Finding Dark Souls At The Right Time
Summary
TLDRThe video script narrates the personal journey of a man who, during a period of unemployment and self-doubt, finds solace and purpose in playing Dark Souls. Initially struggling with the game and his career, he eventually beats Dark Souls, reigniting his passion for gaming and pushing him to pursue self-employment. The game serves as a metaphor for overcoming life's challenges and finding oneself.
Takeaways
- 🎮 A podcast question explored the idea of specific games resonating at certain times in life, similar to how music or art can hit harder depending on personal circumstances.
- 📆 The speaker recalls a difficult time in 2017 when they moved to Manchester, struggling with job rejections and feeling disconnected from their creative ambitions.
- 💼 After finally landing a job, they were disappointed, feeling unfulfilled and anxious in a role that seemed meaningless.
- 🔄 During the pandemic in 2020, they were made redundant from their job, but surprisingly, it was a relief, leading to a fresh start and a move back home to Scotland.
- 🎮 Dark Souls, a game they initially struggled with, became a turning point during this period of uncertainty. The game provided both an escape and a sense of purpose when they felt directionless in life.
- 🔥 The iconic bonfire in Dark Souls symbolized a resting point between life’s hardships, and for the speaker, the game became their own bonfire — a source of comfort and focus.
- 🕹️ Beating Dark Souls felt like a significant personal achievement, dispelling the self-doubt they had harbored for years and igniting a newfound confidence to tackle challenges.
- 🏋️ Dark Souls inspired the speaker to take more risks and step out of their comfort zone, including starting to work out, take up rock climbing, and pursue creative ventures.
- 🧠 The speaker emphasizes that overcoming the challenge of Dark Souls was a mental victory, reminding them that they were capable of more than they previously believed.
- 🌟 They reflect on how playing Dark Souls rekindled their love for gaming, showing that at the right moment, a game can have a profound, transformative impact on someone's life.
Q & A
What key life events led the speaker to play Dark Souls?
-The speaker moved to Manchester with his girlfriend, struggled to find a job in the creative industry, and eventually worked a job he disliked. After becoming redundant and moving back to Scotland, he was in a low point in his life and decided to give Dark Souls another try.
Why did the speaker initially struggle to get into Dark Souls?
-The speaker found Dark Souls overwhelming and difficult to break into, especially compared to the more guided, 'hand-holding' games he was used to playing.
How did the speaker’s relationship with Dark Souls change during the pandemic?
-During the pandemic, after losing his job and returning home, Dark Souls became a central focus for the speaker. It provided an escape from the difficulties in his life, allowing him to overcome challenges in the game, which gave him a sense of accomplishment and purpose.
What role did Dark Souls play in the speaker's mental health?
-Dark Souls acted as a kind of mental 'bonfire,' providing the speaker with a safe space to escape from the anxieties of life. It helped him focus on the game instead of his worries and feelings of failure.
How did beating Dark Souls affect the speaker’s sense of self-worth?
-Beating Dark Souls gave the speaker a small but significant sense of achievement. It showed him that he could overcome challenges he had previously believed were beyond his capabilities, and it sparked his confidence to try other new things.
What metaphor does the speaker use to describe how he felt about his life before replaying Dark Souls?
-The speaker compares himself to the Crestfallen Warrior from Dark Souls, a character who has lost motivation and purpose. He felt as though he was drifting through life without direction, similar to this in-game figure.
How did Dark Souls help rekindle the speaker's love for gaming?
-Before replaying Dark Souls, the speaker feared that he had lost his passion for gaming. However, the challenge and immersion of Dark Souls reignited his love for the medium, showing him that he simply hadn't been playing the right type of game for him.
How does the speaker describe the social aspect of Dark Souls in his life?
-The speaker notes that Dark Souls players often introduce their friends to the game. After his friend George insisted he play Dark Souls, the speaker then introduced his own friend, Kieran, to the game. This created a shared experience and bond between friends.
What message does the speaker take from his experience with Dark Souls?
-The speaker learned that things he once considered impossible or beyond his reach—like beating Dark Souls—could be accomplished if he just tried. This realization extended to other areas of his life, giving him more confidence to take on challenges.
What is the significance of the quote from Thomas Merton in the speaker’s closing remarks?
-The quote from Thomas Merton, 'Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time,' resonated with the speaker because it encapsulated his experience with Dark Souls. The game allowed him to lose himself in its challenges while also helping him rediscover his passion and confidence.
Outlines
🎮 Reflecting on Games That Define Moments
The narrator introduces a thought-provoking question about games that could only be played during a certain time in one’s life or that resonate due to life circumstances. They liken this to how certain songs hit harder during specific emotional experiences. The idea of finding a game, like a work of art, at the right moment in life can deeply shape how it’s perceived.
🏙️ The Journey to Manchester and Career Struggles
In 2017, the narrator moves to Manchester with their girlfriend, struggling to find a job in the creative industry. After nearly a year, they finally secure a videographer job, only to hate it. Feeling anxiety and dissatisfaction with the mundane nature of the work, they describe this period as filled with frustration and purposelessness. Their job felt meaningless, which added to the sense of being stuck in life.
🕹️ Rediscovering Passion Through Dark Souls
A close friend constantly recommended Dark Souls, but the narrator initially found it too difficult and overwhelming. However, in 2020, after being made redundant from their job, they finally gave Dark Souls another shot. This time, the game became a central focus, offering a meaningful escape from the frustrations of life. It became a way to avoid thinking about the uncertainties of their future and served as a much-needed distraction.
🔥 Dark Souls as a Bonfire in Life
The narrator reflects on how Dark Souls provided comfort in a difficult time. Just like the iconic bonfires in the game, which offer a break amidst danger, the game itself gave them respite from the stress and anxiety they were facing. Playing Dark Souls helped the narrator shift focus away from their real-life struggles and find solace in the challenge of the game. They emphasize how the game became an unexpected achievement, overcoming something they never thought possible.
🏆 Overcoming Life’s Challenges and Embracing New Experiences
Beating Dark Souls sparked a shift in the narrator’s perspective. Although they’d always struggled with confidence, this small victory encouraged them to try things outside their comfort zone, like going to the gym or climbing. Dark Souls didn’t change their life, but it served as a symbol of breaking through self-imposed limitations. They relate the experience to gaining the courage to become self-employed and pursue video editing work full-time.
👾 Passing on the Dark Souls Legacy
The narrator discusses the tradition among Dark Souls players of recommending the game to friends, knowing they will eventually appreciate it. They bought the game for their friend Kieran, who initially lost interest but later returned to it. This highlights the universal experience of Dark Souls players: helping others discover the game’s significance when they’re ready for it.
🧘 Finding Meaning in Gaming and Life
The narrator reflects on how gaming, particularly Dark Souls, helped them rediscover their passion for video games during a time of uncertainty. They conclude with a quote from Thomas Merton, suggesting that art allows people to find and lose themselves at the same time. For the narrator, Dark Souls was more than just a game—it was a way to reconnect with a sense of purpose and joy in life.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Dark Souls
💡Bonfire
💡Purpose
💡Hollow
💡Confidence
💡Failure
💡Resonance
💡Anxiety
💡Self-discovery
💡Art
Highlights
The speaker reflects on how finding the right game at a specific time in life can resonate strongly, like art during emotional moments.
In 2017, the speaker moved to Manchester, struggled with job applications, and experienced overwhelming feelings of failure.
The speaker eventually got a job in the creative industry but hated it, leading to increased anxiety and lack of fulfillment.
The speaker felt stuck, working on mundane tasks like adding text boxes to outdated websites and managing social media engagements.
A conversation with the boss about long-term goals deepened the speaker’s realization of dissatisfaction in the job.
In 2020, the speaker was made redundant from work during the pandemic, which brought a mix of relief and reflection.
The speaker moved back to Scotland, living with parents again, and was uncertain about future career prospects and personal goals.
Feeling lost, the speaker revisited Dark Souls, a game that previously felt overwhelming, and it became a form of escape.
Dark Souls’ bonfires became symbolic of rest and refuge in the speaker’s life, serving as a way to temporarily escape daily struggles.
Through persistence, the speaker completed Dark Souls, marking a personal achievement and a mental shift toward resilience.
This gaming accomplishment sparked a new approach to challenges in life, encouraging the speaker to step out of their comfort zone.
Dark Souls rekindled the speaker’s love for gaming and helped to combat feelings of purposelessness.
The speaker became a source of encouragement for others to try Dark Souls, exemplifying the game’s community-driven influence.
The speaker reflects on how overcoming challenges in Dark Souls paralleled real-life growth and sparked a newfound sense of confidence.
A quote from Thomas Merton, ‘Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time,’ encapsulates the speaker’s reflection on Dark Souls.
Transcripts
recently heard a question on a podcast
that I thought was really interesting so
my question of the FPS team is is there
a game that you feel you could only have
played at a certain point in your life
or alternatively is there a game that
resonated with you especially strongly
because of something in your life
wouldn't be the same if you played it
for the first time today and I thought
this was super interesting cuz I'd never
really thought about this when it came
to gaming you know I've been listening
to like a Joi song or something and
thinking wow if I was going through a
breakup this would hit really hard and I
think finding a piece of art at a
certain time in your life which is not
really made for you like it's not going
to hit you as hard can give you a really
narrow perspective of that piece of art
yeah anyway this is H finding Dark Souls
at the right time
[Music]
[Music]
so to explain the story we got to go
back to 2017 my girlfriend gets offered
a job in Manchester and I decided to
come along since I had nothing going on
in my life you know I have an art degree
no one's asking me to work anywhere so
we moved to Manchester and I get a
shitty security job for the time being
while I look for a job in the creative
industry after hundreds of applications
countless interviews constant rejection
and this overwhelming feeling that I
should just suck on the Battle of a gun
I finally got got a job I get a job as a
videographer SLG graphic designer it
took me almost a year to finally get
this job but I finally got it and I
hated it my job was kind of a joke so I
just didn't care which then meant that I
was anxious about being there because I
didn't feel like I was doing anything
worthwhile every single day I was just
riddled with anxiety every single
meeting had a fog door in front of it
every single catch up I could hear the
Boss music and it was kind of my fault
cuz I would just watch the clock and not
do any work and then go for like a half
an hour [ __ ] every morning on company
time obviously what you have to
understand is that I was adding text
boxes to websites from like the '90s and
then interacting with different
companies on Twitter and making jokes as
if we were people it was just it was so
cursed the fact I didn't jump off the
roof you should be proud I remember one
time having like a monthly catch up with
the big boss man and he actually asked
me what my 5year plan was and I thought
it'd be funny at the time to go M I
don't know what I'm doing tomorrow and
the guy looked at me like I just shot on
his floor and whilst I'm working this 9
to5 that I can't stand in I ha in my
free time I'm trying to make YouTube
videos and I'm put so much effort and
I'm trying so hard to make these videos
and looking back they were just dog [ __ ]
you know during this time I'm not really
playing many games cuz all I have is my
PS4 which doesn't have like any games
and then I have a PC that takes 30
minutes to boot and I started to worry
that I was losing a passion that I've
had since I was 5 years old I started to
think like are games just not for me
anymore have I grown up now my good
friend George who is far far cooler than
me and far more handsome and just the
best he has always been moaning at me
that I need to play Dark Souls it's been
his thing for years he was always
nagging me telling me how I was Miss
missing out and I would never be a real
man until I played this game and
eventually I caved and I tried it and I
just couldn't really get into it just I
couldn't break the barrier it was far
too overwhelming so I just went back to
my wi handholding games you know my we
button prompts tell me what to do
exactly when so then fast forward to
2020 ah the great time out for everyone
and I was made redundant don't feel bad
please please I didn't hi there you
sorry pal we're going to going to have
to let you go I've not got a job for you
anymore is that right I oh well is what
it is you know [ __ ] happens thank you so
much for being so reasonable during the
situation no no no thank thank you thank
you being made redundant was probably
one of the happiest days of my life I'm
not going to lie like some people want
to spend the rest of their life in an
office about Twitter engagement in a
meeting that's cool do you but for me I
would rather do a Dark Souls one no hit
run and [ __ ] do that again so at this
point me and Emily realized there was
nothing really keeping us in Manchester
you know we'd been there for over 3
years we'd experienced it but we were
both very homesick so we decided to move
back home get the [ __ ] in my face so we
moved back to Sunny Scotland so here I
was a guy who went from having a career
living in a cool City far away from my
family being independent to now living
in my parents house and having no career
and not even knowing if the thing that
I've worked and trained for the past few
years I even like and top that off I
can't even make YouTube videos because
I'm locked inside with my parents and
God forbid they find out that I do this
so then I managed to get this like
shitty job working security like it
wasn't the worst but it wasn't the best
it was something to do and I was just
kind of down bad I wasn't doing the best
I felt like I kind of [ __ ] it like I
just [ __ ] up completely and I was
never actually going to have a purpose
and I was just going to meander my way
through life I don't know why but for
whatever reason I decided that now would
be the perfect time to retry Dark Souls
I don't know if I just thought my soul
wasn't broken enough but I decided to
give it a go so I started playing it but
this time it was kind of like my main
focus it was all I really cared about
and before I knew it I was getting
further than I'd ever made it playing it
before I was learning mechanics I was
reading descriptions I was looking at Wy
and learning lore and I became
completely amassed it's funny because
the the iconic imagery of Dark Souls is
the the bonfire you know the this rest
point in between all the violence and
scares and fear you have like this
moment of rest where you can take a
breath and think about things and for me
in life Dark Souls was my bonfire at
that point at the end of a shitty day
where I'd be feeling horrible I could
sit down and play this game and not
think about anything else I was spending
so much time dayto day like scared about
the future and stressed about what I was
doing and totally unsure of who I was or
what I wanted to do but Dark Souls was
this escape and this thing where I could
play that and not have to wor about
those problems and it was good because
you can't really think of much more when
you are playing Dark Souls because if
you don't really pay attention you're
going to get [ __ ] up so I couldn't
really worry about my life and I
eventually beat the game and it was a
really strange feeling because I'd
always written off Dark Souls is
something I could never do I know it's
really trivial to put a game as this
thing I could never achieve but
genuinely I'd put it like this was
something I could never achieve in my
life cuz I just wasn't good enough I
don't want to be over dramatic and say
this was like this huge achievement in
my life but at that time it really was
I'd overcome something that I told
myself for years I couldn't do so then I
immediately went and installed Dark
Souls I because I was told that Dark
Souls I was different so I played that
Non-Stop and then I actually beat that
game and I will never forget messaging
my friend George to tell him that I'd
beat the Sol of Cinder on my very first
attempt hoping to be showered with
praise and be told that I am a real man
and he just replied in the messages
going well he's a pretty easy boss
anyway [ __ ] but Dark Souls made me
realize something quite funny and that's
I think I was going Hollow like
generally I'd lost all motivation or
purpose and what I was doing with my
life and I was starting to become like
the crest Fallen Warrior and I never
want to be the crest Fallen Warrior
never be that guy do you know how many
[ __ ] Crest Fallen Warriors I've met
in real life every single older person
in a retail job I think I've always had
like a weird issue with confidence and
I've never felt confident or good enough
at any one thing to actually go and do
it and I don't want to be hyperbolic and
say that beating Dark Souls changed my
life and made me more confident but I
think Dark Souls was like a spark a
first lame if you will for me to go out
of my comfort zone and try things that I
hadn't done before small things you know
like now I go to the gym I know you
wouldn't be able to tell but I do that I
go climbing now I can climb I would have
never climbed I could I could climb this
tree if you want me to watch
this I'm out here filming in public
public I would have never done that
before if anyone out there does
something creative with their life you
probably had people that come out to and
be like why don't you just like Do Your
Own Thing why don't you just work for
yourself I used to always be like
absolutely [ __ ] not I'm I'm falling
off my chair [ __ ] that there is no
[ __ ] way that I'm going to have the
stress of working for myself and having
to I'll just get a paycheck I'll just
get a job that I don't even like just so
I have a paycheck and I don't need to
worry and right now sitting here it's
been over a year of me being full-time
self-employed editing videos for other
people something back then I would have
never even thought about doing now
obviously Dark Souls didn't get me work
you know it didn't change my life and
make me do that but it showed me this
very benain example of something that
I'd written off that I couldn't do and I
was like I won't even B mother and
showed me that I could actually do it if
I just tried everyone kind of knows Dark
Souls is one of these games it's
attributed to helping so many people
through hard times in their life now I
wasn't really going through it I just
kind of didn't have any purpose and
wasn't sure where I was going I wasn't
like ready to I wasn't going to off
myself right Dark Souls at that point
became this temporary purpose for me
something that I could focus on and and
take my mind off of how much of a
failure I was and how much I hated
myself and also
rekindled yeah it also rekindled my love
for gaming I did go through a phase
where I was like maybe I just don't like
Gam GES anymore and it that was wrong it
was just I wasn't playing the type of
games I needed to play and it's a game
that made me realize how much I love
gaming and how important these little
coded ones and zeros are to me to the
point where I am sat in a forest talking
to a camera about I think there's a
really cool Moment Like a right of
passage with being a Dark Souls player
where most people that play Dark Souls
is because they have that one friend and
they're so persistent that you have to
play this game and then everyone that
then plays Dark Souls and beats it then
becomes that friend to someone else so
last year my friend Kieran kind of
mentioned that he kind of wanted to try
Dark Souls so I immediately went on
Steam and bought him it because I knew
at some point he would play it and he
started playing it and he kind of fell
off and I wasn't annoyed I wasn't upset
because I knew at some point in his life
he would return to that game and it
would hit him just as hard as it hit me
and then and then the other day he was
playing
it
yes
yes oh I'm so proud of him I take back e
this the best F in the world
I wanted to end this video on like a
really profound note but everyone's kind
of overdone the whole like don't you
dare go Hollow or thank you Dark Souls
thing and I find this stupid quote from
this like monk guy and his name is
Thomas Merton I quickly looked at his
Wikipedia [ __ ] knows who he is but this
is super cringe by the way but just
indulg me for a second but he says art
enables us to find ourselves and lose
ourselves at the same time and I think
that sums up everything I've been trying
to say about Dark Souls you know I
probably could have just said that and
that would have been the video de uh
anyways I will stay behind to gaze at
the sun the sun is wondrous the sun is
the the son is a wondrous body like the
Magnificent father if only I could be so
grossly
iridescent it'd be really good if the
sun was out for that shot but you know
we're in Scotland anyway thank you very
much for watching bye-bye
[Music]
oh
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