really was

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I'd overcome something that I told

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myself for years I couldn't do so then I

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immediately went and installed Dark

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Souls I because I was told that Dark

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Souls I was different so I played that

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Non-Stop and then I actually beat that

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game and I will never forget messaging

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my friend George to tell him that I'd

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beat the Sol of Cinder on my very first

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attempt hoping to be showered with

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praise and be told that I am a real man

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and he just replied in the messages

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going well he's a pretty easy boss

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anyway [ __ ] but Dark Souls made me

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realize something quite funny and that's

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I think I was going Hollow like

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generally I'd lost all motivation or

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purpose and what I was doing with my

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life and I was starting to become like

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the crest Fallen Warrior and I never

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want to be the crest Fallen Warrior

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never be that guy do you know how many

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[ __ ] Crest Fallen Warriors I've met

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in real life every single older person

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in a retail job I think I've always had

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like a weird issue with confidence and

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I've never felt confident or good enough

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at any one thing to actually go and do

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it and I don't want to be hyperbolic and

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say that beating Dark Souls changed my

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life and made me more confident but I

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think Dark Souls was like a spark a

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first lame if you will for me to go out

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of my comfort zone and try things that I

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hadn't done before small things you know

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like now I go to the gym I know you

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wouldn't be able to tell but I do that I

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go climbing now I can climb I would have

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never climbed I could I could climb this

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tree if you want me to watch

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this I'm out here filming in public

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public I would have never done that

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before if anyone out there does

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something creative with their life you

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probably had people that come out to and

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be like why don't you just like Do Your

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Own Thing why don't you just work for

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yourself I used to always be like

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absolutely [ __ ] not I'm I'm falling

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off my chair [ __ ] that there is no

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[ __ ] way that I'm going to have the

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stress of working for myself and having

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to I'll just get a paycheck I'll just

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get a job that I don't even like just so

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I have a paycheck and I don't need to

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worry and right now sitting here it's

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been over a year of me being full-time

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self-employed editing videos for other

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people something back then I would have

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never even thought about doing now

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obviously Dark Souls didn't get me work

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you know it didn't change my life and

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make me do that but it showed me this

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very benain example of something that

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I'd written off that I couldn't do and I

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was like I won't even B mother and

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showed me that I could actually do it if

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I just tried everyone kind of knows Dark

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Souls is one of these games it's

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attributed to helping so many people

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through hard times in their life now I

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wasn't really going through it I just

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kind of didn't have any purpose and

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wasn't sure where I was going I wasn't

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like ready to I wasn't going to off

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myself right Dark Souls at that point

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became this temporary purpose for me

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something that I could focus on and and

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take my mind off of how much of a

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failure I was and how much I hated

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myself and also

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rekindled yeah it also rekindled my love

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for gaming I did go through a phase

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where I was like maybe I just don't like

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Gam GES anymore and it that was wrong it

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was just I wasn't playing the type of

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games I needed to play and it's a game

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that made me realize how much I love

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gaming and how important these little

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coded ones and zeros are to me to the

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point where I am sat in a forest talking

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to a camera about I think there's a

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really cool Moment Like a right of

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passage with being a Dark Souls player

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where most people that play Dark Souls

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is because they have that one friend and

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they're so persistent that you have to

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play this game and then everyone that

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then plays Dark Souls and beats it then

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becomes that friend to someone else so

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last year my friend Kieran kind of

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mentioned that he kind of wanted to try

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Dark Souls so I immediately went on

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Steam and bought him it because I knew

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at some point he would play it and he

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started playing it and he kind of fell

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off and I wasn't annoyed I wasn't upset

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because I knew at some point in his life

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he would return to that game and it

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would hit him just as hard as it hit me

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and then and then the other day he was

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playing

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it

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yes

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yes oh I'm so proud of him I take back e

play09:28

this the best F in the world

play09:30

I wanted to end this video on like a

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really profound note but everyone's kind

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of overdone the whole like don't you

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dare go Hollow or thank you Dark Souls

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thing and I find this stupid quote from

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this like monk guy and his name is

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Thomas Merton I quickly looked at his

play09:44

Wikipedia [ __ ] knows who he is but this

play09:46

is super cringe by the way but just

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indulg me for a second but he says art

play09:50

enables us to find ourselves and lose

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ourselves at the same time and I think

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that sums up everything I've been trying

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to say about Dark Souls you know I

play09:57

probably could have just said that and

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that would have been the video de uh

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anyways I will stay behind to gaze at

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the sun the sun is wondrous the sun is

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the the son is a wondrous body like the

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Magnificent father if only I could be so

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grossly

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iridescent it'd be really good if the

play10:15

sun was out for that shot but you know

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we're in Scotland anyway thank you very

play10:20

much for watching bye-bye

play10:25

[Music]

play10:33

oh

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Dark SoulsGaming JourneyOvercoming ChallengesPersonal GrowthMental HealthResiliencePurposeSelf-DiscoveryMotivationGaming Culture